Hello, I am new to GD, but I have been practicing something similar. Some of it based on Love and Logic, some based on instincts, some based on AP lit. We encourage the positive behavior and TRY not to give too much energy to negative behavior. I believe in natural consequences, but we do give our 2 1/2 yr old son time outs as a consequence to his inappropriate behavior. Although I see them becoming less and less effective. I am searching for a style that works with him.
Here is my story . . . Ok, my son has always been very loving. Until recently (the last few months - the last month especially) he has never shown aggression to anyone except me - he would get "the look" as I call it and playfully pounce on me or pull my hair. Now, all of a sudden he is hitting and pinching and throwing things. It is never out of anger, but excitement. And he seems to get a thrill if his aggressive action is hurtful or if he gets any kind of negative reaction. Recently, he hit a baby and I am very concerned now about how he will act with the newborn. This was at a wedding reception and my husband and I took him to see the baby crying, explainging briefly that he hurt the baby and now he was going to sit on daddy's lap for awhile. The fact that I didn't spank or, rather "beat the s#*% out of him" really made my brother mad and created an incredible rift between us. However that is beside the point.
It seems so odd to me where this behavior even stems from because my husband and I never even playfully hit one another and he never watches television. Likewise, he has only known love and never violence. I know that this isn't terribly unusual for a child of his age, but it is really discomforting to me.
He always seemed very excited about the arrival of "Baby Bootsie", as he calls the baby, and until the last month has been very interested and loving toward the baby within me. Now all of a sudden he is saying things like, "I'm going to mow Baby Bootsie down" or "I'm going to lay on BB" I know he is saying these things because he thinks they are funny and I just ignore him when he says those kind of things and encourage him when he says positive things.
Discipline is very difficult with him. When he throws a hard toy, I take it away and give him a soft toy to throw instead. Lately, he throws that and then gets another hard toy. When he hits, I hold his hand and tell him that it is not ok to hit, give him a brief time out and recommend he apologizes. The time-outs are becoming less and less effective. He just sits and laughs about what he did. I can't take toys or priveleges away because he doesn't care about those things. Of course, I don't spank him. THe more energy I give to him about something, the more he thinks it is really cool. If I lose it and get angry, he really thinks that is hilarious. If I am not giving him constant attention lately, he acts up. Even when I am giving him constant attention, he will do something to "test" me.
This is just a recent development and don't know if he is just getting into the trying twos or if it has more to do with sensing the imminent changes - or both. If anyone has any suggestions or experience, I would be glad to hear it. Thanks ahead of time!
Jessie
Here is my story . . . Ok, my son has always been very loving. Until recently (the last few months - the last month especially) he has never shown aggression to anyone except me - he would get "the look" as I call it and playfully pounce on me or pull my hair. Now, all of a sudden he is hitting and pinching and throwing things. It is never out of anger, but excitement. And he seems to get a thrill if his aggressive action is hurtful or if he gets any kind of negative reaction. Recently, he hit a baby and I am very concerned now about how he will act with the newborn. This was at a wedding reception and my husband and I took him to see the baby crying, explainging briefly that he hurt the baby and now he was going to sit on daddy's lap for awhile. The fact that I didn't spank or, rather "beat the s#*% out of him" really made my brother mad and created an incredible rift between us. However that is beside the point.
It seems so odd to me where this behavior even stems from because my husband and I never even playfully hit one another and he never watches television. Likewise, he has only known love and never violence. I know that this isn't terribly unusual for a child of his age, but it is really discomforting to me.
He always seemed very excited about the arrival of "Baby Bootsie", as he calls the baby, and until the last month has been very interested and loving toward the baby within me. Now all of a sudden he is saying things like, "I'm going to mow Baby Bootsie down" or "I'm going to lay on BB" I know he is saying these things because he thinks they are funny and I just ignore him when he says those kind of things and encourage him when he says positive things.
Discipline is very difficult with him. When he throws a hard toy, I take it away and give him a soft toy to throw instead. Lately, he throws that and then gets another hard toy. When he hits, I hold his hand and tell him that it is not ok to hit, give him a brief time out and recommend he apologizes. The time-outs are becoming less and less effective. He just sits and laughs about what he did. I can't take toys or priveleges away because he doesn't care about those things. Of course, I don't spank him. THe more energy I give to him about something, the more he thinks it is really cool. If I lose it and get angry, he really thinks that is hilarious. If I am not giving him constant attention lately, he acts up. Even when I am giving him constant attention, he will do something to "test" me.
This is just a recent development and don't know if he is just getting into the trying twos or if it has more to do with sensing the imminent changes - or both. If anyone has any suggestions or experience, I would be glad to hear it. Thanks ahead of time!
Jessie
