Originally Posted by goepark
I am so impressed by the student mamas on this board. On the flip side, I'm starting to feel really inadequate. How do you all do it? I had ds when I became ABD, so I figured "all" I had to do was the dissertation. Well, guess how that's been going? It really hasn't. I also teach at a university as an adjunct two days a week, so that also takes a lot of time. But my real joy is being a mom and I take real pleasure in all the little things I do for ds. And the kind of mom I choose to be seems to take a lot of time - washing his cloth diapers, making his food, AP, and I read a lot on parenting as well. When do you have time to study? At night? How do you afford daycare if you don't work?
You sound just like me. I know you're not impressed by me!! Unless you're impressed by how I still manage to find so much time to dick around on MDC while complaining about how much work I have to do....
I pay for my child care the same way I pay for everything else, w/ student loans. The school does give me $200 per semester, which is a joke IMO. But the child care just covers the time I'm in class, I really don't get any work done in that time unless I skip class (which I often do
To be honest, I have cut a lot of corners, time-wise. I used cloth diapers up until about a month ago, but I don't anymore, which really bummed me out. I had planned to make his baby food, but I don't - I can barely get around to cooking for myself once a week. (Not like it matters, since he won't eat anything besides breastmilk and cheerios anyway.) I do still try to read about parenting, but it's a few pages at a time here and there, yk? I think I am totally AP, however, and yes that is a big time committment but I don't think about it, I just do it. I'm not the mother I had hoped to be, but I'm still a damn good mom, that is pretty much the only thing I feel sure about these days.
I study -- in theory :LOL -- a couple hours at night after he goes to sleep, an hour or so in the morning when he is in a good mood and can entertain himself pretty well, and a half hour or so during each of his naps. If I was smart, I would also take advantage of all the people who keep offering to babysit... I don't know what's wrong w/ me that I can't ask for help.
I wish I had some sage advice for you but all I know is my own situation, which I am barely handling.
I keep telling myself that if I can be a mom, I can do anything! And when my peers at school make me feel inadequate I tell myself they have nooooooo idea, that while I was pacing for hours w/ a screaming sick baby, they were knocking back free beers at the SBA party. I also have to keep telling myself it's ok to be a whole lot less than perfect. Priorities are not what they once were.
You can do it!