Fellow Co-sleepers: Plans for new baby's sleeping arrangements?

[Bearsmama]

Hi everyone,
We've co-slept with DS (28 mos) since birth. Never wanted to sleep in our Arm's Reach co-sleeper and although we own a crib, it has never been slept in.

Now that I am 9 weeks away from giving birth to baby #2, I am wondering what our sleeping arrangements will be like. Our bedroom is an odd-shape and would not easily enable us to try the co-sleper again. We are considering putting the crib in our bedroom and seeing if the baby wants to sleep there during those times that I will need to put him/her down for a bit. I also was just given a gently used Moses basket and I'm wondering how I can use this?

I know that the new baby will most likely sleep with us in our bed, but I'd like to hear what the alternatives are-especially when you have an acrobatic toddler already in the family bed (DS does have his own "special bed" in his room, but has only slept there for a few hours here and there. And we haven't pushed it ever).

So, What are YOUR plans for the new baby's sleeping arrangements? Are you setting up something different this time around? Are you concerned about co-sleeping with more than one child? Any suggestions for me?

TIA for your input.

[naturegirl]

Well this will be our first so sorry, no advice on the toddler and new baby sleeping arrangements...

We have a convertable crib in our room already set up in the "daybed" position. Or the co-sleeper position. We are going to push that up next to our bed and use it when we need a little extra room. It looks like it will work well and we are using some foam between the bed and crib where there is a very slight gap so the baby won't get any arms or legs stuck inbetween.

I am sure the baby will be in our bed with us about 90% of the time but my mil REALLY wanted to buy us a crib so this should work I think.

Any advice for a first timer?

Cheryl

[SamuraiEarthMama]

we had a futon on pallets, so we were only like 8 inches from the floor. when a new baby arrived, we moved the toddler to a sleeping bag or pile of blankets on the floor... they would be in arm's reach, but not kicking around on the bed with us. i don't know if you can translate this into your situation though...

i also saw a mom make a special little tiny "bedroom" out of their closet for their toddler... a nice nest of pillows and blankets that was just for the toddler, close to mom and dad but still not kicking the baby...

good luck!

katje

[Bearsmama]

Naturegirl-First, Congrats! Although I am OF COURSE thrilled about baby #2, there is something sort of magical that happens with your first pregnancy. At least for me. I was in a state of euphoria quite a bit.

Back to the topic at hand. My only advice is to really be open to YOUR BABY'S preferences for sleeping. Although we knew we wanted to be close to our baby while sleeping, we really thought that he would just naturally sleep where we *thought* he should. At the time, where we thought he would sleep was in the co-sleeper. Well, he wanted to sleep from day one smack dab in the middle of us. And that was fine, but it just wasn't OUR original plan. And you know what they say about the best laid plans. May seem like a minor thing, but I think with the first, even if you THINK you're open to what your baby might want, you still have in your head somewhere your preferences.

Okay, probably TMI. Best wishes to you. And I'm sure others will reply with their experiences and they may help you, too!

[Bearsmama]

Thanks, Katje!

[mommycaroline]

We're planning on setting up the crib sidecarred and letting baby sleep in the crib with our older daughter between DH and I. I've vaguely entertained the notion of having DD sleep on her own mattress, but she's just not ready yet, and I don't want to evict her when her whole world is going to turn upside down in just 2 short months.

I've seen other ideas though, that could be useful. Toddler bed at the foot of the big bed, lowering the big bed to the floor and adding mattresses wherever you have space. Too bad your cosleeper won't work for you again. I've thought about getting one myself, but I hear they outgrow them rather quickly, and I thought the crib might last longer. Plus, it would be nice to actually get some use out of our crib this time around.

[Solange]

I have no real set plans...like you said Bears-I cannot have set expectations....... just going to wait and see how it all comes about.
Ds has been sleeping with me again and dh sleeps in ds's twin bed so I am thinking that possibly I may end up in the twin with the baby and dh and ds in the queen.
Don't know....
My mom just bought us a moses basket too..I plan on using that to have a comfy place to put baby while ds and I play in other parts of the house. A mobile bed so to speak...when I am not slinging and need my hands free.

sorry I am not any better help....

[Jillybean]

well we recently pushed a twin bed up to our queen to make more room. Ds starts the night in the twin but sometime during the night he and dh switch spots b/c ds wants to be near me. So all we can figure to do is start the baby between dh and I and when ds moves over I'll put the baby between the wall and I. Lol, did that make sense? Basically I think we will be doing a bit of shuffling during the night. Although, I do like Ap's idea of going to the twin with the baby, may have to try that. Like the rest of you we'll just have to wait and see how it all works out! Hope you figure something out Bears.

[Lisa Lubner]

as salaam alaykum

i'm on baby number three... and what we did was put my oldest on a futon on the floor next to our bed a few months before my second was born... he had just turned two at the time and was pretty much weaned at that point and sleeping through the night. he has since moved into his "big boy bed" in his own room. now that baby number three is almost here, we are starting to put our second baby on the futon next to the bed to make room for the new nursling. our second will share a room with our first as soon as she's ready.

i had a moses basket with my first... it was very helpful... it had handles so i could pick her up in the basket and move her from room to room if i needed to. she also like being picked up and rocked in it.

[Trishy]

I'm not sure what we are going to do. Right now ds co sleeps about 3/4 of the time. Dh sleeps in his own room and ds sleeps in his toddler bed at the foot of my bed when he is not in bed with me. I am getting ready to go spend some time with my mother so he will be co sleeping the entire time we are there. When we come home we may (hopefully) be moving to a bigger place and I would like to begin to get ds to sleep in his own room once we do. But I worry that he will think I am pushing him away for the new baby. I plan to start the baby out for the night in the bassinette and move him to the bed the first time he wakes to be fed. Right now I am thinking that I will get a bedrail to put on the outside of the bed and keep ds on the wall side, where he has been sleeping all along. I know I am no help because I am absolutely confused about what I will do, I'm just playing it by ear right now.

[Bearsmama]

Ladies-Thank you, thank you for sharing your experiences on this one. And your concerns. I worry b/c although I've THOUGHT about it, we haven't made any real moves to make things a bit better for us when baby #2 arrives. For instance, we got DS a twin bed about 4 months ago and on and off we've started him out sleeping in that bed. It's maybe happened 7 or 8 times in the months that we've had the twin. On those occasions, DS has made his way into our bed about 3-4 hours into the evening. SO, I guess I've just realized that I can't FORCE anything, really. I can't make DS suddently think it's a grand idea to sleep for most of the evening in his own bed.

Mommycaroline-We've thought about putting the previously unused crib into our bedroom. I don't think (with our bedroom's shape) that we could sidecar it (same prob as the co-sleeper), but just having it in the room for those nights when DS is particularly acrobatic or having nighttime issues.

AP-I'm looking forward to using the moses basket. With DS#1, when I needed to take a shower or something I would put DS in his carseat and lug him up the steps. It was not the best thing and the moses basket seems like it will fit against my body-kinda like an ergonomically correct laundry basket-like mold to my hip.

Jillybean-I already feel like nighttime with my 28 mos is so challenging (actually just getting to sleep, he has done well in recent months with sleeping solidly). So, I am a little worried about more shuffling, although I know it's inevitable.

Lovemylittles-Thanks for sharing-you are one child ahead of me and I appreciate all the wisdom you can share!

Trishshack-It's nice to know we're not the only ones who are winging things. I don't know why I'm so worried b/c I know it will all somehow work out. But I'm sure there will be the inevitabel chaos. I feel that we have just recently gotten into a nicer sleeping pattern with DS, so who knows??

Hey, and this one may be a bit OT (just a bit, really), but when you have one in the bed already, and the newborn comes, how do you prevent your first child from waking when the newborn cries, etc? If we were in separate rooms, I wouldn't worry. And actually DS is a fairly sound sleeper, but I know a crying newborn could wake just about anyone. Any thoughts?

[Trishy]

Hey, and this one may be a bit OT (just a bit, really), but when you have one in the bed already, and the newborn comes, how do you prevent your first child from waking when the newborn cries, etc? If we were in separate rooms, I wouldn't worry. And actually DS is a fairly sound sleeper, but I know a crying newborn could wake just about anyone. Any thoughts?

I think the older child will grow accustomed to the baby's night cries and learn to sleep through them. A newborn cries so much quieter than a 2 or 3 year old does that I am really hoping this will be the case.

[mommycaroline]

Perish the thought, Bears! I'm in serious denial about that one. I'm absolutely convinced DD will sleep right through whatever snuffling and fussing we experience.

Actually, I'm kind of hopeful that this new baby is much like DD was when she was a newborn. Once we mastered side-lying and nursing, I hardly woke again. DD never was one to cry through the night, nor did she ever wet a diaper (can you believe that???) so no diaper changes. We did get up for the first month or so and change her diaper during the night, but mainly because we thought we were "supposed" to. Once we figured out that nobody was checking on us, that quickly stopped! And, nursing can be so instinctive for mom and for babe that with any luck it will only take a snuffle or two to get us together. I don't recall waking that much with Bonnie, and she sleeps like a log now, so I'm pretty hopeful (and a little realistic) that she'll sleep through. If things are different, well, we'll have to reevaluate then, but there might be some motivation for her to leave the room at that stage. It might end up being *her* idea, which would be fine by me.

[LaLa]

I didn't read all the replies (sorry_) but just wanted to add that bella didn't sleep in a cosleeper until I got her a nice little hand knit unbleached wool blankie to first nurse her on and then transfer her into the co-sleeper. She loved it and it worked great and it has since become her comfort item!


I'd give it a try! It has to be wool to hold the warmth and help wick the moisture away from baby during sleep.
And I'd strongly recommend organic wool as it will be undeniably softer on the baby skin!

[magemom]

we have 2 twins on the floor in our room right now. Hopefully one of my kids will sleep on that
when we brought baby #4 home I had a bedrail on my side of the bed and ds2 slept in between DH and me or on DH. Now he floats all over and ds3 sometimes sleeps in his own bed in my room. Last night for example he snuggled me for a few minutes then got up and stayed all night in his own twin. He did wimper in the night and I went to him, but he wasn't interested in leaving his bed.
Ideally with this one I would have a sidecar so there is some safe place for baby. I would have it set so it is a few inches higher than our mattress so if a big brother were in bed and somehow got on that side there would be a lip to keep him from getting into the sidecar.
I also want a king sized bed.

[momsmyjob]

Right now I'm co-sleeping with 3 boys and we've reached out max. The baby never woke the others I usually got up and left the room at night if I thought the baby might wake them. This time I'm going to try the arms reach unless I can get my 4 yo in his own bed.


*adding sorry to jump in on your thread, just thought I'd share

[MamaDaednu]

I don't think I could comfortably sleep with more than one child. DH and I don't sleep together due to his loud snoring. I'm a very light sleeper. He and DS (2 1/2) sleep together in DS's room.
It's been BEAUTIFUL watching the difference in them since they started sleeping together. It's been about 4 months now and their relationship went to a whole new level when they started co-sleeping. I feel bad they missed out on it before when I got to have all the baby-in-the-bed lovin'.
However when DH goes to work in the morning (6-7am) he brings DS in and plops him in the toddler bed beside mine. We'll be continuing this when the baby comes. DS doesn't like to wake up alone in the morning and I will never force him to. Interestingly - he's totally fine with waking up from a nap on his own.
So baby girl will be sleeping with me in the bed. I'm not even going to attemp a crib or bassinet unless she really doesn't like co-sleeping.

~Daednu

[Bearsmama]

Hi-
Trishshack-I am hoping you're right about the newborn not waking my toddler. I remember those newborn cries and although they seemed loud at the time, they are nothing compared to a 2 year old's cries!

Caroline-I am hoping that baby #2 for me is a lot like your baby #1 was for you! DS had a number of sleep challenges even though I was doing all the "right" thing for him-co-sleeping, nursing while laying sideways & trying to sleep, etc.

Lala-We tried the smell-association thing with DS#1, didn't work. Maybe this one will like different spots, though. Especially with a warm blanket or something with mommy scent on it-like one of my t-shirts or something like that.

magemom-You are the wise woman here! I still feel so new at this sometimes and it's nice to get the bedtime/co-sleeping encouragement.

momsmyjob-You are also one of the wise women here! Any BTDT support is always appreciated. Three boys in one bed-whew! If your sons are anything like mine, and acrobats, well, nighttime at your house must be quite exciting!

Daednu-Sounds like you have a good set-up. My DH snores, also, and if I am not asleep before he is I can't get to sleep. Interestingly enough, DS seems to LIKE DH's snoring. Seems to be one of those things he so associates with daddy. And now, he'll say (just like mama), "Daddy, can you please stop snoring?". It's just too funny. I know we'll figure something out. Even if I have to leave the big bed to go to the twin with the baby. Whatever. After #1, I feel like I have to leave myself open to possibilities. Not like those possibilities don't worry me somedays, but I'm open.

Thanks again, ladies. Keep it coming.

[LaLa]

moreso then smell association, the trick with her blankie was not the scent, but the fabric. Because it was wool, it helped to hold in her warmth and wick away the moisture so that when I moved her to a cold baby bunk, it didn't cause a stir. Make sense? We also tried this with cotton blankies and it never worked. There was some magic in that wool I tell ya!
:LOL

[juju]

we have a twin and full size bed pushed together. we did have twin bunk bed pushed against the full size. but i was on the bottom bunk and too hot, plus it was getting harder to get in and out.

once we moved the bunkbed to the kid's room/ play room. my son, 5 years, was interested in sleeping in it again. he sometimes stays in it all night and other times comes to our big bed during the night. we also have a 2 year old sleeping in the big bed. i plan to just add the baby to the mix between me and the wall.