**DONE** June Friends Chat (Summer Solstice - ?) - Page 5

[ketilave]

I don't put evil past some people - DH's ex told SD that he walked out on her (forgot to mention she was having an affair and refused to go to marriage counselling) and that DH is evil because he is Jewish and Jews don't believe in Jesus. That was a tough one to deal with - trying explaining to a 6 year old that daddy is not going to burn in flames, that he acknowledges Jesus as a teacher but not the son of God etc. And, that's just the tip of the iceburg. The thing is, in our case, the ex doesn't want DH out of the picture she just wants him to be at her beck and call. Odd considering she married the guy she had an affair with and now have a son together. Of course this is the same woman whose step children were killed in April and she took SD and brother to spend Fathers's Day with the Exes father rather than be with her husband...Not my problem.

Toddler/baby concerns - DS was 16 months to the day when we brought DD home. Right now they are amazing together and I can't imagine them without each other. Every morning they kiss each other and are so excited to play together. Brannon hates it when Amelia has to take a nap - he wants her to stay up and play. Now I will admit that she is hitting that 12 - 15 month phase I hate encouraged by her brothers 2 yo behaviour so someone is always whining, crying or having some form of meltdown - I am ready to move out - but if this is the worst of it thank God. Brannon watched tv for the first time when I brought Amelia home. It was a treat for him when I just needed to sit down and give her a good feed (not the shoved on, in the sling hurry up and eat kind). And, Amelia has had tv and lollipops and things Brannon had never heard of at this point in his life but I just get through each phase and know as long as I stay in charge we will all come out of it ok. Postpartum was much more difficult than with Brannon but this time I refuse to leave my house for at least the first 5 days. You prove nothing to anyone by racing out of the house or downstairs to clean. I am not after being a super mom or super woman just me doing the best I can and right by my kids, family and ME! But this is baby #3 and I had to learn the hard way!

Dipes - my kids are burdened with plain ol' white diapers!! It's a good thing I don't know anyone that cd's or they would have butt envy!! I do need to order some for the newbie but I just keep putting it off. Nesting is not happening around here - no energy to clean or do anything but I am becoming very reclusive and want to cower behind DH all the time.

[ilovebeingamom]

Hi!

I am kind of late posting. After the night that I didn't sleep, the next night I went to bed with ds and slept good all night. Boy, did I need it! Had the mw appt and it went well. Baby is still head down and I am measuring right on for dates. I sat and watched dh talk to the mw a little, and could see in his face how happy and excited he is about the baby coming. It really warmed my heart!

ketileve-thanks for your kind supportive words about labor. They helped. The mw's also helped by telling me that labor is something we need to get emotionally ready for rather than physically. They told me to lay off reading and trying to prepare for labor by practicing on pain techniques and just try to learn to relax and let go of the fear.

I think I do have some fears to let go of, but I think that I will have to face them in labor. I have noticed that my body will get extremely hot or cold at times when I talk about the baby's birth. I really HATED my c/s, and everything about it, so I think that I am afraid of something going wrong and losing all control again. I tried talking to a counselor about it before, but she really didn't help. I just think that once I am in the situation (labor), I will be able to confront whatever I am feeling at the time and work through it. In the meantime, I will listen to the birthing affirmations, etc to remind myself that my body CAN do this and WILL! I also look at my son, and realize, c/s or not, he is the most beautiful thing in the world, and it is worth it just to have him.

Anyway....

Lena-I would say that ex is more than just unstable, that is just evil!

Kimberlylibby-I used to license foster parents, and we used to talk about fp'ing as a good conception tool. We had several families who didn't think they could even conceive children get pregnant several months after being licensed.

Although my son is preschooler age, I can also empathize with how is this baby going to fit in, etc. I know that for the longest time, all dh and I did was sit and stare at the baby. Not going to be possible this time! Ds will be in preschooler for a few hours a week, but I think this baby will be slinging it a lot more than ds did. I also think that the transition might be a little difficult too in the respect that ds will remember the before/after baby a bit more than toddlers. He is excited though, and I have to share a story before I go...

Ds had an eyelash on his hand, and we told him to blow it and make a wish. He did, and I asked him what he wished for and he said, "For Nora(baby) to come." He said this on Mother's day, and it just made my day. They can just be so darn sweet sometimes!

[LizaBear]

Anyone want to come over to give me a back rub / massage ?

Please ?????

[mealymama]

Kimberlylibby~ I had no idea you've been through so much with pregnancy and loss! How did you ever get past your fear? I know a lot of women who have had healthy pregnancies who still count the weeks.
(As in, Ok, now the baby's viable.... Ok, now the baby has a fighting chance, Ok, now the baby has a good chance...) but for someone with your history it must be really frightening. You must be an extremely brave woman, and you're going to be rewarded for it with the best gift of all! Congratulations on getting to your 34 week point, and here's to keeping her in there a while longer!

I've been trying to do as much as possible with DD lately to make up for the one-on-one she's going to lose when arrives. We went innertubing the other day. She sat in the tube with me and when we went over "rapids" she clung to me but was so good about not "smooshing" her sister. I took her to a matinee today and she wanted to know if Amelia was watching the movie through my belly-button It was so cute! She pats and kisses my belly, and talks about her on and on. I've tried not to initiate too much conversation about it because I don't want her to feel jealous, and I want these last weeks to be her time, but every other thing out of her mouth is "my sister this" "Amelia that" She's such a good girl. Lately I've been butting heads with her more than usual, but I'm starting to think it's just me and my crazy hormones, and nothing she's doing.

T...
What do you do when people walk by with their dogs and don't curb them, or even stop to let your children pet them? DD is raised around animals and she just can't understand the concept that some animals bite. The first thing she does when a dog goes by is reach out to it. I will pull her away, but sometimes, like today, people will actually ease up on the leash so that the dog can follow her, even when they see me pulling her away! Today I had to pick her up, but it would have been too late if the dog had wanted to bite her. And the man looks at me and says "He don't bite." Yeah, well, the next dog might! I mean, I believe that most people know their dogs and wouldn't let them approach a child if the dog wasn't friendly. It doesn't change the fact that they're undoing what I'm trying to teach her about not approaching strange animals. Ooooh, I was so burned up, but like I usually do when I'm on the spot, I just froze up and walked away without saying anything.
Dumb, dumb me.

And DD came home from her dad's with a HappyMeal toy... I have long ago given up on trying to control what she eats when she's with her father... but what made me crazy was that the toy was a truck, and the first thing she says to me when she walks in the door is "I'm giving this to Eli (my friend's son) because girl's don't play with trucks."
I had to hold back my temper b/c she was in her dad's arms but I glared at him and he shrugged as if he had no idea where she picked that idea up. After he left I asked her who told her that and of course, it was my ex-MIL who ex still lives with (he's 31!).
So I know this is minor league stuff compared to the emotional warfare that some people involve their children in, but big 's to everybody who has to struggle every day to accept that they cannot always control what their children and step children are exposed to.

[lena_girl]

Bleh! Remind me to not watch the news anymore over this weekend! DS has had a hard day. He woke up cranky from his nap and spent most of the rest of the day crying. Then I turn on the TV and see what's going on where DH is. Bleh! I'll be so happy when he gets home. He had a trip to Peru once where they had a lot going on, bombs outside their hotel and people throwing firecraker type things at them in the streets, but this trip has me much more nervous.

Re: foster parenting. I think it's great. My parents are foster parents. I also have an adopted brother. I *think* they might end up adopting one of the foster kids they have now too. I think I'd like to do that someday too, but not until we are done having all of our own kids. We know we aren't done yet (God willing).

Lizabear, I hear you. That would be so nice right now.

I'm going to go eat some ice cream, some with lots of chocolate in it.

[Bearsmama]

Hi Girls,
Liza-I'd be very willing to give you massage if I could get one, too! DH says he really needs one lately and I just keep ignoring him. It's so terrible, I know. But I am all about MY needs right now!

Oh, and I had to use the little devil smiley b/c that's how I feel right now! I am terribly grumpy and I sort of want the world to stop for a moment and focus on me and my being uncomfortable. We had a GREAT day of shopping and being out and about. DS was just wonderful-didn't even run off too much-amazing! And then tonight, although he was soooo tired, he was just cranky and very upset that I had to cut our bedtime nursing session short.

Speaking of nursing, who else is nursing another child right now??? I forget. Let me tell ya, it's not been easy for me since probably January.Many nights it feels like nails on a blackboard to me when we nurse. It takes almost every ounce of my being to stop myself from pulling him off of me and running from the room. But he just LOVES it, and I've never known *how* to go about weaning him. It's only 1-2x/day, but sometimes I get sooo frustrated. I discussed this at one of my LLL meetings months ago and spoke about how frustrated I was and whether it was worth it or not to try to continue (even though, like I said, I don't really know how to STOP). And she said that our kids want us whether we're grumpy, frustrated, stinky, etc. So, anyway, sorry for the vent... :

Kimberly-I'm so sorry you've had to endure so much loss over the past few years...

Frog & Jl-Enjoy your time with your DH. We are in desperate need of some DS-free time. I'm hoping to get in at least one long afternoon of babysitting from the ILs before the baby is born. But the ILs are very busy people and I have to make a "date" well in advance. We'll see when we can get that movie in.

Hi Rochelle

Ketilave-Again, I'm sorry you have to deal with all this Ex crap. Sounds AWFUL. Also, it's so hard to keep in mind that with kids most everything is a stage. It's particularly hard when you're a first-time mom. And now that I'm about 2.5 years into this mothering thing I already feel like I've at once learned so much and also don't know a thing

Ilove-I'm trying to get my head in the right place for this labor, too. My first birth was full of interventions. And I'm hoping to free my mind enough of that experience to acknowledge that THIS BIRTH IS DIFFERENT. I'm not the same person, my bod's not the same, etc. I'm reading BFW (AP is taking the classes) and it's really a great book. Lots of pain management techniques, but mostly perspective changers for me, if that makes any sense. I want to really KNOW that I can do this birthing thing-in my soul! And I'm getting there, slowly...

Hey Mealy! Laying in an intertube sounds WONDERFUL right now... sunshine

Spending a lot of $$$ we don't have this week. Just ordered some nursing tanks and my sling... And today I bought a bunch of new onesies and little kimono shirts and a few sleepers for our new little one. Feels great, actually, to be prepping and getting so close. Great and scary all at once.

Anyone else feeling very anti-social lately??? We have a few parties coming up and I just don't want to go. I feel big and lumbering and I not much to wear that's comfortable anymore. Plus, I'm a little grumpy. Not a "glowing" prego lady at this point...

AP-I loved the Granola Threads site. Might just order a onesie from them, too. DH might have a small heart attack, but hey...the baby needs some things!

Okay, once again, it's a Bearsmama novel. Sorry guys, it's all comes out here with my pregnant friends!
Sleep well...

[magemom]

Originally Posted by LizaBear

Anyone want to come over to give me a back rub / massage ?

Please ?????

Sure thing. I will be right there after i figure out how to get out of this chair

In July I am going for another full body massage. End of July I am going to start pedicures. I love having my feet rubbed and a massage where no one expects anything from me when they are done! DH sure won't do it very long. And he really hates feet. DD made me a foot soak and it was wonderful just to soak my feet. I can't wait to try this pedicure thing!!

[Dodo]

Today I decided to make yogurt chicken for supper.

I went to the grocery store where I bought everything except yogurt, a key ingredient, as you might imagine.

After a trip to the store, I was back in the kitchen, working on the chicken. I grilled the chicken and then marinated it.

It took me a while to realize my mistake (namely, marinate and then grill).

Then I threw out the chicken and took a long nap.

Other recent mistakes: putting both the butter and the yogurt in the freezer rather than the fridge; paying for my groceries and then leaving the store without them; sending dd to daycare without undies.

I'm exhausted and in pain (sciatica) again. Last night dh and I had a pretty intense fight about cereal. I actually thought, what have I done, marrying a man who would begrudge me a bowl of cereal before bed.

We're going on vacation in a week or so. I would love to have my nesting done by that point. But all I can do is, say, clean the fridge, do a load of laundry and then collapse for the day. And I have a pretty long, pretty weird list of things needing doing before the baby comes (like arrange the spice rack, organize now-prehistoric wedding photos -- what these have to do with a baby, I couldn't say).

[Solange]

:
hey rochelle

ahhh Dodo....I understand completely...


What am I doing up?
Thinking to much and craving a cream filled cream stick with chocolate icing on top .....Anyone want to talk me out of that? I don't knwo but I maybe making a trip to the grocer in the a.m. to get my fill...been craving it all week

Bears.. on the nursing issue... I am sorry your LLL group did not offer some better support. Sometimes if there are not mothers in the group who have BTDT it is hard to get a more empathetic view. JMHO. Have you tried talking to ds about nursing? What about reading...have you read Mothering Your Nursing Toddler? How Weaning Happens?
Your ds is what 2-ish? That is a looong time to nurse B. You have given him the best far longer than many. This relationship is about both of you, not just him. You have to love it too...kwim?
Here is a good article from LLL- bookmark and save for later:
http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBNovDec98p164.html

Mealymamma
talk about butting heads...I feel like that is all ds and I have been doing these past few weeks and I feel bad when I sit down and think-you know *we* only have 5 weeks left together. I have been just so exhausted lately and in pain, that my patience level is at 0. I really need to work on that. He has been screaming and yelling(something we do not do in this house) when he does not get his way or the major biggie is "I don't wanna play by myself!" this said when dh and I are still eating at the table and he has decided he is done and wants to get back to playing, but doesn't want to wait for dh or I to finish eating. Or going to the potty-he had a week where he went all by himself and now when he has to go we tell him "well go"- and he screams "Not by myself!-I don't want to wash my hands!" Ugh! What am I doing wrong?

Had lots of contractions yesterday all day long...weird....
Baby is moving lots...nighttime bathroom trips are making me crazy...and so very painful when my bladder is full....

well gtg I hear dh up now for his early am bowl of cereal..he will come down here to my typing and give me the "you're weird" look and go back to bed....

ttyl

[kimberlylibby]

Mealymama: Funny you should mention all of that.... well, this is the first due date board I joined, and I joined when I was something like 29-30 weeks? That's not coincidental. I didn't to risk making friends when my baby could still die I had a HUGE scare when my placenta first started to abrupt with Libby at 24 weeks and they told me I *would* deliver in the next few weeks..... so this has been my first "normal-ish" pregnancy.

When I found out about this baby, I was *NOT* happy. Scared? Upset? Worried? All of the above. I actually lost about a dozen friends because they didn't understand how I could be so upset. I did not talk about my pregnancy except to say things like "I wonder when I will miscarry." It was a total defense mechanism. They kept saying "God has given you a blessing and you just need to be happy." Which is all fine and dandy until you've had 5 babies come out of your body dead. I was in SEVERE depression (ended up on Prozac in the first trimester, which has been ) and they saw it as a CHOICE for me to feel upset. Anyway, life is better, I've moved on from those friendships...

This, despite the initial emotions, has been a very faith-lifting experience. I've grown a lot spiritually and my relationship with God is better right now. But at the beginning, I was not feeling "blessed" I was feeling tortured. I mean, c'mon, I was looking at my past odds and saying okay, I've got a 1:5 win/loss ratio. That's not very good.

Anyway, whew, that was good to get out. Is Laurie scared of me now??? I promise I love my baby now and will even MORE when she gets to my arms.... it's just been a long process to get there

New post in a sec for replies

[kimberlylibby]

Lizabear: I hope you got your massage!!!

Mealy: I am so impressed that you went tubing while pg!! Your dd sounds adorable! BTW< I love the name Olivia. We actually considered it, but since dd1 is Elizabeth and we call her "Libby" we were thinking Libby and Livvy would be too similar And, gosh, I never thought about the dog thing!! I always let Libby walk up and pet them if the owner says it is okay!! Maybe I should re-think that!! We don't have pets, so I feel like I should let her enjoy animals when she gets the chance... on the stupid truck thing!! Ugh!

Lena: Thinking of you with dh being gone! I know my sister just can't watch the news at all anymore. Her dh is lucky enough to call every day, so that keeps her going.... he can call a base in the states and it connects him to her for free. Enjoy the ice cream! Yum!

Bears: Good job keeping up with nursing! I've heard it gets SO much easier when the baby is here.... less uncomfy. Of course I don't know from personal experience.... Libby weaned as soon as I got pg She wanted NOTHING to do with nursing anymore Oh, and yes, I'm antisocial right now! I was sooo happy to have the bedrest excuse and get to skip my sister's baby shower!! How wrong is that?? Hehe. But c'mon it's her 3rd kid in 4 years!! And she has a 16mo girl (she's due Aug 30 with another girl), so she doesn't need anything!!! And if she's getting a shower for her 3rd kid, why am I not getting one for my 2nd?? Hmm???? So I just let my green jealousy monster hide with me on bedrest She probably got all sposies anyway.

Jenn: Mmmmm, massage! Sounds yummy!!

Dodo: I had to giggle. Pregnancy makes us sooooo loopy, doesn't it???

AP: I'm a contractomatic too! I'm lucky that my dh has been doing most of the Libby-stuff with me being on bedrest, but I can see how kids could totally drive us crazy at this pint in pg!

I'm off to read a book in bed and finish up this soaker I've been lazily working on for a week. This is my slowest one yet, but I do like it

Kimberly

[Bearsmama]

Hey AP,
I ask myself that what-am-I-doing-up-question almost every single night?

Anyway, morning now and still exhausted...somehow in a weird twist of irony, DH is sleeping in (it's past 9!) and I'm up. Funny...not necessarily funny ha-ha!

Thanks so much the support and the link. AP-You are great with the links and I have bookmarked a few that you have posted in the past. You know what? I wasn't really irked by the LLL response-I think I just used that little irked smiley due to my general frustration level with nursing. But it wasn't THE most supportive thing to say to me when I was asking for BTDT help. It was kinda like, continue even though it's making you nuts b/c that's what's best for your DC. I actually kind of agree with the leader's response. You know, life, nursing, etc., gets frustrating and DS knows the real me. I tell him when I'm getting frustrated or when I have to stop.

BUT, DS is now approaching 2 1/2 (in July). I knew I would EBF, but if you would have asked me while pregnant with him if I thought I'd be nursing at this point, through pregnancy and frustration, I would have said you were nuts.

We nurse when we read books for nap and bedtime. And at first it is painful when he latches on and then it gets better for a short while. But if it goes beyond about 10 minutes or so, or if DS starts to play or nurse in a "weird" way, I can't handle it.

You are right, I have given him the best for a long time now. And at the beginning of this pregnancy I really thought we'd be weaned by now. We DO talk about it, but he doesn't really "get" it. I tell him that mommy's breasts are sore and that perhaps we should start thinking of some other things we can do while we read before sleeping. I don't know if weaning is even possible with him over the next 6 weeks. In fact, I am very prepared for him to pick up his pace with nursing after #2 comes. And I don't know how I'll feel about it. In January, we nightweaned, and shortly after that we got down to the twice daily thing we have going on now.

Anyway, I'm rambling like usual. Thank you for your support, AP. I will keep you posted on how things go. And I'm going to try to make it to more of my LLL meetings over the next few weeks looking for that BTDT support.

I can also COMPLETELKY understand your desire for the doughnut stick. I have to admit that yesterday I purchased two homemade whoopie pies and managed to eat them both entirely myself. Whoopie Pies? I haven't even had one since I was a kid (they are typically a Pennsylvania Dutch treat.

Sorry that you are having some issues with DS. From what I've read, as our EDDs draw near, this "acting-out" behavior is very normal. With my DS it comes and goes in waves... I'm sure they all know on some level that something BIG is about to happen. It might just be that they're picking up on our energy level changing.

Dodo-I LOL when I read your post. I forgot my CC in a store yesterday and was almost in the car and the salesclerk was running after me. I'm like, "Do I know you??" in my head. Duh!

Kimberly-Thanks for the support as well. I really thought that DS would wean while preggers, too. In fact, there have been months when obviously my breast milk has changed or diminished and he has noticed or even not nursed for one of our session. But then he picks up right where he left off.

Anyway, another Bearsmama ramble. I really thought I was going to cut down on these novellas, sorry ladies...

[mommycaroline]

Bears, you are not alone in the nursing biz, believe me. I don't know how you've managed to cut back to only 1-2x per day! We're nursing nearly full time these days, and it's driving me bonkers. I find myself saying "no, not right now" more than anything else, and DD is putting up with it, sort of... One thing that just helped me, a couple days ago I really thought my nipples were going to break in two. I was starting to be concerned about thrush, because the pain was getting so bad I couldn't take it anymore, so I started thinking about it and watching DD nurse. Nearly every time she goes to latch on, I'm wincing in pain. She's going to be three in September, so right around the same age as your DS, and she's really starting to be sensitive to my feelings, more than ever before. She sees me wincing, hears me say "be gentle" so she takes just a tiny bit of my nipple in her mouth, probably thinking that would hurt less than a nice, wide latch. Well, I'm here to tell ya, that is not the case for us! I truly believe that's been a good deal of the pain I'm experiencing. Once I noticed this, I started reminding her "open wide, and get a BIIIIIG mouthful". What a difference!

I'm glad you took your LLLL's comments not to be bad. I read it and really liked it myself. To me, it kind of means, they're just happy to have us, no matter what. Unconditionally. And, I know that's true, too. There are times when I'm feeling angry, frustrated, just generally not a good mommy, DD comes along and asks to nurse and my initial response is "no!" Then, I think about it, and realize that maybe it's just what we need, so I apologize, we curl up together and suddenly we're reconnected and smiling at each other again. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

I'm blessed to have known many tandem nursers throughout my nursing career. One of them just had her second in January, and her first was exactly the same age Bonnie will be when our second comes along, so I've been watching them very closely. She is convinced that tandem nursing has helped ease the way for a gentle relationship between her little ones. There's been no jealousy, no displacement, just your normal three year old stuff, and newborn stuff too. It's helped me hang in there, although, like you, I wouldn't even begin to know how to cut back. There have been two other local mamas here who were pregnant along with me (both have now delivered their new babes last week!) and they both weaned their older children during pregnancy. With one of them, she just said "on New Year's Day, no more mimi" and that was that. I couldn't imagine my Bonnie accepting that! Her DD has asked a couple of times, and has been told, "No, remember? You've weaned." which she's accepted perfectly fine. It astounds me! The other one was with us one day when Bonnie was nursing, turned to her mother and asked if she could have some too, her mama laughed and said "No, my milk is all gone now" so the toddler turned to ME and said "can I have some of YOURS?" Her mama laughed again even louder and said "sure, if it's okay with Caroline!" Naturally, it wasn't, so we all had a good chuckle over it, including the toddler. But for a moment, I felt like a deer in headlights. LOL.

So, my swelling has subsided, thank goodness! I think it was related to poor diet on vacation. We ate out nearly every meal for 9 days. I've also lost a few of the five pounds I thought I put on, so I'm sure it's related. I've taken it slightly easy for the past few days, and I'm feeling more like myself again. No more vacations until this little one comes! Just have to finish getting bedrooms unpacked. The guest room, and my DD's room and then I'm done. It's only been 7 months since we moved into this house, grrrr!

Hope all is well with everyone else, and I'll try and catch up more lately. We are so chatty!

[mommycaroline]

Oh, and I'm going out to lunch with a girlfriend and seeing Stepford Wives today! I don't think I've seen a chick flick in the theatres since my DD was born! I can't wait!

[Jlcampbellkidz]

It took me so long to catch up on everyones post, so forgive me for not individualy commenting on each. I really enjoy hearing about everyone and what's going on.

EX's. My DH was married once before. Fortunetly they didn't have any luck in the conception department so no step kids to deal with. And now that his ex is married I don't have to deal with her nagging calls anymore. She actually moved on. So to the rest of you having to deal with them.

Lena: I think it only took my friend who lives here about 4 o 5 hours to get to San Antonio. Not a long trip and San Antonio has some really fun stuff to do.

Bears: Not that I am glad you are having some rough days, but it is nice to hear you wows as well as your good times. you remain positive for so many of us and I am glad you are willing to post your frustrations too so we can be encouraging to you. From previous posts, it sounds a lot like we had some big simularities in our first birth (interventions....etc) I really liked the BFW book too. I originally read it for Doula certification purposes but found that I could apply it to my own birth and have. I don't know why, but I feel extremely confident about my bodies ability to birth this baby, vaginnally and w/o medication. I can't wait to actually do it and then feel so extremely empowered.

Kimberly: Why would you think you had scared me? I by no means have had to endure what you have. I know there was only 4 months space between my miscarriage and this pregnancy but I am still healing even now. You have every right to have fears, worries, questions. July and August of last year were terrible here. about two weeks before I found out I was pg. I served a client who had a stillborn baby at 38 weeks pregnant. She was 47 and had had two previous miscarriages then finally carried a baby to term only to have the baby taken away. At the time I didn't know why I was a part of that whole process with her. I even questioned God. But this lady has shared more encouragement and support just for my one miscarriage and has been a tremendous friend. She reccamended a book to me called "Supernatural Childbirth" by Jackie Mize. It took me through my fears and redirected me in trusting God through certain scriptures. I recamend it to anyone who has endured a loss in any way. She and i also started going to a support group called MEND (Mothers Enduring Neonatal Death) it is extremely uplifting as well. and two more books that allow me to cry but bring peace were "Mommy Please Don't Cry" by Linda DeYmaz and a book put out by MEND called "I'll Hold You in Heaven" Remembrance book by Debbie Heydrick.

Last night was great. Even though there were several other people there, it was so nice for me and DH to enjoy a few hours together without Breaunna (DD) Come to think of it, I think last night was only like the second time that we have left her with someone who isn't family. But she woke up this morning telling me all about how she spent time with Rylee at Mrs. Kasi's house and she had pizza and watched Barney and had a bath. Her eyes were all lit up with excitement. Kasi even said she behaved. I was so proud, and relieved!

I am slow moving this morning. DH woke me up at 2:00am and asked me to take him to work. He is in the wedding we are going to today and won't have time to go all the way back to his bread depot and then come back home, shower and be ready to be at the church by 2:45. He doesn't usually get home till aroun 6 or 7 so I don't even know how he is pulling this one off. Anyway, I really should get moving. Me and DD need a shower and I have to iron our clothes for today and iron whatever we will wear to church tomorrow too. That will extract all my energy right there! This babe is moving a lot. Lots of low BH's too and they make me need to pee and send sharp pains through my groin and down my leg. Ouch! Guess she is moving lower!

Sorry if I missed some of you, Have a Great Day!

[Bearsmama]

Caroline-Thanks SO much for your support and sharing your experience.

I don't even know HOW we got down to 1-2x/day. I just think I kept putting him off and kept in mind that his FAVORITE time to nurse was before nap and bedtime. I just kept saying, "Why don't we wait 'til naptime?".
I have been so conflicted about nursing since about January. And I think you're right (and so is the LLL leader). It's this unconditional thing. Although I have to say that I've probably upset DS quite a bit with my wincing and facial expressions (and sometimes other expressions!). In many ways, I want to be weaned completely. BUT I KNOW that it will ease the transition when the new one comes. So, like all else in life, it's not ALL one way of the other. It's a little bit of everything! We'll see how things go. I've accepted that we're not weaned yet, but I really don't want DS to pick up the pace. And I'm wondering HOW I'm going to deny him the extra that I know he'll want.

Anyway, thanks again. Glad to know that you'vev BTDT. And have a great time at the movies! We havent't seen a movie since about 2 weeks BEFORE DS was born! That was a loooooong time ago ....

[kimberlylibby]

LAURIE: That's Martha.

I know Martha. She is an amazing woman. Her Samuel is a tiny, gorgeous angel.

I can't believe you know Martha!! I didn't even finish reading your post, I'm too in shock!!

I went to church with her for 3 years. She is an amazing amazing woman. And her faith is incredible. She and I have talked a LOT over the past few years about losses and such. She is ttc again and having some struggles (not surprising at her age) but she is SO upbeat and faithful despite it.

Kimberly

[lena_girl]

Kimberly- I'm so sorry to hear what a hard time you've had. I am really impressed by how upbeat you seem to be despite the fears I'm sure you still have. In my first pregnancy it didn't let myself breathe easy until I reached 22 or so weeks and there was a possiblity of DS surviving outside the womb (small, but there) I felt this way just based on that it seemed to easy that we got pregnant the first time we tried. I can't imagine how much fear you must have had with the pregnancy history you've had. What a wonderful gift God is blessing you with Just think, your last pregnancy is your best pegnancy! And hopefully you'll reach your goal (38w)

Bears- I really understand your feelings. I had a lot of struggles with nursing DS around 16/17 months or so. He was still nursing about every 2 hours, even at night. He wasn't eating food and his weight was slipping (we were very worried for a while). I just felt so frustrated with the whole thing. I decided to wean him so I tried and he didn't like it. So I stopped trying. A few weeks later I tried again and he seemed okay about it, so we did it. I have really mixed feelings about what I did. On one hand my frustration was gone which helped our relationship, and he started to eat, on the other hand I felt so bad about not letting him make the choice and taking something so important away from him. I still feel guilty about it sometimes, like when I read of some of you lovely ladies who are still nursing their 2+ year olds. I don't really have any advice or anything for you. I just wanted to share that I understand your frustrations and I think that you know best for you and your son. You know if you are both ready or not. for you in your struggles.

Caroline- I'm glad your swelling went down. It's so hard to eat as well when traveling isn't it?

Ap- man I'm visiting the bathroom a lot too. My babe is really moving too which is wonderful when I really need to GO! My contractions have started to kick in. SOme take my breath away. I had one last night so strong I felt like it was going to break my water! Oh, and I'm not going to talk you out of it, you should see what I've been eating! For my whole pregnancy I've been eating so well, and now I just want to stuff my face with junk. I keep telling myself that I'm craving the sweets and junk b/c the baby is putting a lot of fat right now. I haven't convinced myself yet, but I'm trying!

Dodo- that is so funny! That's how my brain is working right now too.


Sorry if I missed anyone. It takes forever to post a response these days with how chatty we are. I know it's good for me to be able to come here and post my feelings and feel supported thru everything by people going through the same things.

Still hoping for a phone call from DH. Some things I've seen in the news has led me to think he might have to stay a few more days, but if he doesn't get to call me I guess I won't know unless I don't get the normal "I'm home, come pick me up" phone call. It's happened a few times and it's so frustrating! He's due home Mon. *crossing fingers*

Hope you ladies are having a nice weekend. DS is sick so we aren't having much fun. Poor guy. I can't even remember the last time he was sick.

[Solange]

Originally Posted by lena_girl

Still hoping for a phone call from DH. Some things I've seen in the news has led me to think he might have to stay a few more days, but if he doesn't get to call me I guess I won't know unless I don't get the normal "I'm home, come pick me up" phone call. It's happened a few times and it's so frustrating! He's due home Mon. *crossing fingers*

Fingers/toes and legs crossed for you too Lena.....

[kimberlylibby]

Oh Lena!!! MONDAY MONDAY!!! Yippeee!