I definately get overwhelmed. I had no clue how to run a home when I became a sahm. Dh is the breadwinner and has always had long school and/or work hours. I try to take time to unwind and let things go without feeling guilty about it, but I would love to have a more organized and cleaner home. I was sick for a few days, and I'm still catching up on the dishes and everything. I never want to be sick again, I spent the whole time watching the house fall apart, knowing that I would have to put it back together again while dealing with the kids. I want to just do it and get it done, but the kids (understandably) go crazy if I just work all day. So I have all this to catch up on, I'm still regaining my strength, and we just took our new kitten to the vet's yesterday and found out she has fleas. She's an indoor cat, but came from a barn cat litter. The vet said we probably don't have them in our house, but the boys and I have a lot of little bites -- I thought it was from going outside more now that the weather is nice and it's bug season. Nope. So now I'm looking at getting rid of the fleas on top of working through the dishes, the laundry (slow going with no dryer), restoring order to the bedrooms, cleaning the bathrooms (they were already overdue for a cleaning when I got sick), and all the other little things. She sleeps in our beds and on the couches, so I'm assuming that they are there, too. We're also going away in less than two weeks, so I have to prepare for that -- it will likely be a long trip for the boys and I, dh has about a week off, but then we'll stay with the grandparents for another 2 or 3 weeks. I wanted to get flatfold diapers made before then. I'm tempted to just buy a bunch, I know they are cheap, but money is really tight right now, and I would prefer to make them from second-hand stuff. I also have to prepare a woman's education night at our church for the day before we go, and I'm helping to teach one of the classes, and I have to basically organize the nights for August and September too, since I'll be away and then having a baby. I had planned to have our freezer full of meals to thaw for when the baby is born, and also wanted to go to pyo's this summer to get veggies and berries to freeze too. I don't think that's going to happen. I often feel like if we could just get the house organized and get into a routine, there would be so much time for other things. We just started reading Little House in the Big Woods again last night, and it starts off in the fall, when all sorts of food is being laid up for the winter. I can't imagine how Ma did it all! I read those books when I was little and have always had this romantic idea about pioneer life, and I would love to have a little farm and we could grow our own food and be more self reliant, yadda yadda yadda... then I have times like this when I feel like I'm drowning and I wonder how I could possibly handle it all.
So, I'm relieved to see that I'm not the only mom who feels overwhelmed. I mean, I wish you all weren't overwhelmed, but I don't feel like such a failure knowing that I'm not the only one. I know I need to let go of some expectations. It's not fair to the kids for me to be grumpy because I'm trying to get housework done all day and telling them the whole time to just go play on their own. I'm even tempted to use the paper plates and bowls I have sitting around from a dinner I helped out with until I can get the dishes under control.
: Or to get our dishwasher fixed. And I think I will use a mother's helper. I have a friend whose daughter is 12 and itching to babysit. I just don't like having strangers in my house when it's upside down and the dishes have been sitting for... almost a week (!) and the laundry's all over the hall, etc. But the kids love her and I need a break, so I think it's a win-win situation.
Thanks for letting me vent