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"WHAT?!?!" Those Things Nobody Warns You About.... - Page 11

post #201 of 354
oh, oh! My turn!

That almost from the moment of conception pregnancy is physically overwhelming, and completely not under your control.

That to dh the pregnancy would not be "real" at any point before labor.

That your pelvis is actually 3 separate pieces.

That immediately after birth, I would loose half my blood volume and no one would be scared but me.
post #202 of 354
Oh, wait I have more.

That during labor I really needed to hear someone tell me what I knew I should be doing (and didn't do, because no one told me to).

That circumcision can result in life threatening bleeding and that only about 1/2 of boys are circed. No one would have made fun of him.

That I'd think he was beautiful from the moment he was born, and not funny looking at all.

that it would take me 3 months to figure out that he was really staying.
post #203 of 354
Things I wish people had told me about beforehand:

2. forgetfulness
3. constantly being a bit emotional
4. S-I joint pain
5. gagging whenever I brush my teeth

I had no idea about SO MUCH stuff in pregnancy. It's like this other alternate universe you fall into and suddenly people are telling you things and you're reading things and you had no idea about any of it before.
post #204 of 354
Grabbing onto the handles while pushing can make blood vessels under your nails break and for weeks (months?) afterward those little stains would be growing out of your nails.

Feeling like I had an open gaping wound "down there" after vbacing an almost 9 pounder and how icky that made me feel, physically and emotionally.

That while bonding doesn't always happen immediately, when it finally does "cement" it can be overwhelming. I called my mom 6 weeks pp with my first sobbing because I had suddenly realized that this was also how much she loved ME.

More pain pills after c-sections. Don't just suffer because your prescription runs out. Pain can inhibit your recovery. I'm asking for 4 weeks worth this time.
post #205 of 354
OK, here goes:

1) That one can go into labor without actually noticing it. Andrej was to be born by scheduled c-section and I had spent several nights in the hospital before his big day. That fateful morning, the nurses roused me as usual at 5 am and put me on the monitor. One of them exclaimed "Ma'am, don't you realize that you're in labor?!? Your contractions are strong and coming regularly every few minutes" and I said "No, I didn't notice it, I'm still asleep." An internal exam revealed that I was 4-5 cm open. After that revelation, getting ready for the operation made me so nervous that I hardly noticed anything going on with my body, it just seemed like the same old Braxton-Hicks stuff.

2) That getting up maybe 3x during night to nurse and change a newborn is actually a lot easier than getting up every 30 minutes to pee, so rather than feeling sleep-deprived, I felt like I was finally getting back to normal.

3) The erotic aspect of nursing. Yes, I had read about this, but it was so much DIFFERENT than any other kind of erotic sensations I've had and nobody described it much. When the sensations came, I didn't want to jump on my man, grab myself, or, god forbid, do something unholy to the baby. It was just a very physical, spiritual, sunny kind of connected bliss.

Skin tags - other mamas mentioned them. I remove them with nail scissors/clippers. I don't know if this is "recommended," but it is effective and they don't grow back in the same spot.
post #206 of 354
oh - two more:

1) That 2 days after a C-section you may weigh more than when you entered the hospital! How is this possible? All the crap they give you through IVs weighs more than what they take out of you. I was in shock and disbelief when I checked the scale, but the nurses just laughed and explained it all.

2) That milk can take a really really long time to come in. Andrej was born on a Monday morning and I didn't have milk for the poor little guy until Thursday afternoon.
post #207 of 354
Originally Posted by CJ 5
To use kyosil and lots of water at the first sign of constipation because hemroids SUCK!!!!
What is kyosil? I googled it and didn't find anything in English.

Originally Posted by CJ 5
all that crap at babies R us is a waste of money. Ask AP moms for the essentials and beg your friends to give you gift certificates or exchange exchange exchange after your shower.
TRUE TRUE TRUE! Not to hijack...but anyone have an idea what to suggest to my non-crunchy-but-open-to-my-crunchy-influence sis who wants me to help her register at BabiesRUS?
post #208 of 354
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama
Piglet, I love the name Sasha!
That's my name, too!

For me, the stretching pains early in pregnancy scared the cr*p out of me, and the pooping during pushing. I'd heard about it, but just thought it was rare.
post #209 of 354
My advice is this:

What might have happened for someone else might not be true for you. What might be true for you might not be true for someone else. Every pregnancy/birth/post partum period is different.
post #210 of 354
What are "skin tags"? Are those those icky things I call "hangy moles"?

Not to be gross, but when I was pg with #1 I got these painful swollen red... hangy moles... on my bikini area. They would come and go randomly. The ones I had at birth just sort of deflated and are now hardly noticeable. My midwife said she'd never seen anything like it before. Are these what keep being mentioned here?

Also wanted to say, I knew nothing about the early uterine streaching sensations till this time around, and I'm so thankful to read about it here, otherwise I'd be freaking out thinking something was wrong!
post #211 of 354
Some of the ones I thought of have already been mentioned but I'll put down everything I can think of anyways!

1. The feelings of love are not right away all the time. I was devastated that even after I brought DD home I was never overwhelmed with love for her. In fact most of the time I just stared at her like, "Oh ok so you're here now". Definitely doesn't last though!

2. Not everyone has bowel issues (constipation etc.)! I had heard that you get constipated or you get diarreha (in labour) and was so terrified that it was going to happen to me! (I have an intense disgust of bowel movements so this was especially hard on me).

3. Babies do not always want to eat right away. In fact they may not want to eat all day especially if you had pain killer. DD didn't nurse until the day after she was born and because of that they threatened to give her formula but didn't go the extra mile and help me to get her to eat.

4. Umbilical cord care. I'm still unsure of it. I heard to swipe around it with rubbing alcohol to dry it out so it falls off but I've also heard not to do that cause it will dry it out and possibly crack the skin around it. *SIGH* DD's still hadn't fallen off about three weeks later so I broke down and swiped it with rubbing alcohol. It fell off within a week.

5. I.V. fluids are cold. Cold enough you can feel their temp. as they go in. Totally normal!
5a. If you are planning a homebirth and decide to go in for pain killer weight is a good thing to be sure of. DO NOT guesstimate on it. If you must do so be safe and guess under. MEdicine delivered according to weight limits are that way for a reason. I was given to much and passed out during the pushing and for the following three hours. I was not coherent until late the next day. We guess too high a number.

ETA: This was a big one for us.
Due to an increase in blood but not neccessarily the best blood circulation things will likely swell and then get stuck! Possibly TMI but I had one lip of my girly goods swell (it looked like a large kidney bean ) and only that one. I freaked out when it happened. I thought something was wrong with me. Turns out I had a part of my back out (due to being pregnant) so it allowed for an inlet to that area but not neccessarily an outlet. Very frightening!
post #212 of 354

Instead of Babies R' Us


Does ebay do gift certificates? There is a lot of great AP-friendly stuff there. (Though of course sis should not buy a used car seat!) Or you could suggest that your sister ask for donations through PayPal and then she can use that for ebay purchases. Or, what about Amazon gift certificates? Since an AP mom doesn't need that much stuff, she can use her friends' generosity to feed her child's mind as it grows.

Arguing with mainstreamers that all the "crap" isn't necessary is a waste of time, they think that you will eventually break down and buy it anyway and they will get to gloat. Therefore, it's better to let them think you're already loaded up. Your sister can tell her non-crunchy friends "Thanks, but we really have everything we need except for XXXXX, which is available on ebay" or "we already have everything else, but I know I'm going to be reading to this child a lot so the Amazon certificates would come in handy."
post #213 of 354
Wow, mamas, I just have to say as a first time mama-to-be this thread is FREAKING ME OUT! : : :

I knew the birth process was messy and hard, but this! Softball-sized blood clots! Mucus plugs splattering like cherry pie! Breastmilk squirting around the room, left, right, center! FEELING YOUR UTERUS SLIDING OUT OF YOUR BODY WHEN YOU PEE!! The horror that is post-partum pooping! Fluids oozing out of every conceivable orifice (not to mention out of the baby's orifices, too!)

I think what's really upsetting me is how out of control and just plain messy the whole thing is going to be. The sheer physical humiliation of it all. (Man, I'm tearing up again!).

I just... I don't know what to say. Is it too late to turn back? Do I really have to go through with all that? Anyone? Help?
post #214 of 354
bruised nipples. i anticipated nursing issues, and luckily had none, but two days after my daughter was born my nipples were purple. would have been nice to have known yr nipples don't just crack or get dry or bleed, but BRUISE too.

and that new babies brathe fast and shallow. and sneeze. i was not expecting a sneezing newborn.
post #215 of 354
whoa there mama, take a deep breath (or two).

I think what's really upsetting me is how out of control and just plain messy the whole thing is going to be. The sheer physical humiliation of it all.

I have to tell you that this was not my experience at all. Birth wasn't "out of control" it was just going to happen no matter what. I felt like it was *controlled* but maybe not by me at a certain point. I felt like my body was in control... and very confident about it too... but not my BRAIN anymore. That was a very empowering experience, not humiliating. It was awesome!
Your body is strong and so amazingly smart when it comes to giving birth. Its your mind that is weak and afraid. At a point your mind just kinda switches off, stops fighting and goes with it and then its really... awesome. (I'm using that word alot here).

I admit, that after birth... that's kinda messy. I'm not crazy about the recovery period.

Now, back to the topic at hand.
I wish someone would've been able to tell me how much I was going to love my dd. Convince me that I would be willing, eager, desperate actually, to change me whole life to be with her. That I would NOT want to go back to work, the job that I LOVED because I would not want to let anyone else take care of her. That the moment she was born I would be a completely new person as well. That the world would be different forever to me.

Good luck all you mamas getting ready.
post #216 of 354
Marylizah it'll be okay! 2 things I try to keep in mind.
1) Pregnancy/birth/recovery are really such a short time in your life. Especially birth. When you go out of your "thinking mind" and turn to instinct you lose track of all time. When Juels was born and I found out it had been 3 hours since my water broke I couldn't believe it. It would have been easier to belive someone had changed the clock to mess with me. I really thought there was no way it could have been more than an hour. All of it comes and goes SO FAST, even a long labor is a small price to pay for the reward.
2) It's all about attitude. The women who birth naturally and look back on the experience with fondness are most often the women who just believed they could do it in the first place. Now, I didn't really feel like this till my last month. You'll be surprized how much you change, not only physically, but also spiritually and emotionally as this pregnancy progresses. Remember: You can do anything if you can just believe you can. You were CREATED to do this!
Also, for me, from the time I found out I was pg, till several months after the birth, I lost all sense of modesty. I didn't care who saw what, esp the widwives and my doula. It did come back though! I never felt/feel humiliated or anything like that, and it wasn't long before my attitude about covering up went back to normal.

I wasn't prepared for how my attitude toward my pets would change. Is that wierd? I had 2 cats at the time, have always had cats, had always loved them like my children... but once I gave birth it just changed. They instantly went to the back burner. Not that I didn't take care of them, or still "like" them, but so much of the love I had for them disappeared... they sort of became little nuisances
post #217 of 354
Thanks for the reassurance, mamas. Just to be a little more precise (and a little less hysterical!) it's not the giving birth part that is freaking me out. I feel (relatively) comfortable about that and all the gore it entails.

What I'm finding so shocking is what happens AFTERWARDS. I assumed you bled a bit, and sure, dealing with breastmilk might be a little complicated at first but that would be about it.

Of course it's natural and women have done it for millenia and , but that doesn't make me feel any better about the fact that not only will I be dealing with a newborn but also the gross, horrible nasty mess from my own body. Just seems like a lot to take, kwim?

Anyway, I don't want to hijack the thread-- even though it's majorly freaking me out I'm taking lots of notes. (Where's the wan smile face?)
post #218 of 354
grace's voice:
You hit the nail on the head with the pets.
I would not have believed it if it hadn't happened to me!!
I have a dog and a cat. I loved them both immensely. I used to annoy my co-workers by talking about them/bringing them to work.

I can barely stand the sight of them now after babies. It's HORRIBLE. I would feel worse about it but I just don't have the time.
The cat still tries to sit on my lap in the evening when the kiddos are alseep... I cannot tolerate it. After a whole day of being totally physical with children I can't take it enough to let the poor cat on my lap.

My dh is in charge of pets now. I pretend they aren't around except when I'm totally annoyed with the fur everywhere. :
post #219 of 354

The cat still tries to sit on my lap in the evening when the kiddos are alseep... I cannot tolerate it. After a whole day of being totally physical with children I can't take it enough to let the poor cat on my lap.


LOL... oh I know, and I used to be one of those ppl who would sit still for hours if the cat was on my just to keep from waking the little fur ball! I worked at a pet store for 6 years too. Now we only have pets that live in cages (a cockatiel and 2 turtles, but I didn't vote for the turtles).

Another thing that just occured to me (sorry to take over the thread, but this one is important)...
I was told in Bradley class that when your milk comes in (several days after birth) you undergo a greater hormonal change than all of the years of menopause PUT TOGETHER. But nothing, NOTHING could have prepared me for it! When I woke up the morning of the 3rd day and couldn't feed my hungry baby... I tried EVERYTHING, all the tricks (hot shower, manual expression, dh sucking, hot wide-mouthed jar, etc.) The one thing I didn't have was a breast pump. So, until 11:30 PM, when dh (after a hellish hunt and a lot of stress, car running out of gas on him, and so forth) I couldn't get her latched on. This killed me. We both cried all day (me and baby). She latched on once for a few minutes, then threw up 7 times in the preceeding half hour Anyway, add the chaos and guilt to the hormones... it was the worst day of my life. I'm making sure I have a pump on hand this time. Oh, and I also had no clue how painful the pump would be... I got "stuck" in it... ouch!
post #220 of 354
The Hitler mustache I have had during my last two pg's. And it's not hair. My actual skin is darker (melasma/chloasma) on my upper lip, so I can't bleach it. Oy!

Oh, and my seeming inability to wipe thoroughly. It doesn't matter how hard I try, it still seems to trickle down my leg when I stand. What is up with that? I'm going to have to dye all my socks yellow.
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