toy squabbles between 4 yo and baby sis

[mamaley]

she picks up one of his toys, he doesn't like that, takes it from her, gives her another toy she can play with.

i love how he gives her another toy, but would like him not to just take things away from her. at the same time, i want to respect that his toys are *his*. at this point though, everything is "special".

any suggestions? everyone tells me that the sibling relationship is always fine until this starts

[fizzymom]

no help here, but... :

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Boy I hope someone has some helpful insights because this one is driving me nuts too. Except that my son usually screams and cries as he snatches the toy back, which is what really gets on my nerves.

[indiegirl]

That's great that he is giving another toy--isn't it funny how they think it will automatically solve the pissed-off sibling thing though? It's a good skill to have and it does come in handy sometimes.

My dd is almost four and her sis is 17 mo. When Zoe (the youngest) is playing with something Violet wants, I will reinforce turn-taking. "It's Zoe turn now, Violet. In one minute it will be your turn. Zoe, it's almost Violet's turn. Almost time to be all-done." Remarkably, this works really well for us.

Today Zoe had Violet's prized blanket. Violet snatched it away and because it is her one very special blanket, I asked Violet to get Zoe's special blanket for her. She seemed to get that they were parallel, even though Zoe doesn't care for hers as much as Violet cares for hers.

Anyway, I recommend stressing turn-taking and setting a timer if need be. Zoe will often say, "all done" and give the toy to Violet after the hub-bub has passed.

Jesse