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What's your BFing age limit? - Page 5

post #81 of 169
6/13/04 at 1:50am
At first I was aiming for 6 months (ds took 3 weeks to latch, ugh), then I was aiming for 12 months, now I'm going for 2 years. Ask me again in a few months, and I'm sure I'll have changed my mind again. As long as we're *both* comfortable nursing, I'm good.
I also love that he's my getting antibodies (allergies are common in my family), I'm basically his comfort food, and I can almost always calm him down.
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post #82 of 169
6/13/04 at 2:09am
For me personally, four years is my limit. I say that though and the thought of forcing my child to wean breaks my heart. But the thought of nursing my son at five-years-old....just not for me. And I'm always scared that it will never end...that he'll be one of those rare kids who want to breastfeed at 10-years-old. I need an ending!!!

As for everyone else...I don't judge anymore. Or I try not to. Since the Texas A&M anthropologist says the natural weaning age of humans should be between 2 1/2 and seven years....maybe I'd probably think nursing beyond that is a little OVER-extended. But then just as some cultures have unusually early weaning ages (way before the natural 2.5 age) some cultures have much later weaning ages.

In my opinion, we should nurse as long as the other apes nurse. I think that's about 2-5 years.
post #83 of 169
6/13/04 at 2:42am
I don't have a limit.

I'm relieved that this discussion didn't turn out to be about when people think *other people* should wean.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mother_sunshine
confusing the breast as a sexual object (and expecting that your child will also) is giving in to the ignorance of our society towards breastfeeding.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucysmama
Anyone who thinks breasts are inherantly sexual objects has issues, IMO. They may be *common* issues in our society, but it's still not right. Breastfeeding is not a sexual act.
post #84 of 169
6/13/04 at 2:47am
What is my BF age limit? I don't have one. At age 7, she still occasionally requested (and received) bm. And commented on how delicious and special it was! I completely believe in child-led weaning.

ETA: When my child was 12 months, I thought I'd nurse her until she was 2-3. When she was about 2, I thought, OK, weaning will happen in the next year. When she was 3 and still going strong (at least at nap and bed time), I decided that whenever she decided to wean was fine with me.

Ann-Marita
post #85 of 169
6/13/04 at 3:32am
I can't imagine nursing past a year, but I have hope that maybe someday I'll know what it's like.

Ds stopped at six months and dd wanted to stop at nine, but I talked her into two more months. By eleven months, she was done. I've been completely grief filled, both times.

I really hope, with any more, that they'll go longer.
post #86 of 169
6/13/04 at 5:57am
As it stands, i want her to be done by three. I guess i am for CLW up to a point, tho i know many of you believe it is all or nothing . I think three years is an incredibly long time, and a great gift, and that for me to wean her at that point will not be bad or evil or traumatic. I do refuse her even now sometimes (22 mos) if my breasts are sore or feeling touched out; if i am not content with how things are, then i will resent it and her and taint the relationship and i don't want that. If she's not showing signs of stopping for good at 2.5, i will gently but actively encourage weaning at that point, I think right now - this feeling may or may not change. I do want to get pg soon, but i don't really want to tandem. Please please no flames - i have gotten my share of those lately; i am simply trying to be honest about my feelings on this issue.

I am, however happy for other people to do as they please .
post #87 of 169
6/13/04 at 6:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mother_sunshine
Simonee, I just wanted to let you know that it isn't much different when a child has a gap. Not even close to as bad as when they're teething as babies. Dd needed to adjust her latch a little bit but other than that no problems.
Thank you m_s. I didn't think it would hurt, it's just one of those things where suddenly you realize that something will happen that you've never thought or read about before kwim? And yeah, I did secretly wonder if my nipple will get stuck in a gap :LOL

I just talked about it with dd (that's one of the great things about nursing an older child). She says that she'll respect the fact that it's "my body my choice" (that's how we always phrase it here) if I want us to wean, but that she would really like me to "let my kid have the best food there is and her favite food also till she's a teenager."
Who can argue with that?
post #88 of 169
6/13/04 at 8:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by simonee
Thank you m_s. I didn't think it would hurt, it's just one of those things where suddenly you realize that something will happen that you've never thought or read about before kwim? And yeah, I did secretly wonder if my nipple will get stuck in a gap :LOL

I just talked about it with dd (that's one of the great things about nursing an older child). She says that she'll respect the fact that it's "my body my choice" (that's how we always phrase it here) if I want us to wean, but that she would really like me to "let my kid have the best food there is and her favite food also till she's a teenager."
Who can argue with that?
That is so sweet!
post #89 of 169
6/13/04 at 8:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by chemigogo
As it stands, i want her to be done by three. I guess i am for CLW up to a point, tho i know many of you believe it is all or nothing . I think three years is an incredibly long time, and a great gift, and that for me to wean her at that point will not be bad or evil or traumatic. I do refuse her even now sometimes (22 mos) if my breasts are sore or feeling touched out; if i am not content with how things are, then i will resent it and her and taint the relationship and i don't want that. If she's not showing signs of stopping for good at 2.5, i will gently but actively encourage weaning at that point, I think right now - this feeling may or may not change. I do want to get pg soon, but i don't really want to tandem. Please please no flames - i have gotten my share of those lately; i am simply trying to be honest about my feelings on this issue.

I am, however happy for other people to do as they please .
Chemigogo, But CLW is "CHILD led weaning". It isn't mother led. Not that there aren't reasons moms want to wean. I am just saying that child led weaning is just that, not "child led to a point".
post #90 of 169
6/13/04 at 10:54am
Not that there is anything neccessarily wrong with mother-led weaning (well, I guess depending on the age of the nurser). There are two people in a nursing couple, and it continues as long as both of them are happy.
post #91 of 169
6/13/04 at 11:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom4tot
Chemigogo, But CLW is "CHILD led weaning". It isn't mother led. Not that there aren't reasons moms want to wean. I am just saying that child led weaning is just that, not "child led to a point".

Fine then - I am not opposed to mother-led weaning after two years of age - does that sound better to you . if she weans herself before three, i will be pleased, if not, i will probably wean her as gently as possible myself. As phathui said, and i agree emphatically, BOTH of us must be satisfied with the nursing relationship.
post #92 of 169
6/13/04 at 11:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by simonee
she would really like me to "let my kid have the best food there is and her favite food also till she's a teenager."
Who can argue with that?


liam has said he will bf until he gets married and has his own babies. i asum he thinks he can then get his milk from his wife :LOL
post #93 of 169
6/13/04 at 11:38am
7 is when bfing my dd got on my nerves & i cut her off (cruel!) see, i don't practice child-led weaning, lol.

i dunno; my going-on-4 yr old (ok, he's not even 3 1/2 yet, but he is extremely articulate) is not nearly ready to bid adieu to his 'do'. (he is very interested right now in having me tell you all now that children need their milk! he is vehement!)

suse
post #94 of 169
6/13/04 at 12:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5
Not that there is anything neccessarily wrong with mother-led weaning (well, I guess depending on the age of the nurser). There are two people in a nursing couple, and it continues as long as both of them are happy.

ITA!!!
post #95 of 169
6/13/04 at 1:43pm
I completely agree that it is a nursing "relationship". I was one of the moms who use to say, "well, maybe until a year or so" (even tho I knew the WHO guidelines). After dd was born I realized it wasn't just my decision. I couldn't imagine taking away her attachment object (nursing was a vital part of our connection). I wish more moms had the support and maybe even the expectation that "children will wean when they are ready". There are so many factors in our society that work against this, not the least of which is the over sexualization of the breast.
post #96 of 169
6/13/04 at 4:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom4tot
I wish more moms had the support and maybe even the expectation that "children will wean when they are ready". There are so many factors in our society that work against this, not the least of which is the over sexualization of the breast.




Quote:
Originally Posted by simonee
Thank you m_s. I didn't think it would hurt, it's just one of those things where suddenly you realize that something will happen that you've never thought or read about before kwim? And yeah, I did secretly wonder if my nipple will get stuck in a gap

I just talked about it with dd (that's one of the great things about nursing an older child). She says that she'll respect the fact that it's "my body my choice" (that's how we always phrase it here) if I want us to wean, but that she would really like me to "let my kid have the best food there is and her favite food also till she's a teenager."
Who can argue with that?
post #97 of 169
6/13/04 at 4:35pm
Seems like there is lots of talk here about the nursing relationship continuing as long as it is mutually desired. I think this is also the recomendation of WHO and AAP after their recommended minimum nursing periods.

I just wanted to say that even though I think this sounds like a good idea conceptually, I believe that a lot of moms in our society have many reasons to believe that they are ready to end the nursing relationship much sooner than they might have been if they had different societal pressures or cultural directives or peer guidance or whatever...

I know many people who felt it was time to stop nursing at 12 months bc they had it ingrained in them that that is long enough, and thus felt that they had had enough. I know other moms who say their child "self-weaned" at 9 or 10 months but I also know that they started solids early, used pacifiers, practised CIO...

I'm not accusing anyone here of doing this, I'm just saying that a lot of moms I know believed that their child naturally weaned or was ready to wean bc of these environmental conditions that we live in today.
post #98 of 169
6/13/04 at 4:41pm
Another thought on "self weaning", I think some (don't know about "most" or "all") thumbsuckers seem to "self-wean" early. My son "self weaned" at 15 months, but really, had he not been a thumb sucker (which he still is) I am thinking he would've nursed longer. Truth be told : he sucked *MY* thumb, so he was happy to get the closeness of nursing without having to be facing in, YK? I would lay him down to nurse him to sleep and he would nurse for a cery short while, then grap my thumb or finger and put that in his mouth. He would esp. do this when he wanted to be playing but still wanted to be close to me. Eventually he started sucking his own thumb (and pulling on his own hair, which he used to do my hair), and he still does at almost 3. I am thinking if I had stopped the finger/thumb sucking, he might've nursed longer, thoughts?
post #99 of 169
6/13/04 at 4:42pm
I weaned my kids at two.

Nursing got incredibly uncomfortable for me after age 1 1/2 with both kids. I couldn't stand the physical sensation. I thought it would drive me mad!
post #100 of 169
6/13/04 at 4:52pm
I think those are good points. I do believe my dd would have nursed longer, but I was working part-time (she stayed with my mom or DH depending on my schedule). She started refusing bottles of EBM at 9mo so was very dependent on nursing because she hadn't figured out the sippy cup. Eventually she started taking water in a sippy cup, but would not drink anything else. When I was 2 months preggers with ds, she weaned at 20 months old. I think it was a combination of these things, our separations while I worked, her discovering the sippy cup and possibly my milk supply dropping because of pregnancy that caused her "early" weaning. It was earlier than I expected, but gradual enough that I never leaked or experienced discomforted. She never cried about it and was never denied.

I even allowed her to try to nurse again after ds was born, but she had forgotten how to suck.
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