First of all, Heps--I am sorry about your son's diagnosis. I know that JD is a very serious condition, and you must be so worried.
I have an 8 year old son, Matthew, who was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, ADHD and OCD at age 6. He pretty much put the HIGH
in the term "high needs baby".
: But I am still alive to tell the tale, and he just keeps getting more interesting.
One issue that is tough when raising a child with special needs is the issue of friends--for not only Matthew but myself. Lets face it, I don't have the *normal* kid who is invited to playdates and birthday parties (he has been invited to 2 birthday parties--in kindergarten at the beginning of the year, before anyone knew us!). He is very impulsive, and at the same time gets his feelings hurt very easily. When it is just me and him we are fine, but dealing with other kids is tough, and parents of *normal* kids just DON'T understand, KWIM?
So I have found that this has made it tougher for me to form friendships as well...because the other friends would be moms that would have to deal with Matthew as well as me. He is a very smart kid--his teacher told me that when they tested his IQ they were shocked at how high it was--he is just off the charts. I don't think other people see this in Matthew--they just see the negative, and I see so much positive.
Like with the in-laws...so, he can't sit down at the dinner table but is up and down and around and under the table--he has so much energy it is actually painful for him to be "still". They can't see that even though he is not sitting there with a napkin in his lap and answering their questions politely he is loving being there with them and taking everything that is said in.
I just thank God that I naturally gravitated to being a AP mom, because if I had been a stickler for every rule and schedule I would have killed either Matthew or myself a long time ago. Even with all of his challenges he is a very loving boy--and does he EVER love his Momma! I have always been a very "march to the beat of a different drummer" type, and I feel like it has helped me adapt to having a special needs kid--do you all feel like that too? I mean, of course it is hard...we all have those fantasies of that "easy" polite child that sleeps well and is quietly friendly, but I also feel so lucky to have such an unusual boy.
Lisa in California