I read this short, happy nonfiction book recently and thought it was pretty useful so thought I'd give you a quick synopsis:
The author, a family psychologist, has come to the conclusion that people express and receive love in 5 main ways - he calls these "love languages."
1. Physical touch
2. Quality time
3. Words of affirmation
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts
He then claims that everyone has certain love languages they're more proficient in than others, and that most people have one primary love language. So fi yours is physical touch but your child's is words of affirmation, your child not *feel* loved even though you love him very much, because you're speaking your own language instead of his. The author suggests loving your kids in every language, but also figuring out your child's primary language and focusing most of your energy on that one. In this way, your child will *feel* as loved as he *is* loved.
I realized after reading this book that dh's primary language is acts of service. Now when he asks me to fix him a snack, instead of saying "What's wrong with your legs?" I do it gladly b/c I know it's not that he's lazy, it's that it makes him feel genuinely loved when I do acts of service for him. And my sister's is gifts. I never was a gift giver but now I try to send her a little inexpensive something regularly. It has really improved our relationship! NOt b/c she's materialistic but b/c she needs tangible evidence that you were thinking of her.
If you're interested in more details, you might see if your library has a copy of the book.
I thought how neat it is that breasfeeding provides so many of these all at once: touch, quality time, service, and a gift. We talk to our babies incessantly but those others sometimes get pushed by the wayside. With nursing, you're sure to cover all the bases while your kid is still tiny.
The author, a family psychologist, has come to the conclusion that people express and receive love in 5 main ways - he calls these "love languages."
1. Physical touch
2. Quality time
3. Words of affirmation
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts
He then claims that everyone has certain love languages they're more proficient in than others, and that most people have one primary love language. So fi yours is physical touch but your child's is words of affirmation, your child not *feel* loved even though you love him very much, because you're speaking your own language instead of his. The author suggests loving your kids in every language, but also figuring out your child's primary language and focusing most of your energy on that one. In this way, your child will *feel* as loved as he *is* loved.
I realized after reading this book that dh's primary language is acts of service. Now when he asks me to fix him a snack, instead of saying "What's wrong with your legs?" I do it gladly b/c I know it's not that he's lazy, it's that it makes him feel genuinely loved when I do acts of service for him. And my sister's is gifts. I never was a gift giver but now I try to send her a little inexpensive something regularly. It has really improved our relationship! NOt b/c she's materialistic but b/c she needs tangible evidence that you were thinking of her.
If you're interested in more details, you might see if your library has a copy of the book.
I thought how neat it is that breasfeeding provides so many of these all at once: touch, quality time, service, and a gift. We talk to our babies incessantly but those others sometimes get pushed by the wayside. With nursing, you're sure to cover all the bases while your kid is still tiny.
