Ok, here is one for you wise mamas:
This morning, while I was putting some clothes into the washer, my almost-4-year old cleared off our table. Our table had about nine loads of freshly folded laundry on it, all sorted into neat little piles. I had one more load to do before the house laundry was finished and then I was going to put it away. The laundry had been on the table for about 24 hours.
So I walk into the living room and Violet said, "Look, mama!" and pointed to the huge mess. Then she started laughing. I was horrified. Violet is hearing impared and has a speech delay, so talking to her simply doesn't do the entire trick. YOu have to show a lot of facial expression as well as use simple phrases. Here is how it went:
Violet: Look mama! (laugh)
Me: Oh, Violet. Oh no! (hands in the air)
Violet: Mama! (laugh)
Me: Violet, oh my goodness. Messy, messy! Mama is so sad. (I start to look as if I am crying, using body language to show her I am really sad)
Violet: Funny, mama!
Me: No, it's not funny, Violet. Mama is MAD and SAD. (hands on hips)
Violet: (Cry) MMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD (growly voice)
Me: Violet, mama needs your help. We have to clean this up
Violet: (scream) MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD (cry)
Me: It's okay, mama is sad because the cloths are on the floor. Mama worked hard to clean up. Too messy, Violet.
Violet: (cry) MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD (stomps foot, growls, cries)
Me: Violet, come here. It's okay. We'll clean it up.
She continued to be very effected by my performance--which used to be the only way she would understand. I felt like I really hurt her feelings, she even told her preschool teacher that mama was sad today. All the way home she asked, "Mama sad? Mama mad?" I told her I was happy, that I was not sad anymore.
It just totally threw me for a loop. She is getting so much more verbal and more in-tune with my emotions. I don't know how to find a middle ground or how to really know what she is understanding, what I can talk to her about.
Any advice on how I might have handled this better?
Jesse
This morning, while I was putting some clothes into the washer, my almost-4-year old cleared off our table. Our table had about nine loads of freshly folded laundry on it, all sorted into neat little piles. I had one more load to do before the house laundry was finished and then I was going to put it away. The laundry had been on the table for about 24 hours.
So I walk into the living room and Violet said, "Look, mama!" and pointed to the huge mess. Then she started laughing. I was horrified. Violet is hearing impared and has a speech delay, so talking to her simply doesn't do the entire trick. YOu have to show a lot of facial expression as well as use simple phrases. Here is how it went:
Violet: Look mama! (laugh)
Me: Oh, Violet. Oh no! (hands in the air)
Violet: Mama! (laugh)
Me: Violet, oh my goodness. Messy, messy! Mama is so sad. (I start to look as if I am crying, using body language to show her I am really sad)
Violet: Funny, mama!
Me: No, it's not funny, Violet. Mama is MAD and SAD. (hands on hips)
Violet: (Cry) MMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD (growly voice)
Me: Violet, mama needs your help. We have to clean this up
Violet: (scream) MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD (cry)
Me: It's okay, mama is sad because the cloths are on the floor. Mama worked hard to clean up. Too messy, Violet.
Violet: (cry) MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD (stomps foot, growls, cries)
Me: Violet, come here. It's okay. We'll clean it up.
She continued to be very effected by my performance--which used to be the only way she would understand. I felt like I really hurt her feelings, she even told her preschool teacher that mama was sad today. All the way home she asked, "Mama sad? Mama mad?" I told her I was happy, that I was not sad anymore.
It just totally threw me for a loop. She is getting so much more verbal and more in-tune with my emotions. I don't know how to find a middle ground or how to really know what she is understanding, what I can talk to her about.
Any advice on how I might have handled this better?
Jesse
Sorry, coming from someone who doesn't know the lengths we've come and the amount of work we do on expanding her vocabulary, that comment really irked me. I appreciate the sentiment. Please know that our entire day is a speech therapy lesson. Even being able for her to understand those words is an amazing thing.
I have friends who are speech/language pathologists for very young children, and a friend whose son has had some speech difficulties, so have an idea of the challenges you face daily.
