UC Support Thread #5, June

[cottonwood]

Mamas, it's June! We're on our fifth thread and 775th post!

UC thread #1
UC thread #2
UC thread #3
UC thread #4

Here's the roll call again: (again, let me know who I'm missing, please, or if any info is wrong or should be added, and I'll edit)

andrea88 -- UC 8/03 story
Aurora -- UC 10/03 story
Whit -- UC 11/03 story
2much2luv -- UC 1/04
thechrysalis -- UC 1/04 story
Mothernature -- UC 1/04 story
indigolilybear -- UC 3/04 pics
citizenfong -- UC 3/04 pics
Carrieanders -- UC 4/04
Chaka Falls -- UC 4/04
amyamanda -- UC 5/04 story
Karenpl -- UC 6/04 story
bookwormmama -- UC 6/04
wildthing -- desired UC, non-managed birth, midwife present story
grnbn76 -- June
Hathor -- EDD June 11th
Mamajaza -- mid summer
luna13mama -- EDD July 1st
Chandar -- July
Klothos -- EDD July 10th
ChildoftheMoon -- mid July
madrone -- August
Oshunmama -- EDD August 26th
JesseMomme -- August/September (first UC 11/02, story here)
violet -- August/September
StacyL -- mid September
4xmamamia -- September
mellie-bellie -- EDD September 16th
lovemygirl -- mid to late September
blueviolet -- late September (first UC 7/01, story here)
DancerMom -- late November
Ame -- first half of December
laurata -- December (first UC 3/02, story here)
Lula's Mom -- December
Dandylion -- January/February 2005
mehndi mama -- late February 2005

[bookwormmama]

waaaaa, help me stay strong mamas!

Ok, bit of a whiney vent here.

I just need some encouragement! I am 41 weeks tomorrow, and this is the longest i have ever been pregnant. This has also been my hardest pregnancy, go figure.


Babe is still movin' and groovin' , but has definately less and more active periods right now. I'm just starting to be (yeah right, ~starting~) an emotional basket case.

Please just remind me that i won't be pregnant forever!!

[ChildoftheMoon]

Sue hang in there! That babe is almost ready. Relax and enjoy your last moments. Sending you good birth vibes! And no, you won't be pregnant forever!

Thank you Linda for starting up the thread up again. I have been in major lurk mode.

I am feeling good, 6.5 weeks till d-day so getting close. Still thinking this baby will come a bit early, (am I jinxing myself ?) Baby is getting lots of hiccups and feels lower in my pelvis already. Just started having a hard time staying comfortable at night. Getting VERY excited about the birth and meeting my new babe. I can't wait to nurse a wee one again. I am still nursing (milkless) my 2.5 year old.

Hope all is well with all you wonderful ladies!
Brandi

[bookwormmama]

Thanks Brandi!

And this next month and half will be by so fast for you too!

I too am excited about nursing again. My 3 yo ds weaned during this pregnancy, but i fully anticipate him asking to nurse again. He still loves the babas!

[Aurora]

Lurking here. I had an UC in October 2003. Ds is now 7 months old.

I just wanted to give 's to all the mamas and babes.

[cottonwood]

Aurora, is your birth story up somewhere?

[luna13mama]

can you add me to the list? EDD July 1st! thanks

[Aurora]

Originally Posted by blueviolet

Aurora, is your birth story up somewhere?

I posted it in my birth month thread when baby was born but I just posted it in the Birth Stories.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=152779

[mellie-bellie]

Add me to the list too! I'm Melissa, and due with #3 around Sept 16th. I had 2 great (but long) homebirths that were attended by a midwife, but this time I'm preparing for a UC. I haven't done any "prenatal" care this time around, but I'm thinking of going to check with a local midwife, just to get measured and to hear the baby's heartbeat...I have a HUGE hunch that I'm carrying twins, and need to know that before I go ahead with the UC. If I happen to be carrying 2 babes, I don't know if that'll steer me off the UC path.

For you veteran UC'ers, were there any books you read that you feel are a must-read for an expectant UC'er? Also, what was in your birth kit? Mentally, I feel ready for this, but I do want to make sure I feel prepared for the big day, just so it doesn't sneak up on me.

[cottonwood]

My birthkit is pretty basic. Clean towels and something sterile to cut and tie off the cord.

I've been re-reading Marilyn Moran's book Pleasurable Husband/Wife Childbirth, mainly for the birth/sex viewpoint. She doesn't really go into preparation for UC, more the justifications for UC (some of which are brilliant) and then a large part of the book is devoted to her ideas about why UC fits with Christianity, which are interesting, but if you're not Christian are going to be mostly irrelevant.

But frankly, nothing that is a must-read, no. (I have yet to read Laura Shanley's book, though, I've got to get on that!) Mostly the things that I've found inspiring I've gotten off the internet.

[Victorian]

hope you don't mind me butting in here!

I am not an UCer but I wanted to share with you all something that my dd (5) said the other day

She was walking around pretending to be pregnant. I ask her if she was having a homebirth (she was at her brothers homebirth). She said yes. I asked if she was having a midwife. She said no. I said Are you sick do you need to see a doctor? She said no, me and my husband are doing it alone!

Made me laugh. I did talk to dh once about not having any attendants. She must have thought it sounded like a good idea!

Victorian

[SamuraiEarthMama]

just popping in to let you all know karenpl had her baby today... a little girl, around 5:45 p.m., at home, outdoors! i'm sure she'll come and post her story... but if you want to send her good wishes, you can visit her online journal:

Karen's Journal

thought you'd like to know!

katje

[LavenderMae]

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Karen.
Welcome baby!!!!

[mollyeilis]

downer of a message, BUT I'm *all* for UC now...

To anyone who was wondering what happened with me (I can't recall if I posted here), I wanted to thank you for your help. This post is getting a bit sniffly and teary, and I do apologize for that, but I wanted to come in here to update and let you know how smart you all were and how unbrilliant I was.

I should have listened to the advice I got here, we shouldn't have called the midwives, I should have sent them home countless times.

After 2 attempts by them to STOP or SLOW labor so I could "get some sleep", my nice, slow, steady, manageable-feeling labor went "too slow" (but I couldn't get sleep, unlike they promised I would as they handed over the herbs, then denied had been said when I was freaking out).

They judged me and my labor, judged how vocal I was (I was talking too much, they told my aunt... talking myself "out of labor"...can one DO that?) or rather how UNvocal I was (I breathed silently rather than mooing like they wanted me to do), they did internals on me, they checked the heartrate and my BP every 1/2 hour, they bothered me when I needed quiet, they went to sleep when I needed them. They separated DH and me (we were SO tired we couldn't even argue when they would send him to bed, and he would cry himself to sleep b/c he wanted to be with me so much), they wouldn't let my aunt in the room (and didn't tell me she wanted to be in the room with me, nor did they tell her that I wanted her there). Awful awful awful.

They "massaged" my membranes, she borderline stretched my cervix, she always had her hands up there. Yes, I consented, but I was SO tired and she didn't want to hear NO. I've found that even midwives have ways of creating consent, even when everyone in the room knows that the thing that is being done was not something that the mother agreed on in ANY way, shape, or form beforehand.

Then at long last they talked me into putting castor oil on my cervix AND breaking my waters (which had been wonderfully unbroken into 96 hours of labor), of course they found meconium. I got up to shower and continue contracting since I thought they knew meconium was not a sign of a problem, but something that can sometimes go along with an already-existing problem, and it turns out they took that time to bully DH and aunt into bullying me into the hospital because of it.

Where I finally went (they were all going to abandon me if I didn't, what could I do? I was SO tired.), where they called the OB side of the hospital's birth center rather than the midwife side (as they KNEW I wanted them to do), they gave the hospital my name so I couldn't even sneak over to the midwives, and then they went completely turncoat on me and suggested I follow the OB's insistence on a c-section. This was because of "decelerations". Decelerations that no one was in the room for, thanks to continuous monitoring (we fought it).

So no one was in the room watching me bend over with every contraction, taking the monitor off my belly slightly, causing the 140 hb to be 120, then as soon as I'd stand back up or push the monitor closer (while leaning over) it would go right back up. Because no one was in the room, no one believed me, and no one cared what the silly little mother had to say.

They then agreed with the OB when he said the baby was well over 9 lbs, when no one had said ANYTHING like that EVER. I *wanted* a big baby, but anyone who felt my belly could tell it wasn't that big.

So instead of a wonderful home birth with should-have-been-trusted midwives, I got a c-section.

The baby coughed as he was taken out (there went the aspiration concerns), cried heartily and lustily (he didn't do the wavery cry, he was belting it out like Whitney Houston), and he was 7 lbs 12 oz. Hardly a big baby.

You can add me to the list of unassisted birthers for next time, should I ever get over my desperate fears (caused by the midwives and their handling of my transition) and get pregnant again.


Thank you for your help as I went into labor, and know that I wish I'd have listened to you brilliant women.

[cottonwood]

Oh Molly, I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

[LavenderMae]

Molly Congratulations on having your little one in your arms now!!
I am very sorry you had such bad care, truly sorry.

[Aura_Kitten]

Molly! s i am so sorry to hear about that.

[alexisyael]

((((((((Molly))))))))))

[mollyeilis]

Thank you.

Today Robert fielded a phone call from the "elder" midwife, and she will be coming to our place (alone) on Monday, with the notes. He said she sounded very surprised at all the interventions and so on that happened. That's good, I guess...

OK, back to happy UC stories!

[JesseMomme]

(((((((molly))))) I was wondering when I'd see you post again and had been wondering how you were doing. I'm so sorry that that is what happened. I know your beating yourself up but please allow yourself time to heal and grieve - we're not here to say "I told you so".
Congratulations on your sweet baby boy! I just love his name Welcome to the world Eamon!