I am almost 100% positive I am going to switch to a homebirth at 38 weeks pregnant! - Page 2

[georgia]

Yeah . I'm so glad you've found peace! Your options sound great. I hope you do lots of affirmations of yourself and your abilities. It's such a positive time!

Happy, happy, happy birthing

[Bestbirths]

This reminds me of something Harriet Hartigan said "Birth is as safe as life gets". Have a wonderful Birth, mama! Sending positive birth vibes your way!

[Fluffy Peanut]

Thanks, ladies!

Something that is bothering me though is that no one knows of ours plans to possibly stay home to birth. My mom has been calling me every couple of days to check on me and I feel really bad that she doesn't know. I don't really like having this secret. The problem is, I'm not sure I want my dad to know about it because early in my pregnancy he said, "You aren't gonna try to do it at home again, are you?" I know that he's just showing fatherly concern. He doesn't know that much about childbirth and just assumes, like most Americans, that the hospital is the safest place to give birth. When I answered his question with, "I don't know" (I did, but didn't feel like getting into a big ole' discussion about it), he said, "Well, your mother gave birth to all of her children in the hospital with no problems". Just goes to show how little he knows about childbirth. So, while I know my mom would be supportive, I'm not sure my dad would and I just wouldn't want him to worry unnecessarily. I also wanna tell my SIL (my brother's wife) really bad, but I know that if I tell her, the word will probably get around to my parents. It sucks having this secret! My mom said she might call me back tonight and I'm tempted to just tell her! I'm thinking that I would rather family knew of our plans to possibly stay at home (at least my family. There is no way I'd tell my MIL. She would totally freak out and I don't need that), rather than telling them after the fact that we decided to stay home. I guess I just want them to know what is going on. What do you guys think?

[georgia]

I've posted about this before, but here goes, in a nutshell....you can choose to frame it however works best for you. Instead of thinking you have this secret, you could choose to look at it like you're keeping it private--to best suit YOUR needs. To me, there's a big difference between secrecy and privacy. Your need for peace might override your need for communication. Only you know what's best for you in this situation. Again, it goes to instinct. You could ask yourself, WHY is this important to me? You might be surprised at what you find.

I'd look to YOUR needs first. Is it more important you share your plans beforehand or more important that you maintain the positive vibe you've got going on right now? What do YOU need right now and for your birth? It's really all about you right now. To meet your needs, first, figure out what they are, and go from there. Your parents are adults. They're responsible for their own feelings---not you. You are absolved of this burden

[Bestbirths]

ITA with Georgia. It's o.k. to have a private life and not everyone has to know all your business! :

[hazey]

You Rock!!!!

IT sounds to me that you are doing, you and your baby a justice well deserved!

I just know you'll have a beautiful homebirth surrounded by loving people and strong positive vibes!

Make sure you drink your raspberry tea and meditiate on positive thoughts!

[Electra375]

i have to share my story post with you. I think you will get a lot of positive vibes from them. My hba2c was the most awesome experience in my life thus far.
Sharing Successful HBA2C
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=130024
MY OB terminated my care -- ie no OB.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=107615

Truly the best vibes I can send are going out to you...

[mamasarah]

ugh, how frustrating that no matter how focused on having a natural VBAC you are that you are still under the hospital's rules, the hospital's care, etc. i think that if your instincts are telling you to stay home, then go for it. sounds like you have great help with your doula and the backup midwife.
good luck to you. you can do it! blessings for a wonderful birth.

[Mama J Rock]

Good Luck with your birth. It will help tremendously that you are at peace with your decision as it will lay the groundwork for your birth.

As for your parents, just think of it as if it's a Christmas present that you really want to tell them about beforehand but you know it will be even better if you wait and see their excitement on Christmas morning. If you wait until after the birth to tell them, they won't have to worry about it and you won't have to worry about them worrying which could somewhat wreck the peace you have found with your decision.

I hope you get everything you want out of your birth.

[Fluffy Peanut]

Thanks for the advice and support, ladies! I ended up telling my mom because it is important to me that she knows what our plans are. Turns out that she was really cool with it! She said that she knows things will work out the way we want them to this time, no matter where we give birth. It helps that they're Christian, as am I, and they have a lot of faith that God will protect us and give us the birth we desire. She commented that our son might even witness our birth if we give birth at home. I told her, "Yeah, and maybe you'll get to see it too" and she said, "That would be a neat thing to see". I love my mom and *knew* that she would be supportive! I knew because she's told me that she knows that what happened last time had nothing to do with the fact that it was an attempted homebirth. She knows it was just because the midwife told me to push before my body was ready to. She also knows how laboring at home is a good thing. She said she'd never seen anyone go through labor like I did. I was very calm and quiet, whereas every other woman she either knows or heard in the hospital while she was in labor would be moaning. Not that moaning is a bad thing, but she was just surprised at how calm and collected I was. No one, including me, could believe it when my midwife said I was 9 1/2 cm with a lip! I guess everyone, including me, expected me to be totally suffering and out of control during transition. The pain wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, so I was in awe when I found out that I was almost complete!!

Electra375 ~ Thanks for sharing your birth story with me! Congrats on having your HBA2C!! Good thing your OB was such an SOB and terminated your care! :LOL I LOVE the letter you sent to him!! :LOL