Would you knowingly buy from a WAHM who doesn't practice AP? - Page 2

[NowOrNever]

I prefer not to judge and accept people for who they are. If I like the products, I'll buy them.

[MelMel]

this thread is funny. over a year and a half ago, when i started sewing, i made lots of product and thought i was doing something nice and helping other moms while making a few bucks for my family...but the more i tried to do, the more detached i got from my own dd. she lived in the sling, usually... but i couldnt sew with her in it, and when i looked at her one day in a bouncy seat looking upset, and realized she had probably been in there for over an hour while i was just 'finishing' some stuff up...i had to re-evaluate what i was doing and where i was going with this.

so i stopped, and started up again only when it didnt take anything from her (naps, or after she was mobile and wanted to play by herself) and we are all happier....poorer, but happier :LOL

so while at first i was like 'huh, this thread is insanely judgemental, who cares what a mom does??' it made sense when I thought about it. i could of popped on a video or let her cry in another room and made and sold alot more....i am sure lots of moms probably make those decisions daily....and maybe the baby doesnt always win

[Carolinamidwife]

Hmm... not of she were an Ezzo-type freak. I try to put my money where my mouth is on all issues, I wouldn't stop at parenting issues. She wouldn't have to be a homebirthing, babywearing, co-sleeper but she could also not be a spanking CIO mom.

[nym]

Yes, I would.

[Aherne]

How do you really know if you are supporting a wahm so she can stay home, or just supporting her glass unicorn collection? Either way, it is NONE of my business. If I knew she was using the money to buy crank, well, then that is different

Most diaper moms are pretty attentive to their kids. I know the main reason I am slowing/closing is because I have been too *un-attentive* to my kids for my liking and that interupts my personal view on parenting but should have nothing to do with my actual product. (compared to some mainstream people I pay too much attention to my kids LOL)

Unless of course you are like my FIL and thinks that everything has a vibe and wont eat out because it could have been made with "angry hands" and therefore will harm the harmony of his body

I'm seriously considering putting the kids in a mothers day out 2 days a week so that I can use that time to sew (to prevent closing) Does that make me non AP?



can you tell I have my knickers in a knot in regards to this question?

[Carolinamidwife]

Hey, I never said I don't want my money to go to support a glass unicorn collection! :LOL

I don't care where she is spending her money, that's none of my beeswax for sure. But, I don't buy products tested on animals so I won't buy products made by someone who spanks, etc...

[Aherne]

Originally Posted by Sheena

Hey, I never said I don't want my money to go to support a glass unicorn collection! :LOL

I don't care where she is spending her money, that's none of my beeswax for sure. But, I don't buy products tested on animals so I won't buy products made by someone who spanks, etc...

I do respect that... but bottom line though, I would think it totally an invasion of privacy to email a wahm and ask her if she spanks her children kwim?

[SEEPAE]

wow that Alex land stuff is freaky. Makes you really think about how many people are out there to scam you.

[Ok]

Originally Posted by Aherne

Unless of course you are like my FIL and thinks that everything has a vibe and wont eat out because it could have been made with "angry hands" and therefore will harm the harmony of his body

I'm seriously considering putting the kids in a mothers day out 2 days a week so that I can use that time to sew (to prevent closing) Does that make me non AP?

: at your fil

on the mother's day out time. First, you make an awesome product. (I got one of your pockets off TP and its the only pocket I use in my normal stash). 2nd, I think its important to have mama-time. Sewing can be very cathartic and meditative. 3rd, providing your children with a fun, social environment is good for them. (unless they are really still in the shy stage and would be miserable-- my dd didn't enjoy sunday school until she was almost 3, and my 4yo didn't enjoy sunday school until he was 3.5 and they would've been miserable in MMOs before they accepted social time; my oldest was always happy to enjoy new scenes) Anyway, assuming your children have fun, then you would be providing them with a loving and interesting environment and good change of pace, while also allowing yourself to maintain some very important mama-time.

as for AP in general... "whatever"... I don't know what it means, as its more a checklist and don't know what percent one must check off to be AP. And also must say that love is not a checklist item, and one can do "all the right things" and yet have a child that might feel empty b/c afterall it was a checklist scenario, and not a "love me as I need to be loved" scenario (if you make a child that doesn't like slings live in a sling, then thats not love, eh?).

[ctdoula]

I'm not sure if ya'll should buy anything from me since my dd spends 18 hours a day in the porta-a-crib-jail-type-thing in front of cartoons, in the same diaper, with a bottle of cool-aid propped in her mouth, while I smoke cigarettes, drink Zima and sew in my corner. She also better not cry or I'll give her a whippin.




























: :nana:

Just kidding. I think AP is different for everyone & every family has a different comfort level. As long as i know they're not abusive, etc, I'd buy.

[amicrazyyet]

I think AP is different for everyone & every family has a different comfort level. As long as i know they're not abusive, etc, I'd buy

ITA. I have my own views on parenting that may not fit others views. I would buy from anyone that is a good parent regardless if they fit the 100% AP bill. After all, my version of AP isn't about following a checklist but rather following your gut and hearing your children's needs.

ps. my sons are circ'd don't buy from me

[Book Addict Jen]

Originally Posted by 2much2luv

I just realized the other day that I assume all the diaper WAHMs out there are attachment parents. Is that a silly assumption? Do you assume that too? Would you buy from a WAHM if you knew she didn't or thought she didn't practice AP?

By being a WAHM they are trying to stay at home with thier kids. SO yes~ I support moms staying at home!

[Hey Mama!]

Not really on topic but d*mn, I got scammed by Alex Land! Thanks for the link.

[Staceyhsmom1]

I would unless she blatently stated she was into something wrong or evil, like if on her site she said I support nazi's and had a nazi sign. kwim? That's really far-reaching, but it would have to be extreme. I'm very open-minded and very non-judgemental.

Besides, I have this secret dream about mainstream moms, they are just AP moms waiting to come out of their shell little by little. One of my best-friends who is very mainstream is starting to do more ap things and support ap things, like she used to laugh at me for cd(she was proud of me, but thought I was crazy), but now she spreads the word about cd'ing.

[tippytoes26]

Am I the only one that thinks that's just crossing the line? I mean seriously.. wahms talk to customers and post on boards etc.. about a lot of things. But it seems there is NO privacy when you are a wahm. I see complaints about how some whams aren't "professional" enough, but at the same time, how would you feel if you went to work and you were paid or not paid based on your religion or your parenting style or if you have children by different fathers? It's such a contradiction to expect someone to treat you professionally, but not offer them the same repspect. I think wahms deserve some kind of privacy. I know of Christian mamas who won't buy from wahms who are atheist and I know atheist mamas who won't buy from Christian wahms and it boggles my mind. We pay our mortgages, buy gas at the local quick stop, and buy our groceries all without ever considering how the owner raises his or her children or what church they do or don't attend or if they have ever smoked dope. I know more about some wahms than I do about my own sister. I see the relevance of the questin to some degree, but more than that, I know that wahms deserve some privacy. They aren't a nanny in your home, so how they choose to parent shouldn't even be a topic you know anything about, nonetheless make a shopping decision based on it. And if they choose to share that information in public, I don't think it's right to use that information in your puchasing decisions. I guess I just feel like when a wahm opens her life to her customers and on a public forum, she just wants to be one of the crowd. She just wants to talk and share etc like everyone else.. not have her business suffer for her openness. Or, worse.. that she would feel like she has to lie about her choice to use formula or try CIO so that her business doesn't suffer.

Personally, I'm a Christian, and I know LOTS of wahms who are not .. yet I would never avoid buying from them. Their Christianity or lack of doens't affect how much I love or don't a diaper they make. Nor would my lack of purchase encourage them to "see things my way". If they use swats as a means of dicipline, my lack of purchase doesn't make that child's life any easier or encourage that mama to stay apart of online communities that encourage a more AP style.. but probably more the opposite.

Sometimes we expect WAY more of a wahm than is fair to expect. For those of you who do judge a wahm based on her parenting style.. when you shop at a crafts fair and buy your child a pretty knitted blanket, do you ask the maker if she spanks her children or what church she attends before you purchase it? Or course not. So why would you ask a mother who is working hard to work at home (trust me, if these wahsm were selfish people.. they would be working outside the home, doing half the work because they wouldn't also be caring for children and getting twice the pay that they can make working from home) and be near her children? It doesn't make sense to me.




Amber

[Mom4tot]

Well said Amber.

[Ok]

Originally Posted by tippytoes26

So why would you ask a mother who is working hard to work at home (trust me, if these wahsm were selfish people.. they would be working outside the home, doing half the work because they wouldn't also be caring for children and getting twice the pay that they can make working from home) and be near her children? It doesn't make sense to me.

I hope I did not misunderstand you that WOHM moms are selfish??

[HoosierDiaperinMama]

Originally Posted by tippytoes26

Am I the only one that thinks that's just crossing the line? I mean seriously.. wahms talk to customers and post on boards etc.. about a lot of things. But it seems there is NO privacy when you are a wahm. I see complaints about how some whams aren't "professional" enough, but at the same time, how would you feel if you went to work and you were paid or not paid based on your religion or your parenting style or if you have children by different fathers? It's such a contradiction to expect someone to treat you professionally, but not offer them the same repspect. I think wahms deserve some kind of privacy. I know of Christian mamas who won't buy from wahms who are atheist and I know atheist mamas who won't buy from Christian wahms and it boggles my mind. We pay our mortgages, buy gas at the local quick stop, and buy our groceries all without ever considering how the owner raises his or her children or what church they do or don't attend or if they have ever smoked dope. I know more about some wahms than I do about my own sister. I see the relevance of the questin to some degree, but more than that, I know that wahms deserve some privacy. They aren't a nanny in your home, so how they choose to parent shouldn't even be a topic you know anything about, nonetheless make a shopping decision based on it. And if they choose to share that information in public, I don't think it's right to use that information in your puchasing decisions. I guess I just feel like when a wahm opens her life to her customers and on a public forum, she just wants to be one of the crowd. She just wants to talk and share etc like everyone else.. not have her business suffer for her openness. Or, worse.. that she would feel like she has to lie about her choice to use formula or try CIO so that her business doesn't suffer.

Personally, I'm a Christian, and I know LOTS of wahms who are not .. yet I would never avoid buying from them. Their Christianity or lack of doens't affect how much I love or don't a diaper they make. Nor would my lack of purchase encourage them to "see things my way". If they use swats as a means of dicipline, my lack of purchase doesn't make that child's life any easier or encourage that mama to stay apart of online communities that encourage a more AP style.. but probably more the opposite.

Sometimes we expect WAY more of a wahm than is fair to expect. For those of you who do judge a wahm based on her parenting style.. when you shop at a crafts fair and buy your child a pretty knitted blanket, do you ask the maker if she spanks her children or what church she attends before you purchase it? Or course not. So why would you ask a mother who is working hard to work at home (trust me, if these wahsm were selfish people.. they would be working outside the home, doing half the work because they wouldn't also be caring for children and getting twice the pay that they can make working from home) and be near her children? It doesn't make sense to me.




Amber

ITA w/Amber. You said it beautifully!

[2much2luv]

Sheesh! I really didn't mean to get panties in knots over this one. It really was just something I was wondering about. I thought it was an innocent enough musing. Not for super PC MDC I guess.
ANYWAY...I never said I, or anyone else, should go prying into the personal lives of WAHMS. It was just a hypothetical question...a WWYD. Why does everyone have to be so super touchy?!?!? Do you all really think I was attacking WAHMs? I'm sorry if the phrase "attachement parenting" bothers you. My parenting happens to be something I feel very strongly in. Do I have to put a freakin' disclaimer on everything I say...I love everyone no matter what choices they make and I would never think to judge someone on how they choose to parent their children.
For heavens' sake. I thought we were here buying from WAHMs because we care who our money goes to. I don't like my money going to big corps like Walmart and big companies like proctor and gambal (now no one get offended if your brothers sisters cousins aunt works for them or something..)
All I was saying in this thread was that if I knew a WAHM practiced something I strongly disagreed with (spanking or other Ezzo techniques come to mind) I would probably avoid buying from them. I NEVER said we should pry in their lives...that they should have cameras set up in their living rooms. If they choose to share their parenting choices and I choose to disagree and not support them how is that wrong.
: this place is starting to suck.

[tabitha]

of course i would follow my heart-

i dont support things i dont believe in. it isnt about prying into personal lives, i dont think spanking for example *is* personal, i think it is child abuse. so if a site had links to the pearls or ezzo (or other obvious evidence of parenting i strongly dissagree with) i would never support it, and likely urge others not to as well- just as i spread the word about nestle and so on. it is no different than buying organic, if i found a farm was cruel to its workers i would stop giving them money, no matter how great the peaches were!

so it is with the hypothetical WAHM , even if she made the best diapers in the world.

and should that mama stumble across my site and see that i breastfeed, or something that she didnt practice, it is of course her right to shop elsewhere.

these arent trivial choices, that we make as mothers. they are perhaps the most important.

tabitha