Please help me!!!

[rawgirl]

I have a four year old son who has never been circumcized.

Being a new mother I didn't know any better then to listen to what my doctor said about removing the white stuff (I am sorry I forget what it is called) from my little guys penis. As a result my little guy has tight foreskin because it never opened up.

With my second child I had learned to leave it alone and it opened up beautifully. However, I have been noticing my four year old is making a big deal about the fact that he doesn't have a "hole". about six days ago he came to me and said "look mommy I made a hole". He had forced his skin back making a hold the size of a pin head.

Then two days ago he said his "pee-pee" hurt and when I looked at it it looked a bit scabby or crusty. By yesterday morning it had three large sized cracks at the tip and by last night they were even more pronounced and red.

Please, I am lost at what to do or how to help him. My main concern right now is to not let it get infected and for it to heal. I have unbelievable guilt and remorse over taking all of that good and necessary stuff out of him. I cry that he has to go through this and my biggest fear is that I do not want him to have to be circumcized because of what I have done. There has to be an answer as to how to deal with this situation and that is why I have sought out this forum.

Please help me!

Rawgirl

[hipmamawnc]

First off, don't be too hard on yourself. You kept your son intact, you should be proud of that. I think you are on the right track, the most important thing at this point it helping him heal. You could maybe use some lanolin (like for sore nipples) to keep the scabbing away and it would probibily feel good for him. I wouldn't worry too much about infection as long as you keep him clean, talk to him about being gentle with himself.

I can't imagine there being any reason to circumcise him to fix the problem. He will heal and be just fine. My mother was 36 years ago, she did the same thing at her doctors insistance and my brother is just fine.

Your little guy will be just fine, just keep an eye on him while he's healing.
Take care mama and try not to worry.


Robyn to dh Eric
:bf nonvaxing, nocirc, cosleeping mama to Raven 6, Dakota 4 and Zebulon 8 weeks

[Frankly Speaking]

You don't have a thing to worry about. At your son's age, only half are normally retractile. Your other son is just ahead of most of his peers in being retractile. The white stuff you are talking about is called smegma and both of your sons will produce it their entire life just like you do. Within just several days of not cleaning it off, there will be a new supply. It's in there in your son's foreskin doing it's job.

You need to know that the foreskin is very much like the lips in that it is very sensitive and just like if your son put his fingers in the corners of his mouth and pulled his mouth open too wide, there would be some trauma. This is what has happened to his foreskin. Just like his mouth would heal very quickly with no long term effects, his foreskin will also heal very quickly with no long term effects. Your son will not do anything to cause substantial damage because it would be painful and his body will tell him to stop.

Basically, you have nothing to deal with (other than two boys) and everything will be fine. Thank you for coming here looking for information. It was probably the best thing you could have done.





Frank

[Raven]

welcome!

Frank and Robyn have given you ecellent advice! Do let us know how things turn out.

[Stevie]

another and thank you for coming here: your experience will help other moms with similar concerns who may be too afraid to post their questions. You are a great momma

[rawgirl]

Thank you!

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words and advice! I also appreciate you taking the time to help me.

I am pleased to say that my son has almost completely healed already. He is doing very well and has no more pain while urinating. It is encouraging to know that he is not unlike other little boys and that it will be ok.

You really helped set my mind at ease! I do believe that the body always takes care of itself and knows just what to do to heal itself, but it is sometimes very difficult when you see your little one in so much pain, to keep that faith.

Thank you again! You are all very wonderful!


rawgirl

[Sarah]

It sounds like this child has a phimosis, which was cased by premature forceful and repeated retraction... something which is known to cause problems exactly like this.

This does not sound to me like a case of a normal nonretractable foreskin because the word PINHOLE and the fact that a boy was distressed that he had no hole AT ALL to piss out. Normal non -retractable boys are not distressed over their lack of retractability and they certainly don't complain that they have no hole.

And by FOUR- even if not fully retractable, it is not normal for a boy to have a pinhole covered with cracks. Frank- where did you find THAT in descriptions of NORMAL- it most certainly is NOT!

Normal nonretractile boys don't have a motivation to tear at their foreskin so agressivly that it would crack and bleed. How bad do you think it hurt him to do that? How long had he been saying he had NO HOLE before he was forced to try to fix this ALONE?

So no- sorry Rawgirl, it does not sound normal or something that you should have been reassured over, it sounds like a CLASSIC TEXTBOOK case of the damage of forceful retraction and improper care of an intact boy.

Your son has a problem that was caused by improper advice on how to care for him. You should research conservative treatments for phimosis and find a doctor who knows how to deal with treating phimosis WITHOUT circumcision.

You can also look into suing the person who gave you the bad advice.

Please do not allow this condition to persist with your son in pain and distress. Every time he tears the end he will adds scar tissue to the scar tissue that was already there and things will get progressivly worse. He really needs help.

This article has pictures of the difference between normal infant and phimosis.
http://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/...w10610_fm.html

this website has an extensive list of articles on this subject to compliment or balance the advice of a doctor.

http://www.cirp.org/library/treatment/phimosis/
Please compare these pictures to your son when you decide how to proceed.

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by Sarah

And by FOUR- even if not fully retractable, it is not normal for a boy to have a pinhole covered with cracks. Frank- where did you find THAT in descriptions of NORMAL- it most certainly is NOT!

Normal nonretractile boys don't have a motivation to tear at their foreskin so agressivly that it would crack and bleed. How bad do you think it hurt him to do that? How long had he been saying he had NO HOLE before he was forced to try to fix this ALONE?

Unfortunately, Sarah, neither of us can be there to examine the child and neither of us can talk to the child so we have to go with the evidence presented. The cracking followed the retraction done by the child and it had not been present before so lacking further evidence, it would appear to be the cause. If the cracking goes away, then it is safe to assume that the cracking was caused by the retraction unless further evidence suggests otherwise.

We also don't know for sure why the boy did it but it appears from the evidence presented that he did it because he saw his younger brother retract and tried to imitate him. Again, pending further evidence, that's all we have to go on and it is reasonable and logical to assume it's true. Perhaps the boy will present more evidence to guide us to another conclusion.

Even if there is some phimosis, it is way too early to know for sure and it is way too early to know to what extent. This diagnosis is something that is reasonably and logically left until after puberty when it will be known to what extent phimosis is present (if at all) and when the boy can handle the resolution on his own and to the extent needed.

At this point and until further evidence is presented, I stand on my original statements.





Frank

[karlin]

Edited because I found the info I was looking for.