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Letter to a Regretful Mother -- - Page 2

post #21 of 37
Thank you so much for a beautiful letter, Andrew.
post #22 of 37
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
and where is Acksiom these days?
Pulling out of his annual post-birthday depression.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora114
We should make this a sticky.
Mehhhhh. . .there's six up there now, that's kind of a lot already.

And honestly, I'm not sure it even merits being stickied ITFP, especially compared to what's up there currently and in light of how much more mileage those seem to get.

But I appreciate the compliment .

Quote:
Originally Posted by bell bottom blues
Thank you so much for a beautiful letter, Andrew.
YW! Hope it helped.
post #23 of 37
Bump
post #24 of 37
bumping for new moms
post #25 of 37
post #26 of 37
Thank you. I think about how I will tell my son one day that I let them cut him, that I mutilated his penis, that I changed him forever without his permission...how I will explain to why why I chose, how I could have been so ignorant and foolish and...cruel...and why his brothers are intact (when he has them)... most importantly though...I want to make sure he knows it was wrong and encourage him not to repeat my mistake.
post #27 of 37
THANK YOU for this.
I printed it out for myself so I can read it whenever I start to go down the road of guilt again.
And it DOES help to see the words "I forgive you."

I do love my sons so much!
post #28 of 37
Thanks for re-posting this! Makes me feel a tiny tiny tiny bit better knowing that even though we made the mistake of circ'ing DS, he'll still love us no matter what. And we're still good parents!
post #29 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonfirefaery View Post
Thank you. I think about how I will tell my son one day that I let them cut him, that I mutilated his penis, that I changed him forever without his permission...how I will explain to why why I chose, how I could have been so ignorant and foolish and...cruel...and why his brothers are intact (when he has them)... most importantly though...I want to make sure he knows it was wrong and encourage him not to repeat my mistake.
Exactly.

And I thank you as well.
post #30 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonfirefaery View Post
Thank you. I think about how I will tell my son one day that I let them cut him, that I mutilated his penis, that I changed him forever without his permission...how I will explain to why why I chose, how I could have been so ignorant and foolish and...cruel...and why his brothers are intact (when he has them)... most importantly though...I want to make sure he knows it was wrong and encourage him not to repeat my mistake.

That is what I plan to do too. Though I had one old lady today tell me that she has a background in psychology and that I should never let my sons feel my pain and sorrow over this and that I should NOT tell them that I made a mistake. That was truly baffling. Of course I am going to admit my mistakes.
post #31 of 37
bump
post #32 of 37
Bump again...
post #33 of 37
Thanks, I really needed this. Your absolutely right, the regret and extreme remorse poisons the relationship a mother has with her circumcised child.
post #34 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankly Speaking View Post
The most important thing is to say "Son, I didn't know better then and now I wish I had." The bond between mother and son is strong and as long as the mother is candid and honest, that bond will be preserved. OTOH, if she denies him and his feelings and her motives, that bond can be irrepairably damaged.



Frank
That's what happened to my husband. He tried being honest with his parents about how he hates being circumcised, but his mom blew him off. She refuses to apologize or even admit it was a bad decision. At this point their relationship is strained. They talk, but there are no strong bonds.
post #35 of 37
Bump
post #36 of 37
Thank you for this.

Not a day goes by that I don't regret this ignorant decision. : Its to the point that I dont want any more children because if I have another boy, he will be uncirc'd of course, and I don't know if I will have the strength to see my perfect first born little boy's body that became mutiliated by me:

Its so hard to live with this mistake. Please try to keep that in mind when you see a circ'd little boy. The parents may regret it now and you don't know that while you are silently thinking they are proud of their dumb dumb dumb decision.
post #37 of 37
Bump...I think there are always lots of Moms who need to read this letter...

Please know that no one here judges you. And I don't believe your sons will either. As Acksiom says - the measure of your regret is a powerful indication of the overwhelming love you have for your son and your incredible desire to protect him from all hurt and wrong.

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