I too am a workin mama with a SAHD- went back to work when my dd was about 19 months and went back to work when my ds was about 16 months. Our kids are homeschooled so DH usually gets those funny stares from all the SAHM activities.
It hasn't always been easy, there are plenty of times that I had those tough emotional days, but this really seems to work out well for our family. DH really has a great sense with children in general, not just with our own and I really needed to get out and try my hand in the work world.
We have definitely had our issues mostly with housework and mealS. Our biggest issue that took us many months to resolve was what NEEDS to get done while I am at work and what can be left hanging around. (He doesn't seem to mind dirty dishes piling up for days at a time, but I think I have finally helped him out of that bad habit. Well, so far anyway....
We are about to have our 3rd child and I have been considering staying home. It is such a hard choice and there are so many emotions envolved. I think that I will stay home for about 12 months, that is the longest they will hold my position for and go back to work then.
I also thought that I was missing out on things. Sometimes it feels like everything!! One thing I am learning is that I will always miss out on things that happen. Even if I tried to sit right next to him/her all day, I would still miss out. But that is only because he/she is living their own little life. Although I share a large part of it with them, there is a whole life of their own they create.
I have been watching my dd and ds grow up and I see them doing so many things that don't involve me at all. I used to say to my DH " You are so lucky to be home and see all these things happen." and he would say things like " Are you kidding, I was busy talking on the phone when that happened, I didn't even get to see it!".
One example is when my ds was learning to ride his bike without training wheels, well sort of. Well, we tried to keep encouraging him to try it on the sidewalk but he wanted nothing to do with that. Then one day, my husband was on the computer,my dd comes running through the house yelling "Come look at Huckleberry! Come look at Huckleberry!". Not knowing what was going on, my husband jumps up and runs in the direction of my daughters voice. He gets to the living room and looks outside to find ds riding his bike up and down the sidewalk, all by himself. I guess ds was ready and didn't feel he needed anyone around to help.
These kids, you just can't stop them from growing up so fast!!!