safety vs independence

[LdyBluNH@aol]

dd is almost six and this weekend we seem to be having a lot of safety vs independence issues (which given the weekend is brand new is pretty frustrating)

had a talk with dd about why she cant go in front of our house (no windows there) and i told her flat out some strangers want to take kids

so last night she and dh went to the Y and he has a standing rule about stay with him while he finishes his shower. nope, little miss is in-dee-pendent and she walked off into the other room by herself

i know many have suggested the "protecting the gift" and i'll be getting that

i dont know if that will have actual practical stuff for these situations or not

we need to find the balance between her needs and ours

[momsgotmilk4two]

I think Protecting the Gift will give you some insight. As for the incident at the Y, if it was me and I knew that she was not capable of staying where I asked her to, I just wouldn't shower and expect her to wait outside, I'd wait until I got home. Part of Protecting the Gift is that you don't give a child responsibility for keeping herself safe. Instead of telling a child to stay with you, you take it upon yourself to not get distracted and make sure that YOU stay with the child. I thought that made a lot of sense. It's part of why my 4 yr old still rides in the cart at the grocery store. I can't keep track of him wandering AND shop for groceries at the same time. It's just not possible for me to look at him every second to make sure he is not wandering off to look at something and check my list, find the item, put it in the cart, etc. so I just stick him in the cart and keep my hand on it at all times.

[LdyBluNH@aol]

apparently the men's locker room is different than the women's

she isn't waiting outside of anything; theyjust have one huge open shower area. she can step away and wrap in her towel, all the while she sees dad and dad sees her