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Student Mamas...New thread!! - Page 3

post #41 of 288
8/1/04 at 3:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by PretzelBaker

also it seems like the law students on here are taking the 4 year path. is it worth the extra cost? do you think it's necessary?

i really want to become a lawyer but i just don't know if i can leave my baby in daycare and juggle it all...

-libby
Hi Libby!

I think the 4 year program has given me enough "breathing room" to manage. It is mainly a night program. I had dd after my 2nd year so it has been a slow process. But that also meant I got one "extra" summer to intern, since last summer I didnt want to work at 9 mo pg.

Also, the students in the evening program are way more relaxed and mature than the day students (IMO). I took a couple of day classes this year to minimize the time I was on campus. The evening students generally work and have families so they are less likely to make you look bad in class if you give a wrong (or less than right) answer. Law school can be a nasty, competitive, dog eat dog kind of place.

The extra cost is really the cost of living for the extra year in school, since you end up with the same number of credits to finish.

Take care!

PS - Love all the anthopology talk - that was my undergrad major and my first love!!!
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post #42 of 288
8/2/04 at 5:18pm
"The extra cost is really the cost of living for the extra year in school, since you end up with the same number of credits to finish."

The law school I am applyig to (U. of Pittsburgh) charges the full tuition even when you're on the slower track so I'd be payng or 4years of full-time instead of three, an extra $20,000 or so. I have a hard time justifying this but I also don't want to do badly because I took on too much. Grr....


-libby
post #43 of 288
8/3/04 at 1:11pm
Libby -

The fact you would be out the extra 20K stinks! :

And then if you take out loans (who doesn't) and you figure out that 20K with compund interest over the next 30 years ... =
a whole lot of money

I know of people in the day (full time) program who have children and are able to get through. Any path will be hard, but I am a firm believer in pushing through and doing what you really want to with your life, sleep depravation be dammed!!!

Good luck!
post #44 of 288
8/3/04 at 2:20pm
Hi. One more student Mama here. I am a grad student, Ph.D. in physiology. I hopefully have less than a year left. Then off to get my teaching credential so I can actually have a job where I can make a difference and see my kids occationally. I am very DONE with research and cant wait for it to be over. I am currently procrastinating wrting a paper and outlining my dissertation.

Anyway, it is great to see so many other mamas in school.
post #45 of 288
8/4/04 at 8:28am
Oh yeah, procrastination is my middle name. PhDs are the worst for that, I think.

But i did just get three really good days of field work in, so that is a fantastic thing to accomplish given my current attitude toward studying....

Got a conference coming up in Sept. too-- gotta get my act together soon!!!!
post #46 of 288
8/4/04 at 10:29am
Yep, I have a conference in november and really want to be working on my Dissertation by then. Probably shoudl really get to writing if I want that to happen
post #47 of 288
8/6/04 at 12:12am

wow, mamas

I am so excited about all the mamas i've been reading about. i didn't get too far into college before i had my dd then i took a year off to be with her so at the end of august i start again to finish my bfa in ceramics and art education.
my question for y'all is this. i have been blessed to finally receive enough grant money to cover the cost of my childcare while i'm in school but......i'm still having a dilemma. there is a very nice daycare on campus which is a definant bonus but im not confident that they are very AP or that they would nuture my dd really well. just a few weeks ago i met this amazing native american family at the ymca and the mama is looking for a child to watch. she has a nine year old and a 9 month old and is a very well educated woman and amazing mama. anyway, i just can;t choose, should i send her to the possibly less loving daycare center that's close to me in case anything happens or should i take a risk and go with my gut with someone i think would nuture her more. help! this is one of the hardest decisions i have ever had to make. thanks
post #48 of 288
8/6/04 at 9:21am
Sweetie, you're gonna have to go with your gut on this one.

I'll give you my perspective, tho. If it doesn't help, ignore it, okay?

I've always choosen centre based daycare for my kids. I'm more comfortable with that than family based daycare because I think that a centre is more..... answerable to the law..... than a family based daycare. That said, I know a number of mums who are very happy with family daycare. I also latched onto a child care centre with a very low staff turnover ratio. Most staff have been there longer than my kids- I've only got one in day care now, the oldest has gone to school. My kids know all staff by name, it's a familiar place, many of the kids were in the baby room with my son (he's now almost 4), etc. etc. It's a community run centre, they have some fairly 'AP' policies in place, altho I doubt they would know to call them by that name. One thing not so AP is that all children must lie down & be quiet on their beds during nap/quiet time (2-5 year group- babies sleep when they need to). TIme out is used when the kids (3-5) are very naughty, or their outside playtime is reduced. My son, even with all his temper tantrums & stubborn nature, has only had that happen once, & we talked about it afterwards. He knew he was totally in the wrong, so.....

IMO- totally IMO!- you will never find a centre/mum who will care for your child as you would. But if there are certain things that you can work with, then I do think that makes the choice easier. It's all up to you as to what is absolutely critical to you.....

hope that helps a little bit at least....
post #49 of 288
8/6/04 at 10:56am
I agree that you have to go with your gut. I can give you my perspective as well (since it is opposite of Aussiemom).

WE have chosen small in-home daycare for our DD. She went to a liscenced caregiver for the first year and tehn we moved ehr to our neighbor. I think thatif you choose this option, you have to completely truct the person. I love how happy Marissa is when I drop her at our neighbors. She never cries, etc and is treated like a part of her family. This is something she wouldnt get in a center. On the other hand, I have worried a bit about the lack of interaction with other kids her age and what happens if Maggie is sick. I think, in our case, that the benefits of the family daytcare out weight what she might be missing in a daycare center.

Good luck choosing. I know exactly where you are, since we were there too.
post #50 of 288
8/6/04 at 8:10pm
i dont have any recommendation about daycare except go with your gut.

i registered for classes today. spanish, math, biology, biology lab, and american radicalism...is that it? wasnt there more? i start on the 23 of august. hope the financial aid goes though.
maya
post #51 of 288
8/7/04 at 10:39pm
I've gone w/ an in-home situation. I also looked at the daycare center that worked w/ the subsidy program, and it was fantastic but had a really long waiting list.

Seeing how DD is now and how she is around other kids, I think she'll be better off in the small mixed age group of the home care situation than in a room of all babies or all one year olds. She thrives on interaction w/ older kids and without that I don't think she would adapt well to being away from me. I really think the worst choice for my DD would be one-on-one care w/ an adult, even her own dad, because she is bored and lonely and miserable by herself and wants mama, after a while even direct interaction w/ the adult caregiver (including me, I have to take her to a play area or a friend's house at least every other day, though I am still acceptable company because of nursing) and toys and such bores her and she wants fresh stimulation, while being around other kids keeps her entertained and happy.

But I'm so stressed out about it anyway...
post #52 of 288
8/8/04 at 12:54pm
We went to an open house at a day care centre yesterday. We really liked it, but I have no idea if we'll be able to get a spot...the waiting list is unreal. The whole time I was there, though, I just wanted to cry. I so hate the idea of leaving DD with anyone other than me that no place or provider will ever be good enough.

I go back to work in November, and I hope to ttc in January so that I'll only be back at work a year or so before #2 is born. Then, I'll stay home and freelance. I'd do it now, but if I don't go back to work I have to repay part of my maternity benefits (almost half of my salary), and I just can't afford that. So, this will be a very sad year.
post #53 of 288
8/8/04 at 1:04pm
its so hard either way you do it. i feel for you.
i got the bill for tuition only yesterday in the mail ouch....almost $1600.00 come on fincial aid and grant lets move it. x'ed fingers
maya
post #54 of 288
8/9/04 at 4:53pm
I need to vent. Bear with me.

Today I handed in my thesis to my examiners. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I am *so* proud of myself for what I've acheived - 200+ pages, written over the past four months beginning when DD was only 4 1/2 months old (I finished all the research just before she was born). I've managed to write the thesis, take care of DD, take care of the house and sick cats, etc etc. Not only that, but it's a good piece of work, and will probably be published.

Today DH got his marks back from a course he's been taking for the past several months. He was really worried about how he did on the final 2-day exam, but I was confident that he'd done well. Of course, he passed with flying colours. It was great news, and he's thrilled, as am I.

Well. All I've heard all day, from my parents and his parents, is how wonderful it is that DH passed, how relieved he must be to have it finished, how difficult it was for him to study with a baby in the house. No one has said a word about how hard I've been working. HELLO? What about ME? For Pete's sake, I've been working my butt off to write while DD sleeps, with very little help or support from anyone! I don't begrudge DH his right to celebrate or to receive praise, but I'm so tired and pissed off I could just cry right now. Well, I *am* crying, actually.

The whole time I was growing up, no matter how well I did in school, I never got praised because it might make my older brother (who never did very well) feel badly. I remember getting awards and winning competitions and not even asking my parents to come, because I didn't want to get into the whole family dynamics. And now I feel like I'm right back there again. Ugh.

Sorry for the pity post. It's just so frustrating to have worked so hard to do my best with the thesis and with my DD, and not have anything I've done acknowledged.
post #55 of 288
8/9/04 at 5:41pm
Hey Jellyfishy, If you needed support, youve come to the right place. I am currently working on my first paper and my first chapter of my dissertation. It is a lot of work. I think it is wonderful that you managed to get it done in only 4 months and with a baby and family to take care of too. i think you are AWESOME!!!!! I send huge hugs your way!!!

Jacqui
post #56 of 288
8/9/04 at 6:54pm
Jellyfish -

~~~ You wrote a thesis with a baby ~~~


YOU ROCK!
post #57 of 288
8/9/04 at 9:05pm
: well- congratulations to you.... : you are great for finishing your thesis. now you have a whole band for the party you deserve.
maya
post #58 of 288
8/9/04 at 10:08pm
Hi all, I have been lurking on this thread for awhile.

Jellyfishy - wow! Congratulations on the thesis!

My ds is 5 months old and I am considering applying to a PhD program next year, maybe history, maybe anthropology - am I crazy? Would I never see my family again? Would I ever get a job?

I am just feeling stupid being out of school and non-intellectual for so long and I NEED to learn. My brain is crying out for stimulation.

Any thoughts, mamas?
post #59 of 288
8/11/04 at 6:35pm
I haven't read all the pages yet but I wanted to be added to this elite club!!! We just found out yesterday that we are expecting our first little one in April. I personally think God's timing is perfect on this one and I'm so excited. Hopefully I'll finish the spring semester and either take the summer off or just take one easy course and see what happens for the fall. I'm a PhD student in clinical psychology -- you'd think psych professors would be on board with bringing baby to class and other AP stuff, we'll see! I'm just so happy to be able to post here now after lurking for months!
post #60 of 288
8/11/04 at 6:50pm

Yay for Jellyfishy!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ian'smommaya
: well- congratulations to you.... : you are great for finishing your thesis. now you have a whole band for the party you deserve.
maya
Wow! You go girl!! I need some of what you've got! I can't even bring myself to work on my thesis proposal! Congrats!
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