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June 1st- June 14th chit chat.....wow!!! - Page 3

post #41 of 147
Today went pretty well. I spent most of the day out at the baseball fields for my nephews tournament. They have won all the games so far. We should conclude the games tomorrow. After a very hot day at the baseball fields my mom and I went to JCpenny and browsed then met my sister at Cicis Pizza then went to the pool. Aww gota love that water.
girlfactory: I sent you an IM. I will be praying for you
jillybean: yes, I think my dream was based on some of my fears. I was so nieve last pg. And fearless too. I love being a doula, but I guess I have taken my experiences or maybe I should say what some of my clients have experienced (breech babies, still birth, miscarriage,emergency c-sec, etc) the list could go on, and basically now I worry about it all. After my miscarriage last August I read a book called "Supernatural Childbirth" by Jackie Mize I am a Christian and believe that all things happen for a reason and that God will reveal that in his own way in his own time. Anyway, the book is not just about giving birth but about trusting God. It also talks about when we fear we are not placing all of our trust in Him. I know God doesn't expect any of us to be perfect and thank goodness cause we'd all be doomed. But when I find myself in the midst of all my fears and doubts it's easy to let my imagination just sweep me away instead of just redirecting my faith toward God. It is nice for me though to always be able to pray and ask for his guidance and I do start having more positive thoughts.
post #42 of 147
oh, laurie! what you said... i'm a doula, too, and most of the 30-some odd births i've attended have happened since my last labor. between my own two miscarriages, two SIDS deaths, a handful of c/sections, a stillbirth, and various other adventures, i'm certainly less naiive ten years later!

BUT... a bunch of those births were fantastic, too. i have several midwife friends, and they love to tell birth stories... and i soak them up like a sponge! i was blessed with three fairly normal labors, all at home, with no complications, and i have no reason to suspect that this one will be anything different.

all that knowledge, yes, it does generate new fears. but i've seen that fearing something doesn't manifest it (despite what some folks say), nor does it prevent it. i've been trying to make a conscious and joyful choice to dispel my fears, and trust that this baby is going to be OK. and that if something does happen, well, i've done everything i need to in order to be as prepared and safe as reasonably possible.

having lived in fear and in peace, i can tell you that the latter is SO much easier on you! you can get there... yoga, meditation, prayer, reading ina may's books' birth stories, talking to your baby, talking things over with your midwife... there are a lot of things you can do.

warm hugs to you, mama! let's celebrate these beautiful babies, not hesitate!

katje
post #43 of 147
Chiming in with Laurie and Katje - sometimes I think experience can hurt you. First time Moms have fears but they are not nec as tangible. I always think how lucky hb moms who have had no complications are - they go into birth with no weight on their shoulders. For me I had one scare and one great labour so I have mixed emotions - but because DDs birth went so well I am trying to pull from that more than the c-section with DS. But in the back of my head I still "know" what almost happened. My relationship with my MW is so important because when I start to freak out she sets me straight and I have 100% trust in her as does my husband.

Plus, once you have a kid you enter a new world. Women treat you much differently once you are a part of the "club". Going along with that you are exposed to many more birth stories, fertility stories etc. and can help or hinder. In my case I was surrounded by women who have lost child after child and then the funeral in Feb. It really has started to wear on me. Like you Laurie, I have my faith which helps me. I believe that things happen for a reason - whether I like it or not - I try to focus on that when I get so upset with DHs harrassing ex, SD and our back to back babies...I have to believe there is a reason behind it all or I would be even more insane.

Well, a first for me, 2 people this weekend told me how huge I am. There's no way you'll go until August looking like that was one comment!! One actually knows me from previous pg. I don't appreciate it!!! I have forever to go and really would prefer nothing to be said! I am measuring right on - the only thing I can say is that I am LOW. Even my Dad was shocked. Speaking of which - said good-bye to him last night - we are a really close family. I feel very selfish too because people are going to put their lives on the line for him to keep him safe and I can't tell you how much that means to me but all the while I still worry about his safety. he's been in similar situations before and come out safe - I need to focus on that.

OK must go I am supposed to be getting a shower.
post #44 of 147
I have heard so much in the last couple of weeks about how I *must be having twins*

UGH - I love my belly, but I'm getting sick of the assumptions. I've gained something like 11 pounds - and it's ALL in my belly this time I think, I look like I've got a beach ball under my shirt. I LOVE it, I LOVE that I look so pregnant.

But why must people assume that either I've gained too much weight, or I'm carrying more than 1 ?
post #45 of 147
great pics lizabear....you know I haven't taken a picture of myself since...Easter? I need an update. How do you post pictures on the internet? Is it free? How do you do it? I have never done it before. I send them as attachments in emails all the time. I'd love to have a picture of ben in my sig. I'd love to show a difference to you guys from last pregnancy to this one. I'm right on the same track that I was last time but I look soooo much skinnier.I wonder if it is because i was sooooo bloated last time. This baby is all muscle. He's going to be a soccerplayer. I can tell by the way he kicks me!
post #46 of 147
wow, i noticed my linea negra was getting darker this morning... you don't need a bright light to see it anymore. pretty cool!

knitted two more little baby washclothes (so easy, and i feel so productive!).

dh says i'm showing but i think most people still can't tell. sigh. i've gained maybe a total of 14 lbs (33 weeks tomorrow)... but i sure FEEL huge.

gonna make that lemon sorbet today. mmm, can't wait! and do some gardening, write some thankyou notes, reconfigure my email account (too much spam coming in on the old one!), and maybe work on that smaller soaker a bit. just puttering on a warm sunday morning... enjoying this slower-paced life i've made while it lasts!

have a lovely day, ladies... i think your bellies look beautiful!

katje
post #47 of 147
Thread Starter 
:
I am just checking in..been reading just no real time to post to everyone..sorry..been sick and today we had our BFW class so just no time and it is 10pm now and I need to try to get some rest.
32 week mark for me coming up on Tuesday..
write more later

girlfactory

linea negra ..I still do not have this yet....I had it with ds #1 but I cannot remember when....hhmmm .....

ttyl
post #48 of 147
Christeeny: my photos on the web are free at www.webshots.com
I did a search on the internet for Free photo webpages. You do have to choose a user name and password but no money! When I did the search it also gave me several websites that allow you to create photo pages of your newborn. I would do a search if I were you and then just browse to see which one will work out best for you. My webshots is really easy to add photos and you can create several folders so you could have for example
Folder 1: belly pics Folder 2: Sonogram pics Folder 3: Pics of your other children Folder 4: Share your birth pictures Folder 5: Pics of the new baby
Just whatever you want. It's really neat.

I had a nice weekend. I spent most of it outside in the heat at my nephews baseball tournament. My DD just can't get enough of being outside. She also loves other kids. She is not shy with other children at all. Quite the social butterfly actually. I am actually doing really well handling the heat. Pregnant or not, being outside in heat above 85 usually makes me nautious.
My DH was in the mood for wings last night. I went to 'wing stop' to get them. While I was there I met another lady who is due July 29th. We had a very interesting conversation. This is her first pregnancy and she is young. I was in awe of what she was going through. How we met: She asked when I was due and I told her 1st week in Aug. then she shared her due date and said that her doc was wanting to do a scheduled c-sec two weeks before her due date. I basically just asked why and she said that her doctor had been saying c-section since her first initial appointment. Basicaly her doctor just looked at her and said her body wasn't built for vaginal delivery. I didn't cuss, but I was thinking some nasty things about that doctor. After finding out she lives in Arlington I was pretty sure I already new what hospital but she confirmed it and said Medical City of Arlington. This hospital is not friendly and has one of the highest c-section rates in TX. like 38 point something percent. It's rediculous. They also don't allow VBAC. Urgh! And when moms come in in labor they are immedietly put on the monitor and not allowed out of bed. Anyway When they tested her for GD the doctors nurse called her at home and said her sugers were so high her baby would probably be still born. I was in shock by this point and asked if she had considered finding a new doc and birth location. She said she didn't think she was allowed too since she had signed papers at her initial visit. I gave her a quick run down of her rights to choose. And I gave her my contact info, phone number and email etc... I hope I hear from her. I told her I would give her any and all info I had to help and I could point her in the direction of some mother friendly doctors.
I went home so upset for this girl. It just blows me away how often medical professionals are not honest and they push thier own agenda on pregnant moms. :
On the flip side I did feel better about my choice in my caregiver.

Ohh about peoples comments. I got my 3rd "Are you sure it's not twins" comment on Friday. People are ignorant I really used to get upset over these comments with my first pg. But this time I know how well Iv'e done. I have eaten better and excercized. I think my prego belly is beautiful and I love it. I know it's not nice of me, but when I get those comments I usually wish to myself that when they get pregnant that they will get soooooooooo huge. Awful I know, but Urgh!

Well enough of Yall have a great afternoon. I hope to find myself in the swimming pool this afternoon!
post #49 of 147

ODD experience yesterday - what do you think of this ?

A neighbour I'm quite friendly with asked me the other day if she could be here when Li'l Bug is born. She was asking where I was planning on having the baby - I told her right here (we were in my apartment).

Very odd I thought - we're friendly, not friends, and certainly NOT that close.

Not even my mom or MIL have requested to be at the birth.

I told her no. Not maybe, just NO. And that I just don't feel comfortable with my naked arse out for all to see - that it would be DH, Boo, myself and my attendants (doula & midwives).

I *did* say that we MAY call her to watch Boo if we needed the extra body here - but I doubt we will, there will be enough people here to take care of his needs as it is, but it seemed a nice way to make her feel better, and did give me the option of calling on her if the need does arise.
post #50 of 147
Laurie, the advice some people get just makes me so sad. I have a neighbor who just had a baby 2 weeks ago. Her OB made a big deal about having the baby be born before it gets "too big" so it would be less painful (this is her 1st). Well, of course that all scared her. So she consented to be induced at 38 weeks. It took 2 days of laying in the hospital on pitocin before she finally went into labor. Well she got to 5 cm and her OB told her that there was no way she'd be able to do vaginal b/c she could already feel the head pointing. So she got a ceasarean. Well, the baby was just over 8lbs, not that odd esp. since the momma is quite a plus-sized momma. I just felt so bad for her and the advice she got. I haven't shared what I think of what happened to her of course b/c I don't want to hurt her. She's already been through so much.

The comment that I get the most is people saying things like "should you really be picking him up" about ds. My ds is VERY active and will suddenly dart off in some direction no matter where we are. I'm not exactlly going to just let him. I chase after him, pick him up, and try to distract him. I might be 32 weeks preggo, but I still have to keep the one I already have safe! I also get the "wow, you're REALLY going to have your hands full" comment and it's not said very nicely!
post #51 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by lena_girl
I also get the "wow, you're REALLY going to have your hands full" comment and it's not said very nicely!

"If you think my hands are full - you should see my heart"
post #52 of 147
oh, liza! what a PERFECT answer! you must be a diplomat...

that's worthy of being a sig line!

and how strange about that neighbor... well, i know i got to my first ten births by just offering to help every pregnant lady i met. most of 'em said no thanks, but a few had very little support and were grateful for the offer. but i was there as help, not just to sit and watch the show.

off to run errands today. hot hot hot out there... over 90. thank goodness for a/c!

k
post #53 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamuraiEarthMama
oh, liza! what a PERFECT answer! you must be a diplomat...

that's worthy of being a sig line!
Shhh - it is, that's where I saw it. I don't remember what board it was on though, or whose it was. But it struck a chord with me.
post #54 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamuraiEarthMama
and how strange about that neighbor... well, i know i got to my first ten births by just offering to help every pregnant lady i met. most of 'em said no thanks, but a few had very little support and were grateful for the offer. but i was there as help, not just to sit and watch the show.
Yeah, I wish I could have done something or known about it before hand so I could at least give her some advice (even if it was just brushed off) Unfortunately I didn't know and it happened while I was gone on vacation.

So how do you guys tactfully talk to a preggo mom when you find out that they are planning or agreeing to do something like that? I'd like to have some ideas in case I ever run into someone who I could help.
post #55 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by lena_girl
So how do you guys tactfully talk to a preggo mom when you find out that they are planning or agreeing to do something like that? I'd like to have some ideas in case I ever run into someone who I could help.
Well, I never offer suggestions or advice unless they ask for it. However I ask questions that might open the door for a discussion. Like if a mom tells me her doctor thinks she is too small to birth vaginally I ask "How does that make you feel" or "What do you think about that" As a doula it's not my job to change someone's mind or place my own beliefs about birth on them. But I have strong feelings about letting woman know that they do have rights and choices and to not be afraid to let thier voice be heard. I want every woman to listen to her body and her own intuition. God gave us instincts, we have to just trust ourselves to use them.
There are some woman who truely could care less how thier birth go's or what interventions are performed. They would rather have someone else make all the choices for them and they are ok with that. But for many of us "Choice" is everything We just want to be talked to with respect and have procedures explained in full and then given the opportunity to agree or disagree and be respected for the choice we make.
post #56 of 147
Got a call today from the nurse at my OB's office right before I was leaving for the ultrasound appointment.........seems the lab made a mistake and I don't have the Fifth's Disease antibodies in my blood after all. Thank God because I really didn't have a plan of action once we were finished at the u/s office. Also, I found out that I passed the glucose test just fine. Big fat WHEW today................I guess this week is going to be ok after all.
post #57 of 147
Hi Girls!

I've missed you! We were away over the weekend. Went to the beach with the ILs. Had a nice time, but it was really lousy out and raining the whole time. Still, DS got even more attention than normal of course, and now he's stuck with boring old mommy and daddy again.

Had an OB appointment today. Everything is fine, thank the universe. Measuring fine, etc. And the baby has MOVED-which was nice to hear. Up until today the babe was lying across my belly (transverse)-which is not unusual at all, but of course my pregnant mind started to worry. It all seems so REAL to me now. I have 2 more bi-weekly appointmens and then I start every week. It's the homestretch for most of us now. I will be 32 weeks on Thursday and it BLOWS my mind how fast this pregnancy has flown by.

I just skimmed some of the posts. Where's AP? I might have missed one of her posts, though.

And Liza-I love your last pic of your DS kissing your belly. Too sweet. I gotta be faster to the camera for DS's lovey belly moments.

And I, too, have gotten the weird advice/comments from strangers. Someone said to me, "For your sake I hope your next one is not a boy". She was pointing at my very spirited DS as she said this. Yes, my boy is full of energy, and exasperating at times, but I wouldn't change a thing. Two boys would be just lovely! I should have been able to come up with something clever to say to her in response, but my prego brain wasn't working that day.

Girl-So happy that the lab actually made a mistake in your FAVOR. This rarely happens. One less worry for you, Girl!

AP-Oh, there you are! Sorry you weren't feeling well.

I'll check in later. Missed you all!
post #58 of 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsmama
And Liza-I love your last pic of your DS kissing your belly. Too sweet. I gotta be faster to the camera for DS's lovey belly moments.
I admit it was something of a set-up ! *L*

DH was taking pictures anyhow, so we got Boo to come over and asked him where our baby is - he pokes my belly. Ask if he wants to give baby a hug - he does. Then ask if he wants to give baby a kiss - CLICK !!
post #59 of 147
I give a lot of advice - I'm on a mission...women need to take back control of their bodies. Somehow, the feminist movement really only focused on a small group of women. Once you get past the right to an abortion and equality in the work place it really doesn't do a whole lot for women. I mean, how many women don't have the CHOICE of staying home because we have become a dual income society. That's not just inflation. Great if you choose a career etc but there has to be a better balance. One of the things I do is give women Ina May's Childbirth, or Henci Goers A Thinking Women's Guide to newly pg moms or those who are struggling with decisions. I either lend them mine or get them their own copy. Also, few women have had any support from family or friends and rarely take a childbirth class. If they do it is often the one offered by the hospital. I try and tell them to stay home as long as possible, go to their Dr. before the hospital. Don't check in until they are about 5 cm. Just little seeds to plant in their head - active labour vs. early labour. About the crazy things your brain can do when in transition, and as mentioned before TRUST their instincts. Just because someone went to med school does not make them all knowing - as I say they are not born from a golden womb. It's taken some practice to be informative without being pushy but I don't believe women are getting enough information to make informed decisions. That's all I want and I make that clear - Hey, I know this is a confusing time but I am here to talk so you have the whole picture. I want this to be your birth and you need to be in control. Tell your Dh what is important to you and make sure he is your advocate. If he doesn't feel up to the challenge maybe you should consider asking another person to be there with you to help you meet your needs. Drs. and nurses have a lot of patients and they are used to telling people what to do because they are unprepared to make decisions. Just be sure you are the one making the decisions and that they are informed one.

Good friends get it shoved down their throats more but some have come to appreciate it. One was dying to be induced, that's what happened last time so why not do it again. Well, everytime i saw her I just reminded her how good it was for the baby and that the kid would come when ready. When she had the baby it was 4 hours and only 6 minutes of pushing. I was bummed when she told me she had an epidural - not because she chose it but because the nurse told her she was 8 cm and if she didn't get it then she couldn't have one at all!! I HATE when they do that to women. Of course, going/in transition is such a suggestive time - why didn't the nurse offer to help her change positions (she sat in bed the whole time) or get her in the shower...oh - that would have been too much work!

Stepping down from soap box

Plugging away here. I am very tired, yesterday I was having back-to-back BH, some more intense than that; woke up with them so it made for a long day. It's just fatiguing for your belly to be the tight all day long. Some even took my breath away. Wow - it's going to be a long 2 months!! We leave for the beach on Tuesday and my mom and sister are coming with us so that should help give me a bit of time off my feet. Dh has a conference up there, Ocean City, MD, so we decided to turn it into a vacation.

28th Birthday tomorrow - I never thought I would be married before I was 30 let alone with 3 kids! Life takes it own course.

DS has been great it's time to go give him some attention!
post #60 of 147
girlfactory: Wow, I had two links to send to you today on the 5ths disease topic. I am glad everything worked out. How is it that they make mistakes like that. If they had not caught it, they were going to put you through so many unnessasary interventions and your baby too after birth. Sorry, I'm glad they caught the mistake, but I am of the mindset that mistakes like that shouldn't even happen. Urgh!

ketilave: Right on. I just want woman to have informed decisions.

Bears: So good to hear from you. How many more weeks with the cast for your son?

Liza: we have tried to snap a picture kinda the same way when asking DD to hug or kiss the baby, somehow she always see's the camera and starts acting silly. We are supposed to take professional pictures Mid July Belly pics with DD and DH I hope they turn out good. This lady at sears has been taking my DD's picture since she was born so my daughter responds well with her. It's my hubby being there that will put a kink in things with my DD.

Woke up at 3:00 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Then my tummy started growling and I tried not to give in but I ended up getting myself a bowl of cereal and milk. First time to give into the late night or early morning snack thing. It must have been what I needed cause when I was done, I went to bed and right to sleep until 6:00.
I have my midwife apt. on Thursday. I am looking forward to seeing her. I have lots of questions to ask and I have completely revamped my Birth Plan and want to discuss it with her. I also have my Hospital tour Monday Evening. I am hoping all go's well there too. I have so many questions. I am with you Bears. I can't believe how close we are to the end and seeing how close we are to the once a week apointments makes it really come into focus.
For most of the pregnancy I have had a feeling that I would go late. But the feeling lately is that she will come early. She has moved to a head down position and I am feeling low pressure and lot's of cramping. I can palpate and feel her back right down the center of my belly and her butt and inch or so above my belly button. It's so cool! I think I got bit by the anxious bug. I am not tired of being pregnant or anything, just getting really excited about meeting the new baby.
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