"WHAT?!?!" Those Things Nobody Warns You About.... - Page 9

[kater07]

I wish I'd known I'd turn into a 3 headed monster this time around. I am sooooo mad, pissy, hateful, beside myself, all the time. I hardly find anyone enjoyable, funny or fun at all. I want to be left the heck alone at all times.

I wish that someone had told me there was no way I'd ever have a sex drive again. I never get horny during pregnancy and post partum was not better. And the few times I thought I might actually get to orgasm during sex, DH couldn't keep his stinking hands off my breasts, so letdown happened and all my chances went out the window. Not only did letdown ruin the potential for orgasm, but it ruined sex for me altogether b/c I dried up down there and it just plain HURT after that. I haven't gotten horny this time either, but at least I am not nursing, so I have only colostrum and no letdown.

Oh, and my doctor was a super stupid jack a** who told me during a 3 wk pp visit (don't know why I was there at that time) that we could go ahead and have sex. Did I WANT sex, not a chance in heck, but DH took that as a chance to start whining that the doctor said I was perfectly ok to have sex and that I should WANT it too. THREE WEEKS AFTER A C/S. WTF? And then the same JA would NOT give me anti-depressants and told me that PPD was NOT in his job description.

I wish I'd known that there's not really anything to alleviate heartburn and that I'd feel like puking all the time b/c of it. I wish I'd known that I'd hate myself and how I look even more this time than last time. Certain sounds REALLY bother me, and I know they wouldn't bother me if I wasn't so hormonal. I wish I 'd known that during my 2nd pregnancy I'd be WAY ready to have it over with by now (29 weeks) when last time I loved it, enjoyed DS inside me and was actually sad when I went into labor.

I am sure other stuff will come up.

[happymamajenni]

I also enjoyed having my dd inside me and missed the belly baby like it was a different baby than the baby they put on my chest. I felt like my dd was someone else's baby, and I didn't feel like a mom for a really long time.
I hope it's different this time.

[kimmysue2]

That Doctors do not real read your list of do's and don'ts
That my gums would bleed everytime I brushed my teeth
that my hair would fall out
biggy, I would hurt more after the baby came out then when I was pushing him out.

[crayon]

It would have been nice if someone could have made it clear to me that when they said "you may have leaky breast" the really ment "you WILL leak gallons!"


I also agree with the skin issue, I was like "what the hell is wrong with my baby??" I was glad my mom was there and said "Ang, it is normal, she has been in fluid for 10 months!"

It would have been nice to hear "I screamed my brains out! Go for it girl, let it out" Instead I have heard from many women and my MIL "the lady down the hall screamed her head off and I was like 'SHUT UP LADY' " WTF?? I screamed so loud, just becaue I wanted everyone else to shut up- so I screamed over them so I couldnt hear them.

[Village Mama]

My midwife had never heard of this happening before...
When my pelvis started to tighten back up after the birth somthing pinched the nerves above my clit ( ) and every time I got aroused it would hurt!
This went on for almost a year...(imagine... ooohhhh! ow, ow,ow ow : NOOOOOOOO!!!!
With my second I had brutal morning sickness and kept peeing when barfing!
I always give the knowing wink to the women you see out in public, when when sneezing they squeeze thier legs together!
I wish somebody had told me that the nurses at the hospital dont really help you through your labor and how great it would have been to have a doula.
And that a positive outlook towards birth itself does wonders for your labor.
I am with the previous poster that wrote about missing her mom. I really missed being close to my family and wanted to share the experience,

[Karennnnn]

Hurting more after the baby came out than WHEN he came out. YES!!!
I had a natural birth with my son. After he was born I said, and I quote..
"I'll take that demerol now please".
I got half a dose of demerol and some tylenol because I was nursing. I am actually impressed that was taken into consideration!
My sister likes to make fun of me because I kept making phone calls right afterwards and was saying "I just got some demerol hehehe!!" just like that to EVERYONE!!
But yeah, the one thing that scares me about having a home birth this time is not the birth but the afterwards. I know there won't be any demerol. I guess I'll just have to get used to ice packs down there.
Leaky breasts. Mine didn't really leak too badly but I wore nursing pads for a few months until I felt confident. When my milk would come in though it would pour out of my boob. I thought it was amazing and incredible and FREAKING WEIRD!!!
I think that people DO tell you this, but that when you hear a baby crying or see one or talk about nursing, your milk lets down.
And along the lines of nurses not helping you, in some cases they're great in the delivery unit but in the mother/baby unit they kind of just leave you be and can't answer any questions. In some cases that's fine, but not if you're a first time mom. The one on one attention some of us need is either not there or it's the wrong kind of attention.
Geez I hope we're not scaring people!

[Persephone]

I have a pregnant coworker, and I knew that pregnant women drank a lot of water, but she said she has *cravings* for water. Not just "drink a lot because you should", but like, "must have water!". So that surprised me. I guess it makes sense though, because you have so much more fluid in your body.

[happymamajenni]

Originally Posted by Village Mama

With my second I had brutal morning sickness and kept peeing when barfing!
I always give the knowing wink to the women you see out in public, when when sneezing they squeeze thier legs together!

I know how this feels. My bladder has always been weak, but with my last pregnancy, it got worse. I'd get showered and dress in a business suit for work and by the time I got to the kitchen, any smell of food from the previous day or from hubby cooking his breakfast would make me puke in the kitchen garbage. But I'd also pee my pants even if I'd just gone. I'd have to wash up and change my clothes, so I started allowing extra time in case this happened. AHHH!
Now my bladder is even worse. If I don't wear pads my underwear are soaked by the end of the day. Even if I don't cough or sneeze and I go to the bathroom regularly it just seems to happen still. I do, however notice that this time the baby seems to irritate my bladder all the time, and I can feel him bouncing around on it when I walk. :

[Quindin]

VERY BAD afterpains after the birth of 2+ babies. NOBODY ever warned me about them...

Edited to add that I also peed all over myself when I puked while I had morning sickness... I thought it was only me and that I must have a horrible unusual weak bladder ot something!! Thanks for making me feel more normal! I must work better on those Kegels...

[carlasher]

Attention/flirting from other men.

It has increased by by 300% since I started showing. :LOL NO ONE warned me about that one.

[StacyL]

Originally Posted by Persephone

I knew that pregnant women drank a lot of water, but she said she has *cravings* for water. Not just "drink a lot because you should", but like, "must have water!". So that surprised me.

I actually had an aversion to water during my siw weeks of morning sickness. It would make me MORE nauseous! The only things I could drink were chocolate milk, Hawaiian Punch, and Fruit punch flavored Capri Sun.

[Village Mama]

The flirting! :LOL Thats so funny you mentioned that! Lots of men have a thing for pregnant women! My partner was asked by a couple of customers at his work if he was still able to have sex with me when I was pregnant ( inappropriate?!!!)

[JesiLynne]

Vent Ahead!!!!!!!!

That the people at hospitals who are there to help you,( nurses, bfding consultants, doctors) end up making you feel like crap just because you don't have a degree in that specialty.
The nurse who took care of me right after I gave birth was a HUGE B@#$%,
acting like I was a huge pain in her a@#.
The bfding consultant who came to see me the next day was totally rude to my mom.
My mom came to see me at the hospital, and then the consultant came in and introduced herself.
My mom was excited and said, " Oh, I'm a bfding consultant too. I bfed 5 babies."
The woman looked at her like she was just a crazy person and said something along the lines that she would be the one to give me advice so that my mom wouldn't give me the wrong idea.
My son ended up in the NICU because he was a premie, and one of the weekend nurses pushed and pushed and pushed formula supplementing b/c " He will lose weight if you don't"
No matter what I did or said, I was the new mom who couldn't possibly know more than her b/c she went to school for 4 years.
I'm the oldest of 5 kids, not to mention one of 20 plus cousins who I took care of when they were babies and have a 6 year old adopted daughter, plus a wonderful crunchy mom who taught me well.
HOW DARE SHE TELL ME I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And God forbid I not take my kids to a pediatrician and jsut go with my GP who has seen my entire family for years and knows the medical history. I was terrified that someone was not going to give me my baby when it came time to go home because I didn't want to follow all their mainstream bullcrap.
THANK GOD FOR HOMEBIRTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[artgirl]

This may be TMI but I really wished someone would've mentioned to me that my *private* area would never LOOK the same again.
And that it would be a huge gaping hole for awhile after birth. ARGH. I remember sitting on the toilet getting up enough courage to look down there and :
It got better. but never back to the perfect little opening it was before the whole thing began. Yeah, probably common sense if I would've stopped to think about it...

And the pooping (or lack thereof) after the birth. I knew about the pooping during labor but no one told me my poop would turn into bowling balls after I had dd. I dreaded pooping more than anything.

And I wish someone would've told me about engorgement. Wow were my boobs big, hard and scarey looking. I learned later that I really should've been wearing a bra the whole time to keep them *confined* at least a little. Poor dd would choke from the letdown.

Ahhhh.... looking forward to it all again at the end of Feb.

[Lila]

My midwife wouldn't leave until I had had a bm (I didn't in labour) and I was privately afraid to. Nobody told me that for WEEKS after birth whenever I sat on the toilet (because I was so open "down there") it felt like all of my insides were going to spill out. (icky)

the after birth shakes were a surprise for me, as well.

ALSO- my biggie
That my first child would seem like a complete stranger after the baby came. This toddler, whom I had nursed and shared my bed with for the first 18 months of her life, who had been my pride and joy, my angel for the last 2 years, would come into my room an hour after the birth of my second, and I would feel as though I didn't know her. That was scary. I cried about her for days. It was about a week before she seemed normally familiar to me again.

[Karennnnn]

Speaking of insides falling out...
After I had a c-section, my stomach felt like absolute mush; like there were no muscles at all; like they had been severed. I suppose they were eh? On the car ride home, my stomach jiggled with every single bump. I thought maybe that's what happened after birth period.
A year later when my son was born via vbac, none of this happened. Not that I had abs of steel afterwards, but the jello sensation didn't occur.
Just one more reason not to have a c-section!

[heket]

Thanks ladies, it's good to be reminded of all those things I've conveniently forgotten with the romanticized notion of birth. :LOL

I just wanted to double another response I saw somewhere about dh not being the doting new father. I should've known better, as he's not terribly expressive. But I truly thought he'd be more sympathetic and understanding of the wonders and changes. Instead, he was pretty indifferent about the whole event -- until she was born.

As for this time around, I wish I would have know how much more extreme things would be -- how much more crazy, weepy, angry, moody, sick, etc. It's really throwing me for a loop.

[carolsly]

Akkkk

I read The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. She tells it like it is, but I really wish someone would have told me it was normal to leak all kids of things when I was pregnant. First pg I was in the Coast Guard and our pants were those aweful polyester ones and I had no a/c in my office during the summer in southern CA.

As far as birth, I wish someone would have said something about the pooping as I read the Girlfriends Guide to pregnancy after I gave birth to my first. With #2, I didn't care, I knew it would happen so I was okay. I wish someone would have told me not to bother with the epidural with my first dd. I would have had such a better birth without it. I wish that the southern CA hospital would have had a better LC. They didn't even have an official one in Ketch, AK, but the nurses were well versed and helped me out.

Good Luck..I'm excited for you all and I hope to add one more to our family in 3 years when I finish college.

[Quindin]

Originally Posted by heket

I just wanted to double another response I saw somewhere about dh not being the doting new father. I should've known better, as he's not terribly expressive. But I truly thought he'd be more sympathetic and understanding of the wonders and changes. Instead, he was pretty indifferent about the whole event -- until she was born.
.

I also have come to accept it as a fact of my life that DH sucks as a "pregnant husband" :LOL On the other hand, he has always been a FABULOUS dad from the second the baby is born - he is the best.

[Einhorn]

Here's one I haven't seen (it's supposed to be rare I guess)-- that PP you can heal with your labia/vagina "stuck together" (enough that they can't do a pap smear) and have to go in for surgery at 10 weeks PP to have a one inch section cut back apart and stitched to the sides. I had to fight with the OB doing it to just use local and not put me under -- both because I was nursing and because I know I didn't want to deal with the after affects of being out. Fortunately the anesthesiologist was on my side if I was okay with just a local (and talked with me through the whole thing to keep my mind off of it!), but we did it in the OR just in case, which was good since it was longer than the OB thought and she needed the lights, etc.

It's on my list of things to talk to the midwives about this round -- how to keep it from happening again!