Homework!! - Page 2

[Greaseball]

I've often wondered how much power a parent has in this situation. I could always say "Sorry, but my child is only six years old and I've decided she is only to do ten minutes of homework a night, unless she herself chooses to do more." Then the teacher could just say "Well then, she doesn't go to second grade!"

[bestjob]

Maybe the school my daughter goes to is very strange, but I suspect that if you wanted to reduce the amount of homework the child was doing, the teachers wouldn't mind very much at all. They are almost all mothers, and they know that parents know their own children best. There is a section on the report card about homework completion, and the child would get a poor mark on that, but if everyone stayed calm about it, the child probably would as well. If the child was struggling to keep up, the teachers would likely suggest some different approaches to education for that child.

Children are all different. My daughter could have done the 100 adding problems in about 10 minutes, so for her it wouldn't have been a big deal to get that homework done. I think, on the other hand, that that is because she is already "expert" at such work and she wouldn't have needed the homework in the first place. For children who are really struggling with the concept of adding, the homework would have been too hard and they should not have had it assigned. Giving feedback to the teacher about what is going on with homework is not "rocking the boat" if it is presented in the spirit of helping your child get the best education possible.

[LunaMoom]

I'm fairly lucky,most of the time my dd does her homework without difficulty. In Kindergarten she had 10 spelling words a week and had to write them,I can't believe you're daughter is just tracing letters,maybe she's bored? As for going to the teacher to reduce homework I wonder what kind of message that sends to children? I mean life is full of responsibilities and chores,not all being things we are thrilled to do. Some days my husband would rather not go to work,but what if he just blew it off? Sometimes I don't feel like making dinner,should everybody going hungry so I can lay on my rear end? I tell my daughter that getting a good education is her job right now,and she needs to take advantage of every opportunity that is available to her to make a better life for herself in the future via a college education so she might have a job that's rewarding for her. The real world doesn't cut you much slack,kids need to get ready for it.

[bestjob]

Making homework flexible for children is really essential to giving them the feeling that they have some control over their work. For some children, that means reducing the amount of homework so they aren't overwhelmed. The same thing happens with preparing dinner: some families get Cordon Bleu every night, and some get reheated lasagna. Everyone gets dinner, but it depends on what the cook can manage that day.

[mommy22]

I didn't mean to imply that I go to the teachers to reduce the amount of homework just so that my kids don't have to do as much. I look at the kind of work they are doing. If they are being sent home 100 math problems that he can essentially do with his eyes closed, then what's the point. I only go to the teachers if the work is below their level, and then I ask for more challenging work that would better serve them. If the work is too difficult and therefore frustrating him and making him feel like a loser, then I ask that the amount be reduced in order to cause less stress. Children need a comfortable atmosphere to do their best. The idea of school is to get an education, not just see who can complete the work.

[Greaseball]

Well, the number one most important job for MY kid is to have as much fun as possible! Come to think of it, that's the most important job for me, too. I don't believe that having fun is something you do only after all the work is done.

If teachers don't know how to assign homework that is fun and interesting and that the child can't wait to dig into, there is something really wrong with the teacher and the school. (DH is a teacher. That's what he told me.)

Education is necessary. Having fun is doubly necessary. (For adults and children.) Boring, meaningless "education" is not necessary and I will not allow it to touch my family.

[bestjob]

I'm not sure that all things worth doing are things that would be described as fun. Sometimes it is a pleasure to see the result of hard, slogging, difficult, no-fun work. In those circumstances, the thing to remember is to keep your eye on the prize!

[Greaseball]

I think it depends on what you think is "worth it." And I have to remember that what I think is worth it may be very different than what dd or dh thinks it is.

For example, dh or I may think that high school is worth it because you might get the education you need to go to a certain college (although, on a side note, most colleges take kids who were homeschooled). But dd may think that getting a GED so she can spend more time doing what interests her is what's really "worth it."

I can honestly say that today, I never do anything that is not fun. What I consider fun includes many things that most people would hate doing, partly because I'm weird and partly because I can see how it benefits me in the future.

[miriam]

homework

Dearest Mothering Friends:

I am a private school teacher and I give lots of hmwk because that is what is expected.

However in reality...

I have to grade and correct all of the hmwk as it comes in...sometimes I am not sure that the student did it...or maybe the parent or tutor did it.

When I did student teaching, the master teacher I worked w/ went a hmwk packet home each Monday, and it was due on Friday morning. NOne of anything in that packet had anything to do with what the students were doing that week or any week. She never corrected it or graded it; I was in a subordinant position, so I really could not question any thing she did . She was the MasterTeacher...G-d almost.

I wish I had taken the CA High School proficiency test when I was in High school and left when I was 15 or 16 and then went to the community college and then off to the four year for my B.A. and then my credential.

High School was a total waste of time; so was the homework load that I turned in every day.

My own children did graduate highschool at age 15-16 by taking the CA proficiency exam. They went on to college and did well.

[butterflyma]

As a First Grade teacher, who assigns nightly homework, I feel the need to jump in here (even though I see this thread originated long ago).
My first thought, as I read the original post, was that a good question to ask the teacher is "What is the purpose of my ds/dd's homework?" My next thought was that having a routine time that is set aside as home learning time (whether there is homework or not) would probably help decrease struggles and enhance your role in your child's education. If you were to find activities that you believe are beneficial to your child's learning, this would be an excellent time to supplement the school curriculum.
I also wanted to express the reasons why I personally assign homework in First Grade. (1) to enhance parental involvement (2) to provide students with extra practice for skills that we are working on in school (3) because it is required of me. Homework should not be assigned if it is given just for the sake of assigning homework. There should be a meaningful purpose behind the tasks that we give to children.

Regarding the posts about homework being fun. Fun is in the eye of the beholder. While I do my best to make every activity enjoyable, I am held accountable by the state I teach in to teach every child certain skills and concepts. No matter how creative or supportive I am, there will be some activities that some children will not find enjoyable. (For example, children with fine motor skill deficits often dislike letter formation practice.) Although I do try to find fun ways to practice every skill, you can't please all of the students all of the time.

My advice to the parents of my students who have homework struggles is DON'T. Young children should see homework as valuable, enjoyable and as their own responsibility. Set up a regular space and time where homework is done and encourage/help your child with their homework...But, if your ds/dd does not do their homework, have them return it unfinished to me (their teacher). It is their responsiblity to do their homework, and mine to praise/reward them for completing it or provide consequences if they do not. The consequence that I employ is to have the child finish their homework in class during our free time. Parents are always amazed at how quickly the struggle ends after their child becomes personally accountable.

I am sorry if I have rambled on, I guess this subject struck a nerve. I do hope that your difficulties with homework are resolved.

[mommy22]

I have used the concept of homework being the responsibility of the child, and it works wonderfully. When my children do hassel me, I just tell them that they don't have to do it but it's their responsibility to let the teacher know why, and to take the consequences from the teacher. It takes about 2 seconds for them to be at their desk doing their homework!

[miriam]

homework

To Butterflymaiden and all mothering friends:

I agree w/ everything you said about homework. It should get the parents involved and show them how their little offspring is learning and progressing.

However, many parents bring their own emotional baggage to the task. I had one parent of one of my students smugly tell me her son never does the reading I give him. I told her his grades reflected it (they did). I don't understand why someone would pay to send their child to a school and then brag to the teacher that their child is not doing the assigned work and they will not make him do the work.

As a parent, I made sure that my children did the assigned work, but the work itself was their work. I guided them to dictionaries and encyclopedias and atlases, but the work itself was done by them, alone. A CPS social worker told me this was child abuse.

I guess everything is child abuse today including teaching responsibility.

[mommy22]

That comment from the social worker, in and of itself, reflects the intelligence of those people who are suppose to be protecting our children. It makes me sick!!

And for the parents who take little to no interest in the education of their children...they are the ones that will be complaining about the state of affairs in the world when their children are grown, and blaming it on the education deficits in the world.

[Greaseball]

Re: Elementary schools preparing kids for "real life"

This is from "Talking Back to Ritalin" by psychiatrist Peter Breggin.

"Real life? How many adults will be asked every day to sit silent and still on hard chairs in a room of thirty peers through hour after hour of lectures and rote exercises by single instructors of varying ability? How many will have to raise their hands before being able to go to the bathroom? How many will be unable to leave the room at all during the entire day simply to take a break, get a snack, or call home?...How many will have to contend at work with openly hostile cliques that exclude anyone who seems at all different?" (page 330)

In my years of experience in my chosen field, I have never had to bring work home with me. (Unless I chose to, and when I did I was paid for it.)

County jails typically give inmates more freedom than elementary schools give to their students.

[butterflyma]

Mommy22~ yikes, sounds like that social worker is getting a little overzealous! I have children who come to my class dirty and unfed on a daily basis. Where is the social worker to step in and help them? ( off topic: Yes, I have made referrals to child protective services, but they rarely act on anything ) It sounds to me like you are supporting your children by giving the time and tools that they need to learn!

Miriam~ I too see many parents bringing their emotional baggage to school: concerning homework and every other aspect of education imaginable. I find that parents who have had unsuccessful experiences in school often expect that their child will also, and they come prepared to defend them. Sometimes, I spend entire conferences educating/debriefing parents so that they are able to support their own child, rather than try to resolve their personal educational nightmares. It is worth it if we can later shift our focus to their child.

Greaseball~ I have not read the book you mentioned, it sounds very powerful. I am not one who thinks homework prepares a child for "real life". Homework is part of a child's real life. Homework (ideally) provides children with practice to improve their skills and enrich their minds. That is the job of a child in school, to learn. The classroom Dr. Breggin and you mention sounds pretty horrible (rote exercises, sitting all day long and any likeness to a county jail..aah!). I believe that many classrooms (including mine) are not so horrible of a place to be. I try to create an atmosphere of excited learning and of mutual respect.

As for the responsibilities of a job~ I work at least 10 hours unpaid during the week, almost always have work that I need to bring home, I am unable to take a break when I need one and can only go to the bathroom before school at lunch and when the children leave. Of course, I choose to be in a job where I don't have a lot of freedom during my work hours; I would not trade it for anything. I do understand, however, that children do not make the choice of their learning environment. That is why it is up to us (guardians, parents) to make really good choices when we decide on a learning environment for them and to advocate for them. I urge any parent who sees that their child is in a classroom that they are uncomfortable with, or where their child is being given work that seems unfair, to communicate and work with their child's teacher until a better arrangement is made or to find a different/better learning environment. (just my lil ol opinion
)