June 27-July 3! - Page 2

[Ceili]

Originally Posted by LizD

so, who's left? can we have a quick roll call? i want a clearer idea of who to keep in mind!

I'm still waiting.... not sure who else though. A few back aches and a couple of contractions... but not much else happening. My EDD is tomorrow, but I think I think I may not go until the full moon on friday.

[bandana]

Still waiting here too...my EDD was 6/18, I'm 11 days over, but I feel like it might happen tonight. Yeah, that full moon right around the corner is throwing these babies off!

I think I'm finally having the kind of contractions I should be having to start timing them instead of the BH...how do I know for sure? My MW stripped my membranes today so I've been crampy anyway, but with each contraction now comes a good dose of menstrual-like pain...it's just not like I imagined from reading descriptions...Any thoughts?

~Laura

[3girlsmommy]

Julie- Two of my three girls had really dry cracked feet. The worst part was the undersides of the toes where they connect. Lily has crackes between a couple of toes too. Her feet are getting much better. I think almost all of her skin has peeled off in the past two weeks. I was completly freaked out by that as this was the first time I had a baby that peeled. She was a week early but looked overcooked. I hope things get worked out w/ your mom. It really stinks that just for a short time you can't get the help and attention YOU need.

Birthing vibes to those stilll cooking and snuggles to all those cute little babies!

[mattjule]

Laura-just time them, I say. My early labor had menstrual like ctx, it wasn't until transition that they changed. It is hard to describe, I told my mom that they were strong, but I was able to deal with them better b/c they felt "productive". Like everything was finally working in sync. Up until that point, however, it was just like a really aweful period except that they were semi-regular. It helps if someone else can time them, I know for me it was hard to make sense of it but when someone else can look at the times, they can see an overall pattern. I don't know about anyone else, but mine were always slightly different like 3 min then 5 min then 3 min again, etc. so it was nice for someone else to figure out the average. Don't know if that helps at all. I'll be thinking of you!!

[lilzark]

Our sweet Ava Josephine was born on Saturday June 26 at 7:06pm. Just wanted to let everyone know

It was a beautiful birth at my birth center, and could not have gone any better. We came home on Sunday morning and family and friends seem stunned that we're home already and that it was all so simple. I will try to write a little more about it, over on the birth stories thread.

Congratulations to new mommies on here and thanks to everyone who sent me supportive thoughts on the bad days. It's all been more than worth it.

[LizD]

congrats and welcome ava josephine! what a fab name!

i am not a fan of timing ctx- they can so often peter out and if they get frequent first a lot of people get into labor-mode and use up a lot of energy. when it's labor you'll know! it's like checking dilation; no one knows at what rate you're going to dilate, so internal exams, like timing ctx, don't necessarily tell you anything. just my $.02.

[Greaseball]

Ways my family has managed to annoy me

My stepmother is very nice, but she kept calling Andrea by her middle name, and she told a bunch of people that "she was very big, almost 8 lbs!" Darn it, she was just over 8.5 lbs! I want credit for the extra 9 oz!

My mother comments on how Linda "has a temper" just like I do. : She doesn't "have a temper;" she just doesn't like certain things and isn't going to be quiet about it! My mom seems to get this perverse delight in telling me that Linda gets her "temper" from me, so I tried telling her "Well, that must mean I got it from you" but it just went right over her head. She also grabs every opportunity to point out what a difficult baby I was. When I'd hold Andrea a certain way, or use the sling, she would point out that I "hated" all that stuff and wouldn't calm down the way other babies did. Gee, sorry to make things hard on you! :

My dh is always taking the kids to the park before I'm up and ready to go. Sometimes he asks, "Oh, did you want to come with us?" But he asks right as he's leaving, when he can see that I haven't eaten or showered! I also wish he wouldn't take Andrea, since she doesn't even stay awake to enjoy it and it means he has to dip into the milk supply in the freezer.

[eilonwy]

wow, looks like i posted on the wrong thread. :LOL

things are going very well, i'm recovering from the c-section and I have to say that while it certainly was inconvinient, i'm feeling a heck of a lot better than i was 5 days pp with Eli. :LOL considering the fact that it was an emergency surgery, things went really really well. it was all good once mike got into the room, though of course my niece was (is) very upset that once again she didn't get to witness the birth. she's really intent on someone in the family having a homebirth or at least a hospital birth that she can watch. :LOL

tandem nursing is going fairly well, eli was a bit jealous in the beginning, and getting them both situated around my incision was a bit of work at first, but now i'm just loving it. it seems that i'm doomed to a huge oversuply, though. after eli went to bed last night, i woke up and nursed rivkah and then was forced to piump to alleviate the pain in my left rbeast. 5 oz!!!! and i didn't flatten it, even, i just pumped enough that I could breathe again! crazy stuff, that milk! :LOL

hm, less than a minute. time to go, i think i hope to be back online soon!

[Modesto Doula]

Welcome to the new babies!! Rowan, Sadie, Ava, what beautiful names! Congrats mommies, I hope all is going well!!

Little Braden is growing big!! Today (at 2.5 weeks) he weighed 9,14! Thats two pounds up from his birthweight already! I thought I was the only person who could gain a pound a week! He's already grown out of some of his newborn clothes and hes pushing the limits on the smallest of the diaper covers. (Not to mention soaking every single dipe in sight...) I know my other two gained like this in the beginning, but its still amazing to watch. And more amazing that he is now as large as one of my good friend's babies are at birth! i cant imagine giving birth to him at this size!

Im not having any funky sad stuff. I am having a lot of anger/frustration problems. My older two children refuse to listen to me anymore, since most of the time Im just giving orders from the couch. Nursing a baby who wont nurse in the sling makes it tough to help the kiddos clean up, and impossible to be an enforcer of discipline. They run wild all over the house every moment they can. My 4 yr old just blithly ignores me or straight up disobeys. My two year old just loves making tremendous disasters and is zero clean up help. Ive gotten to the point where Im yelling at them all the time to get off the kitchen counters, out of the fridge, stop eating/pouring out the salt, get out of the bathroom... you name it. They are driving me crazy! Ive gotten to the point where Im going to put up a series of baby gates they cant cross and put most of their toys in the garage to keep them from making a mess so big I cant live in it. I feel like I shouldn't have to do that though, that my 4.5 yr old should be more responsible and be more help. Is it just me? Should she know better than to flood the bathroom floor, or let her brother go play in the (off limits) back yard? The most awful thing is the only time that she listens is when I threaten to spank, which I HATE to do...

With DH, the frustration/anger has moved into the range of RAGE a few times. I get SO PISSED at him. I havent yelled at him yet, but Im sure its on its way. He makes plans without asking me (he does ask me if its alright, but usually its pretty clear hes just telling me what he's going to do, since he already made the commitment), plays endless computer games, complains about the house being a wreck, and for some reason cant take care of our children. I left with the baby yesterday for a while, and when I got home the house was clean and kids asleep. But the didnt eat dinner- just junk snacks and all they did was watch tv while he played on the computer. And they went to sleep three hours early, so at bed time both of them were up and one of them is hungry, at the exact same time im stuck nursing Braden for an hour and a half trying to get him to sleep. DH? Just rolls over in bed and complains that he has to get up early to go to work, and goes to sleep.
Anyway, he has all this time to go out, play D&D and star wars while im nursing, changing, cleaning up, doing dishes, laundry etc. WTF? Its like he forgot that caring for the baby was a lot of work cause he still thinks hes doing his fair share by cooking and taking out the trash. every moment i have without babe in arms is spent keeping house. I have to ask him to hold the baby. 10 minutes later Braden's in the damn bouncy seat fussing to be held and hes in the den... GRR... I might seriously have to go off on him.
sorry to be so long... Im not sure if I need anger managment or if I just need to start being abusive...

[seedling]

Congrats Mommies! Quite alot of new babes born ....

I'm not finding any me time these days so posting is increasingly difficult. Got mastitis this weekend and felt like dying for two days ... feel better but am still lumpy and am feeling so wrecked about it. I feel like somehow guilty and at the same time clueless as to how I got it. Flora is gaining well though so I feel very grateful for that. I'm so worried about these lumps and am just overwhelmed by how to best heal ... all this timed perfectly with DH's return to work so that I feel even more overwhelmed than I did last week. I'm supposed to be doing hot compresses, drinking a glass of water at each nursing (which is supposed to be more frequent), yadda, yadda, yadda, all this other stuff to take care of myself when I'm at home with a 3 year old and a newborn by myself and sometimes find that it's two hours before I've been able to do something BASIC like brush my teeth for the morning. I've had two diff people give me shower/bath goodies and say things like "and this is for taking care of you" and while it's a totally nice gesture it makes me want to hurl the d*mn bottle of soap at their heads and scream "and exactly when the f*** is that supposed to happen?!" I'm really, really overwhelmed right now.

Anyway, I just bounced Flora back to sleep and as it's 4:47 am here, I'd best try to get a few more hours before DD wakes up.

Sorry to be so down and so about me.

[dharmama]

seedling and Modesto Doula ~ I feel your pain (and I don't have toddler(s) to take care of too)!!

DH has been working 12+ hour days. It's been SO hard on both of us. He feels guilty because he's gone so much...I feel overwhelmed because well...he's gone so much.

Yesterday he said he was going to try to be home around 7 p.m. At about 6 I was starting to lose my sh*t but kept thinking one more hour...one more hour. Lily was in her inconsolable fussy period...I was starving....all the critters were hungry. It was just all bad. At 6:30 he called to tell me that he had to work for at least another hour (plus 45 min commute) and I just burst into tears.

Luckily my mom and sis came down and rescued me. It was SUCH a relief to have people there to hand her off to so I could finish the laundry, feed the critters, go to the bathroom, and then just crash on the couch.

They stayed until John got home at about 9:30.

Today he's up and out the door bright and early again but hopefully he won't be real late tonight.

Crying baby....

[mattjule]

Lilzark-Ava is older than Rowan by 9 minutes! How cool is that?

I have helpers right now but bedtime is hard for us. Rowan gets wolfishly hungry in the evening and Tain has always nursed to sleep. I have figured out how to nurse yhem at the same time while sitting, but not when lying down. Last night dh offered to take Rowan andlet him suck his finger while I put Tain down, but Rowan was already fussing. I felt like saying "Rowan NEEDS to nurse, Tain only wants to" then felt bad that I was discounting Tain's emotional needs, especially when he has been so good about Rowan. Plus, I am going to have to figure something out b/c I will be on my own at bedtime in a couple months. Then, of course, Tain likes to stick to my back and I am wedged between the two kids, unable to move and super sweaty. meanwhile, on the other side of our huge, king sized bed my dh sleeps obliviously. arg. everything else is going well, however, tho i keep waiting for the ball to drop, yk? dh wants to bbq over at bro's house tonight-after i told him I need to stay at home and not do anything for the next couple days. still haven't decided what i am going to do about that. well, typing one-handed sure takes a long time. Patience and peace to all new mommies and lots of strong labor vibes to those still left!!

[Greaseball]

Andrea slept for six hours last night! Unfortunately it was wasted on me because for some reason, I didn't sleep at all until 4 am! Probably because I had this huge espresso drink before my evening class. Now I'm all tired, I have to go to class again soon, but I'm afraid to drink coffee because it might happen all over again.

Soon, though, it will all straighten out...

She needs so much attention during the day that sometimes I have to ignore Linda. Poor Linda. She's been great with Andrea but it's probably harder on her than it looks to us.

[LizD]

Brooke, start on those beatings! to everyone else who's stretched a bit thin. We (dh and I) had our first senseless argument in a while but I don't think it was connected to anything postpartum. This Rowan is more like a moss than a tree; I'm the tree and he clings all day, all the time. He doesn't sleep lying down away from me, in Moses basket, my bed, playpen, bouncy seat, carseat (unless the car is driving and even then we don't have long). If I am holding him or sleeping in bed with him he sleeps fine, a few hours at a time. He likes sucking his sister's thumb, so she can keep him calm for a few minutes. I am going to BRU to get a baby bjorn so I can carry him more or less hands-free. I don't really like the sling with a newborn.

My inlaws are in town but have their other granddaughter with them, who is almost seven but acts more like a poorly-behaved almost four. They say she has "issues" but I am skeptical. She seems a lot meaner than children I have known with things like aspberger's syndrome, sensory integration problems, etc. At any rate they are always very worried about her and what she is doing and how she will react, and she says "no" to everything, and they listen to her, so I am exhausted after spending the day with them. I also don't like being around unpleasant children. I think she is merely overprotected, spoiled and watched far too closely. My daughter has no patience with her, which is unfortunate. Her 11 year old cousin plays well with monster niece but my daughter just ignores her or says she's going to read or do something else, if she's obnoxious and then my niece starts screaming. my inlaws spoil her terribly and that makes me really mad, because years ago they said our AP lifestyle was due to some insanity on my part and I was overprotective. Meanwhile they have created the monster and my kid has never given anyone any trouble (knock wood). My niece also doesn't like her grandparents paying any attention to baby Rowan or referring to him by name or even as "the baby." We see her once a year at most and she still exhausts us utterly. I'd have beaten her long, long ago. And as such an AP parent, for me to be thinking before lunch, "someone please slap this child!", you know it's bad. ah, family. It also annoys me because my mil picked this time to bring her granddaughter when my daughter, her first grandchild, could probably really have used some undivided attention right now, and no one thinks of that, but everyone has to stop what they're doing when my niece doesn't like how we're seated at the dinner table. But, this is why we're not close to them. I feel bad because they don't really understand us and probably never will.

Sorry for my own rant! My mother-in-law and her friends are very generous, though, and most of her lady-friends have gotten us BRU gift certificates. I might weaken and buy a new peg perego, though I will be ashamed to spend so much on a stroller! There's not much else we'll need from there except a highchair, and I think all-wood ones are only online anyway.

My husband works completely erratic days and hours and is going to the bahamas to work for a few days this weekend. Last weekend he was away overnight in Chicago. I don't mind being alone, though, I rather like it.

happy labors!

[mattjule]

LizD-not only do we both have Rowans, we both have obnoxious family! My mom brought my 1 yo niece with her (my sis decided she HAD to move from Alaska to here the week I was due ) and has has her ever since. She was supposed to hand her off to her other gma who was here visiting, but other gma has not held up her end of the bargain. Hard to blame her, my sis didn't tell her anything so she showed up and had this baby thrust upon her. But, damnit, we aren't her parents and Tain is really struggling with her and her FATHER lives in town. Why doesn't he have her most of the time? My sis's car has broken down 3 times so far, but she is in OR now so hopefully she will get here in the next day or so. I just hate it when family doesn't think about you when they are supposedly coming to support you.

Bedtime still sucked last night and I think I am going to have to wean Tain. His suck is too vigorous and his teeth are a problem. I honestly think he bruises my tissues-like when you turn the breast pump too high. As hard as it will be emotionally, it isn't right to continue when Rowan is the one who suffers for it. I don't want to cringe or tense when he nurses, especially when he hasn't caused the pain in the first place. It sucks all around, but I don't see another option. I have tried to work with Tain on his nursing his whole life and not much has changed. Besides, he seems to think he doesn't have to eat food anymore, he can just nurse.

Well, I am off to hunt for regular underwear in my pre-baby boxes. Have a great day!

[mattjule]

does anyone know what day it is?

[dharmama]

does anyone know what day it is?

:LOL I have been saying that for the last two weeks! (Oh and It's Thursday BTW )

[dharmama]

PS ~ I finally finished Lily's birth story!!

What a powerful process writing it out is!!

[LizD]

Julie- have you looked at the new LLL book on tandem nursing? At least I think it's new. Maybe it's just newly advertised. Anyway I ordered it for a friend who is pg and has a 1 1/2 year old and under a lot of social pressure to wean the "big" one. I just wonder if there are some ways to get past the discomfort and/or annoyance so you don't have to wean your big guy.

Even after sleeping on it I am still annoyed with the in-laws. I feel my daughter always gets the short end of the stick and anyone who doesn't join in spoiling my niece and keeping her happy starts sliding down my mother-in-law's list. I told my daughter this morning she was just fine with her cousin, it's ok if she doesn't want to play with her, and it is not at all her responsibility to keep the little monster entertained and happy. She deserves time with her grandparents too.

I also notice I don't feel good about my parents-in-law when I see them defer to this little kid, allow her to interrupt them, or me, or my kid, or my husband. We didn't see a cousin of my own much when I was small and my dad told me years later it was mostly because she was so spoiled he couldn't stand to see his sister, her mother, treated that way and acting that way.

But this is straying away from pregnancy-birth-June related issues! It is exhausting still to have to deal with all this crap when there's a new baby. It shows nothing will make people rise above their nonsense. You as the new mom figure this is the one time in your life when you and the babe will be the center of attention whether you like it or not, and that you deserve to be foremost in consideration of your comfort, etc.

So, thank my stars this baby was born three weeks ago. I was really worried he'd be born while they were here and that would be awful. Also thankful they do not stay with us, as I could not possibly handle that while trying just to enjoy my lovely children and my messy house and all the things I would like to get to. Some houseguests are wonderful and I wish we didn't live so far from certain friends and they could come stay with me; other "guests" are like an energy sink in the middle of the house and try though you might to do your own thing they sap everything. This is such a vulnerable time, so much happening emotionally and physically and psychologically, the wrong company can become a big deal. Do other new mothers feel as tender? I feel less sensitive than I did the first time, and I no longer care about my inlaws enough to get mad, but I looked at some photos on an anticircumcision site last night and got very upset, more so than I would at any other time.

People are knocking at the door and all kinds of madness. Must dash. Lots of happy vibes to everyone!

[seedling]

Erin, that was a really beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it.

I feel like I need to whisper this lest I jinx myself, but I think the mastitis is getting better. The fever has been gone for several days and I've noticed a decreased redness/hardness too. I am so pleased.

I slept from 12-6 last night with only a couple nursings that I pretty much slept thru. Flora seems less gassy/fussy right now .... I actually got her back to sleep on my chest by 7:00 this morning and dozed on the couch until 9:30 when my oldest woke me up. I've no idea how long she'd been up. I took her to a friend's house for the day and am looking forward to at least three solid hours of just me and Flora time (and if Flora sleeps, some much needed me time). My DH is taking DD to a poetry read tonight (a work comittment thing) so that's some more time there. I think I might make it thru the day without a crying jag.

Julie, that whole niece thing sounds incredibly hard. I can't believe your sister. That would REALLY make me wacko.

Okay, well, I'm off of here. Want to make use of my quiet couch time.