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Homebirthin' Mama's Thread July 3rd!! - Page 4

post #61 of 149
sarah- so glad your new girl is here.

there is a thread in Life With a Babe for june mamas, (i dont know if there is a seperate july one?) but i must warn you ive never posted because it is very... well how do i say it. mostly it is about pacifiers and how soon can you leave the baby. i read it for awhile and it broke my heart.

my babywoman is just 4 weeks and i would never leave her. i dont know this is all just my feelings. but it seems like we all waited so long for these babies and i went to the thread and its as if no one remembers the longing and waiting and the joy when you first see them!

i wanted to find a discussion about how magickal they are, and of course the sleeplessness and such... anyway i just found it didnt meet my needs.

ok i am rambling. i wanted to start my own life with a babe thread but what would i call it.

tabitha
post #62 of 149
i completely understand you tabitha! I feel the same way and i appreciate and enjoy every minute with my babe. Ive never been seperated from her at all and she is 5 months old and i dont expect to be away from her anytime in the next year or two. Actually I think I have only been out on my own like three times in the last 5 years.. no kidding!
Its interesting when I had my first daughter (almost 12 years ago!) I breastfed her till she was 3.5 years and we coslept and i carried her everywhere and I would never leave her with anyone, people thought i was some kind of kook. But I was just following my natural instincts with no advice from anyone. Im glad i didnt have anyone to influence me as a young mom and im very proud of the way i raised all my children because it has been the biggest gift to ME to have been there for every minute and enjoyed all the pleasure it brings. I really remind myself that you only live this life once and even though some days might be hard and you could be very tired but when will you ever again have a sweet baby in your arms to enjoy so intensely. Children are truly a magikal gift. Im still so caught up in baby romance with M, she is pure joy to me!
I found the life with a babe threads very discouraging to and i wish i knew how to share with people what they are missing without offending so i tend to shy away from there too. Even the pregnancy threads broke my heart and I was so thankful when you started the homebirthing mamas thread so we could share with like minded mamas! THankyou I really only post here i think
I am fortunate I live in a community where all my friends homebirthed their babes and raised them naturally and instinctively so its nice to have other women to share this with and ask advice from without getting funny looks.
Well my kids are starting to get wild and noisy enough from me for now!
I love seeing your babies pics tabitha.. you look like a SuperMAMA with both of them in the sling, very beautiful! Such an amazing mom you are, your children are lucky!
post #63 of 149
Thread Starter 
I went into that thread and it isn't for me at all. I would love to think of a name to start a new thread, but I bet i would manage to offend someone...Maybe we could start something under the Homebirth site, something like...Homebirthed babies!! I could always ask a moderator and see what they say. It is different when you give birth at home. There are other things that we face, like my mother asking me (seriously) if she was OK, because she isn't a fussy baby. Basically asking if she is mentally retarded because I didn't have constant fetal monitoring. By the way, she didn't come to the birth! I still ahve to write the story.

Did I tell you all that Mallaigh came out OP brow presentation. That is so rare. I knew that something wasn't quite "right" though. It was so painful and the pushing was odd.

Anyway, we/I can ask the moderator about a homebirthed babies site.

It is also interesting that with my first baby, I had to get out of the house all by myself almost everyday. Just for 15-30 minutes, but I HAD to. With my second, I would feel the urge about once a week, and with this one, I can't imagine leaving her for a second. Isolation is very powerful for me and that is one thing that I struggle with. I will ask about a new thread so that we can talk more about this.
post #64 of 149
great idea, sarah! i hope we can have a thread!!! i am sorry about your mothers comments. i am sure mallaigh is perfect!!

i dont think less of a mama who wants time to herself, i've just never wanted it ... and certainly not when they are nb!! anyway...i figure ill have plenty of alone time when they are all grown up.

someday when they have all weaned and moved on and i miss nursing them i dont want to have to think about times i could have been snuggling but instead chose 'me' time.

i do plenty for myself, but i can do it with them.

thanks tanja!

tabitha
post #65 of 149
[QUOTE=DoulaSarah] There are other things that we face, like my mother asking me (seriously) if she was OK, because she isn't a fussy baby. Basically asking if she is mentally retarded because I didn't have constant fetal monitoring. By the way, she didn't come to the birth! I still ahve to write the story.
QUOTE]
post #66 of 149
I think you guys have hit on something that I asked about before in my Month group - that people separate attachment/natural parenting from less interventive birthing. For me it all stems from the same place but for many/most it is very separate. I choose my birthing path to bring my child into this world as peacefully as possible and then want to continue to raise them that way.

I AM NOT COMPLAINING OR QUESTIONING - I was simply surprised by the number of people that would breastfeed/cd/cosleep etc but opt for a more medical birth. It really says a lot to me about how we have really stripped down women of their faith in themselves.

OK - don't really have time for the soap box.

Keep the babies coming - I was told I had a good 2 - 3 weeks to go.
post #67 of 149
If you mammas start a homebirthed thread, be sure to count me in after I have my babe. For the first half of my pregnancy I was visting the Baby Center site and reading / posting with my birth group. I'm finally tiring of it because everyone has such a completely different mindset about birth and pregnancy than I do. I fit in much better with the Mothering homebirthers.

I have a question for e/o. Is there something wrong with me because I don't want to cosleep? I am having a natural pregnancy and a homebirth. I am going to use cloth diapers, and wear my baby. So is there something wrong that I have an instinctual aversion to cosleeping? Any thoughts are appreciated.

Monica

edd 11/8 and mamma to : Truman and : Febe
post #68 of 149
monikita- i dont thing there is anything wrong with you. i am sure youre a great mama!

cosleeping is a really healthy choice. research shows it is superior. babies are not designed to sleep alone. i am sure you are very educated and have read the same things i have.

i dont know what it would feel like to have an aversion to it, and i am certainly not preaching, but have you searched your soul for the root of this aversion?

though this seems completely OT: i was at first grossed out by the idea of eating one's own placenta, but as i took the time to really ask myself, why does that gross me out (make me uncomfortable/ seem like a bad idea) i realized that it was just my upbringing. it wasnt really an instinct.

to come full circle, though, when my placenta was born and the midiwves asked me if i wanted them to prepare it, i had an *obviously* instinctual aversion to it! :LOL (i did not eat my placenta, after all that soul searching... o well)

i hope i havent offended you. just musing on your question.

tabitha
post #69 of 149
Monica, I don't think there is anything wrong with you, and also your feelings might change after your baby is born. It is your first, right? When I was pregnant with my first my husband was very opposed to co-sleeping and I didn't think it sounded like it was my thing either. When my son was born it was most definitely his thing though, he wouldn't sleep any other way, and very quickly I learned how wonderful it was too. Now there is nothing I like better than waking up to his warm, sweet-smelling, snuggly body!
post #70 of 149
Thread Starter 
So I will start a thread in the birth and beyond section called Homebirth babies and their stories...


I got the OK.
post #71 of 149
Thread Starter 
Mon- I did want to address the co=sleeping thing too. I don't think that there is anything wrong with not wanting to co-sleep. It really doesn't work for everyone. But you might find that your baby won't sleep without you. And it comes down to getting sleep in the end. For me, I couldn't imagine having to get up every two hours...Mallaigh sleeps from about 11:30p to 9:00a with a wake up time from 5-6am. So I sleep more then I ever did. I feel her rooting and put a boob in the mouth. She never fully wakes, so I don't either. I have created a safe bed for her, which makes me feel less stressed.

For what it is worth, I co-slept with my second two and not my first, and I didn't sleep very well the first time around because I was constantly up. You will find out what works for you and your baby when they get here!!
post #72 of 149
Thanks for the thoughts! It is totally possible that this aversion will go away once I have her - yes, she is my first. I think one of the main things I'm worrying about is her waking DH up, or keeping him awake. He is a VERY light sleeper and has enough trouble as it is. I get to be a SAHM after she is born (yea!!!!) and I worry about DH not getting his sleep and then having to go to work.

I guess we'll just see how it goes. And don't worry, no one offended me! I wanted advice and opinions, that's why I asked!

Monica

edd 11/8 and mamma to : Truman and : Febe
post #73 of 149
Monica - joining in - face that one when the time comes. You have no idea what kind of personality this little one will bring and how it will affect your household. My dh was at first against cosleeping and now with #3 #2 is in the crib and our bed is it and we haven't thought of anything else. When it comes to sleeping and nursing you'll work it out and so will your partner.
post #74 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonikitaUT
I think one of the main things I'm worrying about is her waking DH up, or keeping him awake. He is a VERY light sleeper and has enough trouble as it is. I get to be a SAHM after she is born (yea!!!!) and I worry about DH not getting his sleep and then having to go to work.
[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]He can talk to my dh who also is a light sleeper, he has never ever been woken up in the night by our baby yet and she is 5 months old. IMO everyone gets alot more sleep when you share your bed... a baby whos needs are met quickly doesnt have to make a fuss to be heard. My baby has never made so much as a peep at night.. my two year old on the other hand ..! I share my bed with dh, with baby in the middle and my 2 and 4 year old in a bed right beside us, we have wall to wall bed in our room.
One thing to consider is making your sleeping arrangements very comfortable. I love having the two beds together, that way we can have our space and still have our kids there. Although i would love a king size bed!
But as someone mentioned some babies just dont need or want to co-sleep. I totally agree that just wait untill you meet your baby and what works best for you, but i must say snuggling with my babies has been one of the sweetest things in my life .
ps. i wanted to add that dh slept in the other room for the first two weeks just because i was turning on the light for diaper changes and getting baby to latch on and using the bathroom but other than that it has been all of us.
a good link family beds
post #75 of 149
Monica,

If you're into reading and researching, here is a link from mothering.com's past articles on co-sleeping. I think it was last year that an entire issue was about the safety of co-sleeping/family bed. I think you'll enjoy:

http://www.mothering.com/9-0-0/html/9-4-0/9-4-0.shtml

I've met LOTS of mamas who didn't intend to have a family bed.....but infants and sleepy parents don't really worry about intentions We've had our little ones in our bed from day one, and my dh, mr. light-sleeper himself, is the biggest proponent there is for us all being together. We all just get so much more sleep and everyone's needs are met. For me, I just find it to be so extremely cultural. Biology dictates one thing, our *expectations* another. It's the same for pg, birthing, parenting, etc. Just trust your instincts

Ok, that's my long-winded post for the night!

post #76 of 149
sarah, i know this is sortof OT, but i was thinking we should ask permission for a thread more like the LWAB threads. the thread you made is just for birth stories? dont we already have that in the birth stories forum?

i was thinking a chat thread to talk about our births and babies and how they are growing each day.

anyway just curious what you asked the mod for and what we're allowed ot have.

tabitha
post #77 of 149
Thread Starter 
Tabitha- It is basically life with a babe, I don't know why she wanted me to title it the way I did. But I did tell her that I wanted a life with the babe type of a thing. Maybe I should change the title? I think that it was more to be able to have it where it is, then anything. If I put it under LWAB, I think that I would manage to "offend" someone....what do you think?
post #78 of 149
Thank you all so much for the thoughts and links! I'll read up a little more and see how it goes when she gets here. I just want everyone to be happy.

Last night I had my first dream that I gave birth to her. It was so wonderful! She didn't cry, just looked at me with big, wide open eyes and I held her to me. She was so beautiful, with lots of dark hair. I woke up very happy.

Monica

edd 11/8 and mamma to : Truman and : Febe
post #79 of 149
Thread Starter 
I changed the heading of the new thread that I did...It is now...


Our babies, their stories, and life with a babe...

This is a thread for birthin' mama's and their babies. It is here so that you can tell your story. It is a place to talk about your birth and process your emotions. It is a place to ask questions or vent frustrations. Let's use it well!

It is also a place to talk about our babies and our life with a babe!



What do you think?
post #80 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoulaSarah
If I put it under LWAB, I think that I would manage to "offend" someone....what do you think?
Sarah, I totally agree and that bums me out...

I'm speechless and have nothing to add.

warmly,
claudia
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