Would you knowingly buy from a WAHM who doesn't practice AP? - Page 4

[kimberlylibby]

The Pearls are so far beyond Ezzo. They're disgusting.

They advocate some good things like cosleeping and breastfeeding.

Then the turn around and talk about spanking 6 week olds. Who the heck does that?

My sister, that's who. Ugh. :Puke: I've seen Pearl and Ezzo enforced right in front of my eyes. It's disgusting.

[Mrs. Edwards]

I don't consider myself totally practicing ap'er and I'm sure that most people here that know me IRL would probably think I tend more to mainstream, but I do practice some components of AP. Anyway, so it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other if the WAHM didn't practice AP, because I certainly wouldn't want a WAHM turning MY BUSINESS away if they learned that I only practiced some components of AP. The longer I'm on this board the less I feel welcome sometimes. I used to think that the cloth diapering forum here was the best online and safe from judgment as far as practicing AP or not. I guess I was wrong.... :

[hannahmom]

I really hate when these threads turn into a discussion about the tenets of AP. Yes, AP is a parenting style but here on MDC it has turned into a label that people constantly feel they need to justify to "fit in"! You do not need to fit into a little box or go through the list of what you do to fit that label. I don't know how many threads I've read throughout that start off or end up with posters saying,"well, I'm AP because I bf, cosleep, sling, cloth diaper etc..." because they worry that they will be judged.

Okay rant over... Back OT:

I agree with several posters... I like to support WAHMs as much as I am able. And yes, if it were blatantly (such as other products sold or links on a webpage) obvious that their beliefs did not mesh with mine, I'd most likely take my business elsewhere.

[saharasky]

Having lived with another wahm who from a philosophical point of view parented very much the same way I do ... I am very aware that we all put our philosophies into practice differently ... Both of us were AP/instinctive mothers ... and both of our instincts/ parenting styles had different outcomes which actually made it very difficult for us to live together ...I can't imagine how much harder it would have been had she been a mainstream mama.

I would never judge a wahm on my perceptions of her parenting style ...or even on my opinion of it ... if she makes a good product then I'm all over it. There are other things that I feel very strongly about that might make it very difficult for me to purchase from her but I have yet to encounter this scenario so cannot say what I'd do.

[Mommy2Brittani]

Originally Posted by tabitha

and should that mama stumble across my site and see that i breastfeed, or something that she didnt practice, it is of course her right to shop elsewhere.

Just because someone does not co-sleep or breastfeed, does not make them less of an AP-Mom. I was not able to bf my dd for very long (partly because of med. issues, but also because I was not very well informed) and I don't co-sleep because dh and I have a very tiny double bed, and I am an extremly restless sleeper. It is in the safety of my dd to sleep in her own bed. That does not mean I am any less attached to her, or any less of a good parent.

[scrappinmomof3]

Originally Posted by Mommy2Brittani

Just because someone does not co-sleep or breastfeed, does not make them less of an AP-Mom. I was not able to bf my dd for very long (partly because of med. issues, but also because I was not very well informed) and I don't co-sleep because dh and I have a very tiny double bed, and I am an extremly restless sleeper. It is in the safety of my dd to sleep in her own bed. That does not mean I am any less attached to her, or any less of a good parent.

Very well said. I don't co-sleep. I couldn't bfeed my last b/c of latch on and her being small issues (but not for lack of trying... a REALLLLLYYYYY long time). But I consider myself VERY attached to my children. All of them.

and in her Forrest Gump voice she says And that's all I gotta say about that.

[mum2tori]

It's how a WAHM treats her customers that is the deciding factor for me on whether or not I will buy from her. Not her personal life and beliefs. It's about the product and the service for me. I try to not throw stones.

Sometimes people get very caught up in what is "AP" and what isn't. I personally don't think it's a checklist, I think it's responding to your childs needs. Whatever they may be and not all children have the same needs.

[nurse131]

Dang nab it. I closed the window with the link and now it's gone! Can someone PM me the link for the alexland blog? I assume that reply was removed by the mods.

Thanks mamas

[2much2luv]

Sometimes people get very caught up in what is "AP" and what isn't. I personally don't think it's a checklist, I think it's responding to your childs needs.

ITA I don't understand why so many people have to get so worked up over a phrase. Attachment parenting simply means having a strong attachment to your children. Where in hells name does anyone get the "you aren't welcome here because you don't breastfeed" vibe??? I don't get it. Did anyone say that??? It is true that this is a "natural family living" magazine website so I expect to be able to come here and recieve support for "natural family living" which includes so many things. But that doesn't mean anyone is unsupportive of people who don't fit our personal checklist of parenting practices. I just really wish we could talk about things on here without getting the "I feel left out because I couldn't breastfeed" posts when no one said a thing about you needing to feel bad. There are a billion message boards on the internet where breastfeeding/cosleeping and the like are not supported and actually put down. Is it so bad to have one place on the web where these things are lifted up instead? That's why I'm here, because this is a place where lots of other parents make the same choices I do and we support each other.
Can we just delete this thread? Why does everything have to turn into this mess lately?

[Nada]

Would I still buy from a WAHM who I find out does CIO? - no. I feel VERY strongly about that. Having said that, I would not buy from a local store who's owners I know have let their babies CIO.

Would I look up the information to see if she does? - absolutely not! It would only be if I "find out" somehow she does. Although, I am sure that I won't hear too often that local store owner does CIO. As someone mentioned, most WAHMs lives are not as private. I'm not sure if that's something to be sad about though, some are ok with sharing their personal lives and are proud to do so.

AP in general is not a big concern to me even though I LOVE the AP philosophy and it works great for our family. I do believe, as some have said, that it really is a matter of personal values.

Nada

[HeatherTremblay]

I don't knowingly buy any product (diaper or otherwise) from anyone (wahm or not), if I have determined that they go against a core belief of mine.

Having said that, however, if I were to take the time to delve into such things (most of the time, my replies would probably be met with a well-deserved 'none of your damn business'), I would probably never be able to purchase anything at all for my family! :LOL

There are certain things I try to avoid, of course, such as P&G products, Nestle, etc., but when it comes to wahm diaper makers, for the most part, I think 95% of them are basically following their artistic calling and making a product that coincides with their belief in the environment, babies' comfort, etc.

I find it hard to believe someone like this would not be as meticulous and caring about the rest of what they do for their family. Perhaps that's a pollyanna attitude, but it's the best I've got.

[williamsmommy2002]

I worry more about business practices more than personal practices. I tend to think that if you respect people, you respect your children also. How do you know that the people at the corner store raise their children in a way that you agree with? How are they any different than a WAHM?

That said, if I did find out about something in their life that I thought was horrible I more than likely not buy anything from them. I don't think it is my duty to go looking for it though.

[amicrazyyet]

Where in hells name does anyone get the "you aren't welcome here because you don't breastfeed" vibe??? I don't get it. Did anyone say that???

As a WAHM, I got a bit up in arms over this post, because it makes me feel uncomfortable sharing anything here for fear it could harm my business. It also makes me feel judged by people I don't know not on the quality of my product. So yes, I get the feeling that I am not welcome here unless I am the crunchy of crunchy. It also makes me feel like I am being graded on my parenting skills. It doesn't allow me to be a person and share differing views here for fear of backlash not only personally but in the pocket. All of this is unspoken but nevertheless still an implication.

[Mrs. Edwards]

I've all ready posted but man am I ever confused over what's starting to tick people off in this thread.

First of all, I don't think I'm getting worked up am I? I think I was politely stating my thoughts and my personal opinion how I feel on the whole AP issue. Everyone's definition of AP is different the same way that I don't really consider AP to be directly related to Natural Family Living. I'm sure no one cares about the way I think, and that's fine and I'm not looking for a debate on my definition.

To me AP doesn't have squat to do with cloth diapering or vice versa. If I choose to cloth diaper or use disposables it doesn't make me any more attached to my children or any more on any less responsive to my child's needs.

I could careless who practices AP and who doesn't, but you brought up AP so I posted my opinion on the correlation or lack of between that and CDing. Oh and I do breastfeed BTW

[clothcrazymom]

***tangent alert***

I don't know about anyone else but I have noticed for myself that I make the assumption that all/most of the mom's that are diaper makers are "WAHM"s when in actuality there are quite a few that are not. I always wonder if this bothers anyone...or if they are like me and don't even realize it. Maybe it wouldn't bother them at all any way. I just am thinking about this because there have been several references in this discussion about supporting moms staying at home with their kids...but they may not be.

Ok back on topic....I buy products because they are what works for us. However, if I happen to find out that the person I am thinking of buying from has questionable practices (questionable in my opinion - and that could be business, personal, etc) then I would think seriously about if I wanted to continue business with them. I can't answer specifically because it depends on what the issue specifically would be.

And I'm sorry but I think some of the WAHMs get a bit too touchy about people saying how they feel. People will decide who they want to buy from and what they want to buy based upon whatever they choose and this is true of ANY business. If you think that just because you are a WAHM you are held to higher standards...don't. People choose to not shop in a particular store or buy a particular product for all sorts of personal reasons, often times it has nothing to do at all with quality of a product or business practices. Maybe it's a good thing that you are able to get some inside information as to how potential customers are viewing different businesses.

[kblue]

Originally Posted by mum2tori

Sometimes people get very caught up in what is "AP" and what isn't. I personally don't think it's a checklist, I think it's responding to your childs needs. Whatever they may be and not all children have the same needs.

Oh, I couldn't agree more!!!