what's happening (developmentaly) to my 3yo?

[momadance]

what's happening (developmentaly) to my 3yo?

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I feel like I don't know him, and that I'm missing some big explanation as to why he's so hot and cold. He's becoming super independant as far as doing things on his own, and not wanting any help, but when he can't do it, he freaks, and has a major breakdown. I'm usually right next to him, and just sit and rub his back, and he'll tell me how sad he feels, but didn't want mommy to help. But on the other side of this new independance, I can't be out of his sight. I need to be on top of him at all times. If we're at the park he wants me to follow down the slides (i'm 27 weeks preggers right now, and frankly I don't feel like I'd fit) It's just now starting to slightly wear on my nerves (he had a meltdown over some sweatpants, and I went into the kitchen till he settled a little bit) So I figure, I'm super proud of how awesom I'm handling alll this, and if I have some insight as to what his little mind and body are going through, I'll have no problem staying positive.

It reminds me of the saying 2 steps forward 1 step back. He's starting banging his head, lashing out at me physically, and attempting to bite when he freaks. All things we've dealt with before, there just resurfacing. He can be so intense, and I know he's got no self control when he's doing these things, so I don't take it personally, (although a bite landed the other day, and the severe pain of it p*ssed me off) On the inside though!

[ajsmom]

Welcome to 3 year old land...

Ds just came through all this and is now a lot of fun. He did as you described and it was SO HARD! : And I am not pregnant. Just remember that he is only 3, say it over and over again...

DS is very articulate so helping him find the words for his emotions just made it worse. I finally said that I was going to stop talking now, he argued opposites with me a lot, and he eventually changed. Now he's more mature and even can cry about some things without MELTING DOWN!

Big hugs for you both during this time. I took a lot of mommy breaks and let dh parent. Once your next one arrives, I recommend getting out alone, with the little one, as often as you can to allow your son and you to have a break. I see my son fresh and new even when I am gone for an hour or so.

If he hurts me I let him know and teach how to apologize to me and kiss where he hurt me.

[kazmir]

My DD was/is the same way. She is getting better but get frustrated if she cant do everything herself. I am getting better at waiting before helping or doing something for her so the "I wanted to do that" incidents are decreasing. They are testing their capabilities and surroundings, but are only 3 so they cannot do everything they think they can. It does get slowly better as they have more successes and start to realize they can't do it all ( a hard concept even for me! ) I have to take breaks from DD if things are getting alittle crazy and we both do deep breaths together to help calm down.

I think you are handling it very well and I think maybe he is realizing that there will be a baby in the house soon and it may be affecting the acting out instances that are coming up (hitting/biting/head banging) I have a 4 yr old and am about 17 weeks along with baby #2, we haven't even told DD yet but will soon have to. Then I bet I will be dealing with some of the same issues again just as you are.

Hang in there!

Robin

[amebt]

That is exactly how ds#1 has been acting. The other night he told me he didn't like his mommy. And then 10 minutes later he wants cuddles. I can't offer any suggestions, only support. This "stage" has just started for us as well.