Week of July 12! - Page 3

[blessed2bamommie]

I forgot the belly changes....weeeeeeeeeell..I'm black, albeit light skinned, so its not as bad as I've seen on some darker bellies, linea nigrea. The MW at group yesterday, said, b/c the fair red hed didn't have it, that its related to pigment. There's another black girl and she's darker than me and she piped up and I have a light line and looks like a faint one coming from the top. My belly button has gotten brown and feeling the top of it, it feels stressed out. :LOL I'm thinking that my innie turning inside out would *not* be cool! But, I didn't think I could *finally* get down in there! :LOL Mama would fuss at me and tell me not to go in there as a kid. Now, I have a little scar from the lap last summer. Dh is all examining the other incisions below my belly but and right inside my hair line. He's wondering if they should look like they look. I've got *no* stretch marks *on my belly; but, on my side I've got a newbie and seems like on my hips there are some friends and one little one right at the upper part of my butt! The natural health consultant said use the belly stuff when I started itchin; but, when I was in the nfs the other day, I picked it up b/c it said at least 3 mos to birth and after. So, I've been using it. I can't reemember the name. I know a few of yall have some stuff, are yall using it? I kinda like the look of when I'm all moisturized. And I don't like my body at *all*! The most has been since I was pg, despite the evil mw. Well, that's a purty picture for all yall! :;shake I think I noticed some silvery ones on my boobs......

I worked on my registry for my showers : At this time there will be one given by the church women, my mama colleagues and my old teachers/friends, (she's a teacher and I grew up and went to school there), and one at a restaurant to include my SIL, a girl from high school and Youth Group, *and* who introduced me and dh, and couple girls I met thru dh and girls that used to be in his dept. My workout group I workout with gave two girls a shower; but, I've noticed since Jordan died I've been on the outside, which *I* decided; but, since I got pg it still hasn't been the same. Soooooooooo.....I'm not sure if they will give me one or not. I got a present from one when she gave the other girl, now, having her second in 14 mos, a present before she went on mat leave. It kinda smarts; but, its only July. Its kinda the principle, not racking up. Anyhoo! Sooooo...last night I dreamed about registries, Katie, :, I can't remember what else. Very wierd!

So, tell me is *anybody* registering but me, who's having a shower? I shopped at Ecobaby, the Ecomall and then after I left there I went to target. Done there, so I checked out Wally : b/c the Target is across town, and my registry is still kinda skimpy, so I thought BRU or TRU, since BRU isn't in the city where one of my showers is. : Burlington is in the city.....nearer the school.....(for those folks)

[JenDoula]

Originally Posted by gottaknit

I know what you mean about the babycenter board, JenDoula. Before I knew MDC existed I frequented the October babies board there and every day it got my blood boiling. (ie comments like "breastfeeding baby girls is weird and gross and will turn them into lesbians" and "not circumcising is just unnatural") I felt like I must be from another planet. Then I discovered mothering.com and realized what planet I'm from!

Yes, I remember that thread about breastfeeding girls! A friend of mine thinks breastfeeding is the most disgusting thing ever.. I don't get it. And my mom is always telling me "horror stories" (in HER mind, LOL) about how "this woman just STARTED BREASTFEEDING!! RIGHT THERE IN THE STORE!!" I don't know why she keeps telling me these things - I've made it clear how I feel about it. I've said to her before, "Mom, if she took out her elbow and started feeding her baby with it, you wouldn't be bothered. It's not the baby's fault that America has sexualized the breast."

Gotta go feed breakfast to the 3-year-old (4 next month, I can hardly BELIEVE IT?! I've been a mom for FOUR YEARS?!).

[mirthfulmum]

29w 3d

The whole circumscision debate drives me crazy! I hear people tell me that they think it's important that their sons look like their dad and that the other boys will make fun of them... Do men really spend that much time comparing and contemplating thier penises? My brother is uncircumscised and said that he had a few guys make comments in the locker room but he said that it was the friendly/joking kind of teasing. And says they could've just as easily teased him about something else. My brother never felt uncomfortbale or self-conscious getting undressed in front of other guys. And when Alias was born and my borther came to visit us, and just before he began his first diaper change attempt (ever), my brother turned to me and asked "Is Alias a WHOLE man?". He was very pleased that we hadn't had him circumscized.

Circumscicion rates here in Canada are much lower than those in the US because it isn't covered by medical. So while the pre-natal care, the labour and delivery, and the recovery are all covered by our socialized medical system, families have to go to a specialized clinic and pay about $250 to have thier children circumscized. So there just aren't that many people who are going to go through the trouble and cost.

Phew, Boy had a lot more to say than I thought about the subject (and I even restrained myself). Guess this is a hot button for me. Perhaps its the hormones. It dosen't seem to take much to get me all riled up right now.

And since I'm on a hot button roll... what kind of person thinks that breast feeding theier daughter is going to turn their child into a lesbian? Who are these people? I feel so sorry for their children.

Originally Posted by JenDoula

"Mom, if she took out her elbow and started feeding her baby with it, you wouldn't be bothered. It's not the baby's fault that America has sexualized the breast."

:LOL

[AnnR33]

Oh yah-it gets me going to! My mainstream SIL just had a baby boy a few wks ago and I asked if they were doing a circ and she said yes-I asked why? She didn't have an answer and looked at my BIL-I asked him if he remembered what his dad's penis looked like (I swear I did!LOL) and he squirmed and said no, but they were doing it anyway. I said "he's your son but there is no medical reason to do it and I don't understand why you'd inflict that kind of pain on a baby" I do this sort of thing to them all the time so they're used to me but I hope i plant a seed now and then.
I did convince her to nurse when she wasn't planning on it so I feel good about that-it's only been 3 wks and she's already supplementing a little but I figure it's progress and healthy for that baby.
And the BFing comments always get me riled up! My first nursed for a yr but I was getting comments at 6 mos when was I going to quit and when I nursed my DD for 2 yrs you should have heard the comments-even my mom was terrible-she said it was "disgusting" at that age and unnatural-I loved getting into debates with her but it was tiring sometimes. Of course, she also doesn't understand how we even conceived our 3rd with our "family bed" LOL
OK, hopping off my soapbox now...
Ann

[Jillerina]

Today is a pregnant day for me. I'm sitting here in the living room moving between the computer and the couch. I just don't seem to have an ounce of energy. Luckily DD is having a great day playing by herself. This is not the norm so I'm taking advantage of it and just letting her do her thing. I've even managed to keep the TV off!!!

My intentions for the day were to get a bunch of laundry done (I've done 1 load) and take DD out to the wading pool or the park. I got as far as getting her covered in sunscreen but we never made it out! Hopefully after we both nap I'll be up to going somewhere.

It amazes me to hear that people still circ. their sons as often as they do. I don't know ANY circ'ed babies! DH wasn't circ'ed and neither were most of his friends, I guess it is a regional phenomenon!?! There has never been any conversation about this with DH, as far as we are concerned there is nothing to discuss!

[True Blue]

Well, DS is circed as will be the next one if it is a boy...but I am Jewish and it is a religious thing...otherwise, I probably wouldn't do it! But I must say, the way we had it done, at home, with TWO mohels (one was a urologist, the other a plastic surgeon...talk about a great team!), was the way to go. DS had emla cream to numb him, and a few tsp of wine....he never cried during the cutting, only at one point bc he was sick of being stuck in one position (he was somewhat restrained with receiving blankets....NOT tied down coldly on a baby papoose) and we could be there with him.

I do actually have a friend whose DH is not circed, and he opted to have his sons circed bc he had always felt uncomfortable growing up.

But like I said, if it weren't for my religious beliefs, we probably wouldn't do it. DH is circed, and on some level would like his boys the same (he is not Jewish), but he also doesn't like anything that can cause pain so he probably would opt out!

[flitters]

good morning ladies!

let's see... i'm just feeling all warm and fuzzy at having such a wonderful october pregnancy group right now. dh is so cute - i talk about stuff from this board regularly so he even sometimes asks how "the group" is doing.

so, if this babe is a boy he will not be circ'ed. dh is really open minded about the whole issue. some friends of ours now have a 4 week old who they did not circ either - apparently when they went to the hospital for the tour the nurses were very anti-circ and so they did the research and decided against it.

the breastfeeding comments are unbelievable. really, i just can't fathom how those attitudes develop.

i'm pretty pale too but i figure i'll probably have a linea by the time things get farther along. i should ask my mom if she had one... but then again, she's hispanic and i was not blessed with her olive skin tones. i'm white and pink with insanely sensitive skin. funny, i think the linea negra looks nicer on skin that is darker to begin with. i have a feeilng if i end up with one it will be like maroon colored or something ridiculous.

i don't have stretch marks yet but i've only just started getting round (finally, yay!). i think i'll probably get some cause i have some silver old ones on my hips from puberty.

jendoula, welcome! and as a mom who will go back to work (dh will be a sahd), i took absolutely no offense at your post! i agree the prioritization of things sounds really weird when you have 2 new cars but can't afford some time with a newborn.

mamadance, congrats on the homebirth - that sounds great!

we actually just met the back-up obstetrician for our midwife today. he was awesome - just what i would hope for if i were planning to have a birth attended by an OB. our midwife's transfer rate is around 7% so it's not likely he will participate in the birth, but it was still great to meet him. i know i will feel more comfortable knowing the doctor on the other side if we do end up needing to transfer.

wow, suddenly nauseated. need to eat!

[blessed2bamommie]

Dh isn't circed and so the circumcision discussion wasn't too much of an issue, then he can look like his daddy. I soooooooooo want to ask MIL why she didn't circ him. :LOL : But, seems like some blacks aren't. Did I hear that it was b/c of the better sex not circed thing.... I like him looking like his daddy so we won't do it.

I just asked dh to ask her...he said it probably was a black thing or his grandmother told her not to. I'd be kinda interested....and wonder if she circed either of her boys....that might be toooooooooooo much for me to know about my BIL.


ugh....baby didn't like dh's jalpeno cheddar dip....:Puke

[Piglet68]

Funny, Letia, my MIL doesn't seem to recall exactly why she didn't have her sons circ'd. She birthed here, so I'm sure it was asked of her. And she was so young. She didn't BF because they told her not to bother, and yet somehow she stood up for this issue?

Ah well.

Oh boy am I feeling big these days. I'm not so comfortable sitting in chairs with arms, because I can't get my knees far enough apart not to squish my belly. And...last night I discovered that sleeping on my tummy, even with my leg drawn up, is no longer an option, lol. I feel I've grown several inches in the last week. I also seem to have gained 3 pounds in the last week, but think that may be water (or all the Eggos I ate for breakfast, lol). I'll have to weigh again tomorrow to double check.

And yeah, one of my maternity pants no longer fits across the hips and thighs. It happened last time too, though I'm happy to report I was able to wear them for longer this time, since I started out this PG lighter than the first. My other pants are stretchy material so they are still very comfy.

i just don't get the "Looks like daddy thing" re: circ'ing. I mean, if his hair is a different colour than daddy's are they gonna run out and dye it? Men are just so hung up on their penises! :LOL Luckily DH is intact so it's not an issue for us, either. We're "just saying no". And, like mirthful said, it's not something they do routinely in hospitals in Canada.

Well, I"m gonna run and go check out the websites for various hospitals in vancouver. it occurred to me i might not get a private room (something to be said for teh consumer-driven health care in the US - my room in Boston was luxurious!). God forbid I end up rooming with some mama who leaves her baby in teh bassinet while everybody visits and then stuffs him with formula and complains about when is her milk gonna dry up. sorry if that sounds harsh - i just had this sort of nightmarish thought the other day!

[bluehalo]

Happy Wednesday to everyone

I'm so sorry I've been having a hard time keeping up and responding to each person individually. I know it feels good to be personaly acknowledged, but lately I'm doing well just to check in a few times a week. So please know it's nothing personal

Re: circumcision ... Ethan is circ'ed and I feel very badly that we didn't do more in depth research first. This next baby will *not* be circ'ed, and while DH is slightly uncomfortable with having one circ'ed son and one intact son, he agrees that it's the best decision. My question to him, that he had no good comeback to, was "So, we made a poor decision at one point, but to be "fair" to our sons we should continue to make bad decisions even though we *now* know better?". NOT. This will be the first uncirc'ed boy in our family, so I'm anticipating some questioning, but I plan to have some information printed out so I can just hand them something instead of getting into a huge discussion, ie, "If you're really curious, feel free to read this and see what you think". Then if they *still* want to discuss it with me, that's fine. But if they just want to give me a hard time they'll get the "this is *not* up for discussion" response.

[Soogie]

Well I left the circumcision decision up to my DH. He had to be circ. at the age of 19 due to chronic infections. Not due to poor hygeine, as his Dad had to have it done later in life at age 30, for the same reason. DH said it was awful being an adult and needing to have it done. So he felt strongly about having our son (s) circs'd at birth. He and a friend of ours were present when my son had the procedure, and they both said he never cried or looked uncomfortable at all. They had given him a topical numbing agent, before they injected lidocaine. The only time he cried was when he urinated for the first time afterwards. Ok, it was more like a shrill, very disturbing to mommy, but that too quickly subsided.

I get all fired up about people's ignorance and breastfeeding. No one in my family has ever bf'd and they are all pretty much skeeved out that I would choose to use my breasts for what they were intended for! When I was having supply issues with my first, everyone kept telling me that I just needed to snap out of my "hippy" stage and feed my kid formula already. I was infuriated!

I'm trying to remember what other topics you ladies have been discussing. It's hard to keep up *and* post responses! Oh, linea negra...I don't get one. But I do get a really fuzzy belly. What's up with all the hair growth on my belly?!? I look like a peach!

I had my mw appt yesterday. So far so good. I'm just concerned about my lack of weight gain this time around. I'm only up 7 lbs so far at 25 weeks, and at this point with my other 2 pg's I was already up 25 lbs. I've started each pg at the exact same weight. And also, my fundal height is measuring 1-2 weeks behind, even though baby was measuring right on at the ultrasound. I just don't want my low weight gain to harm the baby. I've been trying really hard to eat protein rich food. But my appetite is non exisitent.

I'll be out of touch for the next 2 weeks. The kids and I are heading to NY to visit family.

[sqoya]

Want to know something funny? My husband didn't even know whether he was circumcised or not! he hee. All the men he'd ever seen looked like him, but he didn't know whether that meant they were all circums or intact. He says the kids he grew up with just never walked around in the locker-room comparing each other. After I explained the procedure to him, he grimaced and said, "people do that to their babies?" Needless to say, we're not circumcising!

[mirthfulmum]

:yawning: Ugh. It's only 5:30 and already I am sooo tired . Having my class start at 1:30 and go until 4 means that I do not get the chance to nap during the day anymore. And boy oh boy, am I feeling it.

I have a midwife appointment tomorrow, which are always fun. I can't wait to hear the heart beat again and see how much I've grown. And for some reason I always get some kind of sick pleasure from seeing how much weight I've gained. I don't think I'll reach the 50 pounds I did when pregnant with Alias, but who knows...

[flitters]

just a quick update for wannabmommie, i just learned i am having something of a shower after all! two of our good friends are throwing a "sproglet party" for me and dh some time in late september with about 20 of our friends.

i don't intend to register anywhere though unless my family insists on it... my friends already know how i don't want much stuff so they planned that if people want to give shower gifts it should be either their favorite book for a baby or clothes (we haven't bought any besides 6 pairs of socks).

and mandi, your husband made me laugh!

[momadance]

Letia: I use Beautiful Belly Balm from the HFS!

3boys4us: I recently found that prego's burn easier due to excess estrogen in their systems, so all of us need to watch out!

How could a circ be excrutiating for a 19 yo, and not for a newborn? I suspect it has to do with comunication and the use of language, not so much "it doesn't hurt" just my opinion!

I told Dh last night that I have fear about birth because I have no fear, if that makes sense to anyone. So after this conversation, I go to bed and have a dream that I had been knocked out and given birth, and didn't nurse him for over 12 hours, and then turned out I had no nipples to nurse him. Pretty freaky!Ugh, and then, I had him in a sling and looked down at him, and he had shriveled up to a pre term 20 week old fetus! It was pretty awful.

I slammed my thumb in the door of our Exterra today. completely shut it, was dazed and now I have a huge throbbing thumb. Super painful! How the he*! am I gonna handle childbirth again

[Lucysmama]

Letia-
We aren't having a shower, as we already have everything we need. If people REALLY want to go shopping and buy little outfits, dh and I plan to ask them to take dd shopping instead, as she is the one who really *needs* stuff. Or, we will just return little 0-3mo stuff and buy toddler things.

We are going to ask my MIL, who is very um, pushy and overbearing, to organize a new-parent food feeding schedule. She is great at just jumping in and organizing stuff for groups of people. We are thinking she could call people when the baby is born and ask them to sign up for a date to bring dinner/take out/frozen casserole/etc for us. Is that wrong of us? :LOL We just know people will want to help, and thought this would be one of the best things people could do.

So no real shower per se, but I am sure we will have people showering us with love and gifts anyway!

No circ'ing for us, either. I am totally against genital cutting on males and females, and dh feels the same. He is really bummed that he was cut as a baby.

[True Blue]

Re: showers....My mom is dying to throw one for me since she didn't even get to come last time (we were stationed in CA), so I'll definitely be having one this time. There are still a few things I need, and I'm hoping I can get some people to buy some cloth dipes, too. I'm also thinking maybe I can get cash gifts to go towards a birthing tub??? Maybe anyway, that would be cool!!!

Katie, a dinner rotation sounds awesome...wonder how I can get my friends to do that? LOL

[3bees~1flower]

Originally Posted by momadance

3boys4us: I recently found that prego's burn easier due to excess estrogen in their systems, so all of us need to watch out!

How could a circ be excrutiating for a 19 yo, and not for a newborn? I suspect it has to do with comunication and the use of language, not so much "it doesn't hurt" just my opinion!

wow...thanks...i didn't know that! wished i had known that on mon!

on the circ thing being painful for an adult but not a baby thing.....being in the medical field, this is how i would answer that....it would be the same as comparing a tonsilectomy as a child to a tonsilectomy as an adult....adults *can* die from them as they don't heal as quickly as you do when you are young and getting it done...my brother had to have a tonsilectomy at 23 yrs old and it was EXCRUTIATING for him...i had it done at 3 and don't even remember it. i have seen kids eating normally hours after having it done and an adult in severe pain at the same interval. the same would go for a baby getting circ'd...they heal sooooo much quicker than an adult does...thus the reason for it being so much more painful as an adult rather than a baby. b/c as adults we don't heal as quick as we did as babies. ds#3's circ has been somewhat of a problem...he wasn't as...ahem...well endowed when he was born as the other boys so my dr couldn't do a "whole" circ on him b/c it just wasn't possible...he developes adhesions on it that i have to break and it is very painful for him...i can't imagine if he weren't circed at all! i'm hoping that when he looses his fat pad and his lil' pecker sticks out more that we won't have to worry about this anymore. the other boys' have never caused a problem. i guess it's the stories that i hear about needing to be circ'd as adults that make my mind up to circ...a friend of mine had to have her boy circ'd at a year b/c of infections and it wasn't a cleanliness thing at all. i just wouldn't want to put an older child/adult child thru that when they heal so much quicker as baby...and if i asked my boys if they remember it, they'd look at me like i had two heads...i look at it as saving them from potentially *more* pain if they would happen to need to have it done later in life.

[OakEmber]

Maybe I'll soften when I actually have a son...but up until now I am sorry but my feelings about adult men having to get a circ. when necessary is pretty much.... cry me a river...I mean us women GIVE birth for goodness sake! God forbid men have to experience some pain sometimes too. Ok, I really probably shouldn't post this...but I think some others will agree with me. Like I said, maybe when I have a son I will feel that I don't want him experience pain...but I don't want to protect my Dd from the pain of childbirth so wouldn't that be a bit sexist??

Mirthfulmum- I have to respectfully disagree about having to pay for a circ. in Canada being the reason for the low percentage...out of all the moms I know with uncirc. boys (and it would be easier to count the ones who are because I only know 2 that are and dozens that aren't) never once have I heard anyone mention the out of pocket expense, actually I am the only person I know to ever use that in an argument and it was only because my SIL is so money orientated that it seemed like the only way to nip the conversation in the bud :LOL I'd say that some of my friends probably don't even know how much it costs because they never looked that far into it. I know when my brother was born, in 1990, the rate had already dropped dramatically and it was only $50 at the time to preform, not much of a deterrant...my mom got some resistance from family about not cir. but not nearly as much from her friends as plenty of them weren't either. The fact that it is considered Cosmetic surgery probably helps.

I love that we can discuss this and other heated issues without flaming each other but it makes me nervous because I have seen bad things on mainstream boards and I'd hate for us to fight Which reminds me, earlier in the week Piglet, you talked about a group falling apart after the babies were born...please tell me it wasn't a MDC, I can't imagine that happening to us! I was apart of an EC on Parents Place with Ember and it had the same fate but I have higher expecations from this group.

[mirthfulmum]

I know what you mean Amie, I'd hate for a fight to break out, but I think that so far we've all been pretty respectful of each other's positions. It seems like we have all agreed to disagree on certain issues. Much like my frineds IRL. I have 3 friends who have sons who are circumcized (1 who is Jewish and the other 2 actually live in the states). And I consider these women to be wonderful and loving mothers and great friends. And I'm sure I do things that they wouldn't do to their children but they have never held it against me.

One of the things I love about you women here is that you are so open. I mean what a diverse group we have here... but we all share a common goal so we are able to find a common bond. You all are a breath of fresh air.

Oh and Amie, you know I had always assumed that the money thing was a factor for people when choosing to circ. or not. But thinking about it more, you're probably right. There are greater factors at play in Canada's low circ. rate.