Originally Posted by Jwebbal
so I guess that means in some of your homes we would not be welcome to sleep together? Not that we would be your houseguests since we don't know you, but it's an important question I think.
We pretty well deal with things that come up, when they come up. Race was a good example. We have some relatives who are bigots. I have asked them not to use bigoted terms around DS's, but in the way of ignorance and bigots, sometimes they slip up and forget that a "normal" word for them is a no-no for us. We explain it by, "some people don't like other people because of the way they look, and use words we don't like. We don't like it what they do, but we still love that person even if we don't agree." Et cetera.
I have a cousin who is most likely gay. Now, I'm a pretty conservative gal, I don't much like it, understand it, or agree with it, but it's not my life, it's his. My biggest frustration with him is that he will not come out of the closet. He lived with a guy for 8 years and they bought a house together. They broke up a few years ago and now he has a home and is living with another man. But he denies to the family that he is gay. He doesn't come around or visit the family, ever, and it has left a huge hole in my life. If he would just get out of the closet, I would welcome him and his partner in our lives. I would explain to my children that people have special friends and sometimes they are both men and sometimes both women. I don't think it will be a big deal to talk about it when it comes up, but I think it is extremely difficult to talk about subjects like these in the abstract sense to children until they get to a point developmentally where they can grasp things like that. I think the "values" that I wish to impart to them will flow naturally. I don't feel like I can bring up my cousin because he's not "out" and children being children, I can imagine my son questioning him about it and him feeling very violated, certainly gossiped about!
: to lead up to say, in my case at least, if I had friends who were in a committed homosexual relationship, I wouldn't have a problem having you as guests or explaining that to my son. I have more of a problem with promiscuity than I do homosexuality, quite frankly! I think committed relationships of any form are harder to do than superficial ones.