why do i feel blue so often?

[mamaley]

don't really know what to say, except the past week i've been feeling very down. i'm a sahm and i get breaks sometimes to have a bit of alone time here and there (lol, usually here on mdc) but i don't have anything that i do just for me. i have a baby, 9 months old, and a 4 yo, and not a lot of friends anymore. 2 are moving soon. i feel very isolated, but i'm kind of shy about meeting people from online, otherwise i'd meet people here i guess. my husband and i have no time for each other to be alone. he's doing all these fantastic things with his life, and i'm happy for him, and support him, and i love being a sahm, but at the same time i wish i had something like that for me. we get along great and our relationship is good, but at the same time i'm running out of things to talk about with him. i feel lonely. thanks for listening.

[MamaMonica]

[Pookietooth]

I feel the same way, so I think it's very common for SAMHs, especially since we are so rare these days. Is there a local La Leche League meeting you could attend?

[mystic~mama]

I am right there with you mama

[SpiralChrissy]

I think it's hard to be a SAHM. I enjoy it too, but it does tend to be isolating. Have you thought of trying out some of the moms clubs in your area? Or a babysitting co-op? What do you think you'd like to do for yourself? Any special interests that you'd like to cultivate? Do you have a babysitter who could watch your kids a bit more to give you some time?
One thing I do is go to the gym. MY gym has a daycare so I can do something for myself while my DS interacts with other kids. It's a great relief and I'm empowered by it.
I know for me, sometimes, it helps just to get out of the house for awhile even if it's to go to the library. When I can't get any other relief, that's what I do.
Hugs to you!

[mamaley]

hi, just wanted to say thanks for the replies. i'm not having a good day this afternoon, i think due to the fact that we didn't get out enough today. i'm feeling especially isolated when it comes to being around other women. our society sucks. maybe that's not the problem, but it's always fun to blame society. lol.

[mystic~mama]

:LOL yeah, I know the feeling Mamaley!

[chiquita]

This is for Mamaley

Mamaley,
I'm here to bring good cheer to you. I have an 8.5 month old - close in age with your little one. He's my first though. I am on the opposite side of the fence. I work long hours everyday and wish that I could spend more time with my son. I feel your pain!

This sounds like such a great opportunity to start a weekly get together. Check out local Bradley Method classes, yoga for mommies, libraries - reading time, la leche leagues, orientations at museums, etc...

The summertime is filled with so many activities in the local papers. Map out a couple of days to go and try something new with the kids. Blueberry picking is a lot of fun too.

Eat well and take time everyday to treat yourself to something special. It could be as small as a long bath when dh comes home, or listening to a book tape on motivation. One thing I am doing now is growing my hair long to donate it to locks of love for children with cancer. Maybe you can explore some kind of community activity to help someone - it'll make you feel good!

Hope I'm not rambling too much, it's my intent to help you see that there's a great big world out there with so much to explore with the little ones.

Cheer up, good things will come to you -just give them a chance!

Hugs,
Chiquita

[mystic~mama]

wow chiquita,
your getting me motivated to do more

[mamaley]

thanks to both of you

chiquita, great post you're right, i do need to make sure i get out more. for the first month of the summer, we were going somewhere cool at least 5 times a week, but lately it's been so hot that it's even difficult for my 4 yo to want to go out, especially since he can play with his beloved trains at home. i think that's why i'm feeling this way more than usual. my dh is getting me a guitar for my birthday and i have a book about learning, so i'm starting to learn to play guitar, which is great. i was exercising a lot more and i haven't been, so maybe i should try to get back into that. another thing that's getting me down is that i've been really slacking on housekeeping--something i really don't enjoy--and i'm not enjoying my environment here as much. argh, maybe it's time for flylady again

[memory maker]

this sounds a lot like me. I have been having depression episodes since my dd was born a year ago. I really hate where I live, but we are stuck here because of dhs job. I would love to live closer to my family. I dont have any real friends here. all the moms I meet are about 20 years older than me, so I dont have much in common with them. I have recently started taking zoloft and hopefully it will help. I really didnt want to have to go the medicine route, but I have been in this rut for so long that I needed something to help me get out of it.

[MisfitMama]

Mamaley - you *are* right to blame society! It's totally unnatural for us to be isolated like this, and it makes me sick.

Is there an AP group in your area? That's where I met the women I hang out with now. Also, I go to LLL. It doesn't matter if you're shy - you don't have to aim to make friends - you can just go to get out and listen to adults talking!

I am considering volunteering, if I can find something where they'll let me take ds. I want to be working for money - I think that my self-esteem is very tied to making money, however dysfunctional that may be. But it's so hard. I had a PT job for a year, being a "mother's helper." But it ended and I've been in a funk ever since!

Does anyone do anything *really fulfilling* on a regular basis that is not all about kids? (i.e., not just a playgroup)?

MisfitMama

[SpiralChrissy]

I have a womens group that I get together with 2x a month. It's been a real blessing. Only 2 of the 6 of us have kids and that's refreshing for me We talk about EVERYTHING and it's so much fun. I love it.
I also workout at the gym 4-5x a week. I get to read my favorite magazine and work on my weight at the same time.
I don't know what I'd do without breaks like this!!
Chrissy