For my Dad

[Mom4tot]

Dear Dad,

I wanted you to know how much I miss you today, and every day. So much of who I am, and what I do, is because of you. When I see the mystery and beauty of nature, I think of you. Some of my happiest memories of my chldhood are of spending time with you outside. The smell of the grass, talking about trees and flowers, you identified them all for me. Picking pears and apples and planting our willows in the backyard. Two of them are still standing on the property...huge, strong willows we rooted and planted together.

Mostly, I think of your smile and good nature. You were always so happy to hear my voice. Seeing you (and Mom) at family parties was what I looked forward to. I think you would love Ron. I think you would respect him and have alot to talk to him about. His company owns an aircraft division. I wish you were to help us. This has turned into such a crazy world, Dad, I wish I knew what you thought about it.

The hardest part of missing you is missing you for my children. Ellie and Ben would love you so much. Ben talks about his Grandfather...and I wonder if you know him, if you've seen them. I want Ben to be like you, to be strong and smart and happy. I think he is. They need you, I need you. It is so hard to keep you alive to the kids. But, I know you would be so proud of them, and crazy about them!

Happy Father's Day Daddy. Every day is Father's Day in my heart.

Love and thanks, Joanie.

[Mom4tot]

I just want to say that this is not intended as a private thread. Please share your thoughts and feelings about your own dads. I think about him often, and this seemed like an appropriate place to share.

[L.J.]

Thanks for sharing.
I will too.

Happy Father's Day Dad!
I can't believe this is the second Father's Day without you. I miss you and think about you often. I know you're with us, but it's just different to not be able to talk and hug & see you anymore.

Thanks for your guidance lately. It helps me to know that you're still looking out for your little girl!

We just miss you so much. I wish you could be with us today at the BBQ and be able to interact with the kids & play. I know you'll be watching....it just isn't the same.

You know that I love the fact that we had become friends in the last few years before you passed. You know that I love all those memories of us together when I was a kid. I love thinking about the way you were with the boys & how much you loved them.

I love you and miss you. Thanks for everything you've taught me and thanks for continuing to look out for me.

Happy Father's Day.
~ L.J.
p.s. I'll have a special treat in honour of you today!

[pugmadmama]

to both of you. Thank you for sharing your Dads here.

[Ms. Mom]

Thank you - I was thinking of my dad today.

Dad, Happy Fathers Day. I'm still so angry and sad that you're not here.

We went to the beach and I could picture you there in your yellow shorts and baseball hat. How you would have looked with interest at each rock dd presented you with. How you would have smiled as ds ran along the beach kicking sand and water.

[China white]

Mom4tot, and all the rest of you wonderful ladies,

These stories are so touching, I'm sitting here in tears as I read them. It's funny, when you're grieving you feel like you're tho only one in the world to feel such paralyzing pain, but reading your stoies here, I see that I'm not alone in my loss. So many of you have expressed exactly how I feel.

I can't believe how hard it is to face each day, knowing I won't hear his voice, his laughter. My youngest was concieved on father's day 2002, my 1st without him. I know it waw his way of telling me "Enough is enough - life goes on", and that I needed to move past my grief. It is so hard to know that Joshua will never know his grandpa: I have pictures of my other two with their grandpa, but I won't have one with Joshua and him. I like to think that he was 'hand-picked' for us by my dad, and that Dad does know him, but sometimes life is so hard that I forget to think like that.

Thanks for starting this thread, Mom4tot, and for everyone else for sharing their dad with us. They are gone, but far from forgotten.

[SaraC]

This was my second Father's Day without my dad and I miss him terribly. He was a great man and I wish I had told him that more. Maddie has pictures of him with her and she does recognize him. Mary-Grace will never know how his hugs would have felt. He fought so hard to live and see her. Will she ever know that? I birthed her into the night 5 months after his death. I looked into her eyes and saw the eyes of my father. She carries his name like I carry him in my heart--forever.

[applejuice]

My Father died the day before the last federal election, 2000; with the confusion that seemed to reign in the Florida returns, I remembered when I was six years old and it was 1960 and my Father and I sat up and watched all of the election returns and I remember the confusion in the Illinois returns on the old black and white television...

I was in charge in 2000 of the polling place where my Father lived and I set up the polling place full of grief. I was so sad! I would have loved to discuss the outcome and confusion with him. I felt so alone and empty!

With the next presidential campaign gearing up, I simply do not feel like following any one candidate. I have no one to discuss the particulars with. It can go on without me. I simply do not care.

[China white]

mamaP, that was beautiful

[Raven]

I just wanted to say that all these posts have been so touching to read!

Thank you all for sharing! I love my dad too. He is still alive and I know that I will miss him a lot when he passes. This thread has made me realize how lucky I am and I will take every opportunity I have to tell my dad how much he means to me and my kids!

[Mom4tot]

Mamapenelope

[Mariposa]

Thanks all of you for sharing your memories and grief. My dad is still here, but you have all reminded me to cherish the time I have with him and not take anything for granted. I can't imagine what I will do when he is no longer here to talk to in person. Though I know I will continue his tradition of just talking outloud to my grandpa whenever he needed to. I know that he will be able to hear me, I just won't be able to hear him.

Hugs to all of you.

[Mom4tot]

Thank you and 's NM.

I find it really helps me to put my thoughts and feelings into words and makes it real to me. I wrote a letter to Ben when he was born, telling him how happy I was he had come, and I put it away. I also keep a journal for Ellie, but have not been as consistent lately.

Writing a letter helps me to remember the idea that even though a person has died, my relationship with that person never ends.

I love your new signature, btw.