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"WHAT?!?!" Those Things Nobody Warns You About.... - Page 14

post #261 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by nmm2112
How about the fact that us belly sleepers still can's sleep on our bellies after birth!

I love sleeping on my belly and had been soooo looking forward to being able to get back to my old sleeping position after all the months of pregnancy. Only to find that my breasts were so full of milk it was super uncomfortable to lay on them and if I did I'd end up with a milk soaked mattress....after 6 months my milk supply wasn't soo over anxious and I could finally sleep on my belly....
I found that sleeping on my belly was delayed to years later when my babies were weaned and out of the family bed...I missed holding a baby close to my body, so I now lay on my side/belly, holding a pillow...:
post #262 of 354
I haven't read this whole thread, but:

1. Everyone always told me that I would have a birth that was similar to that of my mother and/or sister. Holy crap, that wasn't true! With BeanBean alone I had more labor than all of the women in my family line put together for four generations! If you add up the amount of time that my sister, (two births) mother, (five births) grandmother (two births) and great-grandmother (nine births) spent in labor, you get less than half of the time that I spent in labor with BeanBean. It might be less than a quarter. Women in my family typically have labors so easy and fast that they're totally unbelievable to people who've never witnessed them, and they bring new meaning to the words "precipitate labor." I was in active, painful, holy-crap-this-hurts-for-the-love-of-god-end-it-now labor for at least 4.5 days.

2. The size of the opening in your pelvis is totally irrelevant if your body tissues are too swollen from preecclampsia to push.

3. If you're going to have a doctor follow you for your pregnancy, a man is more likely to be compasionate and understanding than a woman. I thought that this was just my experience, but apparently it's very common; female doctors feel like they know everything, especially the ones who've given birth themselves, so they don't take you seriously. Male doctors *know* that they can't and don't know how it feels to be pregnant or have a baby, so they don't feed you a line of bull that you can smell coming from a mile off.

4. That a difficult birth or a c-section does not make it impossible to establish a nursing relationship, and that it's absolutely possible to establish a nursing relationship even if you don't nurse within the first hour. I was absolutely terrified that BeanBean would never be able to learn to nurse because I'd missed that critical "window."

5. That not every woman will have a difficult time getting their milk to come in if they're pumping. The protocols at our NICU for establishing supply were all based on the idea that most women don't have enough milk if they're exclusively pumping. I was not one of those women; even though BeanBean was only in the NICU for a week, I came home with a massive oversupply (and half of a freezer full of milk!).

6. Even if you do everything "right," you can get your period and ovulate very early on during nursing. I got my period back at around 3.5 months pp after BooBah was born, when I was *tandem* nursing. INSANE!!

7. I really wish that someone had told me that orgasms can cause contractions. I've seen it in books since, but I never saw it before I got pregnant with BeanBean.

8. That even when you're pregnant for the first time, the sound of a baby crying or the smell of a new baby can cause you to shoot milk everywhere! I had to wear nursing pads full time by the time I was 6 months pregnant because I was always embarassing myself in public. This wasn't a problem with the second pregnancy, because BeanBean nursed the whole time and there was never a drop to spare.
post #263 of 354
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post #264 of 354
Ummmmm...... organs falling out!!! I.e. urethra, uterus, etc. Oh, and having incontinence both fecal & urine!!!!!

Definitely would have been nice to know about!!

I actually don't have all of these (well, not that I know of yet!!!) but am told that if you get one of them, most likely you will get the other ones and need a hysterectomy and other "stuff" repaired, and it may only last a few years and need to be redone!!! Oh yeah, and no heavy lifting for like forever!! Try that with a newborn and a toddler!!

Sorry, just wanted to get that out!!
post #265 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilysmama
Ummmmm...... organs falling out!!! I.e. urethra, uterus, etc. Oh, and having incontinence both fecal & urine!!!!!

Definitely would have been nice to know about!!

I actually don't have all of these (well, not that I know of yet!!!) but am told that if you get one of them, most likely you will get the other ones and need a hysterectomy and other "stuff" repaired, and it may only last a few years and need to be redone!!! Oh yeah, and no heavy lifting for like forever!! Try that with a newborn and a toddler!!

Sorry, just wanted to get that out!!
This would not happen in a normal healthy pregnancy. I have had 3 children and never had anything like this. Kegels will prevent incontinence.
post #266 of 354
You are very lucky!!! It's actually very common. But again, one of those things nobody talks about. I had two very healthy pregnancies and delivered naturally with my second. Kegals unfortunately don't do miracles for all. Here's a website if you're interested...

http://www.mybladdermd.com/whatis.htm

I also belong to some other boards that most of the women are between ages 22 and 47. One of them is U.P.R.I.S.E.(Uterine Prolapse Research, Information, Support, & Education) http://prolapse.hyperboards2.com/ind...rd=Talk&start=
post #267 of 354

Even a year later

Things down south must've changed permanently, because I have to be *very* careful or my pee sprays everywhere. I wet the carpet the other day (DH suggested I try sitting down - very funny!)

Sciatica and Coccydynia can linger lifelong; a chiropractor can help with one, and a coccyx pillow with the other.
post #268 of 354
Ah, yes, my old friend coccydynia...to think, I'd almost forgotten that it is quite possible to literally bust your a$$ while delivering! That pain lasted well over a year!

Another is how long your "racing stripe" (linea nigra) may linger, if you are so *lucky* to develop one when pregnant.

And, I will agree, even with ridiculous amounts of kegels, urinary incontinence (to one degree or another and for varying amounts of time) is quite common during and after many normal, healthy pregnancies.
post #269 of 354
"extra" nipples. I knew I had three small bumps around one aerola, but then I discovered what they were during pregnancy...no wonder my children love that breast more...they get more!
post #270 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilysmama
You are very lucky!!! It's actually very common. But again, one of those things nobody talks about. I had two very healthy pregnancies and delivered naturally with my second. Kegals unfortunately don't do miracles for all. Here's a website if you're interested...

http://www.mybladdermd.com/whatis.htm

I also belong to some other boards that most of the women are between ages 22 and 47. One of them is U.P.R.I.S.E.(Uterine Prolapse Research, Information, Support, & Education) http://prolapse.hyperboards2.com/ind...rd=Talk&start=
hmm thats interesting. when I read through it says "labor and delivery..believed to be ...a cause of.." believed?? they aren't even sure?? I have to say that "I" don't "believe" it is a cause. and if it is there is some underlying reason this could cause it. woman are perfectly made to have babies. I wouldn't want some newly prego mama to worry about that. it is NOT common in a normal healthy person. Kegels are a miracle!! before and after birth. I would say for them to work though you would have to do about 200 a day for them to work which is what I did. for about 3 months before delivery and 3 months after. Although when I was in my last month the pressure from babe on my uterus did cause some leakage when I laughed or coughed. But I do believe had I not did the amt of kegels I did perhaps I would be in that boat..
post #271 of 354
Large babies, lying on your back and pushing for 2 1/2 hours, episiotomies, epidurals, any intervention (i.e. fetal monitors, forceps, vaccum) are definite factors. I am sure that if I would have not had any of the above I would be in much better shape. The only thing I didn't have was the forceps and the vaccum. If I would have known about all of this, I would have definitely gone completely natural!!!! If only someone would have let me know!! That is why I put this on here.
post #272 of 354
thanks, chandral, that really creeped me out---though it did serve as a reminder to kegel (like, now!)!
post #273 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilysmama
Large babies, lying on your back and pushing for 2 1/2 hours, episiotomies, epidurals, any intervention (i.e. fetal monitors, forceps, vaccum) are definite factors. I am sure that if I would have not had any of the above I would be in much better shape. The only thing I didn't have was the forceps and the vaccum. If I would have known about all of this, I would have definitely gone completely natural!!!! If only someone would have let me know!! That is why I put this on here.
I think ppl were responding more with the thought of non-invasive birth in mind. Kegals are a must, without them there are problems from increased risk of tearing, to uterine (and anal) prolapse. Of course, if a doctor cut through the pelivc floor muscles they will be weak and these probems will occur. And because, unlike a natural tear, it is impossible to peice together layers of muscle that have been cut evenly through, the area will always remain weaker than it was prior to the cut. I would hope that no one would make someone feel bad for not knowing these things, but we also all need to realize (all the people in the world) just how powerful knowledge is, and take it upon ourselves to ensure we take in the best information.
post #274 of 354
What a great thread! Any more surprises out there?
post #275 of 354
I'm probably repeating a lot because my eyeballs are starting to hurt from reading all the responses. Here are mine:

1: I was afraid, no TERRIFIED, of the first few postpartum BMs! I don't know why I could push out an 8 pound baby but was afraid to sit on the toilet. I drank prune juice like it was going out of existence and that helped a lot.

2: The peri bottle is wonderful. It was my best friend. Because, besides being afraid of going to the bathroom, I was afraid of toilet paper.

3: Not everyone has horrible breastfeeding problems. With my first pregnancy, I read every book I could get my hands on, and it seemed like they all assumed women will have a horrible breastfeeding relationship: flat nipples, poor latch, mastitis, thrush, the works. I was terrified and really anxious about nursing. It was fine! It was a great quiet time. I wasn't comfortable with NIP for a few weeks, so I got to sit alone in my room with no one bothering me while I nursed. It was a good excuse to get a break when I was tired of visitors, too.

4: One of the things I said after DS was born: "Am I still supposed to hurt?" I was so sore...I guess all that perineal (sp) stretching did me in. It didn't last long, but it definitely didn't just stop hurting right after I finished pushing.

5: Olive Oil + Perineum = Ahhhhhh
DH did perineal massage with olive oil from about 36 weeks on in my first pregnancy. He could tell the stretch was improving and I had not a single tear when DS was born. We didn't do it with my second pregnancy and I did tear...I know that wasn't the only reason (she was born quickly) but it made me wish we had at least tried to do massages.

6: Let me reiterate...prune juice is your friend.

7: Don't ask the nurses if you can take a bath after the baby is born. Wait til they're gone and just do it. With my first, we were in an apartment with no tub (just a standing shower) and I was dying for a bath. I asked them if I could and they said no because of the "risk of infection". : 2nd baby, same hospital - I told my husband to lock the door to my room and I hopped into the whirlpool. It was so nice and relaxing after the intensity of the birth.

8: Textbook labors happen in textbooks. I don't know anyone who had a regular "textbook" labor, they are all so different.

9: If your first labor is long and tough, it doesn't mean your second will be long and tough (and vice versa). My first and second were very different, except for the fact that htey both started in active labor (cntx 3 minutes apart & 60 seconds long from the beginning).

10: If you are paying for the birth yourself (or even if your insurance is paying but you want to be sure about the bill), REQUEST AN ITEMIZED BILL FROM THE HOSPITAL. When DS was born, I was insured but he was not (long story ). We got an itemized bill and found that they put on some things that we didn't get and services we didn't use. We made them take off a couple tests that we waived, pacifiers and diapers, etc. and dramatically reduced our bill. I don't think they liked us very much but it was no sweat off our backs.
post #276 of 354
Oh and one more thing!

After birth I was SO! EMOTIONAL!

I remember going to CVS for something when DS was only a week or so old. He was asleep when we arrived so DH went inside while I stayed with DS. I just looked at him and started to cry because I had never felt that way about anyone or anything. I couldn't believe how strongly I loved him or how much I wanted to keep him safe.

Then there are women who don't feel that they can bond with their baby, because they weren't quite ready for birth, or they're having breastfeeding issues, or they had a really difficult labor, or whatever. My friend was like that because she was seperated from her baby for several weeks after birth (both baby and mom were having serious complications), and felt like she missed out on important bonding time. It didn't make her a bad person because she felt like she wasn't bonding with her baby, and it doesn't make me a good person because I was head over heels in love from the very beginning. Emotions are funny...just make sure you have the support you need (friends, family, MDC, moms' groups if you're lucky enough to find a good one, LLL) and it will help tremendously.
post #277 of 354
If you get skidmarks instead of/in addition to tears, they can heal together. Yes, together. I mean, like, your labia can fuse together and make a neat little tunnel between your vagina and your clitoris. And by "neat," I mean "dangerous and a pain in the tush to undo." My midwife was horrified when she did my postpartum exam.

I wasn't prepared for a bruised tailbone, but a bruised tailbone I got.

Sheila Kitzinger lied to me. It *is* possible to deliver a baby when your contractions are still farther apart than 2 minutes. You *can* be in or past transition when they're 5 minutes apart.

Last but not least, laboring while dehydrated is worse than transition. Once I was rehydrated at the hospital, labor and delivery were a piece of cake.
post #278 of 354
Kitzinger said that?!! I am seriously disappointed in her! I though it was common knowledge that labor slows down in the second stage, its typical that contractions space out to about 5 minutes apart during the pushing phase.
post #279 of 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by NameThatMama
Sheila Kitzinger lied to me. It *is* possible to deliver a baby when your contractions are still farther apart than 2 minutes. You *can* be in or past transition when they're 5 minutes apart.
My 3rd labor was really strange - my contractions stayed pretty much 5 minutes apart the ENTIRE twenty hours including the time when I started to push. It really sucked.
post #280 of 354
I should clarify... page 256 (fourth edition) Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth, Kitzinger wrote: "Having contractions every five minutes can be tiring ... [blahblah] ... But the baby cannot possibly be born when contractions are coming this far apart." Per Kitzinger, my 11-week-old should still be inside me. My contractions were never regularly closer than 5 minutes apart. She also writes that they're usually 15-30 seconds, but most of mine were at least a minute, frequently two.
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