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Is there room for "punishment" in GD? - Page 5  

post #81 of 89
6/14/04 at 11:58pm
Jesse,
See - that is why I love this place! You are SO right - my "rules" are very ambiguous - aren't they (at least to a three year old.) I've got to do some thinking about the alternatives you suggested and see if I can figure out something that works for us.

Thanks for giving me one of those lightbulb moments!

Jeanette
post #82 of 89
6/15/04 at 1:20am
lilyka, i want to be clear, if i wasn't before, that it is only with love that i wrote anything about your daughter. i don't know your family and i feel i may have been out of line, since you did not specifically ask for ideas. of course you know her best. :
post #83 of 89
6/15/04 at 3:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeanetteL
Jesse,
See - that is why I love this place! You are SO right - my "rules" are very ambiguous - aren't they (at least to a three year old.) I've got to do some thinking about the alternatives you suggested and see if I can figure out something that works for us.

Thanks for giving me one of those lightbulb moments!

Jeanette



So glad it helped!

Jesse
post #84 of 89
6/15/04 at 4:57am
Great discussion!

Being a real mom is so important. My dd and I have some really good exchanges about emotions and how to express and release them. When I raise my voice I apologize and explain. Sometimes, when I feel she might be in a receptive mood, I even tell her, "It's just that you're really pushing it, you know?" And she'll say, "I know." Mostly, though, I recognize that I'm raising my voice because I'm tired or anxious or irritated, and I make sure she knows that she is not the source of my negative emotions. Dialogue is so important.

Piglet - I have water issues, too. Mostly with dh, though, who walks around with wet hands! I think it comes from early, perhaps unconcious memories:My dad spanked me with a shower brush for splashing water on the bathroom floor. When my dd splashes a bit, I can feel myself tense up, but I am somehow able to ride that out. I do point it out, but calmly, "Look how the water is dripping down the side of the tub. We'll have to wipe that down when you're done, OK?" That's usually enough for me, just voicing and sharing my anxiety in a calm voice.
post #85 of 89
6/15/04 at 6:19am
I havent read the other comments so sorry if Im repeating I believe in resonable natural conquences. So say my toddler abuses one of her toys then she gets the toy taken away for a period of time. She throws food at the table the food is removed. ect.. Too me even a timout can fit into gentle discipline if used as a way for child and parent to regroup. I however see no way physical punishments such as spankings come into play with GD.

Deanna
post #86 of 89
6/22/04 at 3:36pm
Hmm.

Well, those of you that know me from these boards will know that I am against the "D" in "GD".

I just go with the "G"!

All too often I see or hear "reasoning" that turns D into P (unishment).


There is NO punishment in our house (and it is a mess, and I love it!).

But I have started to lurk here after a break. So you'll be hearing from me again!

a
post #87 of 89
6/22/04 at 4:36pm
Thread Starter 
alexander, how nice to see you again!
post #88 of 89
6/23/04 at 10:53am
a
post #89 of 89
2/20/05 at 5:18am
Bumping to mark to read and to say we're talking about this on a Vocabulary thread in GD.

Long thread, reading...
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