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"WHAT?!?!" Those Things Nobody Warns You About.... - Page 10

post #181 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by polihaupt
I also have come to accept it as a fact of my life that DH sucks as a "pregnant husband" :LOL On the other hand, he has always been a FABULOUS dad from the second the baby is born - he is the best.
I'll ditto that!!

Things I wish I had known:

Totally wish I was better prepared for the afterpains - especially while BF'ing. OUCH.

That the urge to push can start out feeling like the urge to have a bowel movement and to go with it!

That you can tell that annoying nurse to SHUT UP and it's OK.

That not all hospitals are bad - it really is possible to have a beautiful and natural birth in one.

That you are less likely to puke during labor if you use your focal point during contractions - like religiously

That blood clots really can be HUGE and you're not dying

That your hair will fall out for a few months after delivery and you won't actually go bald.
post #182 of 354
BTW, I also had the severe shakes on and off for two days. I thought it was drug-related (like from the epidural or something) but I noticed on the second day that I would shake only in the presence of staff. Such as the nurses who came to catheterize me and later carry me to the bathroom, as well as the resident who came in the early morning rounds, and the med-student who was present at the birth and later came to check on me. It has me wondering if those shakes are a little bit of post-traumatic stress symptoms, triggered by seeing the people related to the "event."
post #183 of 354
hello, I'm 38 weeks, 5 days, and I've learned two new things in the last week, that I wish I had known:

1. you can have contractions for days on end that stop and start and even are regular and painful and still stop and you still have to go to work!

2. that the pelvic to check your progress can hurt like h#$%, and you might not find anything out cause the kid's head is so low the nurse can't reach the tip of your uterus without causing you extreme discomfort.

argh.
post #184 of 354
oh yeah, rainy, the work thing. ugh. i was at work the day i went into l&d with my water broke and contractions with my first. i went from work to the doctor and straight into the hospital. my boss still jokes about it (i took the bus 'cause i wasn't sure i was in labor and i didn't want to trouble anyone).

this week i worked through some pretty horrid contractions because i had to finish a project that afternoon. blech.
post #185 of 354
I wish someone told me one labia can swell up and be bigger than the other.

post #186 of 354
In some apects I was actually pleasantly surprised. For instance, I'd been told my whole life by my mother, and once by my best friend's mom, that labor hurts so bad you'll swear you're going to die, because no human being can possibly survive something so painful. My mom also told me many times I could never have a baby, even with drugs, because I was too big of a whimp. I think it just gave me more motivation! Haha! And here I go to do it all over again!

I really didn't expect post-partum to be so hard. I remember thinking that birth, as hard as it was, was so much easier than recovering, breastfeeding, and adapting to my new 24/7 job.

I didn't know about puking until just now though! Man you guys, now I'm terrified! I didn't really care about pooping since I was in the water and my doula kept a poop scoop with her lol. Although, just for the record, I didn't poop.

Also, I thought I'd fall instantly in love with the baby right away. I didn't, it took about 2 days. I think it just took some adjusting to going from having a baby inside, to outside.

One thing I wasn't prepared for was how incredibly painful it is to pee afterward! The perry bottle wasn't enough. For an entire month EVERY time I had to pee I had to get in to a sitz bath, and even then it took all I had to not scream. I really hope it won't be as bad this time... I won't even mention the pain involved with bowel movements...
post #187 of 354
Oh, I'm so glad to see this thread revived.
Nobody warned me how unbelievably sexy it was to watch my dh stare into that little face and sing so softly to her.
I had a c-section after 10 days in hospital that rounded out the pregnancy from hell. My spinal didn't take. I felt everything. They kept telling me to take the general anaesthetic and originally I told them as soon as I'd seen her and knew she was ok that they could put me out. But once I saw her, I couldn't stand the thought of even closing my eyes for a second. I told them I was fine. Later I found out that my OB thought at least some of the spinal had finally taken. Then at the end of everything they asked me to help them sort of shimmy myself over to the stretcher--well, I lifted both legs, sat up and shoved myself off the surgery table. My OB told me the next day that she had no idea that obviously NONE of the spinal had worked and said "I don't know how you did it" I just told her once I saw that little face, I felt no more pain.
post #188 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by shannon0218
My OB told me the next day that she had no idea that obviously NONE of the spinal had worked and said "I don't know how you did it" I just told her once I saw that little face, I felt no more pain.
WOW!! : : :
post #189 of 354
I would have loved to have known that is is possible to wake up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat when the AC is set to 60 and your DH is freezing in July. I woke up crying because I thought I had peed the bed. My shirt was soaked, my side of the sheets were soaked, and all I could say was "Sweetie, I'm sorry but I peed the bed". He came over, felt the bed (and smelled it!) and reassured me that I did not pee the bed.

I would have also like to have known that following birth, when I tried to lay on my side, I'd feel my body sloshing around inside of me.
post #190 of 354
Wow, I wish I'd read this thread before my first was born! How enlightening and how true!!

I was shocked by the huge, lonely belly afterward, and the fact that I lost a total of 1 pound in giving birth to a 7.5lb baby.

The night sweats and leaking were also something I was ill-prepared for, and the hospital only changed sheets once a week! The mama who recommended preparing lots of bedding and towels was right. I would add that having many changes of loungewear might be helpful as well.

I had an episiotomy, and didn't ask for pain relief because none was offered. It was excruciating to sit, but I had to sit in order to breastfeed. Next time, I'll ask!!

And best of all, I remember that feeling of looking at people walking outside my window, and marveling at the miracles we all are. I still can get tears thinking about that revelation, and try to remind myself of it when I can. It's that buddhanature-in-everyone thang, I guess.

warmly,
Kam, mamamama! to Meg and one more due in March
post #191 of 354
WOW Shannon, that is seriously one of the most incredible stories I've ever heard! I admire you. And have to agree with what you said about dh. We had a homebirth and after we all got out of the birth tub, cleaned up, and onto the bed I remember looking over at him in his jammies, holding our brand new daughter and thinking "Oh my gosh, what's wrong with me!!?? I just gave birth and I'm thinking about sex!!" And that was odd anyway cuz we had a really sucky marriage (this is my ex I'm talking about).

Also, yeah for sure about the gut thing. My doula had told me everything would just sort of be suspended in there... but there are many things I was "told" about that I could never have been prepared for. I wrapped my abdomen tight in cheese cloth (which was recommended by my doula) and that helped SO much... so if you're expecting, trust me, WRAP YOURSELF UP after birth. I did it for several weeks. I couldn't stand how it felt to even take it off long enought to re-wrap it (it got loose several times a day). eww
post #192 of 354

This is, without a doubt, the best thing I've read thus far in my pregnancy.

I just have to send huge hugs to everyone, and thank you all so much for sharing this!!!

post #193 of 354
I love this! You girls all rock! I have a few to share from my previous 2 babies:

1. Just because you didn't get morning sickness with #1, doesn't mean you won't get it with #2. (but you may get lucky again and not have it with #3)

2. Sciatic pain hurts. A lot.

3. Nobody told me I'd be able to see the baby move in the later stages of pregnancy. Holy! That was a shocker!

4. Pregnant bellies & boobs get itchy. Really, really, itchy.

5. A really fast labor is not necessarily a great way to do it.

6. Epidurals don't always work.

7. Epidurals (when they work) can have side effects like numbness, the shakes and feeling like you are freezing.

8. They don'y always feed you in the hospital. (After birthing #2, I was given the teeniest sandwich at 2 am. At 8 am I asked for breakfast, at 8:30 I asked again., at 9:30 I asked again (DIDN'T GET IT) so I checked myself out AMA.

9. You don't necessarily love your child(ren) instantly. And that's OK.

10. Not all milk ducts are in your nipple! I had a leaker from the side of my breast with #2.

11. Milk can and does shoot across the room during let down.
post #194 of 354
I would add to pique's #11 that milk can also shoot during orgasm. Don't be shocked when you find both of your chests wet.

A good way to deal with the sciatic nerve pain (which I've had since I was 11), other than seeing a Chiropractor which is a necessity, esp during pregnancy... but if you can lay on your stomach (or some variation of it) and have some one put the palm of their hand on the center of the pain, press down, and just jiggle the monkies out of it... it loosens up those muscles in there and feels soooo good... but sometimes tickles out of control too
post #195 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by pique

10. Not all milk ducts are in your nipple! I had a leaker from the side of my breast with #2.

That's a new one for me! And I thought I'd heard it all! I'll keep an eye out.
post #196 of 354
It's also important to keep in mind, if this is your second, that bfing can be VERY tough in the begining, and every baby is different. Just because you mastered it with #1 doesn't mean you'll be a natural right away this time. And this is okay.
post #197 of 354
Just wanted to add this too... because I seriously thought something was wrong with me... for some women let down HURTS. It was always painful for me, esp in the begining when I had no clue what it was. I'd get the shrieking pain from all the way under my arms shooting down to my nipples, and within a minute the baby would start crying. I was baffled.
post #198 of 354
Quote:
It's also important to keep in mind, if this is your second, that bfing can be VERY tough in the begining, and every baby is different. Just because you mastered it with #1 doesn't mean you'll be a natural right away this time. And this is okay.
Just want to add that the opposite is true as well. If you had trouble the first time you may NOT have trouble breastfeeding the second child.
post #199 of 354
Great thread!

I think someone (BobbyJuice) commented a year ago about those stupid hippy books that talk about falling asleep during contractions/pushes... well, I wish someone had mentioned that to me- I did fall asleep between pushes! I fought it at first, but then decided with 4 doctors attending (my doc & 3 med students), several nurses, and my dh there they'd wake me up if necessary.

How HORRIBLY uncomfortable hospital beds are. : I couldn't get discharged fast enough.

That the frozen diapers in the room's fridge were for *me* to wear!

The huge clots PP were definitely freaky...

That it would be impossible for me to sleep 3-4 days PP because of getting mastitis, engorgement and needing to pump 2 every 2 hours while trying to convice my dd to latch onto the ROCKS that were my breasts... and that I would be maniacally alert the whole time!

That your doctors can decide at 42 weeks that it's just not gonna happen for you and guilt trip you with scary numbers and "it's not advisable" statements to be induced... like I would have just never gone into labor? *sigh*

That it is so hard to stop thinking about your birth... for some reason now I find myself "reliving" various aspects of my dd's birth every night before sleep (probably b/c I'm 18 weeks now?)
post #200 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by grace's voice
Just wanted to add this too... because I seriously thought something was wrong with me... for some women let down HURTS. It was always painful for me, esp in the begining when I had no clue what it was. I'd get the shrieking pain from all the way under my arms shooting down to my nipples, and within a minute the baby would start crying. I was baffled.
YES! i had this- what can only be described as "shooting" pain starting around the back near the shoulder blade, and wrapping around the breast, down the arm to the fingertips. Everything i read (and the class at the hospital) said- You might feel "uncomfortable" during let down for the first few days". This pain brought tears to my eyes and stuck around for the first 3-4 weeks-- then it slowly subsided over the course of another week. It was really hard to face each feeding and I would not have been able to get through it without dh's help. (he had no idea what was going on but was very supportive about me continuing to breastfeed)

Oh how it all comes back...

That the days leading up to labor can be more uncomfortable than the birth itself. Athough everyone swore the baby was not posterior I had major back pain and just crawled between the bed and the bathtub for 3 days. I even vomited just from the pain- and I hadn't had any trouble with nausea up til that point! Then I had 24 hrs of feeling GREAT before the serious contractions began.

That you can be constipated before heading into labor and have the opposite problem afterwards : (everyone else seems to have the opposite experience)

That smooshy stomach after giving birth.... many women have their abdominals separate at some point during pregnancy and most of the time you won't even notice when it happens. You can have a "valley" there for a LONG time after (months, years), even if you are religious about doing stomach crunches.

That after giving birth you'll feel like you can do just about ANYTHING. (It inspired me to achieve my long-term goal of running a marathon. I had been running for over a decade but never had the confidence to try for it. When dd was 18 months I finally did my first one and loved it!)
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