Leaving HIS last home...

[hahamommy]

Don't get me wrong, this move is in every single way, the right thing for me and the kids. This was my first BIG one without a husband (though I was single for a loooong time before him, those seem easy in comparison), a major decision that we'll look back on and know it changed all our lives forever.
Mitch lived and died in this house. We are moving from the place where the children have the most memories of him, BEing with him. He will not LIVE in our new home, it is ours, mine and my children's. His name isn't on the lease or the mailbox. (Golly, didn't mean to go here.... sniff, sniff)

My real intention for this post is to ask for suggestions on closure for this home... I'm hip to anything... anything special I should burn, incantations, prayers, songs, saints, special mourning/closure rituals ... there are tulips in front, we planted them together in the fall before he died, some I will take and some I will leave, to drive by in ten years and smile at...

Next year, his birthday will be on Father's Day, how ironic...

[lisamarie]

Diana~

I always love your signature!!!

When we moved, it was very, very suddenly after Rob died. At the time, it was the right decision, but we had no closure (if that makes sense). Someone did suggest to me though, have the house blessed & others suggested burning a smudge stick. But IMHO, that isn't celebrating their life.

I think bringing the tulips is a great idea. Take alot of pictures of our home. Its a tough transition~wish I could be more helpful: . Could you and your girls plant something symbolically~to celebrate Mitch's life, your family and honor his memory (like a plant that continues to grow?). Have a reading, tell a story, have the girls even plant a picture of them w/their dad.

Let me know what you guys come up with.

Much Love & Hugs~

Lisa

[Greaseball]

My bro (Harley) and I grew up in Eugene, Oregon but he died several hours away in southern Oregon. It's likely that dh and I will have to leave Oregon someday due to his work, so what I will do is go to places on Harley's birthday that he would have enjoyed, and leave behind a card and his favorite sandwich. But of course I will have to visit his final resting place before we leave, as well as the house where we grew up and the last few places he had stayed at with friends. I guess all I can do is take pictures, since people live there now.

[lilyka]

Wow, I hadn't thought of this yet. Let me think :

You are takeing "the chair" aren't you? That will always be a memoreal to him

leave some pool chemicals under the sink for the pool boys.

Perhaps after everything is moved out Hannah can bless the house with a naked offering to the coffee gods (oh, wait that was your dads coffee wasn't it, oh well, if you need madeline to help with this one just let me know) you all could just run around the house naked in honor of him (after all he did have that effect on people ) End the sacrificing and dancing with a feast where you could just sit on the floor eating teriaki chicken strips, potatoe salad and coke untill you feel like your going to die.

Do you need a video camera?

Write the story of your family for the last three years on the inside of one of the closet walls so that whoever moves in will know who lived there.

Do you still have your placentas? Perhaps you could take a part of each and plant a tree or shrub (trying to envision the perfect plant is there one without leaves on the top and a short trunk?) in mitches honor.

Call me if you need anything. Now I am starting to miss our Mr. Mitch.

[hahamommy]

Thanks Miss Sandra!

I can't believe how cathartic (sp?) your reply was...
The chair was almost left behind (no room), I couldn't bear to think of leaving it after reading your memories. It even has it's own special place: the perfect seat to read, watch tv and see what the kids are doing on the computer, quite the seat of honor
I cried at the memories of Madeline streaking thru my house to strip the sheets off the bed (why?!) and JUMP her little heart out. The naked coffee dance, brought tears to Papa's eyes as we remembered that day, the smell, the mess, the laughs.
Saturday, June 29, I designated as my SAD DAY. I had packed all I could and dealt with all I was willing. I grabbed my stool, supplies, a permanent marker and hid in my closet, basically for the entire day! I cried like I've never cried before, the tears poured from my soul... Not from fear, anger, regret nor disappointment ~ Just pure, soothing Sadness. I found a perfect picture of the four of us from the little b/w photo booth... Once it was taped to the wall, our story, his story came pouring out of me. The LIFE he brought to our lives, the JOY and COMFORT he gave and received in our home... The PEACE he came in search of by moving to SD and the PEACE he found, just by being here. I discovered the PEACE available to me, just by knowing him and being loved by him. I even recanted the water-play birthday party story, the kids insisted I include the time he hit me with the same water balloon three times, in the exact same place!, til I got smart and just stepped on the dang thing! Never at a loss for entertainment with Mitch around!

The new home is great, and all MINE! I still put stuff where he'd like it, because I don't know what else to do

Blessings!