uc support thread #6, July - Page 9

[rachel]

Wow, I first want to say that everyone here is such an ecouragement! I haven't read through all of the first 5 threads yet, but plan to! Please add me to the list (due in October)! Although this won't be my first homebirth, it will be my first UC. I have been researching birth, homebirth, UC, etc. since I was pregnant with my 2nd child and it's been a long journey reaching this decision. I feel fully prepared for an UC. You can read my pevious births here My Birth Stories. I look forward to chatting with you all!

[ChildoftheMoon]

Welcome Rachel! You are now on the list

Brandi

[Lula's Mom]

Originally Posted by nikirj

This pregnancy, it's been easy to just say, no, I don't need someone to weigh me every month, hand me some fliers, pat me on the head, shove fingers into my vagina and proclaim everything "fine". I'm tired of asking permission for my body to do what it is going to do - this time, I'm just going to let it.

DH and I don't want to UC because we think it is less dangerous. We want to UC because we believe it will be fulfilling for us individually and as a couple, and because we think it is the ideal way for a baby to come into the world. This has little to do with statistics, even though they do support us, so we haven't really done the numbers research. I know that epidurals increase the risk of c-section, that many, many more healthy babies born to healthy mothers die in a hospital than at home, and that in reality, a doctor doesn't have much of a role at a birth, but I can't convince anyone else of this. It just makes me more confident, and that is what really matters in a UC, after all - I don't have to convince anyone else, as long as *I* believe it, as long as I don't let myself have any hang-ups about it, my body will perform optimally and we'll all be just fine.

If I were more eloquent and could ever organize my thoughts, I could have written this post. This is EXACTLY how I feel. I have a hard time explaining it, even to my partner, though. He's very, very supportive but I know he secretly has reservations, especially when it comes to my doing my own prenatal care. He recently told his mother about my UP and UC plans, and she freaked, as we knew she would. He told her because they are very close and he couldn't stand lying to her when she asked about midwife appointments (personally I think that lying to her would have been in her best interests!)

Maybe I should just print your post out and hand it to people who don't understand; would you mind?

[Carrieanders]

Twins?

I've really enjoyed reading (and silently agreeing) with all the thought here (basicvally on WHY we UC).

I'm wondering if your feelings and reasons apply to multiple births as well?

Elias is already 3 months old, so we're starting to discuss "the next one" What a great sport of a husband I have I never knew I'd love my children so much, but when you have such a crew as mine...well...how can you ever stop?

anyhow since we know I'll often ovulate twice a month (Eli wouldn't be here w/o that fact) and all the women have had fraternals in my family, this would be my 7th pregnancy, I'll be over 30 by then...I'm always wondering about the poss. of twins. at home DEFINATLEY. But I don't know that I'd do the birth with just dh and I if there were 2 babies and placentas to manage??? I'd have to be in the situation to decided for certain. I'd like to, but I feel there are more possible outcomes with 2 then one..you know??

It would be nice to get twice the babies from one birth though

I've been loving my nearly 3yo so much lately and wishng he had been twins. He's such a big, beautiful beefcake of a boy. we shoulda named him "Thor" like I wanted. (Beren works though.)

HOw you all ever thought about this hypothetical (twins)? I know I could manage a surprize twin birth, but the planning of one seems such a big step.

Carrie

[Carrieanders]

Akk

sorry about all the typos! I just got home from a serious eye exam and I'm half-blind from the rops!

[lovemygirl]

Originally Posted by nikirj

DH and I don't want to UC because we think it is less dangerous. We want to UC because we believe it will be fulfilling for us individually and as a couple, and because we think it is the ideal way for a baby to come into the world. This has little to do with statistics, even though they do support us, so we haven't really done the numbers research. I know that epidurals increase the risk of c-section, that many, many more healthy babies born to healthy mothers die in a hospital than at home, and that in reality, a doctor doesn't have much of a role at a birth, but I can't convince anyone else of this. It just makes me more confident, and that is what really matters in a UC, after all - I don't have to convince anyone else, as long as *I* believe it, as long as I don't let myself have any hang-ups about it, my body will perform optimally and we'll all be just fine.

OMGOSH! I love this!! Thanks for posting, this sums it up perfectly for me. Its also a great set of affirmations too!!

[lovemygirl]

New question---

What would you do (if anything) if you baby was born before 37 weeks? At like 32 weeks, or 35 weeks? Just curious if any of you UCer's have thought about it, what you would do etc. Just looking for opinions. Also if baby was born wihtout any complications, looked and acted fine would you take baby to a midwife or a ped for a check up because he or she was born "early"?

My dd came on the day I turned 37 weeks. I am almsot 30 weeks now and have an intense feeling that this one will come early too. Just some thoughts creeping into my brain that I am deaing with now...

Thanks!

[StacyL]

If my baby was born before 37 weeks, I would just do kangaroo care. This means you wear your baby, dressed only in a diaper, between your breasts so you have skin to skin contact 24/7. Your husband can wear the baby too on his chest. This has two major benfefits: your body keeps their body warm, and your breathing pattern regulates theirs and helps prevent moments of apnea. And they can nurse at will, or you can feed them your milk through a dropper or syringe if they don't latch on.

I definitely would not go to the hospital or a doc unless something appeared seriously wrong. They would likely put your baby in the NICU whether it was warranted or not, which would cause more harm than help. You would be isolated nearly completely from your baby, you would have essentially no breastfeeding, they would be given drugs, etc.

Here's a good article on the subject with study references:

http://www.prematurity.org/baby/kangaroo.html

[oshunmama]

to everything Stacy said! I'm at 34 weeks, and my midwife friend even says she wouldn't dare deliver in a hospital at this point.

[Carrieanders]

: I've read all about "kangaroo care" done in hospitals to help severely premature babies. It's sad and kinda funny that this is seen as a miracle that this type of care helps so much. I mean, it's really NO different then how we treat our normal, full term infants. I think it certainly helps, but it should be for ALL babies.

MIL is driving my crazy to finish this crib bumper for SIL (baby born only the day before yesterday) It'll be weeks if not months before they put that baby down!! (it had better be, anyhow

As to the question about prematurity: before 35weeks I'd book it to the hospital..no question. Kangaroo care or not, I think this would be the wisest decision for me. The hospital isn't the seat of all evil, they're misguided in much, but when it comes to technology and saving very early babies..I'm not the expert.

Carrie, mom to : and baby Eli

[Aurora]

My UP/UC baby was born at 34 weeks. When my water broke I was a little scared at first. For a second I thought about heading to the hospital but I took a min. to really connect with baby and listen to my instincts. I knew we would be better off at home and that baby would be well. Labor was fast and ds was born into my arms 3.5 hours after my water broke. He was breathing just fine. He was tired and not interested in nursing though. We did kangaroo care and just loved him and kept him warm. I pumped and syringe fed him a few times that day and by evening he was sucking on the syringe. :LOL I immedietly put him to my breast and he latched on and has pretty much stayed there the past 9 months! :2bfbabe:

I really think that you, as the mama, need to listen to your heart. If I had felt that we needed to be at the hospital I would have gone. No question. The connection I felt with my baby and the way I trusted myself and listened to myself was such a beautiful experience. I took responsibility and in doing so grew by leaps and bounds.

As far as twins go. Sitting here now I can say I would absolutely still have them unassisted. The reality could be different I suppose, if I felt that we needed outside help(I would surely hope NOT, though)I would follow that. It all boils down to trusting myself and listening to my baby and body and God.

[rachel]

Before 34 wks I would definitely go to the hospital, but 34 wks or more I would stay home (unless of course the baby needed more help than I could give).

[Pam_and_Abigail]

Hi, I just want to jump in, even though I haven't read all of this thread, or the last ones. I am 13 weeks with my second, and never heard of UC until this pg, but it keeps drawing me. My last was a hosp. birth, and I am considering hb for this one, but part of me wants to be in charge of the process, and why pay a mw to stand and watch me and try to interfere...
But I am seriously scared at the thought of UC, too. What if something goes wrong? How do you know when you need help? Can I really do this myself? It's an overwhelming concept, but deep down, my inner goddess speaks and says I am meant to bring my baby into this world peacefully and lovingly, and that I am strong.

I need info to show me, dh, and anyone else that this is a safe thing to do, I need answers to questions like "what if something goes wrong?" I don't handle emergencies well, I panick. When dd fell and hit her eyebrow on a dresser handle and bled, I couldn't hold myself together for the few minutes it took for dh to get inside (I didn't know he was taking out the compost). She didn't even need stitches.
Maybe my desire for UC has to do with my recent mentality of "me do it". I want to grow my own food, clothes, etc. Whenever I see something I think, "How can I make it/do it myself?"

[madrone]

If I went into labor before 37 weeks, I would want to try to stop it. I would first try some herbs and if that didn't work, I would go to the hospital. Even if the baby was born in the hospital, I would kangaroo parent him/her and would just show the hospital staff who question me studies. I think I would be worried about why I went into labor early since I did go to 40w6d with DS and would worry if I could have an infection or something that caused the pre-term labor. I don't think I would be comfortable not having a doctor nearby for that reason.

[Hathor]

Hi everyone, I posted my birth story at
http://www.angelfire.com/comics/hathor/birthstory.html

Heather

[laurata]

Hathor-

I LOVE the birth story! The drawings are fab! Congratulations again!!

[Carrieanders]

PLease add this to the roll call

our birth story from 4/10/04

http://pages.ivillage.com/carrieanders/

[ChildoftheMoon]

updated the list with the added stories

Brandi

[Aura_Kitten]

Hathor i went to your site last night just on a whim, to see if you had your birth story up. what a lovely story. i read it to my SO.

it's so inspiring (and i love the drawings!).

thank you for sharing.

[Evergreen]

Awesome story, heather! I met you in Wilmington this March, and can totally 'hear' you telling it in my head!