If not TV, WHAT??

[G-Dawg]

I have 3 little ones 5 and under.

I feel that TV rots your brain and familes would all be better off to toss their TV out the door!

That being said, my little ones watch tons of it. Videos, not cable. Blues clues, Dora, some Disney, Signing Time etc. All days most days.

I want to cut way down, to maybe an hour or 2 a week, max. Here is my problem. How do I get anything done? How do I get dinner on the table or take a shower? If I don't pop in a movie, I have a 2 yo and and a 11mo following me around whining and getting into everything. I HATE HATE HATE how much time they spend in front of the tv, and I feel so guilty. What kind of mother parks a baby in front of the tv? I am that kind of mother :

I was better with my first. She watched almost no tv.

I want to do better, I want it to be different, but sometimes the only thing that will calm my 2 yo is a movie (he is Autistic, probably a condition made worse by all the tv he has watched from the time he was a baby)

No tv mamas HOW DO YOU DO IT?! Please teach me you ways.

I need help.

G

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Do you or do you have a partner that works out of the home? I ask because we have an odd solution, which is that DC doesn’t watch any TV while DH is at work. Actually, I don’t know how to work the TV, which is why it works so well, LOL! Along these lines, I have friends who do the opposite – they don’t use the TV while both parents are home. It’s a good regulator.

Okay, then, I’m thinking that you’ve got two very young children and I’m assuming you’re not surrounded by trusted support. If I were you, I *might* give myself a month or two to get through this tough patch while slowly, gently encouraging some alternatives.

Some ideas are “projects” that consume a lot of time, like water play, art, sensory play and outdoor time. I would make a safe play space for the children so that you can shift focus for a while. You could consider leaving the house during the most vulnerable times of day.

You could get rid of the videos or replace them with a few very short videos. You could get some really boring videos, LOL. Let me know a little more about your situation, your kids and your environment and I may be able to think of some things.

[Rainbow]

Read "Purposeful Play" This is such a good book that helps show how you can involve children in daily activities and how they can learn from this.

We are tv free (well, we have a portabe for long road trips) and I'm amazed at how my children (16 mo and 3) love to help and be involved in all my chores. It has taken some slowing down my pace, but it is well worth it. They help load the dishwasher, I "drop" stuff from the washer and they place it in the dryer, they have their own rags and spray bottles (of water), they also help vaccume (a mini dirt devil is the cost of one video ) mini mops, mini brooms, minitools to help when I'm working on something. They help wash the fruit and veggies when we get home from the store. They have an invitation to do these things along with my DH or me. My toddler loves to try to sort and match all the tupperware and lids (which helps me get organized), there are so many things to fill the day.

They also spend tons of time in free play just playing. I've heard that the first month or so is very hard when you drop the tv- but then it gets much better and you're suprised at how much your kids can find to do.

If you have specific questions ask! I had a tv for a couple months when I was on bedrest, otherwise we've been free for awhile before DD1 was born.

Oh, showers- I lock the door to keep them in the (rather large) bathroom with me, or babygate them in with me to give and extended play area (close all doors and babygate the hallway or something) and put special toys down that they don't get all the time- this keeps their interest while I shower.

On another similar thought, I only keep a handful of toys out for play. I keep the rest up and rotate them every week(or so) so they always have different toys out all the time. This keeps their interest in their own toys peaked.

[dotcommama]

I would try to set small goals for reducing TV time. If you're kids watch 4 hours a day, for example, try aiming for 3 hours. Once you get the hang of that try 2 hours. . .

I let my children watch 1 hour of videos a day while I'm cooking dinner. Mostly because by the end of the day I'm way too cranky to bother to come up with something better and more creative.

As for showering I either take the baby with me or I get up in the morning with my dh and while he's getting ready for work he keeps an eye on the kids while I shower.

Here are some other great entertainers for the older two:

Books on tape

Watercolor paint

Playdoh

Get new books from the library once a week. My kids will spend the first day home sitting and paging through the new books.

As for the baby, I highly recommend getting a Mei Tai carrier. I have one and I do most of the housework and making dinner with my little guy strapped to my back. It's extremely comfortable and he loves it. He's happyly entertained by whatever activity I'm doing (he loves it when I vacuum best of all :LOL)

[Rainbow]

another thing- if you need to rock the baby or the younger babes are sleeping and you need a break- ask an older child to help sort beads or something at the table is a sure fire way to get some calm time in.

[Rainbow]

oh yes, the back carrier helps A LOT, i can let my 3 yr old help a lot more with the baby on my back.

[SabraMamma]

The kitchen is the perfect place for painting or playdo- IMO. My DD loves to do arts and crafts in the kitchen while I am cooking. Most likely, your floors can be easily wiped down so that spilled paint, playdo spots, glue, or whatever, can be wiped up easliy. There are some days that our kitchen floors look like she purposely painted them, but heck, its watercolors, and dinner is on the table.

Good luck with your goal.

[momsgotmilk4two]

We are not tv free, but something I do to get stuff done is put puzzles on the kitchen floor (or wherever I'm working) for them to do. Leappads are also good, as are other toys that you keep up for special times. My kids are starting to get into simple games like Let's Go Fish (a game with poles that they fish with) or Hi Ho Cherio. Coloring at the table or paint with water books are relatively neat too. I save playdough and markers for when I am going to be right there watching every second.

[napless]

Have you seen the recent thread about families who pulled the plug and found dramatic, positive changes in their children?

What if there was no such thing as TV? How would you cope? You just would, right? Since you seem to feel so strongly that TV is not serving you and your family, why not just get rid of it? You will figure it out!

We are TV free and I certainly understand why moms use it!! If I had one in the house, you can bet that there are days when I would be turning it on and parking the kids in front of it - even though I feel very strongly that that is not a good thing to do. Since we don't have one, it's not an option, and I have to get through the day somehow. So I do!

[ShannonCC]

I say go cold turkey. Cutting down gradually works for some, but didn't for me (I know - I tried). You have to decide for yourself what group you fall into. I just unplugged the tv one day (almost 2 months ago) and never looked back!

Well, first the bad news. I spend a lot less time on the computer now : Most days I only get on during nap time and now, when everyone else is asleep. And nap time I only am on while nursing boy-o to sleep. After he's out, I put him down and have reading hour with the girly girl

How to get things done depends on what. Cleaning? Get them involved as much as you can. Ok, maybe not the 11 month old :LOL I use natural cleansers (baking soda, water, vinegar) so my 5 year old can help scrub things. My 2 year old doesn't really clean, but can be put to work picking up. All I have to do is tell him to throw something somewhere (toys in a bin, clothes in a basket, etc) and he's in 7th heaven

When they are done "helping" and I'm still cleaning something, I try to talk to them while doing what I'm doing. I'm not sure how that would work with the 11 m/o (to be honest, my house was pretty bad when ds was that age) but it works, for me, for the 5 and 2 y/o. Picture me sweeping while chatting inanely "oh! You have a cow? What does a cow say? MOOOOOOOOOO! Now, what does a sheep say?" etc

For dinner, I sometimes try and get the 5 y/o involved in helping doing something. Most of the time I just set them up with some craft. Drawing with washable markers or washable crayons or washable paints (notice a theme? :LOL!). They sit at the table in the kitchen with me right there. I cook and can talk to them at the same time.

My biggest hint is not to do anything too long! I am a Flybaby and go by the 15 minute thing. Ok, maybe not literally 15 minutes all the time, but I try not to expect my kids to go too long without mommy attention.

Oh, my last bit of advice is to either put the tv away or cover it up. Out of sight, out of mind We got a really pretty piece of cloth with blue whales on it and covered the tv with it. I took a tension rod and put it on the entertainment center so it's a curtain in front of the tv. For the first two weeks or so my 2 year old kept yanking the curtain down and asking for "Joe" or "Steve" but now he no longer asks and he leaves my curtain up. This weekend I replaced it with a piece of fabric that has the planets in crazy colors against a black background. REALLY spiff I'm thinking maybe I can change the cloth seasonally or with holidays?

Anyway, good luck! We've had awesome results here with our dd's behavior and the tone of the house in general (despite having a crappy run of bad luck lately - we are still more peaceful around here!). The 2 year old is still a 2 year old though :LOL

[supervee]

I've found that DS whines less when he's not watched TV that day. My theory is that the TV makes him feel more separated from me, so he needs to make it up. Anyway, left to his own devices, he comes up with the most creative things! Maybe try it a day or two. Pretend like the TV is broken & you're waiting for the repair person. Our video player got some glue or something kid-related inside & I haven't bothered to get a head cleaner for it yet...

[Rainbow]

If you decide to wean off instead of cold turkey trying using time references your kids can understan "One video after nap" so you can better communicate about it and they can understand your intentions better.

[mountain]

I let the cable get shut off last week. I thought my dh was gonna die. He rushed around trying to get antannae reception. Yesterday we went out together to get movies for the kids.

Last night, I came back from Farenheit 9/11 & he was READING. I have not seen him do this in 2 years. Granted, it was a BATMAN book, but a book nonetheless.

I went in and recorded on my little guitar studio, laid down tracks. I gotta say, Sundays we usually spent zoning out watching Fox. (not that I won't still watch the Simpsons (!!)) This Sunday, I read James & the giant peach to my 7 yo & my 2 yo went to sleep at a decent hour instead of staying up with me to watch the flickering TV. My dh & I talked a bit after they went to bed.

I really liked it. It may take him some getting used to

I think TV's got its uses, but at this point, it was making it too easy to be sedentary & boring!

[Fieryfly]

Great suggestions so far in getting the kids involved in what you do and offering other activities for them. I agree to use your kid's attention span as your guide in getting things done. Work for as long as they will allow, and then stop to spend some time with them before going back to your work.

We have a box/basket of toys in every room so they can be near me. It does make it a little tougher to keep things straightened, but it helps immensly. I also always work to make the kid's playroom organized and inviting so that they will want to spend more time using their toys in there. Also, make it a point to get outside with them every day.

Good luck!

[phathui5]

"Have you seen the recent thread about families who pulled the plug and found dramatic, positive changes in their children?"

Like my ds! I've stopped having him watch TV during the day. He can play video games with dh when he's home from work, but no more staring at the box during the daytime. He's been less whiny then back when I was letting him watch TV. We've been reading more and I'm still managing to get all the cooking and cleaning done.

[G-Dawg]

Thanks so much everyone! Great suggestions. I am very inspired, and now I have some good ideas. Where is the thread about positive experiences getting rid of the tv? I think we will cut back a little at a time and see how that goes.
G

[applejuice]

What did we do before there was television?

My television watching was severely limited as a child.

I read alot, and drew alot and played alot outside.

[PikkuMyy]

I grew up without TV. I read books, drew, played outside, made forts out of umbrellas and sheets inside, did TONS of pretend play (and I was an only child), lots of art projects, helped my mother with all cleaning/cooking, stuff like that.

I think people have given you some great ideas. I'd have a "collection" of short, hands-on activities for the kids to do while you clean or cook. They could be related to what you are doing/helpful, like rinsing fruits in the sink or finding all the socks in the clean laundry basket - whoever finds the most socks gets some sort of prize that is related to helping and isn't a "bribe". Each kid could have a "job" (besides the baby) that would help dinner get ready, involve mixing, tasting, etc. Have a race to see how fast the three of you can pick up and put away all the toys on the livingroom floor, and time it. Try to beat it each day and have a goal at which you party when you meet it.

[bec]

We've been really restricting tv watching lately. In the last week we've only had the tv on for about 30 minutes. My older dd has been handling it very well. Her playing has been more imaginative, she's been sleeping better, and I've noticed a leap in her speech lately. She is making longer sentences, with better grammar (her vocabulary has always been great, but getting her to string them all together is more of a challenge).

She isn't asking to turn the tv on as much, either. I'm thrilled about that. Between late pregnancy and having a newborn, then having health issues with that infant, we have been relying on the tv a lot in the last 7-9 months.

I agree with the others about involving the kids with the cleaning (maybe clean during the 11month old's nap?). For dinner preparation, it pays to be organized. Crockpot dinners are great for this because you can put it together whenever you have a spare moment. I'm loving leftovers lately. I'll cook a couple of days a week, making doublke batches. Then all I have to do is heat it up. Salads keep really well if you don't put dressing on them.

My older daughter (3yo) loves to help. She'll stir, or put chopped vegetables in the salad bowl, etc. I also will get out the watercolor paints and let her do that (it's easy to clean up. I have magnets on the fridge to play with (this might be good for the baby. They get a little underfoot, but it's way better than the tv blaring or a tantrum trying to get it turned off.

Good luck!


Bec

[be11ydancer]

:

I am loving this thread. We have been working on cutting down t.v. time. My goal is to get down to 30 min a day and a movie for the family on the weekend. Thanks for all the ideas everyone!