Missing my Dad today....

[Ms. Mom]

My dad commited suiside in January 2000. Last year was my first fathers day without him, but I was still so close in my greif that I didn't really relate to him not being here.

This year has been very odd. The realization that he's not a part of my life, that we'll never work out our differences, that he'll never accept me and that I'll never understand him, or why he chose to take his life is really hitting me hard.

I guess I'll just light a candle and warm the room with a glow to remind me of a man who was so complex. To remind me to be open with thoes I care about and not shut my feelings inside as he did.

It just makes me sad - my father was someone that people LOVED to be around. Always fun and full of interesting conversation - it just makes me so sad that he never had anybody who truely understood him or knew his deep dark secrets.

Thanks for listening...

[emmaline]

Dear Jacque

Nothing to say

Just listening

emmaline

[ladylee]

{{{Jacque}}}

[lisamarie]

Jacque~

You have been going through so much lately~physically and emotionally. I'm glad that you are coming here to write and talk about your dad. You are so good in acknowledging your feelings of loss and grief~I am so proud of you.

The first year is such a numbing experience and just when you think o.k.......I'm past the "1st" year and I'm doing o.k., it hits you. I know that you know this, but continue to write. Write letters to your dad. IMHO~I think he can hear you. Maybe take those letters to the zoo and bring and balloon and attach those letters to the balloon. Meditate, say a prayer or tell your dad what you are feeling and release the balloon up to heaven, to God or to your higher power.

It is so, so sad that people who choose to leave us, have so much pain inside. You are such a warm and compassionate person to open yourself up to this and people who are suffering from depression.

My heart is truly going out to you right now~I am sitting beside you my friend, holding you and loving you.

Hugs~

Lisa