Where will your new babe sleep? - Page 2

[Periwinkle]

Originally Posted by mehndi mama

No sidecars or co-sleeper thingies... you can't breastfeed without waking up with those, either.

Mehndi mama, can you go into detail of why cosleeper didn't work for bfing for you? I am really interested in hearing pros/cons of cosleepers. Thanks!

[mehndi mama]

Mainly, I have "sensual" kids - every one of them has a hard time sleeping without a warm body right next to them, and they are all highly touch-happy (nipple twiddling & skin-rubbing is a big problem with me, because my kids can never control their hands when they nurse, and actually have screaming fits if I try to restrain their hand.) Because of that, if they get moved into a spot that is not mommy-temperature, they wake right up. This has been consistent with all 4 of my kids - I can get them to sleep in bed and then gently move away from them if I tuck my body-warmed covers around them first, but I can't lay them down easily, or move them over easily.
I figure, I have a big bed, it's easier for me to move over if I have to, yk?
Anyway, about the nursing. Unless your baby is right at breast-level, tucked in with you, you're going to have to wake up to some kind of concious level to get them out of whatever sleeping contraption they happen to be in when they want to nurse at night. Which also means that the baby will have to wake up enough to let you know that they need to nurse. If the baby is right in bed with you, after that initial adjustment period, it is most likely that neither you or the baby will wake up to nurse. The baby will rouse enough to root, and you will rouse enough to help get the nipple to the baby's mouth, but that's all that it takes. And once they're done, they'll just let go, and you don't have to worry about waking them again to get them back in their bed.....which will have cooled down by that point.

I don't know - I may be prejudiced (my folks co-slept with my 4 siblings, the youngest being twins), but I've always felt that the co-sleeper baby beds shouldn't be called such. Because having a baby sleeping in their own little space isn't really co-sleeping (for the breastfeeding & warmth reasons mentioned previosly) - it's just putting their crib within arm's reach. True, your reaction time is much quicker than with the baby in a separate crib across the room or in another room, and the baby still has the benefit of not being alone, and can hear their parents' breathing, but they are still reliant on their own body heat to keep them warm, they aren't getting the carbon dioxide signals from the mother's breathing to keep them regulated, and they have to rouse more fully to nurse.

We use a bedrail on my side of the bed in the early weeks, and I find that that is more than enough security. You find that you become very aware of where your baby is, even when sleeping, and falling isn't much of an issue. If you are concerned about falling, though, you can always get rid of your bed-frame & put the mattress on the floor.

[Periwinkle]

Mehndi Mama thank you for the very thorough and extremely helpful reply. What you wrote makes a lot of sense.

Thanks again.

[mehndi mama]

You're welcome.

[heveasoul]

I'm with Periwinkle on the ?s, ?s, ?s...! So mendhi - the railing is on your side is because baby sleeps on your side, not between you and dh? How about naps, or if you want to stay up later in the evening than baby?

[mehndi mama]

I sometimes have the baby on the side of the bed, and sometimes between us. Depends on who is in the bed, and how comfortable I am in whichever position. For naps, the baby stays in the bed with the bedrail up. It's a king-sized bed on the floor, and I've never had a little one roll off or roll to the other side.....or even roll/scooch into another position while sleeping. I guess that would all depend on your particular baby - if you have a scoocher, you may be more comfortable with another arrangement for naps.
I do nap with the baby as much as possible, especially for the 6 weeks postpartum. And if you're hoping to use LAM for keeping your periods away, that's a good practice to get into, too - a nursing-nap at least once a day, where the baby has prolonged access to the breast and you are getting rest.

My girls were quite small when they were newborns - both under 7 lbs - and I was more comfortable bundling them into a blanket sleeper & a wrap-blanket & sleeping them on top of the covers, rather than having them under the covers with me. I just wore a warm nursing nightie, so my shoulders wouldn't freeze, and they still had all-night breast access.

The whole co-sleeping concept is a flux state - it is very dependent on your own sleep-needs, you baby's preferences, and how much you are willing to adapt. For me, the only thing that would make me give up in-the-bed co-sleeping would be a baby that absolutely can't be touched in order to sleep well. Anything else is workable, because I firmly believe that babies need to be ON their mothers 24/7 when very young.....or very nearly 24/7. (I do get up during naps if I need to, and can. But if I can't, I try to roll with it, yk?)

[Mama2Chloe]

When I was PG with Chloe, DH and I both said that the baby would sleep in the bassinet and then transition to the crib. We had it all set up. My friend was bugging me to read "Nightime Parenting" by Dr. Sears and to consider co-sleeping. I wanted nothing to do with it. When I gave birth, I couldn't sleep without her right beside me. I wanted to make sure she was breathing. I knew that I would be up every minute or so to check on her so we just ended up cosleeping from the start. I did read "Nighttime parenting" a few months later and really felt like I was doing the right thing. I thought it was fasinating that chemically you and baby get on the same sleep cycle so therefore you sleep better. Baby doesn't wake you up when you are in your deep sleep. Also, DH slept better because Chloe didn't have to cry to get my attention or to wake me up to nurse her.

With this baby we are going to continue cosleeping. We have a king size and I'm sure it will work out for us. I would urge all of you that are making the sleeping arrangement decisions to look into cosleeping. There is nothing better than waking up next to your sweet little baby every morning. BTW, dd has always slept really well and DH has always slept with us. Good luck with your arrangements

[justmama]

My dd has co-slept from birth until about 6 months ago(she just turned 4 a few weeks ago). I was a single mom with a twin bed and we just stopped sleepign well together and though I would have liked to co-sleep longer and I know she would have too, it just seemed like a good time to wean her to her own bed. Now I'm married and have #2 on the way. DH has himself convinced that the baby will be in a bassinet beside our bed for a while. He's mistaken. We WILL co-sleep. This is his first and despite his good intentions, he is pretty mainstream when it comes to that. This baby won't co-sleep as long as Madyson did but definitely for a while. The only baby equipment I am buying is diapers and clothing. I already have a sling from dd and we won't need a crib until baby is much much older and all the rest of the stuff is not necessary for us. Though I think I will miss shopping for all the stuff that people think they need for an infant! But I guess that means I can spend more on cute clothing since I'll be sewing diapers and not buying useless equipment!!!!!
Meg

[Orange]

I guess we'll see what this baby prefers/needs. I thought we'd co-sleep 100% with DD.

When DD was still super little, we did mostly co-sleep and she'd pretty much only nap in the sling. She went to bed early (7-ish) and would sleep for 4-6 hours. I was afraid to put her in our bed without me there so she usually spent that period in her bassinette. When she'd wake up to nurse, I'd bring her back to sleep with us in our bed.

I never thought about not waking up fully to nurse her until she was a bit older. I'd always get up, nurse her, change her, nurse her again, rock her to sleep, then bring her back to bed. I'd do this every 1-3 hours (after that initial long stretch).

Now that I'm wiser I'd just get up, nurse in bed, go to sleep. Much easier.

[Christi]

I'm definately going to cosleep with this baby. Right now Ds sleeps with me he is almost 3. Terrell sleeps in a diferent room. He doesnt' sleep well with us. I'm not sure what to do with Gareth when the baby comes. Our house is a two bedroom. One room is and office/terrells room. That is the only room we can put the computer in. The Queen bed won't fit in there So I can't move into there and give Gareth our current room. I think I will probably end up cosleeping with both and getting a side rail. Gareth always slept in the middle when he was little. I'm worried about the baby waking Gareth up during the first few weeks while we are all adjusting adn then having a tired cranky mom and son. Has anyone coslept with a toddler and an infant? I'd love to hear how you did it.

[kater07]

We plan to co-sleep. We haven't decided if that means a side-car or baby between us or simply putting the crib in our room for a while. DS slept between us until he was 15 months, then he went to his toddler bed in our room and now sleeps in the big bed in the guest room.

I am convinced there's something that he hates about his matress b/c he's only slept in his bed (convertable crib) a handful of times. He'll sleep for 10 hours in a big bed. He used to get hysterical if we put him on the matress of his crib. I just dunno...

Anywho, baby will be somewhere in our room. Most likely in a side car. But who knows? DS wasn't supposed to EVER sleep with us and DH just couldn't leave him in the bassinet (I was laying there sad b/c I wanted him in bed but DH had been adamant about him not being in bed with us).

Cheers!

[lillaurensmomma]

Well, it depends on the baby to be honest. With dd we assumed she'd sleep in her crib in her room like a good little newborn. HA! It wasn't long before I realized that getting up a zillion times a night to nurse wasn't fun. So I slept with her on the daybed. The problem with sleeping with her is that she is very warm natured and would cry if I was up against her (she also hated to be swaddled). So eventually we sidecar-ed her crib and she slept so much better that way. She would nurse in the night, roll over and have her own space. Then she'd come searching for mama when she was hungry

With this one, I imagine we'll start out with a bassinet in our room. If the baby seems to be a snuggler, we'll sidecar again so that the baby can be up against me without fear of falling out of the bed (dh is anticoleeping but will tolerate it as long as the baby isn't between us. In his defense he is a HEAVY sleeper and has rolled over on me a few times...he has reason to worry!) So we'll wait and see what this child is like before making any big decisions!


j

[HelloKitty]

We are co-sleeping with our 20 month old, we will probably either push a twin bed beside our bed for him or a sidecar for the baby so we can still be close but still have enough room for me and DH to sleep.