Birthing class

[banana girl]

We attended our first birthing class last night, and I find my mind keeps returning to the things we talked about there.

I guess what it all comes down to, is that I am suddenly feeling pretty unprepared... I've been sort of coasting along for awhile, being pregnant, registering for gifts, spouting off my intentions and ideals, BUT not really dealing with this concept, of BIRTH. I've never been at a birth, and have to some extent avoided even reading about the mechanics of birth.

I don't really want to have too much " head knowledge" because I really want to trust in my body to do this. However, I don't want to be unprepared and clueless... which could cause me to panick and end up transfering to a hospital.

I am taking Birthing From Within classes, which are definitely not about getting a bunch of info about birth, but about exploring your thoughts, feelings and fears..... Last night, there were a few times where I felt like I really didn't have an answer, that I was unprepared, that perhaps I have been naive......
I guess it is a good thing to be challenged. Maybe I need to put some "work" into getting mentally prepared for birth!

What classes have the rest of you been taking and what has been the most valuable parts of them? Did your classes help you feel empowered about birth? Is it okay for me to suddenly be scared about the reality of birth?

Any thoughts?
Anna Banana

[JenInMpls]

I took hypnobirthing classes and, while it was difficult to me to adjust to the scripts which I found particularly cheesy, it cemented for me the belief that my body is made to do this and will know what to do if I (and those around me) give it the time, support and opportunity.

I find that Birthing from Within - what I read of the book, anyway - focuses a lot on the pain of birthing and ways to deal with that pain. Hypnobirthing told us that our body will feel what our mind tells it to. We were instructed to deal with fears regarding birth and parenthood, which we did, and we watched a number of women give birth using hypnobirthing. Most of them were very remarkable and it was hard to brush off the method after seeing them.

I agree - it is good to know all of the possibilities ahead of time and to know how you will respond to various situations which might arise... but I think it is infinitely more important to focus on your belief that your body is perfectly able to do this. My midwife thinks that it's pretty unreal that I am not afraid of giving birth. Never in my life has anyone indicated to me that there is anything to fear, least of all my mother, so I sometimes do not understand the women who are up in arms with anxiety regarding childbirth. If you feel very much like childbirth is something about which you have no anxiety, or fear, or stress, I would say: hold onto that and don't let anyone make you feel like you need to be scared!!! Educate yourself in the things that you need to understand about your birth and make sure you are working with someone who affirms your faith in yourself.

jen

[mum2tori]

I took a "standard" birthing class at the hospital when I was pregnant with DD. It was a basic explanation of the stages of labor and things to expect. She was very general and basic because she didn't want us to go into the births with too many preconcieved notions and fears. She stressed about doing what felt comfortable for ourselves and to remember that what the hospital staff recommends is ultimately in their best interests and not necessarily what's best for you. And she was an L&D nurse. It was helpful for David more than me I think because he really didn't know what to fully expect at all. (Now he feels like a grizzled ole veteran ).

I still amazes me how totally unresearched I was about birth & the pregnancy in general with my first pregnancy. I wasn't hardly online with it at all, didn't help that my internet contection was less than a 14.7K modem because of where I lived then. Then when I was back in Houston with DSL, I just didn't think about researching that on the internet. I was busy Napstering (those were the days :eyeroll), unpacking and painting the nursery stuff. Now I'm a Googling guru. :LOL

We aren't planning on taking any classes. I'm hoping to work with a friend who's a yoga and massage instructor to try to work on my focus and pain management skillls a little more.

[cottonwood]

I'm not taking a childbirth class so I can't offer much info there. But I'm curious as to what sorts of things were talked about that are making you feel like you're unprepared? Or challenged?

I agree with Jen that Birthing From Within seems to focus on dealing with the pain -- although I love aspects of the book, this was one part of it that really didn't sit well with me. Mainly because it's presented as being not only unavoidable but also necessary. Which is just nonsense. Yes, all women should think about what will happen if the birth is very painful, and how they will deal with it. Because you can't predict how it will be. BUT to just assume that it will be terrible sets you up for a self-fulfilled prophecy. There should be at least as much attention paid to the possibility of the birth being enjoyable and the power of positive thinking.

[HypnoBirthingMom]

Anna,

I completely understand how a childbirth preparation class can make you feel overwhelmed and therefore afraid. Take advantage of this time to prepare and face all of your fears, even those that don't seem like they are about birth: finances, parenting, childcare, relationships, etc. Pain is created when fear and tension are present.

Just remember that birth is a natural, healthy process and is NOT a medical event. Trust your first instinct, "trust in your body" it will not fail you.

Rebecca
HypnoBirthing Pratitioner
& HypnoBirthing Mom

[banana girl]

blueviolet, I think part of what "freaked' me out was the realization that I have sort of avoided thinking too much about the birth itself. I have a hard time visualizing myself in labor. I am a very strong, intuitive and self confident woman and I a feel very confident that I CAN do this. (with or without a class)

During the class we "practiced" pain management techniques by holding ice in our hand.... it seemed dumb to me. I got frustrated with it. Jerome and the other couple seemed really calm about it, while i got antsy and grumpy. She also asked us how much pain we expected labor to be and to rate it from 1 to 100. I got defensive and spouted off about how labor doesn't need to have any pain.... in the right setting. She didn't argue with me, but as part of the exersize then proceed to ask... "What if it is?" I didn't feel like i had a very good answer.

I really enjoyed doing birth art and also enjoyed the "story" she told about a "cave woman" giving birth. (Complete with moaning and grunting and acting out.... ) Was kinda fun.

Maybe I was just irritated that Jerome was being "better behaved" in class than me. He was really getting into it. Silly grumpy pregnant mama!
Anna Banana

[Lazuli]

Our first class isn't until the 25th.....and the nurse is coming to our house for it. I really have no idea what to expect from the classes. We have 4 of them, and they'll all be at our house. I've been reading different books and I feel pretty confident about everything. Hopefully this won't change after taking the classes.

[cottonwood]

I hope you all continue to talk about what exactly is covered in your classes, I'm so interested because I want to teach childbirth education too.

Anna, the ice cube exercise seemed dumb to me too. I've talked to people who felt it was really helpful, but it's just not for me. <shrug> Breathing exercises -- ways to control myself in labor, like with Bradley and Lamaze -- aren't for me either. Needless to say, I will personally not be teaching a "method".

[mum2tori]

The biggest problem you run into is "what is pain and what do you consider painful?" it is so subjective. Some women don't find labor to be "painful" but others do.

Or the pain isn't necessarily a "bad" experience. That's where I think the fear can come in, we are always told that pain is BAD, it doesn't necessarily have to have "bad" connotations. Now that doesn't mean you should avoid dealing with pain (sometimes it is telling you something is wrong).

I remember something David said to me about when he got his tattoos. "It hurts but its a good pain. Which can be a little "addicting" and that's how people end up with LOTS of tattoos. :LOL "It hurts so good."

That can describes labor too... it hurts so good. Maybe because you know it's serving a purpose and you'll have that precious wee one at the end...

It's also amazing how the brain deals with pain. Ask most women that have gone through labor what the pain was like... most can only "vaguely" describe it. Many don't remember any screamning or yelling (until you see the video :LOL). Our brain protects us, otherwise we might never do it again. :LOL

And everyone handles "pain" differently. I get headaches and it wipes me out. David can totally keep functioning with a headache. Now stomach pain makes him wimper like a baby on the couch, me I still keep functioning, I throw up and a few minutes later I'm just doing what needs to be done. (guess it's good that I get the m/s and not him )

Or the dentist that says "there will be a little discomfort"... no that's PAIN!! :LOL

I don't know if any of that really made sense... :LOL Just ignore the incoherent ramblings of the pregnant woman.

[Mom2baldie]

Linda,

So what kinds of things will you be teaching in your CBE classes?

[cottonwood]

Pain is a really touchy subject in childbirth, and I think it's because people tend to think that the way it was for them is the way it is for everybody. I can't tell you how many people I've run across who, because they themselves were able to minimize or eliminate or transform their pain, are completely absolutely convinced that no childbirth sensations are really painful, they are just perceived as being painful because of the laboring woman's mindset/preconceptions/conditioning.

The fact is, different people experience different types and levels of pain with childbirth, for different reasons. This pain is NOT always a figment of the imagination, and it is not always due to fear or unresolved emotional issues or health issues or birthing environment or intervention.

The good news is that when it is a result of these things, it can be avoided by dealing with them. This is one thing that I wish classes like Birthing From Within would address, that often pain is NOT necessary or inherently part of the process, but rather the body's normal reaction to a disturbing of the process.

[cottonwood]

LOL, Lynsey, why all the things I'm always spouting off about here!

There is so much to talk about, the difficulty I'm having is in organizing it all and deciding what to include and what to leave out because of time restrictions.

[MamaAcorn]

I'm loving this thread! I just started teaching my first series of Bradley classes last week. My second class is tomorrow. I took Bradley when I was pregnant last time and was so impressed that I decided to become a teacher. So now, here I am at the same stage of pregnancy as my students teaching my classes. Funny how things work out! I love reading everyone perspectives on things so I know what I should cover in more detail in my classes.

Pam

[msrog]

Anna, please read up! I think lack of good information is the main reason moms go into labor afraid, which makes them tighten up and work against their uterus, which in fact DOES make childbirth painful. I just read "Childbirth Without Fear" by Dr. Grantley Dick-Read and think it is a must-read!! I had my library order it from another location for me.

I didn't know last time, for instance, that there are three layers of muscle tissue in your uterus, each serving a different purpose at a different time. And how fear or tension (is your forehead wrinkled up?) actually works on the muscles that oppose the work of the uterus.

I think you'll appreciate having some good "head knowledge" in the end.

[CdnAloha]

Childbirth Without Fear is a book I really want to read. I am going to request it at the library after I am done this posting.

It's interesting everyone's comments on pain. As I read through them I thought about what is the most painful thing I have felt? I would have to say it was when a window shut on my finger and amazingly it wasn't even the pain of it, but more the complete surprise and shock of what had just happened. Dealing with the adrenaline and the after-effects of shock were the hardest part. I've had other accidental injuries like broken bones and such and always it's the unexpected pain that is the worst.

I am one of those people who find dental work to be a minor discomfort because I am prepared for it. I guess what I am trying to say is if you are aware of what your body is doing and why then it won't really be painful but just the apropriate feelings for what is happeneing.

I am taking the hypnobabies home study course because I really like the aproach that it isn't about pain management but about how your brain accepts and understands the process of birthing. I think with that understanding I will know if something is wrong because there really will be pain.

I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound too idealistic, but I really believe in my body's ability to deliver my baby in a gentle and positive way...I also accept I may be mooing like a cow or yelling, but that may well all be part of it for me.

Anna, in the hypnobabies course there is a script about addressing and dealing with any fears. It sounds like you are figuring yours out and that's a really good thing to do. Good luck.

Hugs,
Julia

[banana girl]

pain vs suffering

I've been mulling over my thoughts and feelings about this class and the "pain management" techniques we were working with.

During the class I stated that childbirth needn't be painful... while no one argued with me, we did discuss the concepts of pain vs suffering. In essence, pain is simply a sensation... a strong one, but just a sensation. Suffering is a mindset, a reaction to a sensation, and a fairly negative one at that.

So, doing the ice cube exersizes... dumb as i find them, gives you a way to explore and react to a sensation.
Jerome was very creative about how he approached this idea. One thing he did was watch the ice melting... focus in on it and realize that he had control over the melting ice. Eventually the heat of his hand would completely melt the ice... it was "productive" What I took from that was to think about the sensation of birth being something that had a purpose, that was finite, it would end eventually, and while I don't feel that i can "control" birth..... I can and will "direct" it. The instructor encouraged me to imagine my cervix melting away, just like the ice. Interesting.

another thought that I keep coming back to is this. I am very intrigued by the concept of orgasmic birth, which is why pain management practice seems like a bad / dumb idea... setting my mind up to expect pain. Anyway, we came up with the idea that we could take the concept of practicing reacting to this "pain / sensation" and tweak it a little. Instead of merely managing pain... encourage an "orgasmic" reaction. Most of us didn't have orgasms the first time we had sex, right... we had to practice, a lot! Well, if my hubby and i practice having an orgasmic reaction to strategically placed ice cubes...... I can't imagine the sensation of ice cubes is that similar to the sensation of a contraction... but it seems to be worth a try any way. At least the focus would be off of pain.

One of the drawbacks for me of practicing this ice cube stuff in class is that my ideas for pain management don't really translate to a classroom setting. For example, one of my big ideas for dealing with labor is to sing. My mother and sister will likely be there and I want to sing with them. The old doopey religious songs of my childhood, the ones that are ingrained in my skull so deeply. I also intend to have a few CD's of my favorite music playing... So i can just open up and sing along. Well, i feel like the classroom setting is too quiet and not private enough to practice singing in. The other students are all there, holding their ice and practicing their idea of pain management... I wouldn't want to disrupt them.

And my big "orgasmic' idea simply doesn't translate to a classroom well, either. Even if we (Jerome and I) simply made out, while holding ice in class... I can't imagine that wouldn't be disruptive / embarrassing too!

i wanted to mention that I found doing birth art really fun and special. We were asked to draw our most powerful image of birth... it was intresting to see what people came up with... i love the image that came to my mind.

Have you ever looked up, while resurfacing from a dive under water? The center space is yellow from the sun above and the blues get darker and darker from the center. There's a weird almost reflective quality to the surface of the water as you kick your way to the surface, breaking through to fill your lungs with air.... that's birth. The dark tunnel, with warmth, sunlight and air at the end. Struggling to reach that place, your body tiring, yet strong with desperation.

Anna

[banana girl]

class update

Well this week's class went a little better for me. I started of on the right foot by addressing (in class) my frustration with the ice exercises and my belief that practicing "pain management" will lead to.... pain!
The instructor was really great about reacting to my criticisms and concerns. She made great efforts to substitute the word pain, with the word sensation, from there on out. She suggested that we all try singing at some point... so i'm not the only one doing it, she also assured us that we would be practicing making noise, it wouldn't always be a quiet space in class.
We watched a great video of a waterbirth. Very intense, but in good ways. i identified so strongly with the woman giving birth... it was intense, but lovely!

This class has also lead me to read and reread some sections of my pregnancy library to help me understand the stages of birth. I really don't want to fill my head up with info, but do want to have a good idea of what is happening inside my body so it doesn't scare me.

I would really like to hear what experiences other women are having in their classes and how mine compares...

Anna Banana
(planning a waterbirth at home.. first timer)

[HeatherB]

Wow. Great thread. Some of the discussion of "what is pain" reminded me of my own belief. "Pain is just pain." The question is always, what does pain mean? If it means something is wrong, like a broken bone, burst appendix, etc., then pain has a negative connotation and you will likely be "suffering," as a PP wrote. But, in birth, the pain/sensations of normal ctx does not mean anything is "wrong" - in fact something is very right! Stilling our ingrained reactions to these intense sensations is the most difficult and critical part of dealing with them.

With my first birth, we took Bradley classes and I found the deep, natural breathing to be very helpful. I also learned as much as I could about birth - good birth! - and that was important to me. I went into labor knowing not how it would feel but what the sensations would mean. I knew that when I "couldn't do it anymore," I was almost done. I knew that my body could do this if I allowed it to, and that any intervention would only hinder the process. Having a large stock of knowledge about birth helped me tremendously, in part because I tend to be very "cerebral" about things, anyway. For someone who's more emotionally-oriented, this might not be as helpful - but I don't know that it would hurt.

My basic premise for preparing for birth is just that - to prepare, as thoroughly as you can. Having some idea what to expect and how you will deal with it is, I think, very valuable. How many times have you heard someone say, "I'm going to try to go natural," but never actually get a gameplan together to make it happen? And just how many times have they then (willingly) gone drug-free? Having a stash of ideas of what might work for you, what helps you relax, how you best deal with discomfort, etc., and knowing what to expect (in general - no birth goes "by the book!") will give you what you need to have a fulfilling birth experience!

I do think it is pretty normal to start feeling a bit anxious about birth at this point. I had a great labor with my son, but after 36 hours didn't get the urge to push (until I was being prepped for a c/s!). After that, I was too exhausted, and he was born surgically. Now, I don't really worry about labor, even a long labor, as I've BTDT and actually was thrilled with how it went. But I have periodically gotten anxious about pushing - I really looked forward to it with my DS's birth but how do I know I can do it? What will work? A couple of weeks ago I was doing some pelvic rocks and ended up in a position that I noticed opened up my pelvis - not quite hands'n'knees. It felt just right! I could easily see myself bearing down in that position, and suddenly I was confident again in my ability to birth.

Anna, it sounds like you're doing a great job working through your feelings about birth and working with your class. Practicing at home can help a lot, too! Especially since then you can be as loud (or romantic!) as you like. As you continue to challenge yourself and face any "fears," I think you'll come to discover just the right things to help you in your birth. BTW, I loved the image you described of birth! Pretty awesome and very apt.

[applejuice]

The ice cube thing:

When DH and I took a class, he pinched the inside of my knee, that fatty part.

He watched the second hand on a clock and timed it for a minute, peaking his pinching to be the hardest at the halfway point; then he released it slowly and let go at the top of the one minute.

I think this was a good technique.

The ice cube - WTF?

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Apple,

Many childbirth educators (myself included) have long ago thrown out the thigh piching technique.....Why? Because I/We don't feel that it is appropriate for a man to hurt his wife/partner, or cause her intentional pain.

Also, with an ice cube, you have a more steady build up of sensation, sort of like a contraction (is there anything that is even close to a contraction in intensity and sensation? Me thinks not)...at first the ice cube is just cold enough that you feel it there....then it's harder to ignore...then the sensation is greater, etc etc etc

We don't do the ice exercise in class, mainly for the reasons mentioned-who's really going to act the same in class as they would in private? Very few. So I suggest it to them to do at home... AND I tell them only try it once or twice, do not practice it, because then it will seem staged when the real time comes.

Best Wishes,
Kelly