Question of the week for June 13th

[heatherevond]

Good morning ladies. I thought I would start this weeks thread instead of being one of the last ones to respond.

With this pregnancy we are preparing for a VBAC. There are a few things I want to do with this pregnancy that I didn't get to do with my first pregnancy. I want to take a bradley class and/or hypnobirthing class and I want to do a belly cast. DH would be more comfortable if I read a girlfriend's guide to pregnancy and asked for my epidural on the way into the hospital. Do any of your DH's feel this way? What can I do to ease his fears/discomfort with more of the natural pregnancy beliefs?

Also please update us on your pregnancy.

I'm 17 weeks and in maternity clothes full-time. I woke up this morning on my belly and the baby didn't seem too bothered by it. My check up Friday showed my blood pressure was up again and I will be be back in the OB's office in two weeks. I haven't gained any weight yet although I know I will be gaining weight quickly soon. I really want to stop working now but the financial situation is necessitating that I work at least three more months.

[BabyOsMommy]

s Heather. What is your bp at now? I am watching mine so closely because last it was high, but I regulated it well with meds. Are you doing anything now to try to help it? I can't remember if this is your first or not?

My dh was amazing for the birth of our ds. I didn't have the most natural of experiences, and this time, I've just been really open and honest with him about what I want to do differently and ask him what he thinks. My only advice for you would be to talk to him, encourage him to read himself and go from there. My dh truly believes that this is my body, and our baby's birth and wants me to take the lead. He is very supportive of my choice to go with a mw this time over an ob/gyn and is open to homebirth as I try to decide what I want to do. I do wish he'd tell me more about what he's feeling, though, because sometimes I want help making decisions, or to at least know how he feels.

I'll be 18weeks tomorrow. Still having bouts of , mostly in the morning. Trying to eat well, but it ain't really happenin' as much as I'd like. I'm feeling babe maybe every other day or so. Some day's definitely more than others. My mw had a hardtime finding the heartbeat last Tuesday, and thinks my placenta is anterior. The only thing I can find with that is that I may not feel the baby move as much as if it were posterior. I don't think it's low lying, so I'm not concerned yet.

s and , mamas!

[MonkeyPrincess]

My Update: I bought all drawstring/elastic shorts when my regular clothes stopped being comfortable and I got sick of trying to keep the maternity shorts up, but my belly just started popping out and in certain outfits it sticks out from under the shirt, ugh!

I went to the midwife last Monday and I gained 4 pounds since last month, so I am up to exactly where I was when I got pregnant.

The baby is moving regularly now and I love it Sometimes it still feels squirmy, like if your holding a plastic bag filled with goldfish, but mostly now there's big bumps and waves from all the somersaults. My dh felt it for the first time yesterday morning, so that was cool.

We're deciding wether or not to do the ultra sound...the midwife gave me the RX for it, and I made the appt in case we decide to go ahead with it, but there's really no reason for it and I DO NOT want to know what the baby is. I'm so afraid that they will slip or put it in the report and while I'm in labor or something one of the nurses will blurt it out from my chart. After waiting all that time, I would be devestated! If we do have the u/s, my dh won't go, because he does want to know and won't be able to resist if he's in the room!



QOTW: My dh would prefer it if I got the epidural, too. I think its just easier on them! But, is supportive of me doing it "my" way, and all the changes that incurs from having ob-hospital-intervention-filled births the first three times. I'm also planning on having a doula at this birth so that helps take some pressure off him. Would your dh feel more comfortable having a doula there to help out?

[Grantsmommy]

Hi, everyone! I'm 19 weeks and have gained 8 lbs so far (full time maternity clothes). I only gained 24 with ds, so it looks like I'll be heavier this time. I lost 22 lbs just before I got pg, so maybe that's why it's going on faster this time! Oh well...

I'm planning to do a class on hyponobirthing too this time. I didn't take any classes last time, but I read the Bradley book and Spiritual Midwifery until I was blue in the face! I had ds at home and it was wonderful. I'm sure you'll do great this time too. Have dh read the Bradley book with you so he'll recognize the signposts of labor. I know this helped my dh. Also, get ahold of "Gentle Birth Choices," a video and book set. It showed several natural labors and was very helpful.

I'm interested in a belly cast...please advise us when you find more out about that.

Still having periods of naseau, but only threw up once at 17 weeks. I have to really focus when I brush my teeth so I don't gag! Lovely!

Catch you next week!

[heatherevond]

BabyOsMommy - I am on bp medicine from prepregnancy (lots of stress with extended family. Weight gain and bp rise was my badge of honor for making it through). At my first prenatal visit the bp was 140/90 but I was not taking my meds as I was directed (I was having a hard time remembering to take them..not the case any more). The next two visits showed a bp at 122/80. This time it was 140/90. I'm just feeling a bit more run down than I should at this stage and I'm sure the bp is to blame.

Monkeyprincess - My dh is not a very social person and I think having a "stranger" in the room would make him uncomfortable. With that being said I was training to be a doula and would love the support of another woman. I wish I had my "close" friends here to help with the birth. I think that would put us both at ease.

Grantsmommy - Dh is tired of me watching the birth shows with all types of births (I've been obcessed with birth since 1998 even after my c-section ). I have pointed out the women who have had natural births after c-sections. He is more worried about a healthy baby and mother than making sure my wishes are met.

I'm not trying to make DH out to be a bad guy. In fact when I was pregnant with our first son we agreed that I could have a homebirth after a successful birthing center birth. Well, that pregnancy ended in c-section of a breech, pre-term, no amniotic fluid baby. This pregnancy had no luck of finding a birthing center before you added in the high blood pressure. I'm trying to make sure I stay healthy and have a natural birth even if it is in a hospital setting. Darn it if I get stuck at home that wouldn't bother me a bit. DH would definitely have a couple of cows.

Good night! Thanks for your help and support!!

[mom2amelia]

Things are going well here. I had my ultrasound on Friday. The tech probably spent half of the time looking at the heart. I don't think there was a problem, she was just having a hard time getting the right angle. Due date still November 13th, so I'm just past 18 weeks. We said we didn't want to know the sex, but, of course, I was looking, and I would not be at all surprised if this one is a boy. Still can't imagine having a boy child, but I'm sure it will all work out just fine. The tech also said he once, though she ususally just said baby.

I've been feeling more movement, a little bit each day. Over the weekend, as I was laying in bed, I actually saw my belly move a little from one of the kicks. Dh was out of the room, and sad to have missed it. Hopefully he'll get to feel something soon.

Dd has been asking questions about the birth- why will daddy help me get the baby out, will she be at the hospital, why will she be with grandma, why will she get to hold the baby, can she hold the babies hands, etc. She seems to be processing it all pretty well, though I'm sure it is on a pretty superficial level.

QOTW: I'm actually in the opposite situation. Dh would LOVE to have a home birth, but I don't want to. He hasn't mentioned it recently, but he did a lot with dd, and occasionally at the beginning of this pregnancy. My doula was really a big help too. My husband was worried about it at first- like she'd take away from the support he wanted to give me, but in reality it worked really well, and we will probably use her again.

Clothing: I'm still wearing some regular t-shirts, but most of my pants are long outgrown. I think I'm not quite ready for the full on maternity clothes- at least my maternity overalls make me look like a clown. I am growing rapidly, so I think that soon enough I'll be living in maternity full time. Haven't had anyone recognize my pg status out of the blue yet, but I think it is pretty clear.

[momsmyjob]

I'm 16 weeks. My blood pressure was good at my last appt. I've gained 2 pounds and had been feeling really good. I never had much morning sickness to start with, but in the last few days I've been feeling really yucky during the day and much better in the evening. Otherwise everything else has been fine.

[heatherevond]

I'm finding myself rather talkative this week. DS and I went out Sunday and I misjudged the chances of getting a sunburn. We are both hot to the touch and DH says I am starting to get bumps on my arms. I hope the heat escapes tonight. I really need to be at work tomorrow but, I'm not going to be miserable at work like I was today.

I hope everyone is having a great week.

[jecaly]

hi mamas,

18 weeks tomorrow! the weeks seem to be going by more quickly these days. there is fluttering or kicking almost every day now, which i just love. also, strangers have started observing that i am pregnant, woo!

we went camping this weekend, and i had an allergy attack that turned into an asthma attack on the first night, then a really awful headache that got so bad it made my vision blurry for a moment on sunday. yeesh! all better today, but i'm realizing that i need to alter my expectations of camping a little.

qotw: d is supportive of the homebirth--he comes with me to the midwife appointments every month, so can ask any questions he wants to. also, i've been talking about homebirth since long before we even started trying, and my brother and his wife have had two safely in their home--once when the home was a tent!--so he knows it can be done. i think he trusts that i know what i'm doing, too, which is nice. the only thing he balked at was the idea of unassisted, but our midwife seems pretty willing to be hands-off if that's what we're wanting, so i'm good with having her there.

[Annabel]

I'm 17 weeks and although I've been able to feel the baby move for a few weeks now, they've just become strong and regular kicks. I love it!
My stomach is huge and looks great in my new maternity top, but looks a bit silly in my old maternity clothes because they got so stretched last time!
My dh is happy for me to make all the decisions regarding the birth. He was very supportive last time, although he freaked out a bit when I went in to labour and told the midwife I would need some strong drugs! I couldn't tell him I didn't want any, luckily the midwife told him that wasn't going to happen!
I've had a headache for the last 3 days and I just can't seem to get rid of it.

[AmandasMom]

Just got back from Dr appt, heartbeat is fine, my blood pressure is fine. I had PE last pregnancy, so Im paranoid about my bp. I get my ultrasound next wednesday. I can't wait! I want to know if its a girl or a boy, and I want to make sure everything looks ok in there. I was puking all last week, but since this monday, I've felt GREAT! I feel the baby move on ocassion. It's getting uncomfortable to sleep on my tummy, and I'm a tummy sleeper so I'm having a hard time sleeping. My arms/shoulders hurt when on my side, and I've never ever been a back sleeper. Plus nasal congestion is driving me batty. But all in all I feel great. And I think this is, after 3 years, my 1,000th post!

[heatherevond]

Kim - Congrats on your 1000th post! I'm looking forward to my u/s too. I want to be sure that everything is OK. The question mark is looming over my head and I hate it.

Annabel - Sorry about the headache. My sinus' have left increasing amounts of pressure in my head. I'm hoping it clears up after the summer.

[indiegirl]

Pg is going well! I'm so much bigger at night than in the morning, it's comical. I have my u/s next Thursday and we are finding out the sex (blame dh, I was prepared to have it be a surprise). We are having a fetal echocardiagram to rule out a genetic heart condition that runs in dh's family.

Jesse

[KittyMommy]

Jesse - I know EXACTLY what you mean. I go to bed looking 6 months pg and wake up looking 4 months pg! :LOL

I will be 20 weeks tomorrow...I can't believe it...halfway!! I'm still fighting the last remnants of a summer cold. With A/C and seasonal allergies, I'm afraid this cough isn't ever going to go away. My u/s is next week. I can't wait to find out if this little bean is a :boypin or a :girlpin!!

QOTW: My DH would be absolutely thrilled with the delivery my mom had with me...out cold with general anesthesia and no DH's allowed. He mostly missed out on DS's birth. He got food poisoning the night before and the nurses kicked him out when the found out he had been throwing up two hours before my water broke. They let him come back when I was pushing, but he was groggy from sleeping all day, so definitely not himself.

I'm mostly worried about how he acts when I am in pain. He gets snappish and picks fights and generally acts like a jerk. It's not that big macho guy is squeamish...he's a nurse so he sees a lot worse than L&D every day. I'm pretty sure that it's because he loves me and gets distressed to see me "suffering" but doesn't know how to deal with it constructively. Since I want to go pretty natural, I'm thinking about broaching the idea of having my best friend there too. I think that she would help normalize the whole process for him (having delivered two babies herself). We'll see as things get closer...

Jen

[Grantsmommy]

Jen - I for one think it's a great idea to have a girlfriend at the birth. The bottom line is...no matter how wonderful our dhs are, they are MEN! It is invaluable to have the support of another woman (a close friend or relative), especially if you want to do it naturally. I plan to have my two closest friends this time...one has had 2 natural (one hospital, one home) and the other has had 4 home births. Don't count on the nurses to be your support because the shift could change and you end up with a hag!
By the way, we share the same due date! Can't wait!

[Shell]

Finally, finally feeling flutters/kicks! So happy! I kept reading about everyone else, and I was wondering when it would begin! It's very cool!

The pregancy seems to be steering itself at this point; I feel like an innocent bystander! I'm enjoying being pregnant so much.

Dh and I are having some differences of opinion on the doulas/childbirth educators we've interviewed (3) and I am a bit bummin' about it. I thought for sure we would get the same gut instinct as who we want to go with. So, I don't know what we're going to do, but we need to make a decision.

That's it from my end for this week.

[clynnr]

Okay, I'm a little late this week, especially since the new thread will be starting up tomorrow, but I wanted to respond anyway.

DH and I went on vacation with some of his family this week. It was great! I took my new pg swim suit and have a fabulous picture of me in it reeling in a northern (a fish, for those non-fisher-gals) with my pg belly sticking out the front. It was a great, relaxing week.

My two year old neice was there, and she's facinated with "the bump." Of course that's probably because I have to remind her that we can't stick our elbows into the bump (ouch!) and when I carry her, one leg has to stick out straight so it rides over the bump. She constantly tells me she wants to "see the baby." I show her my belly, skin and all, but I don't think she quite understands the concept yet.

QOTW: DH thinks I'm a little bit crazy lately... (I wasn't into any of this "natural stuff" until I got pg and started researching) He was very supportive of my choice for a doctor, and he's supportive of cd-ing and breastfeeding. Actually, he tends to support any of my choices, even if he thinks I'm crazy. He is very swayed by REAL evidence, so maybe it would help if you printed out some of the research on using epidurals and/or other drugs during birth. It's hard to argue with that. Good luck!

OHHHHHH! I almost forgot! I started feeling baby kick and move this week! I've been playing the "maybe that was baby..." game, but now I know it's the real thing! Yay!!!