My grandmother passed away

[DreamsInDigital]

Last week I was informed that my grandmother's kidneys were failing after a long struggle with her health, diabetes, congestive heart failure, multiple heart attacks, and they only gave her 2 weeks to live. She died peacefully in her sleep on Friday morning. She was surrounded by loving family and she got what she had wanted for nearly 10 years before she passed; my brother moved in with her after living on the other side of the country for the last decade. She pretty much raised him and they were always very close until he moved. She missed him so dearly, and I think she was waiting for him to come back before she went.
She was well-loved and lived a great life. Farewell, grandmother.

[Ms. Mom]

She sounds like a special woman.

Sending you gentle 's while you travel this journey of grief. Please take the time you need to move through this and know we're here to listen.

[DreamsInDigital]

I don't get why my thread only has one reply and all the others have 10.
Anyway, grandma's funeral is on Saturday and I'm so afraid to say goodbye to her. I haven't even gotten to the acceptance stage yet. I miss her so much. I am so glad they decided to cremate her. If it was an open casket funeral I wouldn't be able to go, it would just be too hard.
Everyone is being so matter-of-fact about it and at this point I just want to cry and shout that it's not fair. Why did my grandma have to die now? It's not fair and I miss her.

[lilgsmommy]

I am really sorry to hear about your loss! Your grandma seems like a great lady and she was a very lucky lady to have you for her granddaughter! The acceptance stage is still far away but it will come. During her funeral, she will be watching down on you, and smiling knowing you cared about her and loved her, as well as the rest of the family! If you need to talk feel free to pm me!

[lisamarie]

i am so sorry, she sounds like such a gentle woman. i'm thinking of you and your family.

hugs-

lisa

[applejuice]

Sounds as if she has a good life and a good death.



So sorry for your loss.

[Eustacia]

I am very sorry for the sadness you are feeling. Thank you for sharing your grandmother's story at MDC. You're a wonderful granddaughter.

[DreamsInDigital]

Thanks for your support, everyone. Grandma's funeral was yesterday and there were so many people there I was shocked. Well, not that shocked. She touched so many people's lives. At the time of her death she had 8 children, 18 grandchildren and 20 great-grandchildren. After she retired, she was a volunteer in the ECEAP program for 4 years and a volunteer foster grandparent through the ACAPP and the Head Start program. She touched the lives of hundreds of children who grew up in broken or poor homes, and she made a difference in every single one of them. She volunteered because it made her happy to help people, not because she wanted anything out of it. In fact, she only stopped volunteering in 2000 when her health began to fail.
My grandmother was the glue that held our family together. She was the maternal figure we all could depend on for anything. It was her house we always gathered at for holidays, and in times of hardship or grief. It was she who fed us, cared for us, provided a home for us when we needed it. She never complained, even though she raised her 8 children by herself working 2 jobs. She always had a smile on her face and she loved life.
We each take a part of her with us, and through us she will live forever.

[DreamsInDigital]

Sometimes I wonder if this ever will stop hurting. It's not like I didn't expect it but I just feel the loss weighing so heavily on me.
I got a picture she painted and a beautiful portrait of her and hung both on my walls and it just aches when I look at them. I also got some of her pearls and have worn them every day. Does it ever stop hurting so intensely? I am feeling this loss especially strongly today and I don't know why. I just feel like crying but it seems like everyone else is done with it.
Thankfully, my mother and my brother dealt with all the funeral, memorial and estate arrangements. I am definitely not clear-headed enough right now to make any great decisions.

[tracymom]

It seemed to take me a lot longer to get over losing my aunt (to whom I was closer than my own grandmother!) than it did others in my family. I have things from her home and sometimes get them out and get weepy over them and it's been almost three years.

The pain does lessen with time, of course, but there's still a huge hole in there that will never be filled.

Thinking of you tonight and sending best wishes.