some people...*lil ramble on a sunday morning at work*

[sweet tea]

I love being pregnant.. the kicks...even though I've gained 50 lbs now just like last time....
I really love this short time in life I get to carry and nourish my baby so close.
I love the belly rubs from *almost* strangers and the smiles and the well wishes.

everything except the part about "where are you going to have your baby?"

I almost can't take it anymore... people that just have to tell me every horror story they know about delivering at home or with a midwife.

I can take all the "your butts filling out, your breasts are huge and gosh I can't believe you have 5 weeks left!!" Fine...*insert fake smile/laugh here*

but the unsupportive stories just suck. I know bad things happen sometimes...
but why do people think they should tell me all about it.

yeah..I'm brave...but they're brave to want to have the baby in a hospital too. I mean thats all I can think to say when I get the " you're so brave/crazy" comments *every* 5 minutes.

maternity leave here I come

[Michelle Leigh]

Hugs to you!!

I love being pregnant, too. And, it's worth every bit of cellulite, fat, stretch mark, etc.

Enjoy the last few days!! It's hard to believe they're coming out now, isn't it?!

When people ask, "Where are you having the baby?" and I reply, "At home," they usually say, "Wow, you are so brave." I just smile or laugh. I think going to the hospital is brave. (I mean... to risk getting another episiotomy or whatever else. I don't want to take the chances.) I usually don't explain much to people except that I know for sure that I don't want to labor in the car and dd came so fast, I'd probably have this one in the car for sure. I don't want to have a baby in the car. People usually take that pretty well.

Best wishes to you!!

[kris1225]

Did y'all see this?

http://www.angelfire.com/comics/hathor/cowardice.html

[mealymama]

hee hee...
I was one of those moms who would have called you brave, before my yucky hospital birth. Now that I've BTDT, and have to do it again because insurance won't cover home birth, I am starting to winder if I'm brave enough to NOT stay home and squat in the bathtub

[Jennifer H]

I'm so sorry you are getting all those comments.

I am having a hospital birth, but I get the comments about not getting an epidural.

Them: Don't you just love the moment they put in that epidural?
me: I don't know, I've never had one.
Them: Really? (as they back away like I've just told them I have a personal relationship with a serial killer) I have a really low pain threshhold. You're lucky that you don't feel pain as much as I do.
Me: Well, I don't know about that, labor hurt like hell, but I still have missed out on the spiritual wonder of giving birth without the epidural!!

Me: Don't you think giving birth is one of the most amazing spiritual moments of your life?
Them: Spiritual? Ummm, I guess.
Me: I just felt so bonded to all the women of centuries past. What a gift to fully experience that life giving moment! (I try to look as sappy as possible here). I've felt so empowered each time after giving birth!
Them: Ummmm...
Me: Well, maybe with the epidural it blocks that moment of empowerment.

Grrrrrrr! I do feel that birth is a spiritual and empowering thing, but I play it up even more when I start to hear how dumb I am for doing it as natural as possible!

[oceanbaby]

I think my all time favorite comment when I was pregnant with ds was from my SIL. My inlaws were asking me about my plans for the upcoming birth, and I told them - hospital but natural, no pain meds. And my SIL says to me "You know, giving birth is not about being a martyr."

First of all, she had never had a child at the time, so who how the hell does she know what giving birth is about? Secondly, does she really think I'm so dumb that I didn't think about this at all, and decide that I am choosing what I feel is right for me and my baby, not based on what others think about it? And lastly, hey, thanks for the support!

My mom recently asked her at my babyshower how she felt about me planning a homebirth this time. SIL's response was "You don't want to know."

I too get unsupportive comments from people when they here about my plans for a homebirth, and sometimes it really bothers me.

[ebethmom]

I thought the astonishment over our cloth diaper choice was bad enough. But then we decided to homebirth!

I am really tired of the ignorant comments. Just educate yourselves, folks. Our church threw a baby shower for us yesterday - it was very nice and MUCH appreciated. But I did have to field a gazillion homebirth questions - in front of my vehemently ANTI-homebirth mother. She sat silently and listened to one conversation, then walked away from the others.

I'm also a bit weary of the "you must be SO ready to have this baby!" Not really! We still have some work to do to get ready for her. And I want her to be the biggest, healthiest baby that she can be. (That just floors them!)Ds was born at 38 weeks, and I think he could have used another two weeks in utero.

[Michelle Leigh]

Originally Posted by ebethmom

Just educate yourselves, folks.

That's really all it boils down to... If people would read & learn--or just follow their hearts rather than automatically do what 97% of the population does it would be wonderful.

If I'd been more educated when I was pregnant with dd, I would have birthed her at home--even though I couldn't find the assistance I wanted at the time. Now I realize that it's un-needed. Really. Moms have been doing this for a long, long time.

And, I remember being so shocked about extended breastfeeding--anybody over age 2! Now that I'm more educated, it's seems so natural/normal.

And, so many other things... like cloth diapers. I was led to believe that you couldn't do cloth diapers without a diaper service when I pregnant with dd. Hello? Did they have diaper service a few decades ago? :LOL :LOL

[happay]

I guess I don't like any comments directed toward me on how I should or should not be planning my birth. In the grocery store last week the woman giving out watermelon samples asked me if I was getting an epidural. When I said no, she went into how natural birth was the best way to go and epidurals were bad and on and on in lecture format. I just wanted to be left alone, I had already made my decision. Then she went into how it is better to have a boy first. OMG! And of course, I was with DH and he just kept standing there, amused by the woman. I just wanted to get out of there. I know she could have been telling me the opposite of what I already have decided on the epidural but really, why do people talk to me? Do you think I can just tell strangers who approach me that I would rather not discuss it?

[mLeroux]

Originally Posted by Jennifer H

Them: Really? (as they back away like I've just told them I have a personal relationship with a serial killer) I have a really low pain threshhold.

lol that was funny! This is my 4th and 4th homebirth as well. People that know me have given up with the comments already but when I went to get an u/s at around 5 months the lady at the place was like "And who is your OB again?" I was like "oh no my MW is ..." she is like "midwife??? no no no you must use an ob" well I felt like bothering her a bit since at this point these comments dont really bother me much I go ahead and tell her Im also having a HB and that Ive had all my kids with the same MW I dont know if she wanted to laugh or cry lol...anyway I think as the years go by it gets better. Not with the stupid comments but the way we see and feel about them.

But I do sense (and my MW says the same thing) that some women feel sort of threatned that another woman would forgo the epidural or possibly want to birth with no meds or at home.

Michelle
edd 7/7 #4