, I would say that if you only
have doubts because of a freaked-out, stressed-out Grandma, then put her in her place and move on... but you seem to already have reservations of your own.
IMO AP is about having an empathic connection with your child so you can sense what they need; it's not about which medical procedures you refuse to take part in, or which piece of baby equipment you would never use. It's not about political beliefs or broad social issues. It's about raising YOUR KID
as if s/he is the first and only child ever born and nobody else's style is going to work for them. Can you think of a more loving way to raise a child? In order to do it, you have to be in arms reach, you have to be attentive. If you have doubts about your own style, modify it and see what happens. There's no reason to follow a set of rules if you're feeling uncomfortable. And there's no reason not to let your child go into the world and explore it with other people, sometimes. A few hours a few days a week in nursery school next year sounds like a fine idea, if you think
your child needs to start exploring the world beyond your lap.
As far as the dependency issue
My AP Dd has been independent from day one... the only part of me she clung to was the breast! Seems to me that AP fulfills her need for intimacy, and then her independent spirit kicks in and she's off and running, doing her own thing.
That's just her personality. On the other hand...
The most clingy child I know is my dear friend's son, a few months older than my daughter, and he certainly didn't have the AP advantage. DF is the type of mother who will pull a child by the ear if he isn't moving fast enough, who discusses other peoples' sex lives in front of her kids as if they are mindless, who never responds to anything her children say until they've said it 11 times and then she snaps at them for bugging her
You'd cling to your mother, too, if you weren't sure she knew you were alive!
Anyway, I agree that children are born with certain propensities and our parenting styles can exaggerate what G*d or DNA gave them.
And I totally agree with this:
I'm sorry that was novel