My dad thanked me....

[damongeau]

ok my dad and I werent in contact for 16 years so we are still getting to know one another. He had some major issues with his mom (abuse etc.) and he was telling me that one day he was confronting her about some of it, and she asked "where did I go so wrong, and what do you expect me to do about it?" and he snapped back " Well you could start by giving me back my foreskin!" After that story I told him that I didnt have my boy circed, and he said "from one man on behalf of another, thank you so much!" It was nice to hear, and nice to have a grown man express that it was a loss that bothers him....and the start of many very bad parenting practices that deeply hurt him!

[polka123]

[Frankly Speaking]

Even though many men have strong feelings about their circumcision, they rarely speak out in public about it. Many who advocate for circumcision or defend it say "I've never heard of a man who was upset about his circumcision." There are plenty of us out there, it's just not a topic of discussion at Thanksgiving dinner with all of the family gathered around.




Frank

[Stevie]

[Sarah]

I wonder why he asked for something that she could never ever give him rather than asking for something that she could possibly grant him... like an appology, an explanation, a listening ear, or a course of action (like speaking out to her friends about her mistake) Any of those things he might accept as a sign of remorse and a signal of her willingness to make ammends... and in allowing her to take a positive action, he could begin to chisel away at the wall of resentment he has toward her.

The fact that he demanded something she could not ever in a millon years give back to him, seems like he has his mind made up to carry his own hurt without hoping to heal- for as long as she can't fix it. He just asked her to re-affirm for him all the negative feelings he has about having her for a mother... "Sit there and do nothing because you can't fix the harm you have done, no matter how much you want to- what I want from you is impossible, I want what you can't give... I want to hate you to infinity."

What responsibility does he give to his other relatives and the doctor and the culture which played into that picture? What percentage of males born that week at that hospital escaped that knife... precious few I would bet. It's high time that he begin to accept that his circumcision is not evidence of his mother's uniquely personal shortcomings, but was a part of a large scale cultural problem, that would have likely befallen him, even if he had been nurtured by the most perfect parents in town.

If he keeps carrying that anger it's going to keep hurting him. He has got to figure out a way to forgive people and unburden his own heart from all that anger- it's bad for his life. It's reasonable anger, I'm not saying he should just shrug it off... but for how many years is he going to carry resentment that heavy?

Love Sarah