Would you breast feed someone elses child? - Page 5

[Sustainer]

I have done it, and would do it again.

I breastfed my niece, but I was careful to ask both of her parents first. They were fine with it. My niece seemed to be fine with it, too. Milk from the child's own mother is best of course, but second best is human milk from another healthy, drug-free mother. Milk from a different mammal, even if it's modified to be more like human milk, is a distant third.

[strawberryblonde]

When I was 6 weeks old, my parents went on a camping trip with his extended family. My Dad's sister was nursing her 1 yr old DD and Mom was exclusively bf me. Dad took Mom on a very long hike w/out me, she was leaking all over. My Aunt nursed me and I took just enough to cure the hunger because she wasn't Mom. My Mom might have been alittle jealous but she never let on when she would tell the story. Mom was thankful I didn't have to go hungry and she would not have been happy about a bottle. Five years down the road Mom was a wetnurse to her nephew (different Aunt) who was about 5 mths old. His Mom's milk was drying up (found out she was PG, later) and he was not tolerating formula, he was losing weight. They moved in with us for about 3 weeks so Mom could bf him (my sis was about 1). He gained weight and my Aunt felt less stressed so her milk came back just abit. This gave her time to find a formula he could handle and to start him on some solids. My Mom always did feel a little closer to that nephew over the others. When I was 12, a cat in the neighborhood abandoned her kittens. Our dog, who had never had puppies, mothered these kittens, even nursed them. She actually got milk. This is when I became convinced that adoptive mothers could bf. With all of this childhood background, it's no wonder I wouldn't mind bf another child. I wouldn't want another bf my newborn (the bond is too intense at that point) unless I absoluely couldn't, only to avoid formula. I would be open to someone taking over duties with an older toddler though . I have to really think to make sure that I don't lift my shirt for other babies, especially if they nuzzle.

[Wooby]

I agree with what some of the other mom have said. I would only do it if both mamas were close enough to be truly comfortable with the situation. Then again, as I type this, isn't it the babe whose needs should come first? If you had run out of EBM, I certainly think that nursing him would be your only option. Indeed, it would be much better than a cold plastic nipple in the first place!

I do have several friends who have nursed each others babes. They reported that it only worked for them before the age of about 4 months, then the babies only wanted mom!

Interesting topic...

[tracymom]

One of my IRL life friends had a baby due within a week of her sister's. They have a on/off sister relationship: close, but very competitive. My friend is the older and her sister was angry at her at first because she said "it's the first time in my life I'll have all Mama's attention, and you do this!" As it ended, the younger got preeclampsia and they took the baby nearly 8 weeks early, then my friend a month later had her baby 4 weeks early after a month and a half of bed rest.

The younger sister with the earlier preemie had to finger feed, then feed EBF and finally she learned to suck and eventually refused all bottles. The older sister, my friend, also struggled with BF (she had failed at BF with her older child) and succeeded beautifully. Neither one came to LLL with me more than once, but I kept them supplied with material and moral support as best I could (I had had my DS#2 and struggled through our BF relationship and they had witnessed all this).

My friend called me up to share something a few days after it happened. Her sister fell ill suddenly and her husband took her to the hospital while they left the baby with her mother. Baby was crying inconsolably, grandmother trying to feed a bottle, cup anything, and finally in desperation she called her other daughter, my friend, and asked if she would nurse her. She immediately agreed, though apprehensive about how it would work, mom brought her over and baby latched right on, ate up, and fell asleep happily!

My friend called me and told me that she had often wondered why they had gotten PG at the same time and had the fights and all, and it was while feeding her niece that she realized the purpose of it. She really felt that it had all led up to that moment when she was able to help her when nobody else could. I got tears in my eyes when she told me, it was so beautiful.....

[applejuice]

breast feed another mother's child?

It is called wetnursing.

One of the oldest professions in the world.

Women of lower classes often did this for pay for women who could not or would not breast feed their own child. It was a superior thing to do compared to giving the babe cow's or goat's milk, but of cours not as perfect as its own mother's milk which for a variety of reasons was not available.

Every mother is a working mother.

[seraph]

nursing another's babe

I would do it if we had had a discussion about it first and it was okay with both of us, but I don't think it's fair or right to nurse another mama's baby without her permission and I wouldn't want my baby nursed by someone else without a discussion beforehand. I'm not a mama yet (EDD 3/1/03) but I used to have a roommate who was a new mama and I would stay with her baby in the mornings when she went to the gym. Occasionally I would offer her baby my breast (I had permission) if she was unconsolable and she would pacify on me even though I didn't have any mik for her. Eventually the baby outgrew the need to suck quite so much and could be comforted in other ways, but it was a good experience all around while it lasted.
I like the idea of wet nursing, but in this culture we are pretty weird about bodily fluids, so there's not a lot of understanding "out there" for it.

[seraph]

thinking about my post

I've been thinking about my post above and I want to apologize for sounding judgemental for saying I didn't think it was right or fair to do without asking the baby's parents. I didn't really think about it in the context of an emergency or anything like that, I think in an emergency or even in a pinch, it's a very generous thing to do. I've been learning so much from all the mamas out there, parenting issues I've never even thought about. Thank you.

[Piglet68]

I have been enjoying reading this thread. Until I read the story about the daycare worker getting in trouble for feeding one of the babies in her care, I had never even thought about this issue. I was surprised that my first feeling upon imagining someone else nursing my baby was an intense jealousy and revulsion, like that of imagining my husband with another woman.

But I can get past that feeling, which I think is quite natural given the intense connection between mother and child. I know that wetnurses used to exist before formula, and that in some tribal societies it is common for women to nurse each others' babies.

And all I have to do is think about what I would rather have for my baby: I would much rather she get BM from somebody else than ever get formula.

Wonderful thread!

[MysticHealerMom]

I would do it in a heartbeat, if everyone was ok with it. I'd never presume, but after reading some of this, I didn't realize people would get jealous - I'm sensitive to that.

When I lost my babe, my milk came in and I had to bind my breasts w/a tight bra to make it go away. Sounds awful to say. And I was just so sad, I wished I could have just fed someones baby, even for a little while. I didn't think to ask at the hosp. It took weeks to get my breasts to stop leaking. It was an awful reminder and so uncomfortable. I wouldn't have expressed it, tho. That may sound uncharitable, but to me that just wasn't the point. And they say bf'ing helps with PPD. It makes me think of Like Water for Chocolate, where she willed her breasts to feed her sisters (?) baby, and she did. It's food and love, I think we have enough to share.

[flminivanmama]

MysticHealerMom - that reminds me of the end of Grapes of Wrath where she nurses the old man after her baby died.

[Ruth]

MysticHealerMom,

You are a saint to have wanted to nurse someone else's child when you lost yours.

Flminivanmama and MysticHealerMom,

Those are two TERRIFIC movies.

[MelMel]

I dont see the jealousy or intimacy aspect of it at all, i think thats making bf a 'private', ''uncomfortable'' act, that fosters the squeemish feelings society has towards it.

I would bf another child, and wouldn't mind if someone fed my dd. It has always been that way, in cultures and tribes, and even with wetnurses, as many have pointed out.

I love and adore my dd, but I dont see bf as a bonding, intimate, private act IN MY OPINION...i would never compare someone feeding my child to another woman being with my dh...(so help her)

I just see it as feeding my kid...I would rather (as should anyone) my child be fed on the breast, with human milk....as it should be.

maybe i'm not as mushy sweet as i should be...but i'm still a new mama, it may take awhile...

mammav, that sucks that even the LC couldnt and wouldnt help to support you and your child with tracking down colostrum or milk...ugh


i never saw like water for chocolate..i'll netflix it, it sounds good already...

[Sustainer]

Right in Every Way

I think bf is intimate bonding, but not in a way that has to be private like sex. I don't think there's anything wrong with another woman having an intimate bond with the child. You're right, she's just feeding the kid. It's a completely wholesome kind of bond, always positive and nourishing. It's an open, innocent intimacy, like friends hugging. It's about security and snuggling, as well as nutrition. It's warm and caring and the best way to express love. Sorry if this post is too fuzzy for you. : )

[Maribel]

Like it's been mentioned, it's very common in other countries. My sister (who's nearly 30 years older than I) fed one of her baby cousins when he was ill. My sister had loads of milk and was always leaking. When our aunt couldn't supply milk, her son went ill with the different types of milk they tried in those times. She was desperate and asked my sister to nurse him. My sister immediately did. She did for over a week, he got better and life went on. She now lives in the US and he still in Mexico, but they have a very close bond. Of course, not like mother and child, but there is definately something there. When we visit, he's always one of the first to come see her. Of course, he knows the story and that alone may be reason for his affection, but still, it's sweet.

So, yes, in a heartbeat, I'd nurse another baby if it was asked or needed.

[chiedza]

My friend and I have nursed each other's babies. A problem, arose, though, when my son began to prefer my friend's breasts! My letdown is really strong and sometimes gags him, so he liked to eat from her better. We had to stop for this reason.

[Axis]

I would without even having to ponder the idea, it seems very natural to me although I have never done it. The idea seems like one that would just seem logical.

I would also like to know that I would have a friend who would do the same for my baby if I was ever in an emergency and was separated from my baby. Of course it would be someone who's lifestyle I knew was similar to my own and that they were also comfortable in nursing my baby. I would think this would be the optimum situation. It would be like having a back up wet-nurse of sorts

[shematrix]

No. I haven't and never would. I would not want my daughter nursing from anyone elese either.

TM2

[ebaby]

TM2 what is it that bothers you about it? "no and Never would" is pretty definate. I was just wondering, not trying to offend you.


My sister and I have (as I posted before) and she is coming to visit this month and we plan to have her nurse for me so my dh & I can go out for an evening. (that may sound selfish but due to baby nursing schedule, not taking a bottle AT ALL it is the only way if we are gonna go anywhere for more than 3 hours especially at night)
Breast is always best in my opinion. I would only switch with family or someone like family. Mama-milk is a precious gift we give our children by design so it is always best to be mom with her own child. I would rather my sister nurse him than try and give him some man-made fomula.

K: BabyE'sMom

[Sustainer]

Milk from a human mother is better than cow milk.

According to the World Health Organization,

Breastfeeding is best;
The mother's own milk expressed and given to her child some other way is second best;
The milk of another human mother is third;
and artificial milk is a distant fourth.

"We need to keep this clear in our own minds and make it clear to others. 'The next best thing to mother herself' comes from a breast, not from a can. The free sample perched so enticingly on the shelf at the doctor's office is only the fourth best solution to breastfeeding problems."

--from:

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/8.../language.html

[Wooby]

Bravo!!!!