Any other Feb UC'ers here?

[mehndi mama]

Just wondering if any other Feb mamas are planning unassisted homebirths. We're planning on our second intentional UC

[TwinMom]

Wow, I admire you! We are planning a homebirth, but there will be midwives. I'm not brave enough to do a VBA2C by myself. If I had not had any c-sections, I might just be joining you . Are you doing your own prenatal care or are you seeing someone else for that?

[mehndi mama]

Yeah, since "prenatal care" for me means "eat properly & get some excercise", I'll be doing it myself. I've found that, as far as prenatal care goes, I know more of what is really important than half the people I could go see. (Ever talked to a Health Department Nutritionist or Maternal Health Nurse? :LOL What a flippin' JOKE!)
Any midwives I ever saw just stressed me out....so for me, the best prenatal care is NO outside prenatal care

[Krystal323]

mentor me please!

wow--I just today (eek!) found out I'm expecting #3. My first was born in a birthplace, my 2nd in a hospital, and this one I really want at home but I live in west tx and don't think there's even any doulas here let alone a midwife! Can you tell me some good books to read or point me to some articles supporting non-outside prenatal care and unnassissted homebirth?? It sounds divine!

[mehndi mama]

Sure! (And welcome! ) Most of the good resources are online at this point - first I would sign up for the cbirth yahoo group (groups.yahoo.com then search for cbirth) - it's a very active list (you'll probably want to sign up for digest, or nomail & just read online), and that's where most of the discussion that helped me through my fears, what-if's, and "maybe that's why"s happened. You'll get to read lots of birth stories, and connect with LOTS of BTDT mamas who are sooooo laid back, they're just "go with the flow, honey" It's a great environment to be in.
Second, go check out Laura Kaplan Shanley's site www.unassistedchildbirth.com It's a fun-to-navigate site, because she has info on everything, and links everywhere! She is also the author of one of the only books in print about UC, and it's called Unassisted Childbirth
Third, go to the MDC homebirth forum & take a look at the UC support threads. And pipe in if you have any questions

I had 2 of my babies in the hospital (1 with an OB, 1 with a CNM), one oops UC that was supposed to be a midwife-attended homebirth, one MW-attended HB, and one UC. Our UC was originally going to be a "midwife in the other room just in case" sort of deal, but it turned out that my midwife was one of those ladies that feeds off the birth energy, and she couldn't handle not being in the room when the birth was happening. She also got all wierd on me for moral reasons (I wasn't being the "good christian" she thought I was supposed to be) and tried to treat me like her child.....pretty much all for doing things that made me happier & more confident in myself than I had ever been. Talk about an energy drain! So, after throwing a few fits at home, and getting my ranting done with, DH suggested looking for info on doing it ourselves, with no midwife. I had already read Unassisted Childbirth, so I figured it would be pretty easy to find info, and it was. In just that one day of looking, I was convinced.

During my last pregnancy, I figured out a lot of things that convinced me that being home by ourselves would be the safest thing:

I'm not as stressed out about my diet when I'm not being "monitored" by a "professional", and so I eat more and better. (I was so concerned about not eating the right things that I would just not eat, rather than eat the wrong stuff. That was bad, and caused problems - mainly early labor, and in one case, a very sick baby)

The breathing problems my babies all had at birth were very likely directly caused by things that were done to me during their birth. Ian had a partially collapsed lung, which I believe was caused when he got stuck....because I was on my back on a high table, scared to death. All my other babies were birthed on hands-and-knees, on solid ground, with no stuck shoulders and no tearing. But they had their cords cut before breathing was established, and I think that was the cause of the problem. When Davey was born, we didn't cut the cord until the next morning - he didn't breathe for a minute or two, and took his first breath just seconds before the placenta detached. As nature intended it. And incidentally, he was the only baby of mine not to get jaundice....which some doctors still think is caused by letting the placental blood drain back to the baby Whatever.

Anyway, deciding to UC was definitely a journey, and I was searching for validation every step of the way. And I guess my little guy *is* my validation, because while his birth was the hardest (6 hours hard labor as opposed to 30 min-3 hours), his also had the best outcome - a completely healthy baby, untouched by any outside baggage Besides, I love to tell people he was born at home with no attendants - they say "was he very big?" And I say "Not really - only 9 lbs" and watch them go
Then I get to calmly tell them about my friend who had her baby a few days later - 13 lbs, born at home, no tearing. (So much for the 8 lbs=big baby=c-section theory!)

[Dandylion]

Hi! I'm planning an unassisted birth. I've never had one before. Both my girls were born in a hospital. Neither birth was horrible, though they both had their problems, but I knew after Harper was born that I wanted to have a homebirth. Once I started researching homebirth, I found out about unassisted birth and it just felt totally "right" to me. The more I read, the more sure I was that that was what I wanted.

[Krystal323]

That sounds so cool mehndi mama! (mehndi as in henna body art?? I love that stuff too!)

Both times they thought I was overdue (and I only had the slightest inkling about my LMP!), so they broke my water after the contractions were just a little stronger than "annoying"--yk? But after having my water broke both labors were only 3 hours, unmedicated, and not too bad (the hospital one was worse b/c I was so scared of the damn hep-lock lol!). I wonder how long it would've taken if my water wasn't broken though...! orried BTW both babies seemed to be early--they said by the appearance of ds (vernix, etc) he was probably only 39 wks not 42, and although the smug hospital staff didn't tell me anything about my dd's "actual age", I never saw a kid look so "cheesy"--she was covered in vernix!! So I suspect she was even earlier than my son was. <sigh> We'll never know.

Anyway, I will check out that website and perhaps sign up w/the group too--thanks! Looking forward to talking more w/you

[Lula's Mom]

Mehndi mama- Sorry to break in here, but I had a question about that cbirth list! (I'm planning a UC but I'm in the December due date club.)

Somebody (maybe you?) mentioned cbirth in "I'm Pregnant" last week, and I tried in vain to find it... I did go to the groups at yahoo and searched cbirth, but ALL that came up was the cbirth 'offtopiclist'. I'm assuming that's not the one I want, right? Can you help me find it through some other route? Please, please, please!

[mehndi mama]

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/cbirth/
Thar y'are!
(Oh, and yes, mehndi as in henna I used to be a sidewalk henna artist between babies )

[Lula's Mom]

Thank You!!!!!

[3 little birds]

sp

I'm due in Feb. (or maybe Jan ) and am now seriously considering UC.

I had a c/sec with my twins and a midwife assisted homebirth (in the water) with my son, 2 years ago. I really loved my midwife, but she is a bit far away now and my insurance will no longer pay for homebirth. I really just want to be left alone to birth in privacy. Of course, the flip side of this, is wondering if I'll freak out when the time comes.

I will be checking out the links and reading the other UC posts.

[mehndi mama]

That's the beauty of UC - you can continue to see a care provider during your pregnancy, if that helps you out, and then you can either decide to do it yourself when the time comes, or call your attendant if that seems like the right thing to do. Your options are only limited by what you don't know

I've discovered that I've developed an "aura of confidence" since Davey was born - people used to question me about all kinds of things when they found out our plans for birth, or anything else "out of the norm" (everything, basically :LOL).....and now it seems that I can cut a drilling down to a single question. I don't know how it happened.....maybe I'm starting to look older

Anyone been fielding eye-popping questions lately?

[KateSt.]

I'm so happy to see this thread here! Thanks Mehndi mama! The second time I was pregnant I was planning a u/c. I loved Laura Shanley's book Unassisited Childbirth -- with each page turn I felt more and more empowered. I was actually quite excited about it and even having beautiful birthing dreams every night.

Unfortunately, I m/c'd -- my second one -- and it really shook my confidence, not to mention my beliefs. Now I'm pregnant again and I did have a visit with my m/w (who has been wonderful support through my 2 m/c's.)
She didn't know of my plans for uc -- and I feel like I should share it with her in case I reach that place again. I don't feel like I have the confidence right now for uc, but maybe that will change as my pregnancy progresses. I'd love to feel that confidence again, but don't know if I ever will -- maybe this thread will help! Thanks again!

[mehndi mama]

If you're ready, you can do it, Kate!
We lost our second baby, too - only to pneumonia from a prenatal infection. His birth was a scary but exhilarating unplanned UC.....funnily enough, I think it was his birth that made my midwife more clinical AND in the end made me realize that what happens can happen no matter who is there, and the likelihood of an outsider influencing the flow of my birth is VERY high, and possible affected the outcomes of all my births. So while she was looking at Trenton's birth as a "bad" learning experience, that should have made me more cautious in her view, I saw it as a huge growing experience for me & DH. It really put life, death, and birth in perspective for me.

Of course, that was 9 years ago....and it took 6 years for me to fully realize those lessons and work through everything to the point where I *knew* we'd all be safest taking all the responsibility on ourselves. It does take a while - but I have a beautiful little guy who was born with absolutely NO problems to show for my confidence......it sure felt good

[KateSt.]

Stell, What an incredible, moving, and beautiful story -- thanks so much for sharing it. It really has given me a lot to think about....

[weesej]

I am in the process of deciding wether or not to UC. I am having a fellow student give some care and have asked her to the birth, photos, woman help, etc. and also to be there just in case. I am comfortable that she will make herself scarce. Also very possible I will just not call her if I am doing fine. My problem is the know too much syndrome, I want to be able to labor not analyze my labor, so I almost want someone there as an opjective 3rd party LOL!

[mehndi mama]

It really helps to read unassisted birth stories. I honestly think that was the one thing that truly convinced me of the beauty of a woman just listening to her own body - if you can learn to trust your body to tell you if you need something to be different, you can learn to let go of the "clinical oversight" viewpoint. Before I decided to UC, I was at the point of wanting to become a midwife - I had done tons of reading on the subject, and could carry on a professional conversation with any midwife......but when I started looking for other alternatives for my own birth, the birth stories hit me the hardest. The women who just *knew* to turn over after the baby crowned, not even knowing that the shoulders were stuck. The woman who called an ambulance just because something "wasn't right", demanded a c-section as she was wheeled into emergency, and the doctor found a uterus on the verge of rupture. The women who held their baby's head instinctively as the rest of the body was being pushed out, only to find that the cord was wrapped around the neck and the baby was able to be safely somersaulted past it........truly amazing stories of what happens with a bit of basic knowledge, a lot of trust and intuition, and the absence of any interfering energies from outside!
You've got plenty of time to search out how you feel about being alone. I just think it's terriffic that a midwife (or apprentice midwife) would even consider a UC - most of the midwives that I know are so convinced that the only safe homebirth is an attended one, and they are therefore the only means to a good birth - it's refreshing to hear of one who believes that a woman can be safe AND solitary.