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who or what influenced you to give your son the responsibiltiy of his intact genitals - Page 2

post #21 of 75
I had thought a little about it, but never really understood what it meant to a man to have that done. When we found out we were having a boy, I looked up info on circs, and I came out very anti-circ! I now have a healthy 9 month old intact son! I even recently convinced a friend not to circ.
post #22 of 75
Having been a jew and married to a muslim it was ofcourse expected. Whatever happened during dd's pregnancy TOTALLY changed my whole outlook on parenting and life in general. I was the one who said-NO. And after much soul searching I also decided that religions that require genital cutting was not to be a part of our children's upbringing. Genital cutting is wrong.No excuse makes it acceptable.And like someone else said-it is sexual abuse. I am amazed that it took me all these years to realize that.I will make sure my kids and other young adults know early on know ALL about circumcision and why it should be stopped.

Sara
post #23 of 75
When I was 7 years old, I saw Ricky C. standing next to me at the urinal in the boys restroom at school. He had something I didn't have and that lead me on a journey of discovery. By the time I was a teen, I knew I had been cheated out of something I really wanted. As the years have continued, I have realized the horror of why I really wanted it. Education can be a very disturbing thing but it is better than remaining ignorant. In this issue, education will end perpetrating this on future generations.





Frank
post #24 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestbirths
Can I just be the cheap one here and say, its because we were uninsured and the hospital wanted $50 bucks to do it, and we didn't have $50 bucks.

This is a prime example of why Medicaid and insurance shouldn't pay for circumcision.
post #25 of 75
I have a daughter but we didn't know the sex and had decided not to circ. I feel I never thought it was a "normal" thing to do but, at the same time, I probably would have been a person to "let the father decide" --- before I read more about it.

But, DH was against circ even before we got together so it never would have happened if we had DS together.

In addition to all of this, many of my friends became anti-circ when they began thinking of having children, the books and pregnancy & child development classes I took addressed the issue and I think my midwife would have "educated" me if I had not told her about our decision not to circ.
post #26 of 75
For me the clincher was the pain factor. No way was I going to allow anyone to cause my baby pain. I just couldn't fathom doing it.

We didn't have a computer when I was pregnant, so I didn't really do any research until after the fact anyway. Dh and I basically figured it was unneccessary, so why do it?

Knowing what I do now, I am SO happy that we didn't let that happen to ds.
post #27 of 75
Tradition.

As far as I know, FIL is the only male I'm related to that is not intact. My dad is intact (and as we were a very open family so I saw it, his is the prototype 'normal' as far as my own mental preconceptions are concerned), my brothers are intact, my husband is intact, uncles, grandfathers, etc, etc, etc. So I've always been able to laugh off the if-you-don't-do-it-then "horror stories" as none of them have ever had problems (believe me, I'd know, we know what kind of birth control everyone is using, who has what disorder, everything, seriously, it's not a very 'private' family).
post #28 of 75
first it was my family - my brothers are intact and my mother would have ripped me to shreds if I'd done that to her first and only grandchild!

Then I actually got to see him for the first time and he was so beautiful and perfect! I'd spent 8 months taking the best care of him I could while he was inside me and there was no way I was going to let anyone hurt him after that.
post #29 of 75
[QUOTE=Frankly Speaking]When I was 7 years old, I saw Ricky C. standing next to me at the urinal in the boys restroom at school. He had something I didn't have and that lead me on a journey of discovery. By the time I was a teen, I knew I had been cheated out of something I really wanted. As the years have continued, I have realized the horror of why I really wanted it. Education can be a very disturbing thing but it is better than remaining ignorant. In this issue, education will end perpetrating this on future generations.



Frank, do you ever think Ricky looked at you and all the other boys and wished HE looked like YOU? Just wondering...

Anyway, I agree with the other poster, *I* didn't give my son the responsibility of whole genitals, someone or something much bigger than ME decided what he should be born with. I guess it was my godparents who led me to the idea that circ was bizarre/silly...my godmother told me my godfather said, "why would you want to cut off something so good?" (that was after I noticed my godbrothers were intact and asked about it, I think...I was 12, they were 3 and 5).

Julie
Mom to a whole boy
post #30 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by DesireeH
When I was 6 my bro was born......I remember being outside the door with my mom while he was screaming and we could hear him, my mom was crying too.

But I didnt think of that again until later. I kind of just always knew I wouldnt do that if I had boys.......when I got married and we started ttc I started looking it up on the internet. I saw that one on cirp and omg, I was sick at how anyone could do that to their kids!! I started doing more and more reseach and learned about the purpose of the foreskin and of course I have an intact son.

My "friend" was inside the room when her brother was circ'd and she is still going to circ her son at the end of the month when he is born. We haven't spoken in over 2 weeks over it and I doubt she will speak to me again. I made my feelings known about it, provided her with some literature and she flipped and hasn't spoken to me since or answered any emails :
post #31 of 75
It was without a doubt one family I nannied for. Their son was intact, and when he was a couple years old the Mothering issue of Where Is My Foreskin came out. I brought up the topic with dh after I'd read that, and was shocked at how firm he was in his stance thhat any son of his would be circed. I was so afraid of the debate that I didn't bring it up again until after the ultasound showed ds to be male. Then I tried for the next 5 months to sway him. I never did. After ds1 was circed, the regret and guilt made me realize it was the meanest thing I'd ever done. To allow it to be a debate.

With ds2 I never even entertained the possibility of would it or would it not be done. I knew the answer. I didn't care what dh thought, or society, or my firstborn.

It's still the biggest regret of my life because it permenantly impacts my ds. It wasn't my choice to have made, or dh's choice to have made.
post #32 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoolsPlus2
Frank, do you ever think Ricky looked at you and all the other boys and wished HE looked like YOU? Just wondering...
Ya know Julie, that never ever crossed my mind until just now. I guess it's just outside my realm of reasoning that a man would actually want part of his penis cut off. Your question was immediately a little shocking to be truthful.




Frank
post #33 of 75
What actually made me give circ a second thought was a sexual psychology class I took in college. It was taught by this really cool lady about to retire. She brought it up in class and showed some slides of uncirc'd and circ'd and spoke about how the procedure was medically unecessary. Afterwards, she asked the class how many people would give circing a second thought when they had children, and she had swayed at least 50% of the class to reconsider.

I did more research on it when we were having our interview done at the birth center. The interviewing nurse gave us a couple of anti-circ info sheets, which really hit home with me, but really pissed off dh. It was an issue for us until after ds was "too old" to have it done.

When our midwife asked about circing this little guy that's due in Sept, it was my husband who said a firm no! I'm not exactly sure what has changed his mind over the last 3 years, but it made me very happy.
post #34 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankly Speaking
Ya know Julie, that never ever crossed my mind until just now. I guess it's just outside my realm of reasoning that a man would actually want part of his penis cut off. Your question was immediately a little shocking to be truthful.




Frank
I guess I just spend too much time at a certain "support" board where I have read this...er...viewpoint...
post #35 of 75
Maxim magazine. :LOL I know, not generally thought of as a serious or particularly sensitive magazine, but they ran an article a few years ago, complete with horrifying pictures... I wish I had a copy of it now. It told the truth about circumcision, and it was 100% convincing to me. I like to think that there are a whole bunch of young men out there whose eyes were opened by that article, and won't circ their sons!

Before that, I'd never even thought about it. It was just "what you do." Although I think my midwife would have talked me out of it; she was anti-circ, for her clients. She had circ'ed her own 3 boys for religious reasons.
post #36 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lula's Mom
Maxim magazine. :LOL I know, not generally thought of as a serious or particularly sensitive magazine, but they ran an article a few years ago, complete with horrifying pictures... I wish I had a copy of it now. It told the truth about circumcision, and it was 100% convincing to me. I like to think that there are a whole bunch of young men out there whose eyes were opened by that article, and won't circ their sons!
Do you happen to remember what month and year that was? Maxim is dh's guilty pleasure and that might help me out......
post #37 of 75
I never thought about it at all while I was pregnant. The thought never crossed my mind until I saw a video of it being done on TLC or Discovery and the baby was strapped down and screaming and right then and there I thought how awful. I'll never do anything like that to my son.
post #38 of 75
I don't know exactly how we (DH and I) came to the decision to not circ since DH is. I know I thought it was a barbaric practise just from the pain aspect and didn't want my newborn subjected to it. DH seemed to be neutral either way.

I am finding it difficult to support my choice here (Kansas) where DS is the only intact boy I know. At age four he is already being teased for his "funny looking pee-pee." The health department nurse who did his preschool physical said I should get him circ'd immediately so he wouldn't be teased, get infections, etc. His foreskin also doesn't retract and that alarmed her. I called my doctor's office to see how many years it takes to retract and got at least three different answers. So, he's still intact and his foreskin is still not retracting. I hope we made the right decision and that later he won't have to go under the knife...
post #39 of 75
TexcalKan, It hurts to think of a small child being teased about this. We live in Kansas, too. And for a healthcare worker to tell you he will be teased-shocking! The infection part-perposterous! Our 8 yr. old intact son has never been teased or had an infection. Our (15 yr old) circ. son was the one with the adhesions and infections, what a mess. What is the situation where your son has been teased? Can you avoid this situation again? Being intact is becoming more and more the norm. I heard that it is more or less 50-50 now. We are all different, no one looks or acts the same. Even in Kansas, differences can be respected. Who are these kids that are teasing ds and have you met the parents and talked to them about this?
post #40 of 75
Kimberly:

Who the heck is teasing your son? I find it hard to believe that children that young would even be aware of a difference. I'm not disputing you but that just surprises me. If it's adults, they deserve a tongue lashing from the pits of h*ll!

That health department nurse sounds like an evil nurse I saw on the Jack Nicholson movie "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest." She was clearly out of bounds and I hope you gave her "what for."

At your son's age, only slightly over 1/3 of boys are retractile so he is absolutely normal. You made absolutely the right decision! If you need accurate and truthful information, come here. I'll be happy to be your personal foreskin consultant.




Frank
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