What's your BFing age limit? - Page 9

[bunny's mama]

when our first was born and we made a committment not to vax, i made a commitment to nurse a minimum of 2 years, then re-assess at that point. well, when dd reached 20 months, i got pg, she started to bite A LOT and so i began to wean her, which was an easy, natural process (i now look back and i can see that for my dd, the biting was her way of saying she was done nursing, she just didn't know how to end the relationship). in the end, it was dd who chose her last nursing session (at 23 months). i knew tandem nursing was not gonna be for me, so i knew i wanted her totally weaned months before baby arrived. in the end she said she was giving her milky to baby. so sweet. weaning turned out to be such a positive thing for dd, especially regarding her willingness to receive comfort from people other than me. her relationship with dh literally blossomed the day after she stopped nursing. in hindsight, continuing to nurse her longer than 2 yrs. would not have been healthy for her (edited to add: what i mean is it would not have been psychologically-socially-emotionally healthy for her to continue nursing. i wanted to make sure it didn't sound like i thought continuing to nurse would not have continued to be physically healthy indefinitely).

now i'm nursing ds and he is 15 months. i am really feeling done with nursing at this point (been pg and/or nursing since feb. 2000, and i'd like my body back, plus i'd like to reclaim my breasts as sexual objects and as MINE, which dh wouldn't mind either! ) so since my minimum commitment to myself and my babies is 24 months, i will continue another 9 months (or so), but i would not be willing to go past 2 yrs. we aren't having any more children, but i believe i'd not go past 2 years for future children, as well.

[bunny's mama]

re: night weaning age

i forgot to add that my absolute cut-off for night nursing is 1 year old. both of my kids woke about every 1-2 hours for the first year of theri lives. that is about all i can take. we do the dr. jay gordon nightweaning, and i get my sanity back, plus it helps me not get totally burned out on nursing altogether.

[Gab'sfamily2004]

I say 1.5 years. Seriously. My baby is 15 months and I am READY to wean
him, he might not be ready, but I think it'd be better for him to have a sane mom around.

[amyandelle]

Before Elle was born I said 1 year but now that she is here and we are not vaxing I will bf at least until she is 2.
Amy

[sntm]

I think I would be uncomfortable after 3, but I didn't see myself nursing until 2, which is my current goal, so who knows?

My comfort level for other people is higher, and while some of the long-long term EBFing makes me a little uncomfortable, I recognize that it is my issues and not theirs -- I don't think it is wrong, just weird for me , KWIM?

Too long for me to read all the responses!

[Gab'sfamily2004]

Oh, my God, I saw the picture of your adorable son in your website and he looked so much like my Adam, our angel is 15 months. I couldn't help loving seeing your baby's picture, he is very beautiful

[DaryLLL]

Originally Posted by bunny's mama

when our first was born and we made a committment not to vax, i made a commitment to nurse a minimum of 2 years, then re-assess at that point. well, when dd reached 20 months, i got pg, she started to bite A LOT and so i began to wean her, which was an easy, natural process (i now look back and i can see that for my dd, the biting was her way of saying she was done nursing, she just didn't know how to end the relationship). in the end, it was dd who chose her last nursing session (at 23 months). i knew tandem nursing was not gonna be for me, so i knew i wanted her totally weaned months before baby arrived. in the end she said she was giving her milky to baby. so sweet. weaning turned out to be such a positive thing for dd, especially regarding her willingness to receive comfort from people other than me. her relationship with dh literally blossomed the day after she stopped nursing. in hindsight, continuing to nurse her longer than 2 yrs. would not have been healthy for her =.

Just wanted to comment here. Your dd may have nursed happily for much longer had you not been pg and your milk dried up to a trickle. She may have been objecting to the slow flow, not to bfing per se. I did wean 2 of mine while pg (sore nipples), but my third and last child nursed much longer b/c I had a full supply until it gradually lessened as he really needed it less.

So her emotional response and habit of biting may have been out of frustration, not b/c toddler nursing is emotionally unhealthy. See the difference?

I am not saying you were wrong to discourage nursing (many people understandably wean while pg), just pointing out the pregnancy/lactation connection.

[DaryLLL]

Originally Posted by Gab'sfamily2004

I say 1.5 years. Seriously. My baby is 15 months and I am READY to wean
him, he might not be ready, but I think it'd be better for him to have a sane mom around.

GF, why are you so ready to wean? What is making you "insane?"

Sometimes partial weaning helps moms get their sanity back. It might not be neccessary to fully wean. Toddlers receive so many benefits from nursing til 2 yrs old.

FYI:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

[bunny's mama]

Originally Posted by DaryLLL

Just wanted to comment here. Your dd may have nursed happily for much longer had you not been pg and your milk dried up to a trickle. She may have been objecting to the slow flow, not to bfing per se. I did wean 2 of mine while pg (sore nipples), but my third and last child nursed much longer b/c I had a full supply until it gradually lessened as he really needed it less.

So her emotional response and habit of biting may have been out of frustration, not b/c toddler nursing is emotionally unhealthy. See the difference?

I am not saying you were wrong to discourage nursing (many people understandably wean while pg), just pointing out the pregnancy/lactation connection.

oh, i think i was misunderstood. i didn't mean that i believe toddler nursing, in general, is emotionally unhealthy. what i meant was that in retrospect, my dd just seemed to blossom socially and emotionally literally the day after she stopped nursing. while she was nursing, she absolutely refused comfort from anyone other than me (even her father), and also could not stand to be away from me for even the shortest time (i used to cook dinne revery night with her in the kelty backpack, because she had to be physcially on my person or would stand screaming at my feet). lots of other things, too. but all this really changed when she weaned. now, you might say that maybe this was all just a developmental phase and maybe her weaning happened to coincide with a time when she was naturally ready to be more independent, but as we all know our own children, i know instinctively as her mother, that it our nursing relationship, as lovely and beneficial as it was for the first 2 years of her life, would not have benefited her (except physically, of course) had we continued longer.

the biting part, yes, my lack of milk due to pg may have defnintely played a part, but again, it is my intuition as her mother, and also with the benefit of retrospect, that tells me that her biting was her way of telling me she wanted to stop nursing.

again, i'm speaking for my specific situation. i'm not saying that all toddlers who bite are signalling a desire to wean, or that all toddlers who nurse are not open to more independence or comfort from others...i'm just saying that this was the choice that was best for our particular situation. my dd is nearly 4 years old now, and i just could not imagine nursing her now. seems so foreign to me. but i'm not saying that there is anything wrong with another mama making the choice to continue nursing a child of the same age (one interesting thing is that suseyblue and i were pg and posting here on these boards back in the summer of 2000 with our first children. now her ds is continuing to nurse, and mine is long weaned. it is really neat to see how different mamas meet the needs of our very different children).