Freaky Diaper Changes... and other stuff

[JewelsRae]

So I run a daycare in my home. 4 boys, plus my own 2 kids. My ds is intact, and so is one other boy. The other 3 are circ'd brothers, (I know about the older 2 cause I used to change their dipes way back when). The youngest is a year and I swear there must have been an accident or something! The poor little guy has nothing left but a teeny tiny stump! I feel shivers every time I change his diaper, it's like it's almost non-existant! I feel so bad for this little guy!

And WHY the H*LL do people think it is easier to take care of!!? I want to vomit every time I have to pull back his foreskin to clean him, I feel like I shouldn't be doing it. With the intact boys all you gotta do is wipe it like a finger! I've never had poop get into my son's foreskin area ever, yet try cleaning a circ'd boy's runny poops, it's in every nook and cranny!

And on another note, I just found out my SIL is pg! It's dh's brother and his wife. If it were my bro or sis I'd feel more comfortable (in fact I've already got my entire side of the family anti-circ! ) but I am pretty shy and I'm not sure how to bring it up to them...? I'm not sure if they will circ or not if ít's a boy, but I hate to pry. She is a nurse and both dh and his brother are circ'd. I know they will be absolutely wonderful parents, but I will kick myself if I find out after it's too late.... any ideas?

[Evergreen]

I was 3 months ahead of dh's brother in our pregnancies. She found out she was having a boy. I sent her a bunch of really cute outfits, some pajamas, toys, crib sheets, a back sleeper positioner, and hats from her registery. I guess I felt if I spent $200 on shower gifts it would make the most priceless one seem better. It was a copy of Paul Fleiss' What Your Doctor Might Not Tell You About Circumcision and a heartfelt note from me. I poured my guts out to her. I begged her as a mother to protect her son. He is already perfect!

It was never acknowleged. Her generic "Thank You" card said something like "THank you so much for the gifts. He will come home from the hospital in the blue suit with cows. Love SIL and BIL."

So, dh called his brother while SIL was being induced and asked if they were going to do it. BIL said, "Of course." when dh protested, his brother said, "But it's natural " .

My BIL and SIL are very (for lack of a better word) mainstream. They conform to everything. THey have lived their whole lives in the same little town. She took her OBs words as the gospel truth during pregnancy. SHe was induced at 41 weeks because, "they don't like anyone to go past 41 weeks." I knew in the back of my mind they would do it. All their friends and family had. Even after reading how horrible it is, if they even read the book, it happened.

It seems like everyday, someone on this board posts about their circ'd nephew. Your inlaws seem different. They are educated. If she is a nurse she may know that circ is not nescessary. Send the book, it is an excellent reference. Amazon doesn't carry it anymore but Powells does, and Barnes and Noble.com might. Write a note asking them not to feel offended by your choice of gifts, but to think about it and atleast make an informed decision. If they are open to leaving the baby intact they will probably ask you more questions, or have your dh get the ball rolling with his bother.

Maybe you could even include a personal story about how difficult it is to care for the one little boy's penis and how you think it could be a botched circumcision leaving him a little short changed. No men would want their son to be smaller down there than they naturally would (so it seems strange that it is often the man pushing to have it done.)

[Mommiska]

Emily - it amused (and saddened) me to read your post. I just found out that my brother and his wife are expecting, and the whole circ thing is the first thing I thought of.

I actually think SIL could easily be convinced not to circ, but I'm not so sure about my brother. He's a great guy, but he thinks I'm a bit loopy in my parenting choices, so I'm not sure how he'll take anti-circ info from me.

He WILL get it anyway! I'm the only person they are likely to get real information about circumcision from, so I'll make sure they get it.

But I was just out today, buying a baby outfit and a pregnancy magazine to send to my SIL - I was going to get that into the mail as a 'congrats' present today or tomorrow.

Then, when they are closer to the 3 month mark, I was going to buy a pregnancy book, several little outfits and send either the Fleiss book or the Fleiss article, with a note giving websites, etc.

I also have this feeling that if I spend a lot of money on baby gifts, maybe they'll actually read the info about leaving any sons intact.

I'm sorry it didn't work for your nephew.

JewelsRae - I'd probably go with the gifts as a 'congrats your pregnant' thing, enclosing relevant anti-circ info and offering to discuss it if they are interested.

Must run...dd1 wants to show me something!

[Nathan1097]

Originally Posted by Gr8flmom

It seems like everyday, someone on this board posts about their circ'd nephew.

Wasn't me. I wonder how many have intact nephews that never post about it- or its been a while since. My twin nephews are 3 and intact.

[calngavinsmom]

Originally Posted by Nathan1097

Wasn't me. I wonder how many have intact nephews that never post about it- or its been a while since. My twin nephews are 3 and intact.

My nephew is one 22 months and he is intact. Both my sister and myself are very, how shall we say, strong(O.K., opinionated) women who wouldn't "let" our dh's opinions overrule ours in this particular matter. I know, so sad for them right?

Take care,
Tara

[TigerTail]

my bio half-sister's boy (my only nephew) is intact- biomom circ'd her own boy, but when i was pg with sam made a delicate plea for me to leave him intact, if we didn't get offended for religious reasons (as, after all, 'it used to be needed, but now is not necessary'. sigh. well, i guess the world needs *gentle* intactivists, too but i let her know it wouldn't be an issue, lol. i gently tried to let her know she was slightly misinformed- it was NEVER a good thing!) i guess gentleness convinced sis, anyway.

i have posted this, but like, years ago, when alexander (and yammer with his first and only foray here, which got edited out, lol- was it the first mod edit ever?) were the only guys here- yes, pre-frank we had a circ forum! so i guess everyone with intact nephews needs to post a rerun for the newbies like frank

suse

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by suseyblue

yes, pre-frank we had a circ forum! so i guess everyone with intact nephews needs to post a rerun for the newbies like frank

suse

:LOL
Yes, I am a relative newcomer here. Can I at least claim a record number of posts on this forum?




Frank

[laidbackmomto2]

My sister is a lay-midwife, first assisting with births in Manitoba and now in New Brunswick (her husband is in the airforce). My 15 yo nephew and my 3 yo nephew are both intact!

My older brother (37) was circumcised, but my younger brother (20) is intact

Cindy

Lindsey (96/02/26)
Jason (00/06/08)