Bugging The Dog To No End

[Attached Mamma]

We don't have many "discipline" issues with our ds (27 months), but lately he has been non-stop bugging out dog (golden retreiver/newfie/chow mix) Chowder. He has never been "mean" to the dog since day one, and they have always gotten along great, and the dog is very mellow, never barks or growls at anyone (except other dogs). The last couple weeks, if our son isn't doing anything else, he will go over and start bugging him (playing with his ears, sitting on him, playing with his feet (which the dog hates), and I've found myself starting to yell at him, because he will not stop, I will say "leave Chowder alone", and he ignores me, and if I go pick him up and remove him he starts crying saying "I want to hug/kiss Chowder", because we always tell him "you can pet him softly, or hug/kiss him", and then he starts doing it all over again. We have tried explaining over & over again how we are to treat him and it doesn't seem to be sinking in. I guess today it has just been worse, because on a normal day I will just let the dog outside, but today it has been raining all day, so ds has been non-stop with him. I really don't know what else to do at this point, I've never had a reason to yell at him or put him in time-out before, but I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions would be helpful thanks.

[DesireeH]

I'd love to hear suggestions as well. My 20 month old son does the same thing to our boxer dog. He even makes him yelp sometimes by pulling his ears or whatnot. I have been doing time out because I dont know what else to do. It "usually" helps but any suggestions would be great!

[tboroson]

*sigh* my daughter has been doing the same with our cats. It's a little less worrysome than dogs (and I am a dog-lover and long-time dog owner, too, though we don't have one currently.) On one hand, if one of the cats respond negatively (either out of growing frustration or because she finally accidentally hurts one) they're not likely to cause her any permanent damage. On the other hand, she's much more likely to cause permanent damage to *them*. She's been very... loving toward our one very old man lately, picking him up and carrying him around, or grabbing him by the tail to keep him from walking away from her. I'm really afraid she's going to break a bone in him...

However, I can only have so much sympathy toward the cats - they have far more ability to get the heck out of her reach than a dog, which is pretty well stuck at ground level. If they're too stubborn to exercise that ability, well, they'll learn

It sounds like your dog is very well socialized for young kids - he's being gentle and allowing your son to be a "puppy". But, you're right in staying very alert. If he does get frustrated, he'll turn and treat your son like a puppy - and kids aren't puppies. That treatment could be very rough by human standards, even though it's perfectly acceptable from a dog pack perspective.

My best advice is to give your dog a safe place where he can escape if he's not liking the attention. Do you crate him? Make sure his crate is readily available, and make *sure* your son never follows the dog into the crate. Crate is den and safe-space, and the dog would be far more justified in protecting himself there than anywhere else. If he isn't crated, watch to see if he finds his own den - perhaps in the knee-space under a desk, or in some secluded corner. If he does, protect that space for the dog. It's a lot easier to play goalie for the dog on the occasion he's chosen to retreat instead of 24/7.

[Piglet68]

My DD used to be a bit rough with the cat. The cat scratched her a few times and she learned to respect the cat. Of course, the cat can get away if she needs to, but DD learned a lesson, too. Maybe your dog will have it one day and give a gentle nip - who knows it might help?

I second what tboroson said about maybe just getting the dog a space where he can be undisturbed (I don't do crates, but a doggy door into a fenced yard area would work well).

[frand]

I have two dogs who existed before my daughter was born - a shephard and a labrador. My daughter had moments of jealousy toward attention I gave them and would try to push them away from me sometimes. She would also aggressively 'take over' their beds as her play space. What helped was creating something they could play together. I played a ball retrieving game with them down a long hall -- and I think it was in fact a rainy day that prompted this to boot. I was careful to make sure they understood their own balls (two very different sizes and textures) and I spaced the throws so they were doing the same thing but not competing for each other's ball,. They both LOVED 'the ball game' and I think it helped them tolerate each other better. I also know it helped my daughter develop good running muscles and coordination at a young age. But I was also firm with her in terms of making sure she understood she HAD to be good to the dogs, that they have a place in our home and HAVE to be treated gently. I would hold her hand and make her stroke the softest part of their fur and say, "gentle, gentle" in a soft voice. What's nice is the dogs learned to associate that word with being stroked, so when I say 'gentle' they stay calm. I'm pretty much against crating because I think that creates an unhappy dog with potential for surprise aggression--and it doesn't really address the problem of the child's behavior. I recommend being very consistent with your child, being sure you trust your dog, and knowing you have to keep a close eye on them both right now.

[PuppyFluffer]

The only safe situation is seperation between the two. The effective use of baby gates works very well to maintain safety for everybody. At 27 months, I don't think a child has the ability to really understand that he can hurt the dog and that the dog can retaliate.

After 20 years in pet care as a groomer and trainer, I can tell you that my dogs are never allowed with my child (24 mo) unless I am right there, undistracted by anything else. By "with", I mean in the same room. I am sure alot of people would say that is excessive vigilence but I cannot tell you the number of children I have known over the years to have been bitten by very seemingly nice dogs in situations where the parents were "right there" and it happened "right next to" the parent.

Unfortunately, most dog bites are often to the face of the child as the child is at eye level to the dog frequently and they are persuing the dog, frequently right in their face.

Baby gates are pretty cheap at Walmart. $10 will get you a very functional adjustable pressure gate.

[PuppyFluffer]

Also, I think the way I'd phrase it to my child is "Chowder needs a break from you right now as you have too much energy and activity for him at the moment". That way the behavior is being labeled and your child knows it's his behavior and not the dog. Maybe over time he will begin to understand that to keep the dog around him, he has to calm down.

Tell me what you think about this. I'm just thinking out loud.....

[polka123]

this can turn into a potentially bad scene.
You can only expect the dog to take so much no matter how good of a dog it is.
Sadly, I rescue many dogs in this very situation. Dogs will NIP when they are pissed off- maybe not a full bite yet but..............
let the dog have it's OWN quiet space - for peace.
Babygates are a great idea until the chils is old enuf to understand respect forthe pet .27 mos is too young too understand.
PLEASE give the pooch some peace & keep the 2 separated unles you can supervise the 2 together every minute.
Me- we have 5(five) German Shepherds & a 9 mo old.
the baby has supervised visits w/ the dogs.
I trust my dogs with any of our lives & that statement has been proved a few times BUT no animal - even me , likes to be poke, pulled prodded all the time.
We are teaching DS "nice, nice" - no slaping the dogs & cats.

[Attached Mamma]

Thanks for all the input guys. When he was just starting to crawl and discovered the dog on the floor, we always would pet him and say "soft, we only pet chowder gently", and he has never been anything other then nice to him up until about 2 weeks ago. We are making sure he is never alone now with Chowder, and starting over with the "we only touch animals gently", and if we see him start to prod him we immediately go over and repeat "soft, Damek, we just pet softly", it is already starting to work. Chowder does have places he can go to get away, we usually keep our back door open during the day, so he can go outside, and we have a dog door on our garage, so he can go in there, or he has dug a big hole under our deck in the shade to sleep in when it gets hot during the day.

[sohj]

I agree with the separating him from the dog.

Ours has a lot of good "defensive" ways of ending annoying behaviour on the part of a child; but, if pushed far enough, even she will bite.